"Mwa ha ha ha, Time Lord!" laughed the slimy, semi-translucent alien. "Soon all your secrets will be ours!" He wiggled his eyestalks menacingly at the Doctor.
"Let us loose," said the Doctor, his blue eyes flashing, "or you won't like what happens next."
Rose sighed to herself. Since she, Jack, and the Doctor were all still chained to the wall of the alien laboratory, she was pretty sure he was just bluffing. Which meant that this was probably going to take awhile. And, darn it, she was starting to get hungry.
She studied their two slug-like captors. They had introduced themselves, but Rose couldn't remember (or pronounce) their names, so she mentally dubbed them Blue and Blue-Green. As far as she could tell, Blue was in charge, and Blue-Green was the…henchman? Scientist? Something like that anyway. She sighed again and leaned back against the wall, hoping that this wouldn't take too long.
Meanwhile, Jack was getting into the spirit of things. "Yeah," he said to Blue. "You'll live to regret this!"
"No, don't do that," muttered the Doctor. "Really, don't."
"Enough of this," snapped Blue. "Bring forth the injection!"
Blue-Green hustled around the counter and produced a hypodermic filled with a sinister pink liquid.
Rose looked up nervously. "What's that, then?"
"Immobilize the Doctor," cried Blue, and Blue-Green pressed a button to tighten his restraints.
"What are you doing to him?" demanded Rose, as the Doctor struggled against the manacles. This seemed like it was taking a nasty turn.
The aliens ignored her. At a nod from Blue, Blue-Green plunged the needle into the Doctor's arm and depressed the plunger.
"Stop it!" yelled Rose. "What did you give him?" The Doctor's head was lolling back.
Blue smirked at her. "Just a little cocktail we cooked up especially for him." He waived a flagellum at a notebook containing the formula. "Something to eliminate his inhibitions to following my directions and make him a little more…complaisant." He nodded again to Blue-Green. "You may release him now."
As Blue-Green unlocked the Doctor, the Time Lord seemed to come awake. He stumbled forward and shook his head as though to clear it. Rose smirked.
"Oh, yeah?" she said to Blue. "Well, joke's on you, mister, 'cause he's got 'superior biology.' Aliens are always trying to drug him up, and it never works."
"Uh, Rose," said Jack. "I think it might have this time."
The Doctor was looking at nothing, smiling blankly.
"Doctor," said Rose, frightened. "Doctor!"
His head snapped up, and he stared at her. "Rose," he whispered.
"Now then, Doctor, if you would be so kind," said Blue smugly, "we'd like you to take a look at our design for the Doomsday Weapon and…"
But the Doctor wasn't listening. He walked over to where Rose was still confined and threaded his fingers into her hair.
"I adore you," he said, and Rose's eyebrows jumped up.
"Do you?" she squeaked.
"Mm-hmm," he said, leaning forward to bury his nose in her hair and sniff. His hands started tracing the sides of her face. "Absolutely adore you. Is there anything you want? 'Cause whatever it is, I'll get it for you. Anything at all."
To her right, Jack was snickering.
"Oh," answered Rose in a strange voice. "Well, I guess there's…" But she was cut off as the Doctor tilted her head up and kissed her on the mouth.
The rest of the room stood in gob-smacked silence.
"Uh, I'll be honest," said Blue-Green after a moment, his eyestalks stretching outward in amazement. "That's not what I was expecting."
"Why is he…biting…her facial aperture?" asked Blue, clearly puzzled.
"What do I do?" asked Rose frantically, as the Doctor broke away from her mouth to nibble his way down her neck. "Jack!" But Jack was still laughing.
The Doctor's head snapped up. "Do you…want Jack?" he asked, eyes suddenly burning.
"No, she does not. She definitely does not want Jack," said Jack, nervously tugging at his restraints.
"'Cause, like I said," the Doctor murmured, nuzzling the side of her face, the curve of her ear, "you can have anything you want."
"Does. That's what I meant to say. She definitely DOES want Jack," said Jack emphatically.
"It will. Make me. A bit. Sad though," said the Doctor, punctuating his words with kisses to Rose's cheeks, nose, forehead, eyelids. "Since I adore you." He frowned. "I told you that, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did," she answered softly.
"So, what should we do?" asked Blue-Green.
"Well, obviously, we need to remove the female," said Blue. "Take her away somewhere."
"I wouldn't if I were you," said the Doctor in the same quiet tone, as he caressed Rose's throat with his finger tips. "Not unless you want me to level your lab to the ground. I've thought of eight separate ways that I could do it." He kissed her again.
Blue and Blue-Green paused at this. "Huh," said Blue-Green. "You know, I think he might have meant that." He turned to Blue. "What do we do?"
The Doctor pulled back to look into Rose's eyes. "Do you want me to level their lab to the ground?" he asked, cupping her face with one hand. "You can pick the method."
Behind him, the two aliens started frantically waving their flagella, trying to signal 'no' at her.
"Um," said Rose. She bit her lip, as though considering his offer. The aliens' eyestalks were stretched straight up in alarm. "I guess not," she said at last, and Blue and Blue-Green slumped over in relief. "I would like to leave, though. Maybe go get some chips?"
The Doctor nodded solemnly. "Chips it is, then." He fished out his sonic screwdriver and freed her. As she tumbled forward, he caught her and swept her up for another kiss. This time, there was tongue. Meanwhile, Blue and Blue-Green decided to make a hasty retreat.
"Um, Doctor," said Jack hesitantly. "Doctor?"
The Doctor ignored him. Still mouth to mouth, he started to pull Rose toward the door.
"Rose!" called Jack as he rattled his restraints. "C'mon, don't leave me here!"
Without breaking the kiss, Rose reached down and tugged the sonic screwdriver out of the Doctor's hands. She aimed it in Jack's direction, and, possibly by luck, managed to get the cuffs open. Then, moaning a little, she put her arms around the Doctor's neck as he swept her up and carried her toward the exit. They were still kissing.
Jack rolled his eyes as he watched the two of them go. He picked up the aliens' abandoned note book. "'Time Lord Resistance Inhibitor,'" he read. "'Effects likely to last four to eight hours.' Huh." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That's going to make for an interesting trip to a South London chippy."
He pocketed the notebook and followed his friends.