So I wrote this for my BBBFF (..Forever).
I own nothing only a great friendship for many years to come...I hope :)
Oh I do own all the mistakes and errors as this is unBeta'd.
Oh and I hope you know my dear I am writing this now at 4:30 am!
Happy Easter Baby Boy!
I seriously hate this part,
Sitting here signing my name over and over again.
Don't get me wrong I know I wouldn't be the #1 Gay Erotica author without my fans, I'm just not comfortable with public appearances.
My fans seem to think my character is an extension of me, Dean McCarty, billionaire, explorer and playboy.
I have to chuckle to myself, they couldn't be more wrong,I'm quiet the opposite, it's pathetic, whilst Dean is saving the world and fucking every piece of ass in it,I'm sat in my cabin up in the Olympic Peninsula, hiding behind the safety of my computer.
Its not that I'm anti-social, its just that when you've been burned (not literally) as I have its hard to trust anyone.
Riley was amazing, one of my biggest fans, setting up a fan page on both Twitter and Tumblr.
We spent a lot of time together, I leant on him, ran new ideas past him,loved him.
When he said he had been transferred back to New York I thought nothing of it, that was until a few months later I was invited to a book signing, very much like this one 'In his shadow' was a book about a failed lover who turned to writing to live out his fantasies, it was a story about me.
I didn't pursue legal action, it would only spotlight that the book was indeed about me, so I moved to the cabin 24/7 closed the door behind me and did what I always did best..hide!
The good thing about that is I turned out not one but two Best Sellers.
I lived through Dean McCarty like the pathetic excuse for a man I was, but I was happy, wasn't I?
I'm brought back out of my dark memories by the clearing of a throat.
"I'm sorry" I mumble, not bothering to raise my eyes I take the copy of my new book 'Unconditional' where Dean finally finds love in an old friend.
"That's fine, are you okay you seem a little pre occupied if you don't mind me saying so?" I don't recognise the accent, but its tone is soft and sincere.
I lift my eyes to see a man before me, he's a little over 5'8'' , dark hair and the deepest brown pools I instantly drown in.
Shaking my head I click open my pen "Who should I make this out to?" I smile and his cheeks tinge pink.
"Matt" he blushes and my stomach knots.
So I do my usual cursive writing adding a x at the end, I hope it's not too forward of me.
I see his eyes widen as he looks down at what I've written before he turns to walk away, I've written nothing different than I usually write on anyone else's except for the kiss at the end.
Hope your dreams take you
on journeys to ignite your soul.
I watch as he traces the page with his fingers like he's found some lost piece of manuscript, his face looks towards me and I am lost in his expression.
A book is thrust into my face, causing me to break eye contact, I sign it minus the anecdote, because some people just don't deserve it.
After signing a few more copies, one of which is to a middle aged woman with dark red hair who makes me laugh, I look up for him, he's gone and it bothers me, but I don't understand why?
We wrap things up for the night and I say good bye to the organisers before making my way out to the little Chinese place I saw on my way in.
Its busy, and there are only a few seats left, I toy with the idea of getting take out instead.
"Busy huh?" I recognise the voice and smile, looking over my shoulder.
"Think I might just get take out, hate crowded places"he shrugs.
"Me too" I reply turning myself round to face him.
"You staying at the Sequoia Lodge?"
I shake my head "I wish, they only pay out for travel, we have to find accommodation ourselves"
"Yeah, I'm staying at the Washington Inn, its big just not as fancy but that's cool" I stare at my feet I don't want him to think I'm all diva about wanting a fancy hotel room, I miss my cabin.
"That's were I'm staying" he smiles and I can't help but smile in return.
"What can I get you two?" asks the man behind the counter.
He thinks I'm with him, that we're together, could we be, should I ask him?
I turn back to him and his eyes are bright, is he thinking the same thing?
"You want to..erm." I begin and my mouth is suddenly dry, I shift my weight from foot to foot, scratching the fine hairs on the back of my neck, why is this so fucking hard?
Oh yeah: Riley!
"Yeah..I mean if that's what you where going to ask?" he shrugs
"Yeah..erm" I stumble
"Well that's if you want to?" he smiles hopefully.
I smile inwardly, he's just as nervous as I am and it's kind of cute.
We order our food and fall into easy conversation, he's over from England and works in finance, he's spent most of his savings on this trip, to meet me!
We have intervals of silence, but it's not awkward neither of us feeling the need to fill the gaps with idle chatter.
As we walk back to the Inn the dark haired woman is leaving she looks between us and smiles, shaking her head. I really liked her.
"Erm yours or mine?" I ask silently praying he'll say mine, I'm still unsure that he doesn't have an ulterior motive.
"Would you feel more comfortable in yours?"
"Yeah, please" my voice little more than a whisper."Thanks"
"That's okay it must be hard when your famous, knowing who to trust n all that?"
I nod because I have no answer, it's like he already knows me, its kind of comforting.
He whistles as I lead him into my suite, it has a large main room with a dry bar, bedroom and a bathroom, nothing compared to the Lodge, but its what I'm used to apart from the bar that is, at home its a small kitchen.
"Make yourself at home, I'm just going to change, I hate dressing up for these things" I laugh tugging on my tie.
He sits tentatively on the settee as I disappear into the bedroom.
I change into jeans and a striped sweater, as its still chilly.
When I arrive back out he's emptied the bags and has found two beers.
"Hope you don't mind?" he smiles as he passes me one of the beers.
Its delectably ice cold and as I take a long drink the bubbles fall down the neck of the glass and without thinking, well okay maybe I did think about it a little I lick the neck of the bottle.
His breathing hitches and he smiles taking his own long drink from his bottle.
"Mmm" he moans and add to that the bobbing of his Adams apple as he swallows, my jeans tighten.
I blush as he catches me staring.
I cant believe Emmett Cullen asked me to join him for dinner.
When he had signed my book today and added a kiss, I had to find out if her had done it in everyone else's.
Of course he does you idiot..my subconscious scoffed.
Working up the courage to ask someone I saw the middle aged woman he was laughing with sat having a coffee, her name was Kar, she loved Emmett's work and he had inspired her to write her own book, I looked at her inscription it was exactly the same, apart from the x.
She smiled patting me on the arm saying maybe my journey was about to begin.
I had laughed it off until I saw him again in the Chinese, maybe she was right?
And now here I am sat in the bedroom suite of THE Emmett Cullen.
He's nothing like his leading man, he's shy and very private, and single!
Yeah cos you are totally his type..my subconscious chides.
Mentally telling it to shut the fuck up, I decide to empty out our food, we don't need plates as they are in containers, I look for forks just in case he is as inept as I am with chopsticks.
I find the mini bar and the fridge is full, both red and white wines and beers.
I opt for the beers, although I would usually choose a nice crisp Pinot Grigio I think he would go for the beers.
He looks stunning when he walks out of the bedroom, in simple jeans and a sweater.
"Hope you don't mind?" I smile and pass him one of the beers.
He smiles and takes a long drink, the bubbles fall down the neck of the glass and he licks the neck of the bottle.
My jeans constrict and my breath catches in my throat.
Is he teasing me?
Well two can play at that game I take my own long drink from my bottle.
"Mmm" I moan, maybe a little too dramatically, but it works, he's staring at me and when I arch my brow he knows he's been caught and he blushes.
He clears his throat, his demeanour taking a full 180 and I wonder what I've done wrong.
"Food's getting cold" I murmur grabbing a fork and digging into my Singapore noodles.
He looks torn, he eyes the empty seat beside me but chooses to sit Indian style on the floor in front of the fire.
We eat for a while and I catch him looking at me now and again as I slurp my noodles.
I slurp in one particularly juicy noodle and the sound I make is embarrassing, I look towards him and he's stifling a laugh.
"Not funny" I mumble trying to chew my food.
"It is from were I am" he laughs.
I stick out my tongue to capture the sweet juices that now paint my chin and his face falls, he's watching with hooded eyes as I lick around my mouth collecting the sauce.
"You've missed a spot" he whispers his voice barely audible.
"Just at the corner, no that corner" he laughs as I deliberately miss it.
He stands laughing, picks up a napkin and moves towards me, he may be built like a bear but his muscles are taut even under his sweater.
We are almost eye to eye as he wipes the sauce from the corner of my mouth, his thumb lingering on my skin a little longer than necessary.
"I'm sorry" he turns to sit back down but I catch his wrist, if I don't at least try I will always regret the 'what if'.
I stand as he turns back towards me, he's taller than I am so I have to look up at him.
His eyes seem pained, like he's warring with himself, Oh baby don't over think things, I know he hurt you, whoever he was but I promise I won't.
And I have to tell him exactly that.
"I wont hurt you" I whisper.
He looked so funny slurping in his noodles, we where comfortable in our conversation then I had to go spoil it.
My hand lingered on his skin a little too long, but it felt right.
Then he had to go say those four words that broke down every wall I had tried so hard to build up.
"I wont hurt you" he whispered.
I pulled his chin up to look at me, ghosting his lips with mine, he whimpered.
"Can I kiss you?"
He nodded, so I did.
His lips moved against mine slowly, no tongues just soft passionate kisses.
I moved round so I was sat on the arm of the settee not breaking our kiss until we both needed air.
"Wow" he smiled
"Yeah" I laughed "Wow"
"So what now?" he looked nervously at his feet.
"We finish our food", he nodded looking a little disappointed.
I laughed softly leaning in for a lingering kiss "And then I'm taking you to bed"
His breathing hitched as he crashed his mouth to mine, his tongue caressing my bottom lip waiting for permission to enter, parting my lips he teased the tip of his tongue to mine, he tasted of noodles and beer and him.
"I'm suddenly not hungry" he laughed playing with the short hairs on the back of my neck.
I laughed "Neither am I, but I've got to tell you something baby"
He pulled back a little his eyes wide.
"I'm no Dean McCarty"
He laughed, a full belly laugh that made my insides hum.
"That's okay baby cos I'm no Jack Bauer"
"Aww damn really because that guy is seriously fucking hot" I laugh pulling him into me.
I stand taking his hand and lead him into the bedroom, I'm no longer nervous knowing he knows enough about me to proceed.
Turning towards him I pull on his hoodie he lifts his arms so I can shed him of that and his T shirt underneath.
He's muscular, but not over buff I can tell he looks after himself but still enjoys his food, I really don't like false men, bronzed and bleached.
The only reason I'm like I am is because of the walks I take up in the forests and the wood I have to cut for my burner.
He pulls on the hem of my sweater and soon we are both lying, side by side , naked, our hands ghosting each others bodies memorising each dip and freckle.
I'm lying here,
with Emmett fucking Cullen, and he's looking at me like I'm an Adonis.
Our hands explore each others bodies, he's taut and rippled muscles ripple as my fingers, feather light trace the contours of his abs.
I lean in to kiss him, and he falls back on his bed, pulling me with him.
We make out like two high charged hormonal teenagers until we are literally panting for air.
His hand moves down our bodies until it finds my erection, it's painfully hard as he takes it into his hand with his own and I have to look, our two purple heads peeping out from his bear like paws.
Throwing my head back he begins to pump our shafts together, our pre cum making the perfect lubrication, as his hand slides effortlessly up and down twisting on the upstroke and thumbing our slits on the down.
I can already feel my balls tightening, I'm so close.
"So..close" I whimper.
"Me too" and he quickens his pace, pushing his tongue into my mouth, so he's literally fucking my mouth with it.
That's all I need and as he swallows my moans, he jerks too as we cum over one another.
We lie panting for a second our bodies covered by a thin sheen of sweat.
I nod because my brain to mouth function has momentarily abandoned me.
He laughs pulling me up and we walk on shaky legs to his en suite, which I have to say is fucking huge.
Wetting a wash cloth he wipes both our stomachs before switching on the shower, soon the room is full of steam and we both step into the two man shower.
I allow the water to cascade over his body, watching it rivet down his fine chest before streaming over his cock making an impressive waterfall.
He catches me staring and pulls me around so my back is against his chest, grabbing the shower wash he lathers his hands up and massages the suds into my skin.
His hands are all over me and soon I'm hard again and so is he, pressing himself seductively into the crack of my ass, and I need him there, I need him inside of me.
I buck my hips back showing him without words what I want, what I crave.
After our first mind blowing orgasm, I needed to clean him up, I'd seen the shower, I knew I wanted him in there as I changed clothes when we arrived back but I didn't think I would ever actually get him in there, but now I have I can't let him go.
Washing him was the most simple yet intimate act I had ever done, I had never done this with...
I shook my head there is no way that fucker is spoiling this moment.
I tested the water to see how far he wanted to go by rubbing my dick along his crack, he bucked back telling me without words 'All the way baby'.
So I moved one of my hands down to his ass, gathering up the remnants of the shower wash I teased my middle finger against his puckered skin, pushing him down slightly.
He moaned and immediately began to ride my finger, he was so tight, I couldn't wait until he constricted around my length, milking me for all I had.
I added another finger, scissoring them, opening him up for me, I knew I was was pretty big compared to other guys and there was no way in hell I was going to hurt him.
"Condom?" he hissed.
Fuck..I'd left them in my overnight bag..What?..I like to be prepared you never know what likes going to throw at you.
He laughed as I ran back into the bedroom "I know your watching my ass" I shouted over my shoulder, he stopped laughing..haha.
Grabbing lube and a strip I headed back to the shower, where he's stood massaging his balls with one hand and stroking his dick with the other.
Spinning him round my fingers once again found their home, pumping him a few more times before I added the lube and condom to myself.
"Put your hand on the tiles" I whispered kissing the soft skin behind his ear.
He did and I lined myself up against his hole slipping in just the head, ahh fuck I was going to shoot my load he was so hot and tight.
Both letting out soft moans as I continued to sheath myself in him I stilled to allow him to adjust to my size.
"Ready" he whispered.
Pushing up on my toes I began to rock, laying open mouthed kisses on his back as I held his body to mine.
I picked up a sensual rhythm, easing out slowly to the point of almost taking myself out completely, then thrusting back in a little harder every time, he was pumping himself to the same rhythm and soon I felt his body jerk as he shot streams of cum against the black tiles of the shower.
I grunted as I felt my own impending release, thrusting harder and faster three more times and I was spent as I pulsed inside of him he whimpered and I had to hold his body up.
We washed taking our time to touch every inch of each others skin, silently we stole small kisses, knowing our evening was coming to an end.
Once dried and dressed we lay against the settee watching the flames dance in the fire.
"Last day tomorrow" he whispered.
I swallowed hard, nodding It was too soon, I wanted more time with him.
"My plane leaves at 4"
I sat up straight looking into his eyes.
"Hey it's cool" he laughed, but it was strained. "I had a perfect night, thank you" he leant over to kiss me softly.
I wasn't ready to let him go, so I pulled him onto my lap parting my lips, drinking him in.
We must have dozed off, because I woke to the shrill tone of my mobile.
I was alone, maybe he went back to his suite to change?
Flipping open my phone I groaned at the caller ID,my agent Rosie Hale, she was a ball breaker but I loved her like a sister.
"Hey Rosie , what's up?"
"Some one have a late night?" she giggled
"Like I'd tell you"
"You would and you will, I want all the detes when you get home later"
"Did you really hone me for that?"
"Actually no babe I was calling to see if those plot bunnies were reproducing anything yet?"
I should have known once I had one out she wanted another from me.
"No, not yet you'll be the first to know, now fuck off I need to go see my public" I groaned
"You know I love you right?"
Okay where's this going?
"Well why don't you take time off, time for yourself, find yourself?"
Seriously Rosie ball breaker Hale was telling me to take a vacation?
"Em, go find him, whoever it is and have some you time"
How does she do that?
Without saying goodbye I closed my phone showered dressed and was out of the door in record time, until I realised I didn't know which room he was in, and I only knew him as Matt!
Deciding I would probably see him at my reading I made my way to the convention room, it was already pretty busy and I was ushered straight to the stage.
"Ten minutes Mr Cullen" Sue the organiser smiled.
I knew which piece I wanted to read, to him!
The lights dimmed, we were each introduced and my knee bounced waiting for my turn, when it came my mouth was dry, taking a sip from my water I stood at the microphone, opening my piece of paper.
I cleared my throat "So this is just a short piece from my new book" cheers erupted all round the room.
"This has recently begun to mean something special to me"
Cue wolf whistles.
Clearing my throat again I looked down at my paper, I could see my words but they were obscured by some other writing I turned it in my hands.
There in a neat scrawl was a note.
I had the perfect night, thank you.
Sorry I left without saying goodbye but it would have been too hard.
For what it's worth.
I love you.
My vision blurred, he'd gone, left me.
A few coughs brought my eyes back to my expectant audience, wiping the few tears that had fallen I looked back at the note.
A small smile playing on my lips.
"Okay sorry about that, writers block and all that"
"So I thought I'd give you a special treat with a few words from my new book"
There were gasps and some applause.
"What's it called" someone shouted.
Looking back at the note I smiled "One Perfect Night"
I closed my eyes picturing his deep brown pools.
I was warring with myself, I had been hurt before
could I really trust him, this new stranger that had walked into my life,
taken over my mind, body and soul?
Then he whispered those four words that shattered every brick of my wall.
"I won't hurt you"
My voice broke on the last four words, he hadn't hurt me,
He had revived me.
There was a rapturous applause and I smiled.
Six months later...
I still think about my perfect night, the night I lay with Emmett Cullen, the man, not the world famous author, just the man.
I'm making my morning coffee when the post arrives.
Shuffling through the hallway I retrieve the envelopes.
Throwing them on the table I sit.
"Bills, bills , junk.."
I throw the ones I don't want on the counter, the last envelope has a US postmark on it.
Turning it around in my hands I open it, out falls an invitation card.
My hands tremble as I read the note that is attached.
Dear Mr Cox,
I do hope I have found the right person you are not an easy man to find.
Anyway I would love to meet the man from my boys 'Perfect Night', as he seems unable to bring himself to forget about you.
I would be honoured if you would accept the enclosed invitation, all expenses will be paid for you.
Hale Publishing house.
I turn over the card and read it, I can't stop the smile that grows on my face.
You are cordially invited to the private book signing of
'One Perfect Night'
by award wining author
She's left a number to contact her...
A week later...
I hate this shit,
Rosie is acting weird and I'm wondering whether she finally found Mr Right?
As promised its only a small gathering, the lights dim and I stand opening the book in my hand.
I take a cleansing breath.
We washed taking our time to touch every inch of each others skin,
silently we stole small kisses knowing our evening was coming to an end.
Once dry and dressed we lay against the settee watching the flames dance in the fire.
"Last day tomorrow" he whispered.
I swallowed hard, I needed more time with him.
"My plane leaves at 4"
I sat up straight looking into his eyes, tears threatening to fall.
"Hey it's cool...
My voice broke...
The room was silent, then a throat cleared in the darkness.
"I had a perfect night" he whispered...