I know it's been done before, but I thought it would be fun to write. ^.^ And my apologies if Harry couldn't actually get portraits of his loved ones after they've died, but just roll with it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"Mummy, where do babies come from?"
Ginny froze and let out a stream of curses under her breath. Why her? She glanced around. "Har-"
"Sorry, Gin," Harry leaned over and gave her a peck on the forehead. "I promised the boys I'd teach them some Quidditch. James is a fine Chaser."
Ginny scowled at Harry's retreating back. Bloody coward. With a sigh, she turned to face her daughter. "What was that, Lily?" she feigned ignorance.
"I said," Lily Luna paused from her wizard coloring book to look up at her mother, "where do babies come from?"
Ginny took a deep breath and sat down on the couch next to her. "Why do you ask, dear?"
"James was talking to Albus about it, and when I asked, he said for me to ask you."
Curse that eight year old.
"Oh, um," Ginny shifted in her seat. "What did James say to Albus?"
Lily wrinkled her nose. "Something about cells and stuff, I don't know. He said he learned it from Daddy."
Ginny sighed. Curse The-Savior-Of-The-Wizarding-World, Defeater-Of-Lord-Voldemort, and soon to be Man-Who's-Death-Came-By-Angry-Wife. "Oh."
"So?" Lily looked at her mother expectantly. Ginny cleared her throat.
"Lily, don't listen to James, always up for a joke, your brother."
Lily crossed her arms. "But Albus agreed with James!"
Merlin, was she going to have to curse every bloody male in this house?
"Alright," Ginny paused. "Have you ever heard of the owl who brings-?"
"It's a lie, Mummy," Lily interrupted. "I heard Uncle Ron telling Rose, he said so."
Oh my Gryffindor…Ginny mentally prepared her wand.
"The doxies and the nifflers?"
"Uncle George talked to Fred, and when I asked, he even told me it's a lie! He started going off about witches and wizards, but Aunt Angelina stopped him-"
Did the women only have the sense?
Ginny pressed a hand to her forehead. "Okay. Alright. I understand." She peered at her daughter. "You know you're named after a flower, right?"
"Just like Rose, and I'm also named after Auntie Luna."
Technicalities… "Yes," Ginny nodded, "you are named after the lily flower."
"And Daddy's mum!" Lily chirped. Ginny eyed her warily.
"Yes, and Daddy's mum. And just like your Daddy's mum, you came from…" Ginny quickly searched her mind, "…a field of flowers."
Lily Luna pursed her lips. "You mean I came from the ground?"
She was awfully smart, for a five year old. "Yes, Lily," Ginny said tiredly, "you came from the ground."
Immediately realizing her mistake, Ginny backtracked. "I-no, not like that. You…you came from a seed, yeah? Er, I mean-"
"Ginny, dear," came a familiar voice from behind her, "why don't you just say what you mean?"
Ginny grit her teeth and turned around to look at the grinning portrait. "Not right now, Sirius."
"Yes, yes, I quite agree," James Potter said jauntily from the right. "With Sirius, I mean. Why not just say what-?"
"James," Lily Potter said sharply, "shut it." She gave Ginny a kind smile. "I'm rather honoured to know I came from such a wonderful place." Ginny blushed beet red as more snickers came. Lily Luna just looked on, curious. "James, Sirius," Lily said forcefully, turning to her husband and friend, "I think we should visit our other portrait."
"But why, Lily?" Sirius whined. "We just came back from there-"
"Sure, Lils," James cut off, knowing what it was like to anger her. Her screams could rival Walburga's… "Sirius and I are coming right now." Ignoring Sirius' spluttering, he turned and walked out of his portrait, following his wife. Sirius cast one forlorn look over at the two Potter females, before following his best mate.
"What did Padfoot mean?" Lily's voice cut through the ringing silence. Ginny turned to her daughter. "What did you mean?"
Ginny took a deep breath. "Are you sure you have to ask me? Why can't you ask Remus' portrait, or something?"
"Remus is at Teddy's house," Lily replied, "and James said specifically to ask you. He said that's what Daddy told him."
Keep digging your hole, Potter.
"Alright," Ginny sighed, "so it goes like this; babies come from mummy's stomach."
"Oh." Lily looked at her mother. "All of them?" There was a touch of disbelief in her voice that made Ginny smile.
"No, love," Ginny replied, "not all of them. Just you, James, and Albus. Like your friend, Hugo; he came from his mummy's stomach."
A pause. Ginny waited. "Ah," Lily Luna nodded. She beamed up at her mother. "Thanks for answering, Mummy!"
Giving her mother a quick hug, Lily jumped down, taking her coloring book. Ginny had a moment of relief before Lily Luna, pausing at the doorframe, turned back to her mother. "Mummy?"
"How does the baby get there?"
Merlin…Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. The Godric, why her? What the Salazar…