No, I'm not dead. I've just been going absolutely fucking crazy dealing with school, my asshole parents and generally trying to so much as get a good night's sleep at large. I just really needed a break to try and concentrate on stuff that wasn't school related so I wouldn't end up base-jumping without a parachute. I'm still here, and Mocha Dimensional's not going anywhere.
And you can all thank BigSlayerGuyMan, because not only did he inspire me to get off my lazy, fat ass, but he proofread the new chapter. so enjoy it, all, and though the updates will be infrequent, I promise you won't have to wait seven months for the next one~
Disclaimer: Adventure Time isn't mine~
The days leading up to the tournament rolled quickly by. All those invited had been through rigorous intense training. The Jupiter, having no rules (except for homicide), allowed those who were participating to use any skill, technique or fighting style they so chose. Ice Queen was fine-tuning her Fridjitsu, Finn and Fionna were mastering their swordplay, Marceline and Marshall Lee were getting together their musical instruments, Gwynn was...no one was really sure what she was doing for preparation. No one had seen her since the day she was invited.
And of all those who were training, Finn was at the top of the list. The hero trained night and day, perfecting all of his necessary dodgeball skills; throwing, catching, deflecting, endurance, the whole shebang.
And every time he thought he'd had enough, he repeated his mantra: "Fionna's going down...Fionna's going down..."
The sun hung high in the sky, making the Thunder Kingdom shine brighter than normal. The streets were filled with Thunder Demons and Bearwula alike heading towards the arena, all eager to see the dodgeball deathmatch. Everyone was especially eager to see it, because, for the first time in Thunder Kingdom history, non-Thunder Demons would be participating; two of them being the last humans in the world. Needless to say, there was tons of hype.
Jasso and Ice Queen rode the elevator leading up the large tower to the arena where the Gauntlet of Jupiter was to take place. The two had been practicing their skills like mad, despite the fact that they might not even be in the same team when the time came. But they promised each other that no matter what, they'd fight their hardest, regardless of how much they loved each other.
But they DID have a little side bet that whoever lost would be on the bottom that night.
"So..." said Jasso, absentmindedly toying with a strand of his jet-black hair, running a finger through the electric yellow streak. "Ready for this?"
"You know it, babe." responded Ice Queen, smirking.
Throughout the entire training sessions, the Ice Queen's bravado or confidence never shook once, not even when Jasso regaled her with tales of near-death experiences some Thunder Demons suffered in the game.
"That's what I wanted to hear." nodded Jasso, winking.
The elevator finally stopped, Ice Queen taking a moment to look out the window. "Wow..." she whistled. "Loooooong way down."
"It adds to the fun." said the younger royal, stepping out of the elevator.
The arena, known as the Kirin's Eye, was massive, about twice the size of the ground floor of the Candy Castle. It was completely circular and enclosed by a glass dome, with hundreds of seats on either side of the great battlefield, protected by a huge wall of glass. An announcer's booth stood on the far end, also enclosed in glass. As Jasso and Ice Queen stepped through, the audience erupted into loud cheers, from both Thunder Demon and Bearwula.
"Ice Queen!" "Ice Queen!" "Ice Queen!"
"Wow." giggled the sorceress, blushing. "I had no idea I was so popular."
Jasso snaked an arm around the elder royal's waist, grinning. "Being engaged to me helps a lot, too."
"Ladies and gentlemen!" suddenly boomed a massive voice from nowhere. All eyes turned up to see that a rather tall and muscular Thunder Demon had taken the mic. He wore a simple blue and green suit with black pants, and large black sunglasses.
"It's a beautiful day for dodgeball, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?!"
The audience roared in agreement, every soul in their seat eager to see some bloodshed.
"Hoo, yes! I can feel the dodgeball fever in here, I tell ya! This is your man Joltastic providing you with color commentary, sublime and in real-time! First off the elevator, our great Thunder King-to-be, let's hear it for our main man, Jassooooooooooooooooo!"
The crowd cheered as Jasso rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, not used to so much attention.
"And on his arm, the frigid goddess of Ooo and our future Lady in Lightning, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"
Cheers, and even a few wolf-whistles burst from the crowd, Ice Queen waving and blowing kisses, completely unembarassed by the attention.
"I'm liking this so far." grinned Ice Queen.
"Alright, dodgeball enthusiasts, we've got a special treat for all of you! No doubt you've heard by now that this is gonna be the first Gauntlet of Jupiter in HISTORY to feature non-Thunder Demons OR non-Bearwula!"
The whoosh of the elevator door made Jasso and Ice Queen whirl around. Dressed in a sleeveless, grey tank top, skinny black jeans and her usual sunhat was Marceline, her axe bass slung over her back.
"Hey, dweebs." she smirked, winking.
"Speak of the devil!" whooped Joltastic, gesturing to Marceline. "We bring you the first newcomer to the dodgeball scene, you all know her as the sexiest scourge in all of Ooo, Marceline, the Vampire Queen!"
Marceline smiled, plucking her bass off her back and strumming a few chords, charging up the audience even more.
"Showoff." scoffed Ice Queen, rolling her eyes.
Off the elevator stepped three more people, all astride Lady Rainicorn. The audience ooo'd and aaa'd at the sight; no one had ever seen a Rainicorn, and the crowed was wowed at the colors and beauty of Lady.
Jake sat atop her neck, both his hands morphed into giant '#1s', pointing them at he and and Lady. Upon his head was BMO, smiling and waving to the crowd. And behind them sat-floated LSP, a determined look on her face.
"Well, look at all of that!" howled Joltastic, eyes widening behind his sunglasses. "Quite the menagerie of characters we've got on tap for today!"
Jasso rushed over to Jake, a concerned look on his face. "Jake, where's Finn?"
"He'll be here, chill. He said he had some stuff to do."
"To those of you unfamiliar, that, ladies and gents, is a Rainicorn, and a rather beautiful one, at that!"
Lady blushed, turning her head sheepishly. "A, geuman, ansaeg-i an joh-eunde. (Oh, stop, I look terrible.)"
"And on her back, if I'm not mistaken, looks like the princess of Lumpy Space!"
LSP let out a dismissive sort of wave, altogether looking pretty bored.
"And also atop this Rainicorn is one of the four great heroes of Ooo, Jake the dog!"
"What's up, Thunder Kingdoooooooooooooooooom!" howled the magic canine, pumping a fist into the air.
"Well, he's enjoying himself." muttered Ice Queen.
Gwynn, Ukit and the two royals Gumball and Bubblegum arrived soon after, to the cheers and adulation of the crowd. But Finn and Fionna were still absent, and Lee was getting a tad worried.
"He said he'd be here by now." huffed Lee, floating lazily in the air. "You don't think he ran into trouble, did he?"
"C'mon, man, it's Finn." reassured Jake. "Trouble's his maiden name."
About a half-hour passed before the elevator whooshed again, all eyes in the arena turning towards it. The doors slowly opened and out stepped Fionna...
...dragging a semiconscious Finn by one arm, an exhausted look on her face.
The other participants looked on in stunned silence as the heroine pulled Finn inside, grunting in exertion. It must've been from a long way, judging by the way her face was all red and sweaty.
"We're here she wheezed, dropping Finn's arm on the ground and falling to one knee. "Just...gimme a sec to catch my...my..."
And the blonde fell over, fatigue finally taking its toll, sending her off to a deep sleep.
"Um..." said Joltastic, scratching the back of his head in confusion. "If I'm not mistaken, those were the legendary heroes of Ooo, Fionna and Finn, but they seemed to have fallen unconscious. What will this mean for the game?"
Lee floated over and pried open Finn's eye, scrutinizing it carefully. "Oh, yeah, he's out. It'd take an earthquake to get him up now." A sly grin crossed his face. "Hey, Ice Queen, would you mind-"
"Say one crack about my thighs and you'll be sucking ice until next ear." hissed the sorceress.
"Hang on." said Jasso, walking over to the two. "Maybe I can try something..."
The prince knelt down by the heroes, looking them over from every which way. "Hey, Jake. Finn and Fionna don't have any heart problems, do they?"
His question was cut short as Jasso held a hand over the two and released a massive bolt of lightning that struck them, right in the hearts.
"OH, MY GLOB!" yelled Marshall Lee and Jake in unison.
Finn and Fionna's eyes snapped open both yelping in pain as they felt the electricity surge through their bodies. Seeing they were awake, Jasso stopped, stepping back. "Hey, guys."
"The flippin' STUFF!" screamed Finn, looking about ready to wring the prince's neck. "What'd you do that for?!" The hero paused, looking about the enormous arena. "And how'd I end up here?"
"I DRAGGED you here." grumbled Fionna, straightening her bangs, which had frizzed out like crazy when Jasso shocked her. "Aaaaaaaaall the way from the treehouse, where I found you half-dead from practicing for several days with BOWLING BALLS. What were you THINKING?"
"I was in training!" he shot back. "And where's Cake? Isn't she coming?"
Fionna bit her lip. "Well...no. There's a problem she's got goin' on and she can't make it."
Cake growled in irritation, patches of her fur missing from where she had chewed it off. Her hands (and feet) had been shoved into mittens, each sealed up with about a half a roll of duct tape. A plastic cone shielded her from the neck up, hiding the furious scowl she currently wore from the world. She felt an itch on her back and darted out her hand to scratch it, only to remember the mittens.
"Stupid fleas..." she hissed.
"Alright!" howled the announcer as Ice Queen and Jasso stood at opposite ends of the arena. "The time's come now for the captains to choose their teammates! And Jasso, as reigning champion, gets first pick!"
"Ukit." he said, without even skipping a beat. The little Bearwula bounded over to the prince, crossing his arms and standing proud.
"Gumball." giggled Ice Queen, to the candy prince's horror. Nervously, he sidled up to the princess, though keeping a safe distance.
"Hmmm..." muttered Jasso, carefully choosing his next pick. "Marceline."
The smirking vampiress made her way over to the Thunder Demon, folding her arms and adopting a challenging pose.
"Bubblegum." said Ice Queen. The younger royal sighed and muttered 'Just my luck.' before taking her place next to the sorceress.
The two went back and forth, picking teammates until there was no one left. Once it was all said and done, on Jasso's side stood Ukit, Marceline, LSP, Finn, Jake and Lady Rainicorn. With Ice Queen was Gumball, Bubblegum, BMO, Gwynn, Marshall Lee and Fionna. The candy prince stood farthest away from the sorceress, twiddling his thumbs nervously.
"Alright." Jasso said, addressing everyone. "In this game, there's no limits, except you can't cross the line. Use whatever tactics, skills, powers or whatever you think'll help you win. The only requirement is that you have to hit someone with a dodgeball to knock them out, and of course, no crossing the line."
Upon the word 'out', a holographic scoreboard appeared on either side of the arena showing the participating members, and a large, yellow line appeared right down the middle, dividing the two teams.
"Last man or woman standing wins for the team, and no time limit. Everyone ready?"
The teams nodded, each making their way to their side of the arena. A loud whooshing sound like the elevator sounded, and above the arena materialized the dodgeballs, sixteen average-sized balls of rubber, which dropped and landed perfectly on the white line dividing the arena.
Following that, a large 10 appeared in the center of the arena, counting down slowly.
9...Ice Queen winked at Jasso and blew a kiss...
8...Finn and Fionna stared at each other hard, the former a fiercely determined look on his face...
7...LSP sighed disinterestedly and crossed her arms...
6...Marceline and Marshall Lee bared their fangs at each other, readying their musical weapons.
5...BMO did a few quick jabs in the air, doing a few light boxer's hops left and right as he locked eyes with Ukit...
4...Bubblegum gulped nervously while Gwynn placed a comforting hand on her shoulder...
3...Jake and Lady Rainicorn held hands, looking amped and ready for anything...
2...The entire audience sat stock still, waiting with baited breath for who would cast the first ball...
1...Jasso knelt down into a runner's starting stance, lightning crackling lightly around his hands...