The French Mistake : Bizarro World
I do not own the world of Supernatural or any of its inhabitants.
"I don't know what's wrong," Cas muttered. Again, he tried to teleport himself and the actors to another location, but found he could not. Had his powers been stripped away, or was someone merely suppressing them?
Suddenly, six men and women dressed in black suits appeared. It was Ouriel, along with five of Raphael's warriors. The had positioned themselves between the door and windows.
"You're not going anywhere with them, Castiel," Ouriel said menacingly. "Raphael wants the key, now!"
Jensen glanced over at Jared, who nodded to Cas. Both men swung at the angels nearest to them.
While Jared was wrestling with one the creatures, Jensen was being thrown across the room by an unseen force. He hit the wall, hard enough to crack the paint. His senses reeled from the blow to his head.
Castiel had the advantage, using his angel blade on one of his brothers, then another. He was hit from behind, as a blade entered his side at an angle, resulting in a glancing blow. Slightly more than a deep scratch, he whirled around to stab his attacking sister.
Jared was knocked down flat to the floor, and saw the tip of a blade coming straight down at his chest. The arm holding the blade was blocked by another arm, and the deadly weapon was diverted. Castiel used his own blade on the dark-haired sister standing over the fake Sam, as he murmured an 'I'm sorry'. It pained him inside that he had to kill his own kind.
Only Ouriel and another sister, Darian, remained.
"Give us the key, Castiel!" he said, defiantly. He was not afraid of his brother nor the humans who sided with him. "Raphael may yet show you mercy, if you cooperate."
"I can't do that, Ouriel, you know that."
"This isn't finished. You've been fortunate up to now. Your good luck will fail you eventually, and you will die a slow death, as an example to any who would defy Raphael's leadership."
With that final threat, both angels vanished.
"That was too easy," Castiel remarked, frowning. What else did Raphael have up his sleeve?
"Easy! You call that easy?" Jensen tried to rise, and had to be helped by a solicitous Jared. He rubbed his head, wincing at the sharp pain he felt.
"You ok, man?" Jared asked.
Jensen smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm great, for someone who just got tossed around like a rag doll."
Jared smiled. "You'll live." Turning to Castiel, he started to ask him a question, when he was interrupted by the appearance of Balthazar.
"Well, hello there, gentlemen." The semi-rebellious angel looked much better, after his recent injury. And he seemed excited about something.
"You always have a knack for turning up when the fighting's over." Jared frowned at Balthazar, who smoothly ignored him.
"You two have got to get back home, before Ouriel returns, and with reinforcements."
Jensen snapped his fingers. "I knew it! You did see us fighting, and you didn't even bother to help us." He wondered why Cas wasn't a bit more put out by the absence of any assistance by his brother.
Balthazar reacted, speaking slowly as if to a child. "Yes, of course, since I am the only way for you boys to leave this world. If I had been killed, you'd be stuck here for the rest of your lives. Now if you prefer that..."
"No!" both men shouted.
"Alright then, let's get started." The angel spread out various items on a table that sat in the room.
Castiel finally spoke up. "Balthazar, if you are successful in returning these actors to their own world, will the real Sam and Dean return here?"
"I'm not sure. But if a way appears for them, we can only hope they're at the right place at the right time. I can't imagine what might happen if both sets of men existed on the same plane at the same time. It could create all sorts of universal paradoxes."
"What do you mean, Balthazar?" Castiel demanded.
The angel shrugged. "Well, one or both pairs may cease to exist."
"What?" Jensen wasn't too happy to hear this. He looked at Jared, who was not having success in concealing his own anger.
"I had not planned on having any Dean and Sam wanna-be's showing up in this world, so how am I supposed to know what will happen when I return you two back to where ever in the hell you came from? May as well try it." With that he mumbled some words while lighting the contents of a small bowl. The contents flared, and a noxious odor filled the room.
"Waitwaitwait!" cried both Jensen and Jared, as they felt their bodies, first being pulled apart, then snapping back again.
Jared found himself lying on the ground, next to an unconscious Jensen. Rising up on his knees, he tried to shake the fog from his brain. "Jensen, hey, wake up."
The other man roused slowly, and forced himself to stand. He wavered slightly, before gaining his balance. "..s cool, got it, man."
They looked around to find themselves in the middle of a stunned production crew.
"We're back," whispered Jared.
Looking around their surroundings, Jensen agreed with a hearty 'whoohoo'. He smiled and turned to Jared, impulsively hugging him.
Jared returned the hug with some back clapping included. "We're real. We didn't fade away. We're home!"
All the while, everyone around them couldn't believe their eyes or ears. The two stars of the show were actually talking to each other, and more than that, seemed genuinely friendly about it.
An older man left his chair, and went to the two exuberant stars he felt he would never understand. "Are you both through holding up production? First, you act like you don't even know your jobs, now, like you just came back from a party. And I don't mean a dinner party. If either of you have been snorting anything..."
"No, Bob, it's nothing like that. We're just..." Jared started.
"Glad to be home!" Jensen finished.
"Home! You both know you blew the scene, right?" Turning to his crew, he yelled out, "Get everything reset for one more take. And let's get it right this time."
Jared and Jensen were busy laughing and talking, before realizing they really needed to speak with their wives.
"Be right back, Bob," said Jensen, as he and Jared went to their respective trailers to call Danneel and Genevieve, leaving behind a sputtering Bob Singer.
"Well, alright, but be back here in five minutes. I mean that! Five minutes!" He shook his head. Those two had finally flipped, and it would be his job to make sure they completed this week's filming. He felt like quitting and heading for Tahiti, and never talking with any actors ever again. "Come on, get this set up and running!"
Jensen had called Dani and told her how much he had missed and loved her. He realized that, even though it had been days for him, it had only been hours for her. Apparently, Balthazar sent them back to just shortly after they had been pulled away. They hadn't missed much time at all. Shades of A Christmas Carol. He smiled as he closed the phone, and headed out to Jared's trailer. He knocked on the door and opening it, stepped inside just as Jared was telling Genevieve that he loved her.
Jared turned at the sound of his door opening to see Jensen standing there, waiting. He waggled his eyebrows at him and grinned. "Yeah, love you too, babe. See ya later."
Closing his own phone, he turned to his co-star, and said, "We made it back. We're real. Everything here is...real!" He exhaled a sigh of relief.
Jensen nodded. "But did it really happen?"
"Of course, it happened. Didn't it? I mean, I remember it all vividly."
"I guess. And since there is no other Dean or Sam here, the real ones must have been sent back to their world at the same time we appeared here. It's like no one even knew we were gone. Isn't that how it always happens on TV?"
"Right. Well, I am not questioning any of it. I just hope the real Winchesters manage the angels better than we did." Jared ran his hand through his hair.
"They do," Jensen said with conviction. "Didn't you read next week's script?" He clapped the taller man on the back, saying, "Let's get back to the set before Bob has an aneurysm."
Filming was completed for the day, with both Jensen and Jared fitting back in with ease. After all, there were actors. If they managed to fit into the real Supernatural world, why not their own.
Bob Singer seemed happy to see his stars performing better, and behaving like professionals. They were hitting their marks and saying the lines as written.
When the crew had dispersed to other areas of the warehouse that held the various sets of the show, Jensen and Jared decided to wait a bit, until all was quiet. They sat on some steps, silent.
Jared broke the silence. "You know, I just tried to order some take out to be delivered home, and my credit cards are all maxed out. Who the hell's been using my cards?" He thought about it, and came to a conclusion within seconds. It was obvious. It had to be the real Sam Winchester. But what was he buying with his cards? The script, J, he told himself squeamishly. Body parts.
"Some of mine are maxed out already, so no biggie," Jensen chuckled.
"It's all those damn toys you buy, dude. Need to watch the budget." Jared never got why any grown man would want a remote-controlled helicopter.
Jensen stopped listening to Jared when he noticed movement off in the dark. It seemed the set had not emptied, and someone had stayed behind. That was not cool. "Hey! You there, the set has been cleared. You need to leave."
Jared stood, looking off in the direction Jensen was yelling. He saw a man wearing a dark coat.
"Hey, who are you, anyway?" Jared demanded of the obviously confused man in black. He followed close behind Jensen, who went after the man.
" I am Virgil, the Lord's Weapons Keeper." He glanced from one human to the other. These were the men who had interfered with his plans, the Winchesters. But no, they felt...wrong. Different. He had left his universe at the same time, but didn't know that the two actors had been returned earlier. Thus, he didn't know that these were not the real Dean and Sam Winchester.
"So..." Jensen began, thinking if the weekly script ran close to the one they lived, then this was a real honest-to-goodness angel. His hackles were up now. "I have had it! You think you and your angel friends can just run roughshod over anyone they want, not even caring about the consequences?" He turned to Jared, scowling. "Who would have thought that angels could be douchebags." He sounded like Dean, and found he liked it. It felt empowering. "You are so dead, man."
"Jensen..." Jared wanted to slow things down. The guy wasn't an angel anymore, not really. He was as human as they were now, therefore defenseless. They couldn't just kill him, but then, they couldn't let him go free either. And calling the police was out. Who would believe their story?
"If things go by the script, this joker kills Misha," Jensen hissed.
Jared shrugged. "So? Oh, yeah, no, ok." He remembered that they were going to try to be nicer to Misha.
Jensen ignored the taller man, and took a swing at the angel, making contact with his face. Jensen groaned as grabbed his hand. This was not like TV. That had hurt! But he took another swing, which was blocked by Virgil, who back-handed Jensen senseless.
Jared, seeing his friend swaying, jumped onto the angel's back, in an attempt to pull him away from Jensen. The two fell to the ground, rolling over as each tried to get the advantage.
Jensen reached down and grabbed Virgil by the collar, pulling him off Jared. While he held the angel, Jared swung at his face hard, making contact as he heard a snap. Jensen had let go when Jared swung, so the body slipped to the ground in a heap.
"Great, so now what do we do?" Jared started to panic.
"Dump him somewhere miles from here."
"God, is he dead?" Jared asked.
Jensen checked for a pulse, and found one. "He's ok, just out. Come on, help me get him into Mike's truck."
The pair picked up the unconscious angel, who was dead weight. Both men grunted under that weight.
They reached the set truck driven by Mike Evans. Whenever the set moved to location shooting, the truck was used to carry various pieces of equipment. Mike usually kept the keys in the cab, hidden under the mat. Sure enough, Jared found them there.
The actors placed the angel in the back, and drove off. They headed down the freeway, and pulled off onto a dirt road where they had filmed some outdoor scenes a couple years ago.
"Here?" Jared asked his companion.
"Why not? If he comes round, he'll have to find a way out of here, on foot. And he won't know where he was, or how to get back. If he dies, well, it couldn't be helped."
Jared shook his head. Jensen was right, and hadn't they only recently dealt with things that were bad, just like in the show. But letting anyone die...
They dumped the angel into a gravel pit. It was difficult, but necessary. It would be the only time they'd do something like this, both knew, since magic, angels and demons weren't real here. If the man lived to tell anyone who he was, they'd lock him away for being crazy. After all, what do you say to someone who says he's an angel?
"We're hunters, now, man," Jensen said, seeing the doubt in his friend's eyes.
"No, we're not." But Jared followed his co-star back to the truck.
Later, they stood leaning against the truck.
"Wouldn't it be cool to meet the real Winchesters?" Jensen said.
Jared couldn't believe how much his friend seemed to be missing that other world. "No, I think the universe would explode or something."
"You're probably right. Hey, we'd better get home to the wives."
Both men went to their respective cars. Turning to each other one more time, they smiled.
"You're ok, for a Sasquatch."
"Yeah, you are too, Rocky." Jared grinned, referring to the nickname the scripted demon Crowley had given Dean.
Tomorrow would be another day of filming, but from now on, things would be very different.
Sorry if this has been ignored, then ended. I hate leaving stories hanging, and I have two others plus a new inspiration to start. I hope the ending was ok. I like to think our actor boys learned something by their adventure. Funny how the real Dean and Sam never refer to their adventure in the real world. Thank you for reading.