By Tristan Delecour


Things were finally winding down in Tokyo 3, seven years later after the supposed final angel that came in the form of Kaworu Nagisa. After his destruction, things went rather down hill for NERV and their staff was greatly reduced. Destruction of humanity, the human genome project, and all of those were all failures.

"I'm so glad they're finally letting me out of the hospital!" Asuka exclaimed to no one in particular. The seven years of therapy after her coma had not been kind to her. Shinji, now twenty-one years of age, was only vaguely remembering what she was like outside to the world. Misato, on the other hand, was more than overjoyed that she was finally coming to.

"We're bringing bad news, Asuka, as we arranged for you to be taken out of here for one more chance." Misato said with a large penguin covering her still most lucious breasts.

"Oh no.. You don't mean..." Asuka sat back and stood agape with her hands covering her mouth.

"Yes, two months ago one of the old satilites we had orbiting picked up a trace of blue pattern."

"But I thought everything was safe again!" Asuka complained, frustrated with this news.

"It's true. NERV has begun rebuilding Rei's old unit-" Misato was interrupted by Shinji laughing and mumbling about "Rei's unit".

"Ahem, Rei's Unit 00 was rebuilt, and yours and Shinji's are sitting happilly in the cold storage." She continued.

" I won't do it! I'm not any good at it! I suck and stuff!" Asuka whined, making jabbing motions with her fists.

"We planned on that. That's why we have found another pilot." Misato said, smiling slightly.

"Another pilot?" Shinji and Asuka thought together. Shinji mostly focusing on how many baths he could take with this possible new dream-boat, and Asuka mostly concentrating on what EVA was going to be piloted.

"But what will they pilot?!" Asuka asked, dreading the inevitable answer of her shiny red EVA.

"Unit 04." was the reply.

"Unit 04?!"

"Yes, 04. The original 03 was a failure, and the 04 was thought to be lost after a certain accident that still remains classified, but they recently found it. Turns out it was under a rock or something. Yeah..." Misato said while sitting down on a nearby park bench. "It's got that funky ass S2 core so it doesn't need to be plugged in like your EVA's, or toasters."

"Now who's the pilot?" Asuka asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid I can't tell that unless you guarantee that you'll pilot again.." Misato said producing some papers from the inside of her jacket.

"... Oh fine, I was getting sick of that place anyways," Asuka said, signing away her life. "Where am I going to be staying?"

"We're going to be a family again!" Misato said while cheering.

"... I thought you hated doing that!" Asuka looked over at Shinji who was idly cracking his knuckles.

"Well, er... It's not like it's an issue with me and Shinji any more.."

"Wait...." Asuka said, while having this new information scream through her brain. "does that mean..."

"Oh no, no, no! Shinji's is straight as a hair pin!" Misato said, chuckling.

"I'm not gay!" Shinji yelled while admiring the view of the water.

"Sure you aren't," Misato said.

"I can guess where the new pilot is going to be, right?" Asuka sighed, already knowing the answer.

"WITH US!" Misato yelled with a cheer.


The sixth pilot sat happily within his seat playing with his disc-style player that hooked up to his Sony MDRV700DJ headphones. They were an older model, far surpassed by other full ear enclosure style headphones as far as weight, sound, and portability, but they were quite comfortable and had a classic feel to them that the pilot liked.

He got up and stretched around the cabin, as he was the only one in the whole passenger compartment. His various travel supplies all in crates and boxes around him, the plane itself was huge. He was the only one in the passenger compartment, spare two guards who were asleep, so he was free to travel around the cabin.

Down the stairs in the cargo bay, his prized possession, a 1998 Mazda RX-7 with its 13B motor, modified sequential turbocharger setup, and heavily modified suspension by Tein, featuring fully adjustable coilovers, adjustable pillow mounts, caster and camber settings, and engine with a wide variety of parts from Trust/Greddy, HKS, and APEXi, sat tied down to the floor. He refused to leave it back at home, as he had it imported from Japan, and he felt that it should return to the land it was built. It was an old car, but he just loved the smooth curves and the 50/50 weight ratio that the car had and made handling like a dream. Unfortunately, the parts for the car were very difficult to find after second impact, so he had scoured all corners of the earth for them to build it. He hoped to find some new ones back in Japan.

"In time...In time..." He said to himself, as he dragged his finger across the painted carbon fiber hood.


Shinji, Rei, Asuka, Misato, and the recently released Dr. Ritsuko Akagi all stood around the air strip, awaiting the arrival of the pilot of Unit 04, which was already in storage, ready to run, and Asuka was beginning to get a bit irritated.

"Where the hell is that plane? I thought it was supposed to be arriving at 3:00 PM! It's 3:20 now!" She whined, while Ikari and Ayanami chatted idly about the weather, when the drone of props came in.

"Well, well, well," Ritsuko said to Misato, "Looks like this one got the full treatment."

"Did you hear who he is?" Misato asked. "I for one am quite impressed..."

"Or is that envy?" Ritsuko mumbled to hersellf.

"The plane has arrived." Rei chimed and held up a sign which read in rough English, "WELCOME AMERICAN PILOT HAPPY FUN TIME HYPER HYPER NEON SATURN". Asuka had laughed at her sign, but Rei knew it was the most friendly thing she would ever do, and that Asuka was a dumb cunt that no one liked.

The plane finally taxied to a halt and the rear cargo hatch dropped down. Within five minutes the sound of a very loud car started to cut through the air.

"What's that?" Asuka said, while holding up a sign that read "You will be subserviant to me or I will eat your brains.". Luckily no one in the group knew English well enough to figure out what it said, so Asuka had won in that respect.

A small dot started growing, and it started to take form as the familiar shape of a third generation RX-7. Misato was the first one to notice what kind of car it was.

"A seven, eh? He must have big bucks to still run that thing on gas..." She said to herself.

"What kind of car is that-" Shinji started when the car suddenly veered to the left then quickly turned to the right causing the car to skid sideways to the small group.

"The fuck is he doing?" Asuka yelled, getting ready to run.

But the car came to a halt about ten feet in front of them, and the pilot opened the door of the car and exited from the right side.

"Howdy! I'm Tristan Delecour!" The pilot said.


"Tristan Delecour? You mean THE Tristan Delecour who is a SUPERSTAR TRANCE DJ AND WORLD FAMOUS CHAMPION RALLY DRIVER?" Asuka screamed, throwing her sign to the back, clocking a gaping Rei Ayanami on the forehead. "I have ALL your CD's, but my ultimate FAVORITE of all FAVORITES is "TRANCE IN UPLIFTING FLUFFY UNDERWATER". You're, like, so cool!!!"

"Don't you know it!" Tristan purred from behind a pair of dark sunglasses in Japanese. "You must be Asuka, the only real English speaker of the group. I saw your photo earlier. I must say, you're... a bit different from the picture," he said, eyeing her up and down.

"Well, I, um, er.." Asuka said, backtracking and trying to cover herself up. She knew she would have to get back into perfect shape if she wanted the Tristan to be with her at night.

"You're fine you're fine! It's a joke!" he said, smiling, and flipped the keys out, the car running on its APEXi turbo timer.

"Ah, and you must be Shinji and Rei, my other fellow pilots," He said, switching back to his perfect Japanese.

Rei had no idea what was coming over her. For the first time in her life, she was feeling something that she had never felt before! A passion for something, and it was Tristan. He was just too much for her rather stunted emotions to handle!

"Hello.." She said, trying to pull of her normal indifference, with great difficulty.

"You're even prettier than they had said. I'm surprised they let you out during the day," he said, carefully repositioning his perfect brown hair.

"Well I-" and she stopped herself from answering. "Thank you." She said, blushing. She thought to herself how she was going to make herself look prettier the next time she was going to see him.

"So you're the great Ikari, eh? Not much to you though. Doesn't your dad run the whole package here?" Tristan said, listening to the car shut down.

"Well, um.. Yes?" Suddenly, Shinji felt a bit down, as he had a feeling that Tristan wasn't going to go take baths with him like Kaworu did. Or perhaps that he was going to suck even more.

"That's great! I've heard great things about you!"

"Ahem, if I may?" Ritsuko interjected, lighting a cigarette. "You may have heard that we had a blue pattern recently, and that's why you are being brought over to Japan." she said, pointing at Tristan.

"Yeah, so I heard. Good thing I'm around and all given the fact that Unit 04 was recovered!" Tristan said with a slight wince about Unit 04.

"Yes, losing NERV 2 was a huge loss for us all," Ritsuko continued. "I know you lost someone personal in that one."

"... I'd rather not talk about it," Tristan said, his eyes narrowing at the blonde, then rubbing his eyes.

"I understand."

"So, where will I be staying?" Tristan asked, his eyes watching Rei run her slender fingers around the curves of the fender on his car.

"With me," Misato spoke up, smiling.

"Oooh, you're the one with the Renalt, eh? I was wondering what you were doing around here." Tristan said, as he looked over at the men removing the crates of his equipment from the plane.

"I'm your commanding officer. You will do as I say as long as you are a member of NERV. Here is your ID and papers, along with communicator." Misato gave Tristan a generic looking ID card and some papers, along with a cell phone. Tristan tossed them in the back of his car.

"Now why am I staying with you?" Tristan asked, "I'm not a little boy." He said, winking.

"We need to make sure you're not too "rowdy" around here, along with the fact that we need to keep an eye on your status as a pilot. Asuka and Shinji will be staying with me as well."

Misato grabbed her keys. "C'mon, let's go."

"Who wants to ride with me?" Tristan asked, popping open the passenger side door on the RX-7.

"ME ME ME ME ME!" The redhead yelled, jumping at the opportunity.

"Sold to the lovely redhead!" Tristan said, putting the sunglasses back down. Rei looked hurt, but Tristan gave her a thumb up and smiled at her. She nodded and walked over to Ritsuko's jeep.

"Ow, my fucking head!" Asuka yelled in English.

"Got to watch out for that rollcage!" Tristan said with a grin, and started the car back up, listening to the smooth rotary engine hum.

"Alright, let's head back to the place. Asuka, your stuff will be moved back in the house, along with Shinji's,." Misato yelled over Tristan revving the engine of the RX-7. She got into her own car with Shinji in tow and drove off, Tristan ready to follow.

"Fun time!" Tristan yelled and put in one of his multi-platinum albums on the car stereo. It didn't sound nearly as good as a decent amp or his headphones, but he would have to deal with the sub par results of the horrible interior acoustics of the RX-7.


"Are your tires okay after doing that?!" Asuka said, dazed at the beautiful drift techniques that Tristan was applying through the turns as they pulled in the driveway of their new abode.

"Probably not," He grinned and opened the door for himself. "We're here!"
Tristan knew that he was in a tough situation when he got to the Japanese-style house that he was going to be staying in. After parking his RX-7 behind Misato's car, he looked around and entered the house after removing his shoes to remain somewhat kosher with their culture.

"So... This is the new home?" Tristan thought as he tried to remember what his parents would think of him now. His mother was an employee of NERV 2 in Nevada shortly before her death when NERV2 went up in a complete crater with Unit 04. She was quite proud of her work on Unit 04, but Tristan never knew exactly what she was doing there. He sighed and entered the door where Asuka, Shinji, and Misato were waiting.

"So, where's MY stuff?" Tristan said, looking around the room and the amount of tatami that was in it. That was going to change, he thought to himself and hummed a little melody out from his last CD.

"Well, it'll be here by tonight!" Misato stuttered, in between bites of a generic japanese snack food.

"Good! This place is so inspiring to my creativity and simply must have my sequencer and my synthesizers to comform for this place! In fact, I'll be right back!" Tristan said, running back outside, without putting on his shoes.

"Where is he going?" Shinji asked while turning to the plasma monitor TV screen that covered the south wall. Asuka was watching the RACE channel, her true love in life.

"Could you change that?" Shinji asked Asuka, who simply gave the remote to Shinji and leaned her chin on her knees, thinking of Tristan and how handsome he was. Shinji changed the channel to the "Entertainment and Fashion" channel and some old crow was yelling about the latest in hats.

"Don't you think those are so precious?" Shinji asked to no one in particular.

Before she could get too deep in thought, Tristan came back in with a laptop that looked like it had gone through three World Wars. The cover had various stickers in the middle (one of them reading off HELLO KITTY, which only Misato understood) and duct tape on the corners.

"This is the center of my work!" Tristan proudly exclaimed and placed it on the floor, opening the cover. The insides of the laptop were beat, but still working.

"Wow, I'm, like... so impressed!" Asuka said, not knowing what it really was, but knowing that it was probably something important. And she knew that she did not want to displease Tristan.

"Woah cool! It's a completely built up analogue synthesizer emulator!" Shinji said, pointing at the lit screen where dozens of knobs were covering it.

"This thing kept me busy the whole time while I was flying over on the plane!" Tristan said, pointing at the sequence work that he had made.

"That wouldn't have been the only thing that would've kept you busy if I was around.." Misato chuckled to herself.

"Oooh! Saucy!" Tristan said while grinning, showing off his white teeth.

Asuka frowned at this, as she was not the type to let someone that she felt attached to so much go free. "Ahem, can we get to business?" she asked, pointing at the large number of boxes which held mostly the contents of her things, along with some of Shinji's.

"Fine.. fine..." Misato said, throwing her jacket onto a chair in the corner. "At least the place is furnished."

"Hey, what's in the fridge?" Tristan asked, walking over to where the kitchen was. It was empty, spare a small welcoming gift of some fruit. Tristan wasn't so fond of the apples that were provided and grabbed an orange, peeling it slowly on the table.

As he began to peel the orange, Asuka slowly walked to the door frame and leaned against it casually.

"So what do you think?" Asuka said, eyeing Tristan peeling the orange.

"I think it's quaint, in its own way. I miss my apartment though, but people like you are more than enough to make up for it, I'm sure it will be." He replied, not really thinking about what he was saying. He had been alone for over a year now, touring what was left of the world after Second Impact.

"Really?" Asuka said. "I haven't even known you an hour yet."

"Well, er," Tristan scratched his head, and tried to think of something to reply back with besides wanting to sleep with her. He threw a couple of pieces of orange in his mouth, with his long fingers delicately holding each piece.

"Guys, we have to go over to NERV, right now!" Misato yelled, pulling on a set of pants which she had pulled out a box of.

"Nice underwear." Tristan commented to her in particular. Misato merely yanked her pants up and tightened the belt, running outside to her car.

"Well, Mr. Delecour, shall we?" Asuka asked, pulling her hair back loosely.

"Of course," As Tristan threw the peeling into the trash, and grabbing the laptop.


"So I see we have our new pilot here," Gendo Ikari said from up above NERV's main computer systems, the MAGI.

"How are you, Sir?" Tristan yelled up to his commanding officer.

"Not well. You were not supposed to have been called here, but I'm sure you're a bad enough to save us!" Gendo said, pulling at his graying beard.

"Well, I'm here now, sir!"

"That is not the main issue, it's the fact that we're finding blue patterns dispite the fact that we haven't had one in over seven years."

Tristan remembered what had happened over seven years ago and turned his head away.

"Yes, we were surpised to have found Unit 04 as well."

"Well, duh!" Tristan thought to himself.

"Shinji, Asuka, Rei, you all know why you were called to return here. If Unit 03 was not such a catastrophic disaster, we would have called Toji back, but unfortunately, he was lost in an accident."

Shinji remembered that night well. It had been over three years, but the night that Toji had decided to drink and then ride his motorcycle way too fast for his own good, flying right into a building in Tokyo three. And he had just gotten him to open up...

"Yes, I know, sir!" Shinji also had the event with Unit 03 etched in his mind forever more.

"Tristan, I want you to get in Unit 04 and show us the usage of the S2 core."

"But I've never piloted before!"

"... That's the point. You are going to pilot Unit 04 for us."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Tristan saluted and followed the NERV employee to the ready room.


"Mm.. Nice and tight!" Tristan snickered and scractched his thigh with the gloved hand. The hair clips seemed useless, but they had him wear them anyways.

"Come this way, Delecour!" A man in fatigues lead him to a large cylinder shaped object and opened a hatch. "Good luck, sir!"

"... Thanks?" Tristan said as he sat down in the seat. Red lighting filled the cylinder and he grabbed the handles. "Yaay! Happy time in EVA again!"

"Welcome to your first true mission," A screen popped up with the blonde in three-d, hovering to Tristan's right. "There will be LCL link fluid filling your plug shortly." she said in English.

"Okay." Tristan said, feeling the liquid cover his chin, spilling into his mouth. "Japanese LCL tastes funny. And I thought you spoke Japanese?"

"You'll get used to it," Ritsuko said, holding a cat figurine. "You'll feel a slight shifting, but that's just you being inserted into your Evangelion. It won't be long before we'll have you launched. The system has a translator that works realtime with voice acoustics and various other factors. I'll explain it to you later."

Within the filling of the cylinder, the whole unit felt like it was sliding downwards.

The whole cockpit lit up with english statistics like damage, direction, weapon systems, and a three dimensional model of the silver eva.

"Nice... Nice... We're working well!" Tristan said to himself, not knowing that he was being watched on the large screen by the people he just met.

"Preparing Unit 04 for activation! Will be engaged as soon as surface breach!"

"Well, let's hope that NERV2 won't happen here, because that would really suck-diddly-uck!" Gendo said while reviewing Tristan's files.


"04 has reached surface! Commencing activation of Unit 04 and S2 core!" Misato called out to the operators. "Check those restraints!"

"All restraints functional!"

"Release the restraints!" Ritsuko ordered.


"Hey, this thing seems to be cool!" Tristan said, seeing the outside forests of Japan. The activation screen appeared about two inches in front of his nose and dissapeared quickly. Suddenly, power went out and he felt the whole Unit 04 fall over into the mountain side.

"S2 core not activating!" A technician reported.

"Well why not!?" Gendo demanded to know, holding back anger. Unit 04 was to be his new key of everything, including releasing Yui, along with getting his record played all over the air waves.

"Unknown sir- wait, something is not right!"

In the cylinder it was dark and the warm LCL fluid was not comforting the lone pilot.

"Did we have to fall over like that?" He asked to himself before the entire cockpit was filled with a bright light.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled, grabbing at the controls which were not responding at all. "What's going on here!?" he yelled again, when the screens went back to normal.

"Just a small problem!" Ritsuko said, watching the ratio of Tristan and Unit 04. "Your EVA wasn't quite ready for our systems."


"Hey, there it goes!" Tristan yelled as the screen popped up in a hexagonal shape saying that the S2 core was activated. His EVA promptly fell over, again.

"Delecour's sync ratio is falling rapidly!" Maya yelled, watching the bar decrease.

"What's going on, Tristan?" Misato asked through the communcator.

"I don't know?!" he said, looking around and trying to get up.

"What's the status!?" Ritsuko asked Maya.

"He's almost being rejected!" Maya yelled, watching the bar graphs come dangerously close to absolute minimum.

"I still can't get up!" Tristan whined.

"You suck Tristan!" Asuka yelled, watching the silver EVA wiggle helplessly on the ground. Shinji and Rei nodded in agreement. "I can't believe I wanted to sleep with you after only knowing you for ten minutes!" Everyone looked at Asuka. She simply shrugged it off.

"But I really don't suck! And that hurt!" Tristan yelled and pulled at the butterfly handles helplessly.

Suddenly, all of the screens in NERV popped up with an alert. A foreign entity twice the size of the EVA's had appeared opposite of Unit 04.

"What is that?! Switch cameras to camera four and seven!"

The screens showed the beast with its rather strange biomechanical features that were covered with a smooth gel that resembled a human, if not for the large ribbons attached to the back and the head that was very irregularly shaped. Its mouth showed jagged teeth and it drooled an acid onto the ground.

"Get to your EVA's now!" Misato commanded to Shinji, Asuka, and Rei. "This is not a test!"

"You think? Now I get to be the winner boy! Tee hee!" Shinji said, running to get his plug suit on. "And I so like those tight plug suits now!"

"Get him down from there!" Ritsuko yelled, while the new creature started to plod over to Unit 04.

"Unit 04 is not responding," a technician replied, furiously typing into the terminal. "We already pulled the umbilical and it's running delta wavelength. And pro wrestling moves are being carried out for no particular reason on Unit 04!"

"FUCK!" Ritsuko yelled, pulling at her hair.


"Oh shit," Tristan said, pulling more at the sticks, getting a faint movement. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." As the beast drew nearer and dripped acid through the ground, Tristan began to think about all the things that happened through his life. The people he had met. The women he had yet to swoon. The thrills of victory. The agonies of defeat. The loss of his mother those seven years ago.

"But I don't want to die yet! I'm to beautiful to die!" Tristan whined, and wrapped himself into a ball.

The beast was right on top of him when it started to drool on the back of Unit 04, slowly starting to eat through the back armor.

"Aaagh!" Tristan felt his back sear with pain. He grabbed the sticks again and pushed all the buttons. Nothing was working like back in the testing lab. He was so good back in the lab. They gave him presents there.

The pain was increasing, and he felt himself losing conciousness. His vision went white as he knew this was the end.


"Don't give up, Tristan! Fight, Tristan! Fight for everlasting peace!" A familiar voice said through the whiteness.

"But I can't! I'm not getting anywhere!" Tristan yelled towards the voice. "I like, suck and stuff!"

"I will be there..."

"Wait.. Is that you mom?" Tristan yelled and the whiteness started to fade.


"WHY AREN'T THOSE EVA'S OUT THERE?!" Misato screamed as she watched the new creature pick up Unit 04 and throw it across into a side of a mountain, then put Unit 04 into a Million Dollar Dream, followed by a Camel Clutch.

"We were supposed to have two weeks to defrost Unit 00, Unit 01, and Unit 02!" The technician yelled, machinery blasting in the background. "We're trying our best here! Unit 00 should be ready in five minutes!"

"I don't have five minutes! We do not have five minutes! Humanity does not have five minutes! We are going to all die if you do not get those EVA's operational with the next two minutes!" Misato screamed, throwing the headpiece across the room.

"Tristan are you still there?" Ritsuko said, concerned as the armor on Unit 04 was stronger than the previous versions, but had a few weak points that were being exploited by this new creature. She was not getting any response from Tristan.


"Mom?! Mom!?!" Tristan yelled, and pulled at the controls. Suddenly everything came together for Tristan and he knew what he had to do. The creature was plodding back over to him and he concentrated. But nothing was happening. "Come on!" he thought, and the ribbons shot out at his EVA, grasping the arm joints and lifting it high in the air.

"... Shit." Tristan said once more, and felt himself lose all hope, when Unit 04 stiffened up, its mouth opening to show its jagged red teeth.

It grabbed the creatures tentacles with its hands, clawing at them with an unheard of speed and strength with the EVA series.

"It's you, isn't it..." He thought, thinking of the times he had with his mother back when he was younger.


"What the..." Everyone in NERV looked up at the screen as Unit 04 screamed much unlike Unit 01, and began to claw at the unidentified creature.

"I thought Yui was the only one, Gendo," Fuyutsuki said, to Gendo who was watching with a look of interest.

"I obviously underestimated how kick-ass Tristan Delecour is!" Gendo remarked cooly, turning a page in the CD booklet of Tristan's nonstop MEGAMIX CD.


Limbs were strew everywhere as Unit 04 began to hack away at the creature with its fists, acid slashing up and hitting the armor of Unit 04. The silver EVA could not be stopped and it began maniacally tearing away at the flesh of the creature which screamed in a sense of agony, if there could be one. It began to convulse, but Unit 04 didn't stop until it got to the core where it found an entry plug shaped item.

Whether Unit 04 was being piloted still by Tristan, or the EVA had taken control of itself, it was unknown. All connections were severed to NERV and it had its own power supply.

NERV's staff sat in awe as the EVA destroyed the plug by shoving it into its jagged teeth, acid burns all over its armor. The plug disintigrated and turned to dust in Unit 04's mouth.

"Unit 01 and Unit 02 are launched!" a technician yelled as Unit 01 and 02 stood in a battle formation, although Asuka's Eva wasn't responding well.

Unit 04 lurched around from the prone creature and stood up, facing the pair of EVA's with its eyes brightly shining from an unknown source. It crouched in a ready position, staring at the two other EVA's.

"Hold your position!" Misato ordered, waiting for the rogue EVA to move. "If it moves toward either of you, attack!"

Instead, Unit 04 closed its mouth, gave a thumbs up to the other two EVA's, and then waved at the cameras.

"Unit 04 returning to normal rates!" Another technician yelled, and Unit 04's information returned to screen, showing all the status of both the pilot and the EVA.

"That was... strange," Ritsuko said, noting to herself to look into Tristan's psyche file.


"I can't believe what happened!" Tristan said, idly smoothing out his still wet hair. His thin, yet muscular frame showed off through the red and silver plugsuit. "It's like I'm destroying creatures directly from a foriegn planet for a cartoon show!"

"Oh Tristan, you're so brave!" Rei said while holding up his CD. "Will you give my sole posession of love and life a signature?"

"Rei, the only signature you're ever going to get from me is half a DNA signature!" Tristan laughed, and signed her CD anyways. He also put the cellphone number on it, for later.

Ritsuko choked on her coffee, but no one else seemed to get the joke, or come on line, for that matter.

"So were you controlling the EVA while it was in that mode?!" Asuka yelled, wanting to know how Tristan was such a good pilot.

"Mm... Maybe yes, maybe no. I'll tell you a little later, if you want." Tristan said to Asuka, eyeing her form under her plugsuit.

"Delecour, you are to report to Ikari's office immediately!" An announcement came up ove the PA system.

"Looks like I'm being paged!" Tristan said, while running off with his plugsuit still on. "I'll talk later!"


"Wow, you certainly are kickass!" Gendo said, offering Tristan a drink.

"I know! I am the best pilot ever!" Tristan said, drinking down the liquid. "That's what Mom says!"

"Tell me Tristan, do you know what the whole point of NERV is?" Gendo asked, shooing Fuyutsuki away from cleaning up an empty glass.

"To defend the world against those pesky angels!" Tristan said, raising his fist.

"Yes, yes, but we've expanded on that within the last few years. We're also merchandizing, producing CD's, and making a boatload on models of EVA's." Gendo explained, having Fuyutsuki bring out charts showing how NERV was making money.

"Ooh! That cute little model of my EVA is so cool! Can I have one?" Tristan asked, not paying attention to Gendo.

"Only if you tell me how you pilot so well!" Gendo asked, "and then I'll give you this model of you AND an RC version of your car!"

"No way!" Tristan said, gaping at them both. "Well, it's easy. Mom's in there and I just go 'Yo yo yo! Let's get synchrolicious!', and BANG! We've got contact!" Tristan said, knowing that it really wasn't like that, but it worked anyways.

"You really are the most badass pilot!" Gendo said, and Fuyutsuki cheered.

"Don't thank me, thank my righteous skills!" Tristan said, knowing that he was going to so score tonight.


"So were you scared at all Tristan," Asuka asked from her five point harness in the Sparco seat in the RX-7, "I know I would've been because I suck at piloting now."

"Well, the secret is... You have to love your mommy!" Tristan said in jest.

"Oh shut up! I hate my mother! EVA's are big robots!"

"With a soft chewy Mommy core!" Tristan said in response.

"I still don't think you're right, but I have enough issues to sink a ship," Asuka said, looking out to the window as Tristan gripped through the mountain road with unparalleled ease.


"Yay! Let's all party because Tristan is the best and everything!" Misato said opening a can of beer. "But we can't party too much because you've all got school tommorow!"

"Oh no!" Tristan yelled, and proceeded to play another NONSTOP UPLIFTING DANCE TRIP on his Technics 1200mkII's.

"We're just so lucky to have him around!" Shinji said, drinking a wine cooler. "I wouldn't know what we'd do with out him now!" he added with a flip of his wrist.

"Yes, he is just so cool!" Asuka said, admiring him as he mixed track after track of PROGRESSIVE TRANCE. He was just so perfect in every way that she could ever want a man. Unfortunately this made her very nervous around Delecour, so she could never quite know what a cool guy he actually was.


Outside the house, a figure lurked, and peered through the windows of the house that they were living in and examined Tristan's RX-7. He took aim with a pistol, aiming at the car, only to stop himself from shooting. He knew that he would have to save it for later. On the hood of the car, he put his calling card on it, which was a CD. To know that he was a threat made him even more happy.


Tristan put on a chillout CD on his setup and got back down from the decks as things started to wind down. Asuka was hammered and leaning against the wall, looking at him through bleary eyes. Misato and Shinji were unconcious on the couch, Misato making groping motions at Shinji, and Shinji batting them away.

"Hey Asuka, you okay?" Tristan asked, with a sense of concern for the poor girl.

"All I want.... is.. to have.. have.. a ch-child of my own...." Asuka said and fell to the floor.

"Okay Asuka, you've had too much stuff to drink!" Tristan said, picking her up and supporting her to the bathroom where he put her in the shower and turned on the water, complete with clothing on.

"What are you doing?!" She screamed, her hair hanging in her face. "I'm f-f-f-fine!" she yelled and supported herself on the wall.

"Enuck-chuck!" Tristan yelled and pulled her out of the shower. "Strip and put the towel on so you can go to sleep."

"Weaaaaait I don't feel so hot.." Asuka said, and bent over the toilet to throw up.

"Oh, I hate Japanese beer," Tristan said, sighing, and flinging the towel over Asuka while she vomited her beer. "I'll be back in a while, going for a drive."

"Will you... Come back to me?" She asked looking up.

"Yes, but not when you're barfing dinner!" Tristan laughed and closed the door, while Asuka resumed vomiting.


Going out to his car, Tristan noticed something that was terribly wrong. Someone had been there and left something on top of his car. Now normally this wasn't much of an issue to him, but he saw the small jewel case on the hood, he knew that there was only one person who would dare do that...

"Oakenfold..." Tristan said, and crushed the CD with his hand, getting splinters of plastic in his right hand. "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, WAITING AND WATCHING FOR ME!" he yelled into the air, only to be yelled at by his neighbors to "please be quiet."