Chapter 4: Journey To Disaster
"Am I alright over there Alan?" Doug asked not getting a clear sight in his mirror.
"Yeah your good." Alan lied, not even looking over just keeping his eyes on his book. Oh shit.
Doug turned to go into the lane next to us but just as the body of the car started to merge an inch over the road lines,
we were interuppted by a loud honk from a huge semi behind us,
Doug immedietly yanked to car back to the original lane.
Alan was laughing hysterically, Stu looked terrified, Doug looked pissed off, Sam had fallen off Phil's lap and was laying all spread eagle across us all.
"Oh my god!" Stu panted obviously irritated and in shock over what just happened.
Sam flung up from laying down, "Holy Shit! What the hell just happened!"
That was awesome! Alan laughed with a huge grin on his face.
While trying to play attention the the road and get over what just happened Doug yelled, "That was not awesome, what is wrong with you!"
Alan laughed piercing our eardrums, and you could faintly hear Phil's laugh. I then realized I was gripping onto Phil's arm and
I quickly let go before he or anyone else noticed, probably just reaction and he was closest to me. Phil looked at me and we just locked eyes for a moment or then we both looked away awkwardly. Sam glared at Alan.
"That was insane we almost just died!" Stu yelled to Alan hoping he would get the point and apologize. But he didnt.
"You should've seen your face!" Alan yelled, laughing at Doug looking at him "Haha classic!
"That's funny." Phil said in between laughs
Laughing, I through my hands up and yelled "Whoo! That was fun!" That was funny! Doug, Stu and Sam glared at me as me and Alan high fived each other. Me, Phil and Alan thought it was funny but Sam, Doug and Stu...didnt.
"Not funny Alan!" Sam and Doug muttered in unsion, angry. "I just got my face slammed into Jamie's croch because of you!" Sam raised her voice.
"You do have a lot of experience sucking-" Phil said laughing.
"Shut up Phillis." Sam spat back.
Phils smile dropped instantly, Sam always called him that, and he always hated it. Doug chuckled once.
Phil flipped her the finger "Sit on it" he shot back.
"You would like that wouldn't you." she said with a smirk.
"You would like it more than I would." Phil retorted.
"Shut up you two!" I laughed.
Me and the guys just laughed, as they glared at each other.
We drove for about 45 more minutes until we pulled over at a gas station. Alan waited by the car reading "The Worlds Greatest Blackjack Book" while the rest of us went in. Apparently Alan is "preparing for Vegas" as he put it when I asked him about the book. What is he up too? Whatever it is, its probably weird because well he is Alan. Sam grabbed a hotdog, I grabbed a Red Bull and some Fritos, then me and Sam walked up the the counter behind Phil who was eating some Lays and Doug who was just standing there holding a case of beer. We all looked out the window to see Alan leaning against the car reading, and an old man probably in his early 60s walked up beside him and started talking, I saw Alan talk but we couldn't hear because we were to far away, he didn't look up from the book at first. Then he looked at him and said something I didn't hear. The old man quickly shook his head and started to walk away looking a little scared. Alan then closed his book and started to follow the the man but stopped between two gas pumps.
Yeah you better walk on Alan said trying to be intimidating.
Me and Sam laughed kind of loudly.
Phil jumped. "Holy shit! Fuckin' pop up out of nowhere. Phil exclaimed. Doug smiled.
Sam and I just laughed. We all turned our attention back to Alan.
"He's actually kind of funny." Phil said looking at Alan, laughing.
"Yeah he means well." Doug said not knowing what to think of it.
"I'll hit and old man in public!" Alan said from outside. Me and Sam laughed a little harder. Oh Alan...
"I love that fucking kid." I said laughing.
Phil chuckled, "Is he all there like mentally?"
I smacked Phil's arm, he was so hard on Alan.
He looked at me "Oh yeah I like it rough!" he smirked, with raising his eyebrows up and down.
"Eww pervert!" I exclaimed hitting his arm again. He just laughed. Phil is and always has been a flirt natrually, it didn't mean he liked me he was always that way, it didn't mean anything right?
"I think so he's just an odd guy. You know he's kind of weird" Doug replied
"I mean should we be worried?" Phil continued questioning.
Doug shook his head "No, no."
"Alright." Phil muttered.
"Tracy did mention that we shouldn't let him gamble or drink to much." Doug said putting his stuff on the counter.
"Jesus, he's like a gremlin comes with intrustions and shit". Phil said sounding a little annoyed.
"He looks like one too." Sam snickered.
"I know, damn, he's actually really fun when he is drunk." I said with a laugh.
"How would you know?" Doug asked confused.
"I went to college with Tracy and sometimes he tagged along to parties." I said with a shrug.
Doug just nodded.
Sam gulped after shoving her whole hotdog in her mouth.
"Wow you must've really liked that hotdog Sam, you didn't even chew it." Phil said with a smirk.
"I know fattie." I said teasing her, but she ignored my comment.
Sam looked pissed then a small mile appeared on her face, "You know Phil you might want to get some condoms for Vegas, Oh wait, fuck- they don't make condoms that small..."
Doug and I "oohed" Phil rolled his eyes, and glared at me for laughing.
"Awh poor Philly poo" I said in a baby voice.
"Shut up." he said, and I just laughed with Sam and Doug.
Stu came up behind us and stretched his arm over us so he could place his water bottle on the counter. "And one water." Stu said. Doug turned and eyed him up and down for a minute.
"All good with Melissa?" he asked and crossed his arms.
Stu nodded, "Oh yeah, told her we were two hours outside of wine country and she bought it." Stu said as if he was proud of himself for lying so well.
Phil heard the tone and turned around, not wanting to miss the opportunity to question Stu. I turned around also and smirked, this should be interesting.
"Don't you think its strange that you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas, and that two of your female friends are tagging along?" Phil said with a little cockyness at always.]. Sam had a huge smile on her face, wondering how Stu was gonna answer that one.
Stu nodded and spoke honestly, "Yeah I do. but trust be its not worth the fight." Stu said with a laugh. He's laughing? When did something funny happen? I thought to myself sarcastically.
"Oh so you can't go the Vegas but she can fuck a bellhop on a carnival cruise line?" Phil questioned sarcastically.
"Whipped," Sam said laughing. "Wha-push" I made a whip sound.
Phil laughed, then I realized something Phil said.
"Wait wait whoa whoa," I interuppted before Stu could respond. "She cheated on you on a cruise?" I asked stunned. I was stunned that he was still with her, not that she did it.
"Yeah she did and he is still with her." Phil answered, shaking his head.
"That is so fucked!" I said irritated that he could be so naive. Stu just rolled his eyes.
"Thank you finally someone agrees with me!" Phil exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and smacking them back down on his sides.
"What a bitch." I muttered.
"I know right." Phil agreed. We never agree...why are we all the sudden getting along?
Doug looked down from embarrassment, and gave the cashier a fake smile and the cashier just looked at all of us weirdly.
"Okay first of all he was a bartender," Stu corrected lamely and she was wasted.
"Denial." Sam sighed shaking her head, I laughed and Stu glared at her.
"He's defending her!" I yelled.
"Really Stu?" Sam asked sarcastically.
"And if you must know Jamie, he didn't even cum inside her." Stu said trying to prove his point, but made all of us cringe.
"TMI Stu." Sam said with a disgusted look on her face.
"And you believe that?" Phil asked Stu in disbelief.
"Okay I didn't need to know that, but at least you guys will never have kids," I said with a smirk, Phil, Sam and Doug even laughed a little. Stu shot me a look, then turned his attention back to Phil.
Phil laughed and turned back toward the counter.
"Yeah I do believe that because she is grossed out by semen." Stu said all matter-of-factly.
Phil's eyes went wide, and me and Sam had grossed out looked on our faces.
We all went silent after that, and had nothing to say. The cashier looked annoyed. "That'll be 32.50."
Turning to Stu, Phil said, "Its 32.50 you gonna pay for that?" Then walked out.
We were finally back on the rode, Phil had convinced me to sit on his lap, but I only did it for Sam's sake she had already had enough of Phil today.
At first I had suggested that Alan sit in the back with the guys but Phil and Stu were way to weirded out by him to have his squished in between them,
so as the peacemaker I just gave up and sat on Phil's lap. He was happy about that and had that cocky grin on his face. Doug didn't really like the idea, being the protective brother he is. It was peacefully silent for awhile until Alan finally broke the silence.
"It says here we should work in teams who wants to be my spotter?" Alan said while still looking at his book.
Doug shook his head,"I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight Alan."
"Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling if you know your going to win." Alan said with pride.
"And how do you know your going to win Alan?" I asked looking around.
"I have this book. Alan said referring to his blackjack book, "Plus counting cards is a foolproof system."
"Its also illegal." Stu added.
"Good point." Sam commented.
Its not illegal it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane." Alan said with a strait face. Sam was already trying not to laugh. Me and Phil looked at each other smiling and shaking our heads. Alan is so weird which makes him so entertaining, I'm actually glad he is coming along.
Doug let out a laugh as Phil said, "I'm pretty sure thats illegal too."
"Finally Phil says something that makes sense!" I said sarcastically.
"When have I never made sense?" Phil asked obviously offended.
I paused for a moment then said, "I would rather not answer that question Phil." With a smile.
Phil squeezed the sides of my stomach trying to tickle me. It worked and I jumped with a small scream. I just glared at his at he smirked, his signature smirk that i love so much..and what am i saying! Doug looked at hearing me scream and glared at Phil. Sam looked at me and gave me a devious smile, I glared back.
"Yeah maybe after 9/11 when everybody got so sensitive." He paused. "Thanks a lot Bin Laden."
Doug laughed, with me and Phil, Sam was trying really hard not to laugh this time.
"Either way you gotta be super smart to count cards buddy, okay, its not easy." Doug said still trying to reason with him.
"Oh really?" Alan asked sounding insulted. "Well maybe you should tell that to rain man because he practically bankrupted a casino and he was a ruh-tard." Alan said with pride, mispronouncing retard.
Sam was now laughing freely.
"What?" I asked laughing.
"He was a ruh-tard," Alan repeated, as if i didn't hear him, not seeing my point. Oh gosh. Alan is so funny...
"Wow." Sam and Stu said at the same time. Looking at each other, Sam smiling and snickering.
"Retard." Doug corrected smiling as me and Phil laughed at Doug having to correct Alan. We both looked at each other laughing and I stopped as we made eye contact and were just staring at each other.
"Whoo!" Sam yelled
Sam cleared her throat and I glanced at her, she has a smirk plastered across her face, I rolled my eyes and looked away, realizing how awkward it is for me to be sitting on Phil's lap. I shook away the thought and focused on the road as we continued to drive to Las Vegas.
Sorry sorry sorry for not updating! I feel horrible! I will be updating way more often! Thank you for all the reviews and please please keep them coming! Anonymous review accepted!
7 more reviews for the next chapter! I have 10 so far so once I'm at 17 reviews I will update! Thank you!