I do not own Glee, and if I did, it would basically just be Klaine. All the time.
That said, I've been reading insane amounts of Kurtbastian fic recently and then this happened.
I hope you enjoy it, and feedback is much appreciated :)
The title, and chapter headings come from the song Broken Open by Adam Lambert.
In retrospect, Kurt going to the Lima Bean right after Blaine split up with him was a turning point. At the time, it was nothing more than a convenient excuse to get out of the house. But more on that later. First, there is the break up itself.
Blaine had been different for weeks, and Kurt had noticed, of course he had. He was Blaine's boyfriend- it was his job to notice. It had taken him a while; at first when Blaine had stopped wanting to hold his hand, or kiss him in public, Kurt had ignored it. He had put it down to Blaine being insecure, and hadn't pushed the issue.
It wasn't until Blaine didn't want to do those things in private that Kurt began to get worried.
Justifiably worried, as it happened, because, one Saturday morning Blaine had come to Kurt's house, and told him that he was breaking up with him.
Kurt didn't really hear the rest of the speech. It wasn't until Blaine looked at him, and begged him to just say something that Kurt had finally spoken.
'I think you should go.' Kurt had whispered.
Blaine had nodded silently, and left.
To clarify- Kurt hadn't intended to end up at the Lima Bean. It had just happened; he had left the house, and had driven without really having the coffee shop as a fixed destination from the outset. The hot coffee regrettably did nothing to spur feeling back into him, and even after spending literally hours staring at the post on his newsfeed that read Blaine Anderson has gone from being "in a relationship" to being "single" Kurt hadn't yet cried. He wanted to cry, for closure, for the sake of feeling something, and because wasn't that what you were supposed to do after a break up? All he could do was feel faintly sick.
Kurt hadn't meant to end up at the Lima Bean, but he did. And so, by coincidence, did one Sebastian Smythe.
If Kurt had been able to cry, if he had gone anywhere but the Lima Bean, then it would have been a break up like any other. An end, a failure, a mistake. Nothing good would have come of it. But, on that rainy April afternoon, Kurt Hummel really, really needed a coffee, and so a simple, if upsetting, parting of ways became much, much more than that. It became a beginning, a chance, and just a tiny sliver of hope.
Kurt's coffee has gone cold. He looks at it forlornly, and decides that today really can't get any worse.
'Did the nasty coffee cup offend you, Gay Face?' asks a mocking tone from behind him.
It is Sebastian- the only thing that could make the day worse. Kurt wonders why life hates him today.
'What do you want, Sebastian?' Kurt groans, without turning around. 'The smell of sleaze is starting to make me feel sick, and I really don't want to put up with your company.'
'Where's the gay hobbit?' Sebastian asks, sidling around the table to sit down opposite Kurt.
'At home, I guess.' Kurt replies stiffly. If Sebastian doesn't know about Blaine's new status as a single man, he sure as hell isn't going to be the one to tell him.
'Trouble in paradise?'
'Look.' Kurt glares at him, but his heart isn't really in it. 'I'm really not in the mood for you today, so you can just get back to your street corner and leave me alone.'
'Yeah, well. I'm not in the mood for you, either.' Sebastian retorts with a sigh.
'And yet here we both are.' Kurt raises an eyebrow, and relaxes just a little.
Sebastian laughs. 'Here we are.' A pause. 'I'm going to get another coffee- do you want one?'
Kurt is thrown by the offer, but nods anyway, because he really does need caffeine. 'Non-fat mocha.' He tells Sebastian, who nods back.
'I'll be right back.' And, with something that might be a friendly smile, Sebastian is gone.
It takes a whole minute for Kurt to realise that Sebastian's eyes are red, and just a little puffy. He has been crying. In a perverse sort of a way, it is nice to know that someone else is having a bad day.
Sebastian returns with Kurt's coffee, and sets the cup in front of him, without speaking. Kurt wonders how he could have missed the red puffiness of the other boy's eyes, because now that he's seen it, it's horribly obvious.
'Thanks.' Kurt unsuccessfully attempts a smile.
'Consider it the fee to join your pity party.' Sebastian says, with just a trace of his usual carefree tone.
'Why'd you need a pity party?' Kurt wonders aloud, and then he gives himself a mental kick because this is Sebastian bloody Smythe, and it's therefore none of Kurt's business.
Sure enough, the question is followed by an uncomfortable silence.
'My mom's sick.' Sebastian says, eventually, and Kurt feels a pang of sympathy in his chest, because he knows what that's like. 'Like, really sick. I'm worried about her.'
Kurt nods. 'd'you… wants talk about it?'
Sebastian shakes his head. 'Not really, no.' he sighs. 'I'm not even sure why I told you.'
'Nor am I.' Kurt sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. They sit in silence for a while longer, until they have both finished their coffee. Kurt thinks about how the two of them have been sighing quite a lot today.
'Kurt…' Sebastian looks at him, long and hard, as if he's trying to stare right through him. 'Are you… okay?'
'no.' Kurt smiles weakly. 'Not really. But I'll cope.'
Sebastian nods. 'If you want to talk… I mean, I guess the offer goes both ways, yeah?'
Kurt thinks that maybe, Sebastian isn't just being polite, that this is almost a very tentative offer of friendship. So he meets Sebastian's eyes and says 'thank you.'
Sebastian's mouth twitches in what might be the start of a smile, and Kurt makes a quick decision.
He has a pen in his pocket, from the last time he wore these trousers to school, and he uses it to scribble his number on a napkin, which he then pushes across the table to Sebastian.
'If you need to talk to someone, text me.' He says, before standing to leave.
Sebastian doesn't say anything, but Kurt can see the gratitude in his eyes.
On the drive home, he realises that maybe, Sebastian isn't so bad.
The next morning, Kurt is woken up by his phone going off. The message alert isn't one of the personalised ones he uses for his close friends, and for a moment he is thrown. The number isn't a familiar one either, and Kurt deliberates for a moment before opening the message.
FROM: UNKNOWN NUMBER (9:43AM)
It's Sebastian. I saw Blaine's relationship status- you okay?
Kurt hastily saves the number, and types out a reply
TO: Sebastian (9:47AM)
As I said yesterday, I'm feeling pretty terrible. What about you?
FROM: Sebastian (9:50 AM)
Also terrible. It's an unusual feeling for me- does this happen to everyone?
TO: Sebastian (9:51AM)
To most people, yeah. Do you want to talk?
FROM: Sebastian (9:57AM)
Yeah. I want to talk- but not over text. Can you meet me?
TO: Sebastian (10:00AM)
I might regret this, but sure. When and where?
FROM: Sebastian (10:05AM)
Text me your address. I'll pick you up at 12.
Kurt frowns at the text. He isn't sure that this is a good idea, because this is Sebastian, who nearly blinded Blaine and tried to blackmail Rachel. Then he remembers that this is Sebastian, whose mother is seriously ill, who nearly cried when he heard about Karofsky, who raised almost one thousand dollars for the Born This Way foundation, and then used his own money to make it up to $1500.
Kurt texts Sebastian his address, then goes to have a shower.
When the doorbell rings at quarter past twelve, Kurt makes sure that he is the one to answer it. He has cleared the afternoon excursion with his father, on the condition that he is back by six for a family dinner.
Sebastian is dressed in a grey shirt, black skinny jeans, red sneakers, and is wearing glasses. It is the glasses that surprise Kurt most.
'I lost my contacts.' Sebastian shrugs, by way of explanation. 'You're dressed like a boy today. You look like a tomboy.' He gestures to Kurt's outfit, which actually looks sort of like the Dalton uniform, with the shirt and blazer, but with jeans, not the smart grey Dalton uniform trousers.
'You have no fashion sense.' Kurt retorts, but the remarks are friendly.
'Sure, sure.' Sebastian laughs. 'Now, come on, lunch is calling.'
'We're having lunch?' Kurt asks, surprised.
'Yeah. I know this great place, but we're gonna have to drive back up to Westerville.' Sebastian pauses. 'If you're okay with that, I mean.'
'Lunch is good.' Kurt says, and follows Sebastian to his car- a red and white Camaro with black go faster stripes on the bonnet.
Lunch is good- the café/restaurant that Sebastian has chosen is nicely out of the way, and makes a change from Breadstix. Kurt has a Chicken Caesar Salad, and Sebastian has a Panini, and it isn't until they are halfway through their meals that either of them speaks.
'So… I guess I'll start.' Sebastian says, without meeting Kurt's eyes. 'My mom's been ill on and off since she had me, but never with anything too serious. I was her second kid- and after her first pregnancy she was told that having another baby might lead to… complications. She and my dad managed for ten years- so there's quite an age gap between me and Charlie. But then I came along. I was a mistake, I guess- but my mom always calls me a surprise. But her immune system got weak when she had me, so she gets colds, stomach bugs and whatever all the time, but other than that she's been pretty healthy and active.
'Last year she was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and one of the symptoms of that is unexplained headaches- so when my mom complained to the doctors about getting headaches all the time, they told her not to worry. Yesterday morning she told me that she-' Sebastian's voice cracks, and Kurt watches, feeling helpless as the other boy blinks back tears. 'She's got a brain tumour.' Sebastian wipes his eyes again, and Kurt reaches across the table and takes hold of his free hand, desperate to offer some kind of comfort.
'They said… they said that they can operate, but it has to be soon. Surgery's in a week and a half, right in the middle of spring break. I'm just… really worried about her.'
'It's okay.' Kurt says, even though he knows that he can't promise it. 'It's alright. She'll be fine. They can operate. But until then, if you need me, I'm here. I lost my mom; I know how much being able to talk about it helps.'
Sebastian smiles, and takes a sip of his iced tea. He doesn't move his hand away from Kurt's, but there's nothing romantic about it- it's more like they're holding on to each other, simply for something to cling to.
'Thank you.' Sebastian says. 'It means a lot.' He laughs. 'More than I thought it would, to be honest.'
Kurt almost laughs too, but he doesn't have it in him to laugh and be okay yet, so he just smiles, because right now, that's the best he can do.
'It's your turn.' Sebastian tells him. 'What happened? I thought you two were disgustingly in love.'
'So did I.' Kurt admits. 'I guess we were both wrong.' He shrugs, and looks away. He's not sure he can look someone in the eyes while he tells this story. 'I sort of zoned out after "I'm breaking up with you, Kurt" but he said something like…' Kurt pauses, and takes a deep breath because he feels like he's choking on the words. 'he said that because I'm hopefully going away to NYADA, that we shouldn't have total separation then, that we should go from boyfriends to friends, like… like stepping stones or something.'
'Well, shit.' Sebastian says his voice full of sympathy, which Kurt somehow wasn't expecting. 'I mean… that's not even a good reason for a start.'
Kurt nods, because he's not really sure what to do now.
'Blaine's hot, he's got a nice ass and a great set of pipes on him, but seriously Kurt- if he's gonna act like that, even if he thinks this is in both of your best interests, you shouldn't bother.' Sebastian shakes his head, and Kurt is surprised to hear the indignant tone in Sebastian's voice.
'I wish it were that easy.' Kurt sighs, and retracts his hand, running it through his fringe. 'I mean… I can't just get over him, you know? I need time, and I'm going to have to face him tomorrow.'
'I've never had a boyfriend to break up with.' Sebastian shrugs. 'I mean, I don't do relationships.'
'Slut.' Kurt says, but all Sebastian does is laugh.
'You're just too heartbroken to admit that I'm insanely attractive.' Sebastian tells him, with a wink, and Kurt almost laughs, but it catches in his throat, and he just ends up coughing instead.
'Easy there.' Sebastian smirks. 'Can't have you choking to death on my watch.' He pauses a moment, and then continues in his earlier vein. 'I've never had a break up, because relationships in general seem like they suck. Normally I'd tell you to get laid, or something. But it's you, so you wouldn't anyway, and I kinda doubt that you'd feel better after the post-orgasm haze cleared-'
'Sebastian!' Kurt gasps. 'That's… we're in public, can you maybe not be inappropriate?'
'You love it really.' Sebastian smiles, and Kurt just shakes his head in amused frustration.
Sebastian insists on paying for Kurt's meal, because "I'm the rich one here" and Kurt tells him that he hates him, but he says it with a smile, and they both know that it's no longer true. When Sebastian drops Kurt home, he hugs him goodbye and Burt's first question is to ask if there is anything going on with Kurt and Sebastian. Kurt shakes his head, and tells his dad that they're just being one another's emotional crutches, to which Burt Hummel raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
Much later, Kurt is sitting on his bed, reading a magazine when his phone goes off, and from the generic beeping, he knows it's a text from Sebastian.
FROM: Sebastian (9:44PM)
I'm getting an early night, so- goodnight, Kurt.
And, for the record, Blaine's an idiot for dumping you. You can do better.
Even though the words are generic, it is the first time that it has been said to Kurt, and before he can do anything, he is crying. He buries his face into his pillow, and sobs so hard that his chest aches and his throat hurts. He isn't sure how long he's there, but when he finally stops, Kurt thinks that maybe, he feels a little better.
Kurt falls asleep almost immediately after he finishes his moisturising routine. He is going to need all the sleep he can get, because tomorrow he has to go to school and face Blaine. Kurt isn't sure if he can, but he will try anyway, because he is Kurt Hummel, and he is strong, even when he isn't.