A/N: This is a story that popped into my head. Won't be too long. Yes, I know New Year's Eve has passed but I got inspired ON New Year's Day! So, just pretend I uploaded this earlier. :) It's funny how the inspiration for this actually came from a Facebook comment. :P I'll tell you what the comment was in the author's note at the end of my story. Hope you like it and please review! :)
A/N – If anyone wants information on any of my stories (like if I'm writing the next chapter yet or not) check my profile page and right at the top in italics, underlined, and in bold is the info.
Disclaimer – I do not own Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide or anything else mentioned.
*Story notes- Ned and Suzie are dating. Suzie did move for a while and did take a vacation. They already finished high school. *
*Note – There is this one song that matches this story perfectly, Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen. Sometimes I tell my readers to search up a song so they can get the feel of the story. *
Also, thank you zMIDNIGHTz for being my beta :) I think you deserve a round of applause. Lol.
Uncertainty, pain, regret, grief, sadness, guilt, hopelessness, anger, and… an ache in a broken heart…
Have you ever had to leave someone you loved? Yes? No? Maybe? Those emotions listed above are very common to feel if you have. Well, Ned is feeling every one of those emotions…
New Year's Eve –
I suddenly felt a chill run up my spine and pulled my jacket closer. Cookie saw this and raised the heat in his car, even though he knew it wasn't that cold.
"Can't believe you're really leaving." Cookie said from the driver's seat.
"It's only for a little while. I'll be here during the holidays." I replied.
"But it still won't be the same!"
"I have a great opportunity here, Cookie. Not everyone gets a chance like this." I knew Cookie heard the disinterest in my voice.
"It's all happening too fast. You just got that scholarship two months ago! Now, you're being whisked away to college in New York!"
"I still don't know how I got that scholarship. I wasn't even planning on going to NYU. I just randomly got a letter from them saying that I have a full ride scholarship. And just like that, everything changed." My voice drifted slightly.
"You don't sound too happy about that though."
"I'm just… not sure if I should be leaving."
"Do you mean leaving this place? Or leaving a particular person?" Cookie shot me a knowing look.
I turned to the window, knowing exactly what he meant by that. I stared at the airplanes taking off from the airport realizing that we were getting close. As an awkward silence came between us, I could hear my bag rattle around in the trunk. I had shipped the rest of my luggage to New York already.
Sighing deeply, I decided to answer the question.
Cookie nodded to himself.
"Suzie is ecstatic though." I added.
"Of course she is. She's going to NYU too!"
Ned shrugged his shoulders and looked back to the window.
After a few moments of silence, Cookie asked,
"Did you enjoy your going away party?"
"I did." I smiled and suddenly realized that I hadn't done that in awhile.
"Good thing we recorded it. We even got every person at the party to say a few things into the camera for you. That way, you won't forget us." Cookie smiled.
"It was a great party. Although, it would have been better if…"
"I'm sorry she wasn't there, buddy." He said with sympathy.
I sighed and said,
"It's fine. I didn't expect her to come."
"I really wish you didn't have to leave right now, though. Seth's New Year's Eve party is today."
"I wish I could go, but my flight leaves at 8pm. That's the same time the party is starting."
"I know." He said sadly.
"Sorry. I wish I could spend New Year's with everyone, but Suzie convinced NYU to give us a special tour of the college tomorrow."
"She's meeting you at the airport right?"
"Looks like we're almost there." When I turned to Cookie, he looked conflicted.
"I don't know if I should tell you this right now seeing as its kind of a bad time. I guess it doesn't really matter to you though, so I'll tell you anyways."
I listened with intent.
"I talked to Lisa earlier. She told me that… uh… Loomer is going to be at the party tonight. She heard that he is going to try to be Moze's New Year's kiss." Cookie eyed me when he said the last part. I clenched my jaw and stared at the cars passing by.
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I didn't dare take my eyes from the window. My mind went blank.
"You ok?" Cookie asked breaking the silence.
Closing my eyes momentarily, I said,
"Do you still want to keep going to the airport? Seth's party isn't too far away you know?" Cookie looked at me hopefully. I pondered the thought for what seemed like ages and finally said,
"No. Keep going."
Cookie was reluctant but kept pressing forward anyways.
I took my bag out of Cookie's trunk and turned to him.
"Well, this is it."
"I'm going to miss you buddy." He was on the verge of tears.
Cookie then stepped forward and gave me a bone crushing hug.
"Are you sure you want to leave, Ned? Leave her?"
I had to admit, those words hurt, but then I remembered what she had said to me that day I told her I was leaving.
"I broke her heart Cookie. I can't go back. She hates me."
"She doesn't hate you!"
I shook my head.
"Our lives are taking us in different directions. Maybe… she's better off without me."
"I guess there's nothing that I can say to change your mind huh?"
"Ok, then. Good luck in college, Ned. And don't forget to call and visit!" He laughed.
"I won't. Well, I better go. My flight leaves in a little over an hour and I need to get through security and stuff."
We hugged once more, then I was on my way.
As I walked through the airport, I had this feeling that I was going the wrong way, like a GPS alerting you that you have made a wrong turn. I tried to ignore this feeling.
I approached where the line started to the desk and took out the paper that had my confirmation number for my ticket. I had purchased it online a while ago. Knowing that the cost of a non-stop flight would be more expensive, I got a connecting flight to Phoenix, Arizona. From there, I'll take a flight to New York. Suzie is doing the same.
I suddenly felt like I was running away. Running away from my problems.
I reached the desk and handed my ID and paper to the lady.
"Connecting flight from Phoenix to New York?"
"Alright, here you go. Enjoy your trip, sir." She handed me the ticket.
After waiting endlessly to get through security, I headed to the gate that my ticket indicated. I sat down and checked my watch. Suzie should be getting here soon. Taking out my phone from my pocket, I tried to find something to do. I skimmed through my apps and landed on my picture gallery. There were hundreds of pictures taken during the summer of Moze and me. Even though I was dating Suzie at the time and still am, I really got close to Moze those three months.
I clicked on a particular picture of us sitting together on the steps of a playground. Even though we were too old for playgrounds, we visited it frequently in the evenings when no one was there. We would sit and talk for hours about anything and everything. Good thing Suzie was on vacation at the time. When Suzie was here, she wasn't around but still called me her boyfriend. Maybe that was just for popularity. Anyways, that summer was magical. Then my mind turned to reality and to how it is now between Moze and me. I still remember the day I told her I was leaving; and of all days, it was on Christmas.
The college had actually sent me the letter two months ago, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her until now. My parents and I had just come back from Christmas dinner with my family at my grandparent's house when I called Moze and asked to see her. She obviously was excited to see me and wasted no time in meeting me where we always did, on the back porch of her house. Even though it was getting pretty dark out, I saw her waiting for me. When I approached the steps, she stepped forward and greeted me with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. I cherished the moment and hated myself for what I was about to do.
"I missed you." She whispered.
I tried so hard not to cry. Even though we never technically confessed our feelings for each other out loud, I knew she loved me.
"I missed you too."
When we broke apart, she searched my eyes and knew something was different.
"What is it?"
I tried to say something but nothing came out. Instead, I handed her a piece of paper. She took it and read it slowly under the porch light.
"You got a scholarship?" she said excitedly, "At NYU?"
"Ned, that's great!" she hugged me once more.
She looked up and asked,
"What's wrong? Aren't you happy?" NO! My mind screamed.
After a few moments of silence, I replied,
"Suzie is going too. We're leaving on New Year's Eve to get a special tour. Moze…" This part was especially hard for me.
"I know… we have feelings for each other… but I don't think we should pursue them any further." I kept my eyes on the floorboards beneath my feet. I didn't want to see her reaction.
"I think this is a great opportunity for me. I'm… accepting the scholarship."
"You're… you're leaving with Suzie?" I heard her say. My left hand gripped the wooden rail for support.
"And when was I going to be a part of your decision?" She said, her voice quivering slightly. I had nothing to say.
"Suzie was never around for you, Ned. I thought we had something." She waited for my reply.
"Don't I matter to you at all?" Her voice rose.
"Yes! Everything!" My eyes meet hers and I saw tears running down her cheeks. At that moment, I wanted to take back everything I said. But I knew I couldn't. I knew I should have broken up with Suzie from day one so none of this would have happened. But I guess… in some way I didn't because I was afraid that things wouldn't work out between Moze and I.
"You obviously don't!" She cried. "So I guess all of those moments we had together meant nothing to you! Just answer me why, Ned. Why?" She demanded.
"Because I didn't want to lose you." I simply said.
"…You already have."
With that, she threw the now crumpled paper on the ground, ran inside her house, and slammed the door shut. I must have stayed in that spot for a good ten minutes. I now realize why I did what I did, which was unclear to me before. I was afraid to have a relationship with Moze and risk ruining our friendship. So I ran away from it. And now, I can't reverse what I have done.
End of Flashback
A/N: This isn't the final chapter! This is chapter 1 out of like 2 or 3 I haven't decided yet. Remember to stay tuned for that Facebook comment and to see what happens next ;) Please review. I think you all know how much writers crave it. Next chapter will be coming extremely soon.