A/N: Angst ahead! No seriously, this hurt to write.
Also, Haymitch makes some dirty jokes. Some really bad ones.
Credit to Emmy3 for this idea!
peetagirl3: 1) That review is pure awesomeness so THANK YOU! No more slapping required ahaha
2) hecks yeah I've read Harry Potter! For whatever reason, I'm under the impression that everyone has read Harry Potter and it's a universal constant (I seriously need to reread, though, it's been like five years)
3) This is the last time I'll say it: Katniss will say yes, and it will be the last chapter. There may or may not be an epilogue. I'm not decided yet because it's ages away.
"Katniss do you want-"
Something growls inside me, and I shudder and try to hold it in. The tray of cookies drops from my hand. I hear it hit the ground, scattering and smashing cookies everywhere.
I snap my head in her direction, and her voice makes my blood boil. Katniss.
She's halfway down the stairs, coming for me. She's coming to kill me. She's going to try to kill me again. Berries, arrows, hunting knives, noose.
Fear rises up inside me but there's nowhere to run. Fight. I have to fight.
"Get away from me," I growl, and she pauses at the bottom step.
"Oh, Peeta. No, no, no Peeta."
She knows. She knows I'm going to fight back and she's not happy about it.
"I said get away!" I scream, and my fingers scramble to grab the tray I dropped, to grab any weapon. But no, too slow, too late. She wraps her arms around me -tight, too tight. She's trying to kill me. Strong hands -too strong, can't escape, no escape.
"Let go of me!" I scream, and she clings tighter.
Fight back. Fightbackfightbackfightback escape.
I struggle, shrieking, kicking wildly, pushing and shoving at her too strong arms. Limbs everywhere. Letgoletgoletgoletgo.
"Raugh!" I elbow her as hard as I can, in the neck, in the face, taking her moment of surprise to shove her away, as hard as I can.
She slides back into the cupboard, eyes wide, and I scramble from the kitchen. Getoutgetoutgetout before she kills me.
There's something fighting inside and nononononono.
"Katniss?" My fists are clenched at my side and I'm breathing heavily and control -control, fight for control.
My vision clears.
She's sitting on the floor, leaning against the cupboard. She looks shocked, and there are scratches on her arms and nononononono her head is bleeding, isn't it.
"Katniss?" I stumble towards her. "Katniss!" I run to her side and kneel beside her, fingers hesitant. "Katniss, are you okay? Oh, Katniss, I'm so sorry, are you okay? I'm so sorry, Katniss."
Her eyes are wide, and finally fix on me. She inhales shakily. "I-I'm fine, Peeta."
My hands tangle themselves in my hair, pulling. "No, no, you're not, and it's all my fault and I'm so sorry Katniss!" I take a breath and tears start streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, are you okay? No, no you're not. One second. One second."
I try to get up, but it's hard. I finally manage to stagger to my feet. Bandages. Bandages. Where is the first aid kit? Closet. Yes, closet. Okay.
"Okay, Katniss. Um, can you lift your head?" She does what I say, but her movements are slow and I'm terrified she's losing too much blood.
I wrap her head carefully. "Um, what else do I need to..." I'm breathing too fast. Hyperventilating. Stay calm, Peeta. Katniss needs you. Calm.
She shakes her head slowly. Katniss glances at the scratches on her arms but dismisses them. "I'm fine."
"Okay," I exhale. "Um, you should lie down. Upstairs? Or...the couch..."
No, I don't trust myself to get her all the way upstairs without supervision. Haymitch. Haymitch. I need Haymitch.
I start towards the door, then hesitate. I can't leave her here alone. I'll call him.
"Haymitch? Come on, Haymitch." He doesn't pick up until the fifth ring, and the silence between each ring is longer than the last. "Haymitch!" I cry, relieved, when he finally picks up. "Haymitch I need you to come here now."
He laughs through the phone. "Do you still need my help to convince her? I told you it won't work." He pauses for a second, but starts talking again before I can tell him to hurry up. "No," he gasps. "You knocked her up, didn't you? And you have no idea what to do."
"Haymitch, just come." I plead, hanging up before he can make another crude joke.
Katniss is trying to pull herself to her feet. I should help her. I really want to help her. But what if-
Nope, I'm already helping her up, making her lean on the counter for support and then backing away to keep her safe.
The doorbell rings. Good.
"What happened to you, sweetheart? Get a little rough in bed?"
Katniss scowls at him, the highest level scowl, with the narrowed eyes that almost glow. "Shut up, Haymitch."
Oh nonono, he's drunker than I thought.
"Please don't," I say. "We need to get Katniss upstairs, and I need you to make sure she's okay. Keep an eye on her. I...I have to go."
There's no way he can get her up there alone, so I carry her up. Katniss doesn't say a word, and even lets me carry her to bed. Shakily, I pull the blanket over her.
Grey, grey eyes staring straight into me.
"Goodbye, Katniss." I kiss her forehead and her voice stops me at the door.
"You're coming back, right?"
I go to the woods.
It's kind of hard to get in there with a prosthetic leg and my level of klutziness in nature, but I manage. I stumble so deep that I can't tell District 12 exists anymore and then I slump on a log and cry.
The worst kind of crying. The kind where your sobs hurt and your shoulders shake and I bury my face in my hands until it's over.
I pull my hands down, taking a deep breath. The sun is setting and it hurts to look at. My face is sticky with tears.
I should go back. I've been here for at least an hour.
I look down at my hands, watching for tremors. It's a pretty reliable sign.
There aren't any.
I check my pupils in a puddle next, which are a little small -more likely due to the sun than a fit.
Deep breaths. Okay.
I get up, heading to the fence.
Except I don't know where the fence is. Because I'm an idiot.
I start off in a random direction and turn around when I figure I've hit the distance from the fence to the stump. Eventually, I've made three circles and ended up back at the stump. I sigh, sitting back down. I give up. I'm gonna die out here.
I drag a hand down my face. Maybe if I wait until dark I'll be able to see the District's lights?
"I thought I'd find you here,"
I whirl around. Katniss is standing a few feet away, smirking. Her head is still bandaged.
"H-how did you find me?"
She rolls her eyes and leans against a tree. "Please. I could practically hear you stomping around from the house."
I lower my hands. "Oh."
I don't hear her step closer, but I know she's there before she touches my shoulder. "Peeta, it's okay."
I shake my head. "No, no, it's not."
Katniss sighs, sitting down next to me.
"I-I can't believe I hurt you." I manage. I glance at her and I can't look away. "I never want to hurt you."
I guess that's not true because of my fits, but she knows what I mean.
Katniss puts a hand on my arm. She doesn't say anything for a while, moving her hand back and forth along my forearm. "This is why I don't want kids, you know."
She starts, and stares at me. "It's not that." She frowns. "Well, it is that. But we're just not ready for children. We're too...broken."
I place my hand on hers. My heart hurts.
"Come on," she says, standing. "let's go." I hesitate, but she pulls me to my feet.
"It's getting dark," I say.
Katniss smiles. "I'll lead you home."
"Back already?" Haymitch grins, a bottle in hand. He found my stash.
I don't say anything. Neither does Katniss.
"Cold." He mutters.
"Thank you, Haymitch. You can go home now."
Haymitch rolls his eyes, stumbling to his feet and holding his hands up in surrender.
"I'll make sure he gets home okay." Katniss whispers. She squeeze my hand before she lets go. "Go get some rest."
I dream about a little girl with blonde hair and grey eyes who can heal with a single touch.