What Part of Forever…
It had been four years since I last stepped foot in the La Push reservation and I was now back. After the year of drama, tears, anger, happiness and overall the emotional rollercoaster I had before leaving for college and now I was back with a degree in Political Sciences and Government from Harvard and with hundreds of job offers.
Only one person knew I was coming back and that was my boyfriend. My face lit up with the thought of his russet skin and beautifully deep obsidian eyes and his soft scorching lips as he kissed me. When I left he was a fit but not muscle-clad boy but after all the pictures he had sent me I got that he had put on loads of weight and worked off all that into strength filled muscles and had shot up from 5"10' (over my small 5"4) to 6"7.
I had missed him so much over those years but we were still strong and had a wonderfully close relationship.
"Bells!" My head whipped over to the sound and I saw the face of my boyfriend.
"Jake!" I ran over to him, dropping my luggage and hugging him as close as I possibly could. He chuckled deeply and I felt the vibration of his chest due to the rumbling sound. He held me in his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist, peppering his face with kisses. "I. missed. you. So. So. So. much. I. love. you" by the end of my corny phrase and punctuating every word with a kiss, I stared into his eyes that were a deep endless sea of black and adoration. I just kissed his lips as passionately as I could muster and clutched him to me as hard as I could (which granted, with my small frame and all, wasn't much, but still). He let out a low growl that made me shiver in recognition. I wiped that thought from my mind and kept kissing him as he deepened it and thrust his tongue in my mouth coaxing me to play with his.
A slow, low moan ripped from my lips thanks to his chocolate mint taste and he just kissed me a little more before letting us part for air. I smiled a bright grin and kissed his cheek after. He returned one of his own and helped me unwrap my legs from his waist and placed me on the floor. I just grabbed his hand as I took one of the bags and he took the other.
"Jake?" he turned to me with a warm smile and cocked an eyebrow in question. "I missed you baby boy" I said before squeezing his hand. He swooped his head down, stole a kiss from me and smiled.
"I missed you too beautiful" he simply said as we walked out of the airport and over to his truck, the same one that had been mine but I gave it to him. "How was the plane ride?" I sighed loudly.
"It was SO boring. I swear! I wanted to fall asleep but I couldn't because of my seat neighbor who snored like a bear in hibernation, I swear I was about to slip my flats off and hit him with them" He just laughed as he helped me up the truck, taking my other bag from my hands and putting both in the backseat and sitting on the driver's seat. "So, what's up, babe? What has happened in those 4 years I left?" he turned to me and just squeezed my thigh softly.
"Too many things" I turned to look at him expectantly.
"Well? Tell me, it's a long drive from Seattle to La Push so I think I have time" he sighed.
"Quil is a babysitter now" I snorted on that one.
"What? Quil as in Quil 'The Pervert' Ateara? Really? You must be joking, I can't imagine him taking care of himself even less a small child" Jake and I laughed.
"Yeah, he's not so bad. Little Claire loves him" I raised an eyebrow.
"So not only is he a babysitter but they left a little girl in his care. Are her parents' brains fudge? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even let him take care of a fish for me, he'd be dead in an hour" Jake snorted and just guffawed louder.
"I totally missed your sense of humor" I just smiled at that.
"I missed every single thing of you. I can't wait for us to get past the whole saying 'hello' to everyone and to be in your bedroom… alone… at night… with nothing more but you in your birthday suit, me and the bed" he growled at that and his hand that was resting on my thigh was now moving up my thigh shamelessly. A small sigh left my lips as his magical fingers touched my nether place.
"You're so wet baby, it's getting your jeans wet" I smirked and just stared at him with a mischievous glint in my eye.
"I'm always wet for you, baby boy" I allowed my hand to do the same his was doing to me but mine was more aggressive and I popped his cutoff's button open and just fished for his magic pole. "Well… someone is happy to see me" I said with a smile before taking it out. Jake had let some hisses and groans slip as his manhood stood up proudly in the air, allowing the cold air to touch his wet tip. "I missed you too, baby Jay" I said as I stroked it, all the time looking at my boyfriend's expressions.
"Babe… I'm driving" I giggled.
"I can see that baby. And I have my hand in your gearshift" I said with a grin, teasing him. He groaned at that and I let my tongue slip from my mouth and swipe the underside of his cock. He let one of his hands to tangle in my hair as I knew he needed me to blow him. The moment I felt him shaking, his hips struggling not to hump my face and his member elongating and hardening along with the tip flaring I knew I would be rewarded with a hot and salty treat.
It was hard for me to keep up with his spurting that seemed to be endless and so strong. By the time he finished, a bit had leaked my mouth, ran down my chin and his pants were slightly wet from the remnants of his milk. I gulped down the last bit and just cleaned it, quickly before he got hard again and raised my head.
Jake just stared at me lustfully. He pulled me in for a deep, passionate kiss and I knew that was a promise for later. I just cleaned up the trails of cum that remained in my face.
"Jeez Jake, hadn't you jerked off at all these four years? I swear that was such a big load I thought you had stored it until now" he just laughed.
"No babe, with my growth spurt came endless stamina, bigger members of my body and my load tripled" I widened my eyes.
"What? Baby, that almost flooded me. If I hadn't already been expecting a large load I would have drowned!" I exclaimed amused. He just cocked an eye brow and kissed me again.
"Babe, let's stop talking about my dick or he will get hard again and this time he won't calm down with just a blowjob" I bit my lip, getting horny thanks to his words. I just stared at his ripped body, the pecs and abs I could make out from the tightness of his shirt, his broad back and his huge muscles.
"By the way baby, what's up with the beach clothes and the whole 'I've been on steroids' look? Not that I am complaining. You look even hotter than before, and that was almost impossible" he just laughed at my mouth filter that seemed to be failing.
"Can't a boy just look good for his girlfriend?" he teasingly said. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes he can, but not when she is wearing cutoff shorts, flip flops and a flimsy white shirt that are suited for an 86 degree weather… but its almost 37 degrees instead. You should be freezing" he just shrugged.
"Did you feel my body heat? If I wear anything else I will roast" I narrowed my eyes.
"Jacob Black, what has happened these past four years and please don't say that you joined Sam's gang!" he tensed and stood rigid as a plank in his seat, driving almost robotically. My heart plummeted. "No… Jake tell me it's not true. You haven't become one of them! Please tell me you aren't!" I pleaded and just felt him separate a bit from me.
"Bella… you know nothing about it. Don't talk as if you did" he all but growled at me. I flinched and my eyes welled up with tears.
"Oh my God… not you too, please not you too…" I kept whispering as I pulled my legs up on the seat and burrowed my head in my knees. Soft sobs left my lips and I just shook. The silence and tension was thick an awkward and that slit a gash in my heart. I had never felt this with Jacob and we never had a tense moment even less a silent one.
By the time we got to La Push and to the Clearwater's house I ripped the door open and jumped from the high truck, grabbing my bags and walking quickly towards the house, not even sparing Jake a glance.
I knew I looked like a mess, hair disheveled and face all sticky with tear trails. I opened the door and just laid the bags on the floor. Charlie walked to the entrance and as soon as he saw me his face lit up in happiness and ran over to hug me. The moment I was held by my father in his arms I felt like a seven year old who thinks her daddy is like superman and can protect her from anything and everything. I knew he couldn't, I was aware of many evils in the world that my father couldn't protect me from but it didn't make me feel any less safe. The warmth and comfort of his embrace just made me start sobbing at the idea that the love of my life would be ripped from me due to the gods.
I felt the hairs in the nape of my neck stand on end and I knew it was Jacob that had entered the house. My father tensed the moment I started crying but soon relaxed and instead fussed over me trying to get me to calm down. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. I've been gone for 4 years, 4 years of close to zero drama and now… the first couple of hours here and my life is being turned upside down.
"Iz!" Leah was so happy to see me and I felt so bad that I was just crying and couldn't muster the strength to wipe my tears and just go over and hug her. "Charlie, what's wrong with her? Why is she crying?" she asked concerned. I felt so bad, my stomach churned as I just thought about everything that happened 4 years ago and today. 'You have to be strong Bella' I tried to calm my breathing and was just hiccupping due to the crying. Finally once I was calm enough I wiped my eyes and turned to her, smiling sadly, purposely avoiding the overgrown boy that was standing 3 feet from her. She frowned and walked to me hugging me tight.
"I missed you so much. So, so much, Iz. Why are you crying? What's wrong?" I just shook my head and told her if we could go for a walk. She hesitantly nodded and I told her to go ahead and I'd be there in a second. Running over to my father, whispering a simple 'Don't worry… I'll be fine' and kissing him on the cheek I ran back outside. Even with my back to the entrance I could still feel Jake's gaze on me, even if I knew he couldn't see me.
"Jacob, I don't want to speak or see you right now. Please go back to your pack!" I all but spat before catching up to Leah who I knew was deliberately acting as if she didn't hear a thing. I would tell her in a few minutes.
I am aware that I probably seem crazy and bipolar and probably over reacting but I couldn't help but feel panic at the idea. Jake didn't know I was imprinted, I never told him because I thought I didn't care (which might be an overstatement) but now I knew he would know and he would freak and I would be alone. My heart clenched at the idea of my Jake leaving me.
We began walking in silence towards First beach, where we knew none of the natives would be just because it was the one most visited by tourists.
"So… back after 4 years and not even a smile on that pretty face" I turned to Leah with a sour smile.
"Yeah… the smile lasted 15 minutes… then it disappeared" I said with amusement before grabbing her hand and squeezing. "What has happened Leah?" she let out a deep sigh.
"He isn't the only one that has phased, girlie. Now the pack isn't only Sam, Paul and Jared… The youngest kids have begun to show signs of phasing. Colin and Brady are members of the pack, little Seth too, Quil, Embry, Jake… myself" I tensed immediately and just looked at her in horror.
"NO… Leah no. Why you! Only men are supposed to do it!" she plopped down on the piece of white driftwood. I sat down on the sand and just laid my back against the wood.
"So many things have changed… so many people have changed in those small four years that it's almost impossible to remember all of the things and tell you" I stayed quiet and just listened to the waves breaking. "Sam and Emily will get married in two months" she said, trying to keep her voice from breaking. I turned to her and saw her eyes fill with tears and I felt my own blur because of the same thing. "I missed you so much. It was so hard, to have phased at the news of Sam and Emily getting engaged… I phased in my living room! In my living room! I caused my father a heart attack! I killed my father! I was hurting so bad, Iz… and you weren't here… and whenever I was about to pick up the phone and call you to vent… to tell you about everything that was going on.. I got cold feet and would end up sobbing.
"I am close to hated in the pack. Well... probably just severely disliked since I'm so bitter… because the stupid imprint ruined my life, as the stupid legends and our freak of a heritage ruined my life, my dreams, my chances, me! It made me so mad… so furious when I heard from Jared how you rejected your imprint and left, you stayed with Jake and just continued with your dreams… it showed me how much you loved Jake… but Sam didn't love me enough to fight for me and even Emily didn't love me enough to leave us happy and together" I clenched my fists tight as the tears ran down my cheeks and sat up in the driftwood, beside her, bringing her head to lay on my chest and I just tried to calm down.
"I missed you too Lee. God! I can't believe I wasn't here to help you through that! I can't believe you didn't call me! You could've come with me, Harvard is so varied… with the amount of wolves they have I think they could have spared you. I missed you and Sethy and Jake so much. And Sue! And Harry! And Dad…! I can't believe they dragged you into that" I just rubbed her back soothingly, letting her sob on me. My heart ached as if something had pierced it. We stayed that way for about an hour, just breathing and holding onto each other.
Leah and Jacob had been my best friends during all of my childhood. Renée had left Forks with me when I was eight years old and that first summer-break I went to visit my father. My mother hadn't been happy with the idea and tried to fight me every step of the way. Three days after I got to Forks I got the news that Renée had committed suicide. I found out through her psychiatrist that the day before committing suicide she was diagnosed as bipolar and manic depressive. Who knows what went through her mind, perhaps that I loved my dad more… or I don't know, but she killed herself. Renée's sister sent me my stuff back to Forks and I was permanently stuck with my father, fact which didn't bother me one bit.
Jacob, Leah, Seth and I had met through Charlie, Harry and Billy. Before Sarah, Billy's wife, died and Billy broke his lower vertebrae's and was stuck in a wheelchair. We met when Jake was three, Leah was four and I was five. Seth at the time was a year old baby and couldn't join us to play until he was five. Us three, later four, were inseparable. Whenever someone looked for one of us they would already know to look for the other three or two and they would find us.
We would make mud pies, paint, run, and swim, prank others… We would always play house, I would be the mother, Leah the daughter and Jake was the father, who would later have to fight with Seth to remain as the father.
Jake says that was when he fell in love with me. I fell in love with him when we were ten and he had brought over for me a bouquet of flowers for valentines and a ring woven from clovers. When I was sixteen and he was fourteen he asked me to become his girlfriend and I agreed. We have been going strong since then… until today.
"Do you feel better?" I asked softly as I felt her shoulders just heave occasionally due to the past strength of the sobs. She raised her head and smiled softly at me.
"Yes. I really, really missed you Iz. Jake did too" I smiled at that.
"I really missed you guys too" she shook her head and just hugged me.
"Sorry! Silly me! Congratulations on your graduation! I can't believe you are a political science major! You could run for a political spot!" we both laughed at the idea.
"Yeah, maybe I could be mayor. That would be so fun!" I said jokingly. "Nah, did I tell you I'm considering complementing it with law school?" she tensed.
"You can't leave again" she said warningly. I just laughed.
"If I do it I won't go all the way to Massachussets for it. Maybe just a course in UW" Leah sighed in relief.
"Yeah, I was about to kick your ass if you thought to go back to Harvard and leave us here" I just laughed.
"Nah. I missed you guys too much to just up and leave like that" I said as I sat down against the driftwood instead of on it and Leah followed my drift, doing the same. "So, what else has changed?" she looked up pensively.
"Uh… well… I like Charlie. He is nice to mom and almost like another Dad so he is cool… Seth really likes him. He goes now and then with Charlie and Billy fishing. For some strange reason the boy likes catching fish" she said with a hint of laughter in her tone of voice. I just stared at her incredulous until I couldn't take it anymore and burst laughing.
"Almost all the boys have girls… except for... you know… Paul" I cocked an eyebrow at this.
"All the guys?" she just nodded.
"Embry and Anna… one of the girls from the rez, Quil has imprinted on a two year old baby, Colin and Brady have Bethany and Chloe also rez girls, Jake has you, Seth and Raven, Sam and Emily… and-" I motioned for her to continue. She seemed very hesitant until she finally blurted it out. "Jared and Kim" I felt a pang of pain in my chest but ignored it.
"Cool… I just hope they won't pull off a Sam" I said bitterly. God I hated Sam, I hated him so much for everything he put Leah through. Leah smiled sadly.
"Yeah, that's why I haven't gotten a boyfriend. You would have thought they had learnt after Sam but… at least the youngest ones are more careful and have kept a distance with the girls who don't really come over too much and they just see every now and then. Seth is not serious at all with Raven, and she isn't either, the bitch is cheating on my brother… but he knows and doesn't really care. He says it's better. Colin and Brady.. well.. they have like… 'girlfriends'" she used air quotes for this and continued. "They say they are too young to really have girlfriends but they bring them food so they let them say they are their boyfriends" I nodded at this with a smile.
"Those two are really sneaky" I just said with a small laugh which she followed.
"Yeah. They just care about food. Then there's Jake who is the only one who feels secure in his relationship because he knows you are fighting for him and even fought your imprint for him" I just smiled sadly at this.
"So he knows" Leah turned to me and nodded.
"Yeah. He found out by accident. He was angry one day because Billy was telling him he shouldn't take your relationship so seriously. So Jake phased for the first time as he was being watched by Paul and Embry and at the moment Sam and Jared were patrolling and talking about Emily and you so Jake found out you were Jared's imprint. He was so shocked and at the beginning he was furious. That was the week that you couldn't reach him and Billy said he was sick. Paul and Embry couldn't calm him down enough and then Sam and Jared tried but they couldn't either and Jared ended up with a bite in the scruff of his neck. He knew he was really lucky because Jake could have bit his neck and given him a worse wound. Jake didn't phase back for a week, not because he couldn't but because he wouldn't. Later on Paul talked to him and explained everything that had happened with you since he is your other best friend besides Jake and me and he had witnessed it all. That was when Jake called you back saying he had an awful stomach bug and that he was better now. He felt so happy to know that you completely rejected the imprint" I just smiled at that, albeit painfully.
"About that…" Leah turned to me curiously.
"No… nothing. It doesn't really matter" I said shrugging. She stared at me with a raised eyebrow. "Well… he hasn't been… sick…. right? Or anything? Dying? Like they said would happen to a wolf whose imprint rejected him?" she looked thoughtful.
"Well… I didn't phase for a while after you had left and all that had happened. From what I learnt from the pack mind he was sad for a while but he seems fine now… not like he is dying or anything…" she said after being silent for a few minutes. I just nodded and sighed in relief.
"I just… I hope Jacob will reject his imprint when the time comes" I said with another sigh. Leah looked at me incredulously.
"Of course he will! That boy worships the ground you walk on! He loves you. I don't think the imprint will be able to tame that love" I nodded.
"I hope so" I said simply before I stood up and brushed the sand off my butt and gave Leah a hand to get up. She smiled and took it before standing up and hugging me tight.
"I missed you, silly girl. Come on, let's go… you need to apologize to Jake" I looked at her wide eyed and unbelieving.
"What? Are you crazy? It is not my fault he reacted that way! He had enough time to let me know he had phased too and he didn't! Then he treated me like a stranger when I talked to him about it and he KNEW what had happened with Jared and the pack so I DO know about it and he shouldn't have treated me that way. But whatever, I won't apologize. He will have to come begging and ask me for my forgiveness because he was a world class asshole" Leah looked at me disapprovingly. I mirrored her look and just began walking up the beach and towards the village. She followed me and just sighed loudly.
"Come on, let's go back… but not by the main road" I glared at her.
"Why?" I asked as we were walking in the main road already.
"Just trust me, hurry" I looked at her with a curious look before turning to follow but then I heard a voice I hadn't heard in over 4 years and had haunted my dreams.
"Bella?" he almost whispered and I just froze in my tracks while Leah groaned. I began walking quickly going down the alternate path, Leah having stopped began walking with me but I could hear the running set of steps and just tried to run, Leah catching up to me easily.
"You do know they are wolves and have an ability to run faster than you, right?" she tried to whisper as I ran full sprint (and she barely jogged) over to the Clearwater house or simply loose them. I felt an arm grab mine and I was pulled back against a hard chest. I stiffened at the feel of him and his scent. He turned me around and looked at me angrily.
"Why did you run?" he demanded. I just stared at him indifferently.
"Because I didn't want to talk to assholes" I simply stated with an almost inhuman growl. He seemed taken aback. "Now let me go before Jacob finds out you were touching me" he glared.
"He knows you're not really his. You are mine. You are my imprint" he rasped in an attempt to calm down.
"Well… this imprint rejected your ass so I am NOT yours, asshole" he whined softly.
"Jared, no offense… but this is not the way to get Bella to accept you. Hell, even to like you" Leah said with an irritated tone. Jared just turned to her and growled. I glared at him then.
"Don't growl at her! I don't care that you shapeshift into wolves but you're not a dog and you won't growl at my best friend!" I all but screeched in indignation. Leah just stifled her laughter.
"Leah stop" I recognized the Alpha timbre in Sam's voice and just turned to glare at him.
"And you! You enormous jackass! You should burn in the deepest pits of hell. I can't believe that you were such an asshole to Leah. I don't care if Emily was your imprint but from what I gather you didn't even try to fight for her! I'm glad you're not with Leah anymore, you don't deserve her! You definitely do deserve Emily, though. A bitch and an asshole" I heard the deep rumbling in Sam's chest at the fact that I was insulting his imprint. But I was too far gone to stop now. "I guess there is no helping a weak-willed person, even less a traitor!" I just saw his jaw twitch and his form blurring. "OH isn't this great! The oh almighty Alpha known for his self-control. Mr. Pity-me-Pity-me! Uuuuh, I phased on my own and no one helped me... I suffered for two weeks while all the other wolves had me to help! Seriously! Get over yourself! You make me sick!" and then he snapped, I backed up around… a meter… or so, and he phased, growling. Then Jared phased and got between Sam and me all while I was walking in the same direction I was going before the two douches caught up to us. Leah just ran to catch up with me and looked at me wide-eyed.
"Did you seriously just do that?" I shrugged.
"He's an ass and he deserves it" Leah didn't say anything while we just walked calmly towards her house.
"You were kind of harsh there" she finally broke the ice and I just scoffed.
"He deserves it. Everyone has always pitied him so he thinks he has had such an awful life. Deal with it! Everyone has sucky lives, we just go through different stuff. It's not like he is the only shape shifter and even less the first one ever. I'm sure your ancestors went through worse" she just sighed.
"Yeah, but you didn't have to undermine him. Even if I don't like him and have a grudge on him he is a good alpha and has been nice to everyone"
"Pfft. Yeah. Sure. Alpha orders and what not. I'm sure he would benefit out of leadership courses" Leah sighed again.
"You've become slightly intense" was all she said. I turned to look at her with a cocked eyebrow.
"Yeah. I have. I am about to lose my imprint, there is a chance that my four best friends might die fighting vampires, my almost sister was screwed over by her fiancée with her other best friend, Jake probably will imprint and not be able to fight it, Uncle Harry died… want me to keep going? 'Cause I can"
"I'm not complaining. Just saying. You used to be calmer and more shy" I shrugged.
"Harvard is a harsh place" ok.. so maybe saying that my life on campus was almost drama free is an overstatement… but it certainly is more calm when you compare it to life here in La Push with shapeshifters, romantic drama, fights, imprints… you name it.
"Come on. We're home and mom will want to know what happened before Billy and Old Quil come bouncing in to scold you" I laughed.
"Well, it isn't like I can't take care of myself" I said as I walked in the house only to be pulled back by strong arms into the very hard chest of my boyfriend. "Ouch… You're too rock solid to think that won't hurt me…" I said jokingly as I turned to look at him only to see his angry expression. "Jake?" he didn't say anything and just glared, holding onto both my arms. "Jake. Let go, you're hurting me" he wouldn't. I tried to get free of his hold and he only tightened it.
"Jacob, let her go! Can't you see you're hurting her!" Leah tried to reason with him while a whimper left my lips.
"Jake please…." I just saw a fist fly by and saw it connect with Jake's face and saw him fall down, glaring at my savior. I turned to Paul who smiled softly at me before turning to him with a furious gaze.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you asshole! If you don't remember, she is human and can't stand too much strength. What are you thinking?" I had just backed into Leah who was looking over my arms to see fresh bruises. I just stared at Jacob, hurt. He stood up and stared at me directly.
"I told you things weren't as simple as they seemed right? Stop treating the rest like dirt! Sam doesn't deserve it! And neither does Jared! This being a 'werewolf' thing wasn't something we chose to do, it wasn't voluntary and it definitely wasn't something we were aware of until it happened! It may be easy for you to reject an imprint but it definitely isn't easy for the wolf, Sam and Jared have a hard time. I probably will too if I imprint. So stop seeing everything in black and white and insulting people because they aren't like you" I stared at him gaping and the hurt I felt before in the day multiplied endlessly. Eventually I just grew numb and finally nodded.
"You're right, Jake. Truth is, I don't want to fight with you so… if you feel that way then… we should be over. You should go meet your imprint so you don't have a hard time fighting it" I stared at him and saw him impassive. A slow nod on my part signaled my continuation. "Ok. Then yeah, if that's what you want…. we're over Jake" I just turned around and headed in the house with Leah hot on my heels followed by Paul.
As soon as I entered the house and my father saw me he stopped talking with Sue and stood up.
"Sweetheart? What's wrong?" I shook my head and just wiped the tears that fell.
"Can we leave?" Dad nodded immediately and just looked at Sue for a second who nodded almost immediately, as well.
It would have been funny in other circumstances to see everyone so quiet and all acting like baby ducks following me to the car. No one said anything and I just looked out the window as I got in the patrol car. Leah had sat next to me and just held my hand and Paul sat on the other side, my legs resting on his lap as I leaned my head on his shoulders and he just stroked my hair.
The car ride was too silent.