/v/ - Video Games

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: This is likely the worst thing I've written for April Fools. Not like it matters, since April Fools is long gone... but who cares, it's a fanfic about /b/ 2.0. This is also why I need to stop hanging around 4Chan all the time.

The sad thing is, this isn't even all of /v/'s memes. You want the rest, then go lurk moar.

Toadette was walking in some peaceful green pastures in... Moo Moo Meadows. Yes, that's the place. Because who doesn't love clear blue skies?

When suddenly, she spotted a strange cube that led to another dimension!

"Oooh, I wonder what this will take me to," Toadette cooed as she picked up the cube, being sucked into the cube.

Toadette opened her eyes, ending up in a place that seemed wonderful. There were rainbows everywhere, and she was loving it. Suddenly, a metal unicorn popped out of nowhere.

"HARMONY HARMONY OH LOVE," Voices in the background shouted.

The metal unicorn picked up Toadette by the horn and placed her on its back, rolling around at the speed of sound as it dashed over the purple landscape. Toadette held on tightly, cheering from joy.

"This is the best thing ever!" Toadette exclaimed, hitting an upside down stop sign as the metal unicorn continued running off, hitting a purple rock and exploding. Toadette sniffled as she rubbed her eyes, sniffling.

A random fat guy with a red shirt and blue pants walked up to the sad Toadette. "What's wrong, little girl? Y u so ronery?"

Toadette looked up, tears still down her eyes. "Who... who are you?"

The guy made an awkward face as he began crying. "I am forever alone."

Toadette felt creeped out, moving away from the fat man and heading eastward. She then spotted two young boys.

"Hey, check out le girl that's crying le tears!" One of the boys shouted, a black kid.

The other boy, a Japanese, made yet another awkward face. "Me gusta!"

Toadette waved her hands at the two boys. "Eww. You guys are freaky."

"FFFFFUUUU-" The two boys made rage faces as they suddenly exploded.

Toadette blinked, rubbing the guts off of her. A troll face popped up from beneath the ground.

"Problem?" The trollface exclaimed.

Toadette screamed in horror as she turned around, making a mad dash as she bumped into a horrifying revision of Sonic The Hedgehog.

"GOTTA GO FAST," The deformed Sonic exclaimed.

Toadette trembled, holding her hands together. "S-Sonic? You don't look good?"

The deformed Sonic laughed in a deranged manner as he took off his head. "I'm not Sonic, I'm Sanic!"

A PS3 popped up in front of Toadette. "Hey, how about you play with me? I have games!"

Toadette gasped as she clapped her hands together joyfully. "Games? Boy oh boy!"

"REV UP THOSE FRYERS," Fred the Fish proclaimed as he grabbed the PS3 and shook it, "Cause PS3 has no gaems!"

Toadette had a horrified look on her face, not knowing what was going on.

"No Grill, Fryers Only, Final Destination." Fred stated as he glared at Toadette.

Toadette backed off, accidentally falling into a pool of chocolate pudding. She popped her head out, looking up to see a depressed Stu Pickles stirring the pot.

"I lost control of my life," Stu muttered, the clock being 4:00 in the morning.

Toadette screamed as she tried swimming out, only to spot Gutsman's Ass. She turned around, bumping into an angry Giant Enemy Crab, who started slapping Toadette's shit. David The Gnome got pissed and started slapping everyone's shits, while the Red and Blue Teams were too busy acting like idiots over hats.

"This really isn't the time for-" Toadette tried to say, then spotting a horrifying image in front of her. Her face turned green. "Good lord... is that a dragon dildo?" Her face then turned purple.

Suddenly, Piccolo appeared out of nowhere, pulling Toadette out of the pudding. "You need your daily dose, little girl!" He exclaimed as he began raping Toadette, much to Toadette's horror.


"Thanks, doc," Toadette sarcastically remarked, rubbing her injured butt as she headed to the south, hoping for more calm things.

"Look at all that /v/irgin over there, snooping as usual!" A stick figure exclaimed, pointing at Toadette.

Another stick figure popped out. "Hey, it's a girl gamer! Let's go harass her!"

A third stick figure slapped the second one. "No, you gently carass idiot! That goon is obviously a trap!"

Toadette screamed as she made a mad dash for her life heading westward. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!"

Principal Skinner suddenly popped out of Toadette's head, offering her a plate of Krusty Burgers. "What you need, young girl, is steamed hams!"

Toadette eyed Skinner disturbingly. "Those are burgers, not steamed hams!"

Suddenly, the ship started to sink. It turns out that Toadette and Skinner were on the Tortanic, which was sinking to the iceberg named BioWare.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM," A guard exclaimed as he picked up Toadette, staring at her face to face. "I use to be frightened like you, but then..." Both of his legs were shot by flaming arrows. He giggled girlishly. "I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE XD!"

Toadette head BONK'd the guard, running off as she began crying. "This is too much for me! I just wanted to have fun!"

"FUN IS A BUZZWORD," All the dying passengers on Mr. Bones' Wild Ride exclaimed, forever stuck on the painfully slow ride.

Mr. Bones grabbed Toadette and laughed at her, sticking her in an empty barrel. "The ride never ends!"

Toadette tried to get out of the barrel, but she was pulled down by a carnivorous Waluigi, who stuck his big enormous nose into Toadette's face.

"You must recover!" He shouted as he placed both of his feet into Toadette's butts. "UR MR GAY!"

Toadette slapped Waluigi across the face. "You're a creep, ya freak!"

Groose suddenly jumped into the barrel, holding Toadette and shaking her. "You're groosing for a bruising!"

Toadette grabbed a razor and used it to get rid of Groose's faulous hair. Groose looked up, dropping Toadette as he screamed in horror.

"WHY AM I SO BALD!" He exclaimed, bursting into treats.

An angry grizzly bear suddenly ripped apart the barrel, roaring in rage, "FUCKING GAMESTOP!"

As Toadette stumbled out of the barrel, she held her stomach with both of her hands, not feeling good. Suddenly, spaghetti fell out of her pockets.

"Oh man, this is heavy..." Toadette gasped as she rubbed her head, lowering her eyes. "I just wanna go home..."

Dr. Eggman grabbed Toadette by the neck, choking her. "CANDLE SNIFFING FUCK FENCE GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS."

Toadette screamed, barfing into Eggman's face as she headed eastward. "GAH! MAKE IT STOP!"

Suddenly, Toadette tripped, causing her to look up and scream out Sakurai's name in vain.

Pikachu walked up to Toadette, helping her up. He didn't say anything, simply smiling as he waved and walked away. Toadette smiled, holding her hands together.

"Wow, he helped me and didn't do anything nasty to me!" Toadette proclaimed as she sighed. "Oh, if only the other idiots were like this..."

Spongebob laughed as he popped his head out of the grass. "Pikachu is just one of my favorites because he's basically the living representation of raw unparalleled will and unbridled energy and determination."

Toadette eyed Spongebob, inching away from him. Toadette then walked up to a sign, which read No Hope. She scratched her head as another stick figure popped up next to her.

"It's over, /v/ is finished."The stick figure proclaimed, folding his arms. "Sure is vidya games in here."

Toadette lowered her arms as she frowned, looking down in depression. "Tell me about it. I would have never come here if I actually knew about this place..."

Patrick Bateman laughed as he pointed at Toadette. "That's nice, but check out my doubles!"

Suddenly, the clock ringed. All of the stick figures in the entire metropolis looked at the clock and cheered, immediately going from day to night.

"IT'S JAPAN TIME! EVERYONE GET YOUR BODIES READY!" Reggie shouted from the top of his own head, which he... cloned.

Toadette folded her arms, going from depressed to annoyed. "Okay, this is getting out of hand..."

"IT'S AS IF I'M REALLY CARING," A blue Shy Guy remarked, referring to Toadette.

Toadette grabbed a Blue Shell and tossed it at the Shy Guy, deciding to find her way back. "All right. I'm gonna go find my way back. Fuck this place."

And thus, Toadette began her amazing quest, which would take her to amazing places... oh who am I kidding.