I do not own Natsume Yūjin-Chō. Tanuma's Point of View in this drabble.

Worrying And Wondering

By wonderlandisanillusion


I worry about Natsume a lot. Sometimes I have nightmares about him being eaten Ayakashi or about him being taken away. In a couple of my nightmares Natsume is protecting me up by having his body over mine or having me behind him and the worst feeling in the world is knowing I'm unable to do anything to protect him.

I wonder what kind of qualifications a person needs to become an exorcist? If I was an exorcist I would be able to help him instead of being a burden and I could protect him. I want to help him, I want to protect him, and I want to be there with him. It hurts that I'm unable to help him and I do not want it to create a wall between us. There are things I want to ask him, but I'm not sure how far I should intrude and I do not want there to be a wall between us.

"Tanuma, What's wrong?" Natsume asked, his voice full of concern, and those worried eyes focused on me.

"Nothing." I told him. Natsume nodded his head, he glanced away, and I noticed his eyes went wide for a moment.

"I'll see you later, Tanuma." He said to me and he hurried away. It must have been an Ayakashi, I walked home, and leaned against the wall. I can not do anything to help him. I really do wonder what kind of qualifications a person needs to become an exorcist. Maybe I should ask Natori the next time I see him? Of course not around Natsume...

It is hard being unable to do anything to help him. If I was an exorcist like Natori then I would be able to help Natsume, but I'm not an exorcist. If Natsume had not told me about being able to see Ayakashi then I wouldn't know anything, I wouldn't worry so much, I wouldn't feel so helpless, and there wouldn't be a wall between us.

Natsume was kind enough to tell me about being able to Ayakashi, but I do not want there to be a wall between us because of it. I'm not very good with people.


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