This fanfiction contains few grammatical errors and a lot of humour, so please be ready to laugh your head off. Viewer discretion is advised. Rated T
Naruto ©Masashi Kishimoto
Funhouse © Pink
Plot © KyleCynthia
Prologue: It started with a bad bet...
Saturday, 14th January
I dance around this empty house
Tear us down, throw you out
Screaming down the halls
Spinning all around and now we fall
Frustration. Anger. Confusion. Exhaustion. Those were the emotions swirling in Sakura's head like a tornado, as the 20 year old rosette woke up in a room that seemed familiar but was not hers. It was hard to think straight when you're suffering from a hangover. Nevertheless, Sakura was determined to remember every detail of what happened last night. She was sure that it has something to do with Ino, a bet and alcohol… a lot of alcohol.
But that was it, her mind was blank and not to mention hurting like hell. She looked around the room only to find a closet, a study table with a laptop on it and a chair. Groaning, Sakura stood up and inspected the laptop further. A paper was attached to it saying "Turn on the laptop (password: honeybunch07), then open the file labeled 'SAKURA READ ME' and watch the video labeled 'MISSION IMPOSIBLE'. There is a bottle of water and aspirin in closet. Have fun, Ino xoxoxo"
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Because Ino is sly when it comes to scheming things, you should know by now that you are always the number one victim when it comes to Ino's plans.
Ugh, my head hurts I don't have the energy to fight with you right now, so just shut it.
Sakura hoped that the video will explain how she ended up sleeping in this house but deep inside her she knew that her best friend had something up her sleeve. She prayed that it didn't involve cleaning boys' toilets like last time, or worse going to a blind date. After turning the laptop on she walked towards the cabinet and opened it. Only to be caught off guard, the cabinet was filled with ruffled maid outfits.
Her head was aching too much to be shocked so she grudgingly took the tablets and swallowed them with water. She had a faint idea what awaits her this day, and she's not happy about it. The equation Ino plus dresses with ruffles plus strange house is usually equal to a nuclear explosion according to Sakura. And she would bet hundred dollars that there is a boy in this house whom Sakura has to serve in a, gulp, maid outfit.
A sigh escaped the rosette's lips as she took another sip of water and reminisce of her best friend's attempt to get Sakura a love life. It all began when she began dating in High School. Because of Ino's attached status, Sakura ended up being alone most of the time. And thus, Cupid Ino was born together with Sakura's misery. The blond tried everything; she set Sakura up with almost every guy in their school!
Everything calmed down when Cupid ran out of boys to set Sakura up with. Apparently, Ino felt bad having a happy relationship with a guy while her best friend was all alone. The rosette then told her best friend that she was ok with it and that she found other friends to hang out with like Hinata who was also single. Besides, Sakura stated, I like mature men not the boys in our age.
At last, everything was alright in the world, with Hinata at her side; the rosette enjoyed her peaceful third year in Konoha High. Until Hinata got together with Naruto in the first semester of their last year of high school that is. As soon as Ino got wind of the news, Cupid came back again and she was more determined than ever. Taking Sakura's preference in mind, she searched College guys just for her 'beloved' friend. She even set her up with her own teachers for goodness sake!
Ever since that day, Ino was most determined to see her best friend in the arm of a man. Year after year, her attempt became more bold and ridiculous. None of them was successful though which just made Ino more determined. Nothing worried the blonde more than her best friend being a NBSB* at the age of twenty. On the other hand Sakura didn't mind being single. With her parents being divorced when she was seven, she knew better than dreaming of a fairytale love story.
Sakura sat on the chair and clicked on the video. She was not surprised to see Ino's smiling face on the screen. Ino waved at her and began to speak.
'Good Morning, Forehead! I hope you had sweet dreams'
Oh they were sweet alright, because it involved killing you, slowly and painfully.
'So, my dear, I bet you're wondering how you got there so this is what happened last night. You, me and Hinata went to a Bar. And then you and I had this drinking competition and you lost. And during the middle of the competition I suggested that we made a bet. If you win I will stop being your cupid forever. You agreed, not even listening to the consequence. And viola, you lost.'
Note to myself, do not go out drinking with Ino, no scratch that, don't go drinking ever again.
'So, here's the consequence. You are now in a mansion filled with gorgeous boys -'
'…and your job is to be their maid for the whole weekend-'
'…while wearing those cute costumes I got for you!'
'Aren't you excited? You are bound to fall in love with one of them! Oh, you are so lucky you have such a good friend like me. What would you do without me? Anyways have fun, and go get em girl! And, Sakura, don't even think of escaping, I made sure to inform everyone in the house to not reveal your current location, and I even got rid of every map. Ahahahaha!'
Several veins threatened to burst out of anger. Her face took a tomato red shade. It took every ounce of self control to keep her from hitting the laptop. She stood up, took the pillow and yelled in it instead. After the outburst, Sakura was still emitting a large dose of rage, so she kicked the closet with all her might. Wrong decision, the cabinet was hard as steel and only made Sakura yelp in pain.
'Oh, I almost forgot…'
Sakura turned her face to the laptop, seems like Ino's message to her wasn't finished yet.
'It's only fair that I introduce you to the guys you will serve for the next 48 hours. After all they know everything about their lovely new maid, if you know what I mean.' At the last part Ino, winked mischievously at Sakura.
'So there are ten good looking guys in the mansion. I'll start with the ones in front of your room, Sasori Akasuna and Deidara Katsuseki. Both of them are genius in Chemistry. Sasori prefers to deal with poisons and such while Deidara likes explosion. And yes, before you ask, he is my cousin. In fact you met him before; he was present in my last birthday party. Both of you talked a bit, I think.'
'Anyway moving on…The guys next to you are Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki. You know Itachi too, remember Sasuke's older brother? Kisame is his best friend and beware of his strength. Nagato and Yahiko Togu are next to Sasori and Deidara. Those two are brothers both currently studying Business. The room right next to them belongs to Zetsu Harashima and Tobi Uchiha. Zetsu studying agriculture and boy he's weird…and Tobi is Itachi's cousin, you know him.'
'And last but not least, Hidan Gottman and Kakuzu Okane. Kakuzu sole obsession is money; it's no wonder that he's studying accounting in College. Hidan is half German and if I'd get five cents every time he swears, I would be a millionaire. That's all. And please Sakura, please, please pick one of them to be your boyfriend. I considered your entire request.'
'Are they older than you? Check. IQ that's above average? Check. Good looking? Double Check. So please don't let this go to waste! There's a folder under the laptop, you will find a blue print of the house, the list of chores you need to do and also more information about the guys. Have fun! I love you so much! '. Ino made flying kisses gesture and the video ended.
Sakura stared at the screen, her brain still trying to comprehend everything that happened. Did Ino just made her worst nightmare come true? Did her best friend just proved to her that yesterday, Friday 13th was a day filled with bad luck? Did Ino left her in the middle of nowhere with not just one but ten guys? Did her former best friend think Sakura should be thankful for what she did?
So many questions, and sadly the answer of every single one of them is yes. Her headache was slowly fading and everything seemed so clear to Sakura. There is a solution to her problem. It's so easy! Why didn't she think of it many years ago? She could have just murdered Ino and threw her corpse in the lake! No one would have noticed and everyone would be happy.
…Ok that's not really the solution, but Sakura is seriously considering murdering Ino. She stretched and sighed at the same time. Out of curiosity she took the folder under the laptop and scanned them. She was impressed by the guys' achievements and the chores she had to do weren't that hard. Delighted to find her bag under the table, Sakura inhaled deeply. In her bag were some extra clothes, so that she won't have to run around in that maid get up.
There is nothing I can do about this. I'm already here… I might as well make the best out of my time…
Those were her thoughts as she opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
*NBSB = No Boyfriend Since Birth
So what do you guys think? This was actually a draft for ShelbySabaku's Contest but I couldn't make it in time...Please R&R. Constructive Criticism is much appreciated.