Arm out to the right
Arm out to the left
Do that weird thing with leg.
Beckett let out a laugh as her attempt to copy the moves on the screen failed. As the last notes of the song ended Beckett placed her hands on her hips and took a few deep breaths. What was her score what was her score. Dammit she hadn't beaten her high score but it was still reasonable. Using the remote attached on her wrist Beckett flicked through the songs from Just Dance 3. Her Wii had been a gift from Castle after she had complained about the three men in her life's, addiction to a game console. She just didn't understand had given her grief for reading crime books aka books by Richard Castle, yet he religiously picked up a little black controller and killed off demons, aliens and beat the crap out innocent citizens in order to steal their car. Admittedly her console had sat there gathering dust for awhile until she heard a woman at yoga talking about some fitness thingy involving a board you stood on. Venturing into a game store, foreign territory, Beckett had discovered a variety of games that didn't involve violence. Well ok the games weren't violent until you got annoyed that you hadn't bet your high score. Beckett was so glad her controller came with a strap that they constantly reminded you to keep on your wrist. Otherwise she would have had to invest in more than 1 new TV. About a month ago Beckett had discovered the world of Just Dance 3. She had been sceptical at first and then ended up spending two hours on it straight, the first time she played. It was now part of her exercise regimen. If it were to hot or cold or even to dark outside to go for a run she would 'play' just dance. It worked out the whole body , depending which sing she chose and was even a little bit embarrassed to admit she had pulled a muscle playing. The game was not only good for exercise but it was also fun and great for burning off excess energy, which is what she was doing tonight.
The invite to the guys for drinks had been more of an invite to Castle. Ryan had already mentioned wanting to get home to Jenny and Esposito hadn't been good company since his break up with Lanie. She figured she was a good enough actor to down play her excitement when both men rejected her. The offer for drinks had already been put out there so it wasn't like she could change her mind and renege on the offer. Not that she had planned on doing that, it had simply be a ploy in order to get Castle on his own without it seeming like a date. Maybe that's why her plan had failed. She had tried to get something for nothing. A date with Castle without it being official. For a detective who stared down serial killers she sure was a coward.
Castle, you, me, drinks, no arguments.
It wasn't that hard yet when he turned down her offer there was just something about the rejection. The way he looked at her, dismissed her. Something was wrong, something was different. She wanted to call him, ask what was wrong. Yet if the situation were reversed, would she want him bugging her, while she was trying to deal with whatever it was she was trying to deal with. If was a tough case, they were all reeling from it, yet she had this suspicion it was more than that.
Feeling morose Beckett removed the strap from her wrist and walked over to her game system and turned it off, she didn't feel like dancing anymore. The ringing of her phone suddenly cut through the silence of her apartment. Looking around for her jacket she quickly snatched it off the couch and searched for her phone in the pockets. She found it and quickly tapped the screen to answer and frowned as she saw the id of the caller.
"Well hello dear, would you stop it"
Beckett was shocked and confused at Martha's request.
"Oh not you dear."
Beckett frowned as a muffled voice came through over the phone.
"Leave me alone." Came Martha's annoyed voice.
"Martha are you ok?" Beckett suddenly asked concerned. There were only two reasons for Martha to call her, she was doing another play, or she was in trouble. She hoped Martha was doing another play.
"Martha" Beckett desperatly called out.
"Oh yes dear, sorry about that."
Beckett had to be careful about what she asked next.
"Are you calling to say you love me?"
Beckett heard the woman laugh, well that was a good sign.
"Why would I be calling to tell you that dear?"
Beckett heard the muffled voice in the background again but she couldn't quite make out what they were saying.
"Oh no dear I am not being held hostage, but thank you for your concern."
Beckett sighed well that was a relief, a brief relief. It meant she had to be calling about another play. Was that what had got Castle in such a mood, surely not.
"I am calling about Richard."
"Is he ok Martha. He didn't seem right when he left the precinct tonight. I wanted to call him but I wasn't sure if he just wanted space."
Beckett heard the woman sigh dramatically.
"I am not sure if my son would have answered even if you had called."
Beckett sat down on her couch ready to settle in for a tales from Martha Rogers. It was clear where Castle got his storytelling abilities from.
"Will you tell me what's going on Martha?"
"Well my son is acting like he has had his favourite toy taken away from him."
Beckett then heard more background noise coming from the phone.
"Martha are you sure you are ok. What are you doing? Where are you. I keep hearing strange noises."
"I am fine dear I just have you on loud speaker while I try and do a million things at once. Right now I am trying to get rid of a pest. Do you know what it's like when you tell something to stay put and it doesn't listen."
Beckett laughed. "You do remember I work with your son right."
Beckett heard Martha laugh at her response. "You're a saint dear, you really are. I would have shot him years ago."
So Castle had his favourite toy taken away. Beckett wondered what mischief he had gotten up to in his Ferrari to have it impounded. It must have been something pretty bad or embarrassing for him not to tell her.
"So his favourite toy was taken away, that's what has gotten him in a mood. Why didn't he just tell me he got his Ferrari impounded, I could have gotten it out for him. For a price" she said while smiling. It was rare she had anything on Castle in order to black mail him.
"On no this is far more serious than that. You see Richard overheard something he shouldn't have"
Beckett groaned, oh no not again. "Martha did he go out and pretend to be a detective again. I was barely able to get him off that peeping tom charge last time."
"No dear this is far more serious than that. Richard overheard you interrogating a suspect, he heard everything you said. Everything."
Beckett jolted back, it was as if there were an echo, but not in the room or on the phone, but in her mind.
Everything. Everything. Everything.
He heard, Everything. Everything. Everything.
I remember Everything. Everything. Everything.
I remember every single second!
Oh God no.
"Martha he heard me tell the suspect I remember everything about me getting shot?"
"That's right dear."
"Oh no, no, no. This is so not happening, this is not happening."
Beckett got up off the couch and began to pace. She ran a hand though her hair before clenching her skull with her fingers. This cannot be happening.
"Martha , where is he? I have to explain. I have to ... I have to talk to him."
"I don't think that's a very good idea."
Becket's hand released her head and dropped down by her side.
"What? Martha you don't understand, I need to talk to him about this. I need to explain why I did what I did."
"I don't think that's a very good idea at the moment, he is feeling very embarrassed and you speaking to him will only make it worse."
Beckett stopped her pacing.
"Wait, why he is embarrassed?, if anything I should be embarrassed because he found out the way he did."
"He is embarrassed for acting like such a love sick puppy around you when it's obvious you don't feel the same way. Richard is embarrassed that he has made you feel uncomfortable when he told you he loved you."
Beckett stood there shocked.
"He doesn't think I love him?"
Suddenly her eyes started to blur and she put a hand out trying to find the couch to sit on.
"He doesn't think I love him"
Her own admission had her closing her eyes as large amounts of air were expelled from her lungs. He didn't think she loved him. He felt embarrassed for showing her his true feelings.
"Detective are you there. Kate are you ok?"
Martha's words seemed so far away. Opening her eyes Beckett saw her hand with her phone resting on her lap. She quickly brought the phone back up to her ear.
"Yes Martha I am still here. I am just stunned. How could Castle not know I love him?"
"So you do love him?"
"Yes of course I love him, I love him more than I have ever loved any man."
Beckett frowned. See! See what.?
"If you love him, than why did you lie about what happened after the shooting,?"
Beckett rubbed a hand over her face.
"I explained this all to Castle the day I saw him after the book signing. He is the king of subtext I thought he understood. While I have my mother's murder hanging over my head I can't devote 100% of my time, my mind, myself, to a relationship and that's what you son deserves. For so long I have had this wall inside of me, its preventing me from having the kind of relationship I want. I told Castle it needed to be gone, my mother's murder needed to be put at rest before I could move forward. We haven't gotten any new leads on her murder yet somehow that wall seems to be shirking. It's like you son has gotten that devise from honey I shrunk the kids movie and is daily firing that laser beam at it. It's like every gesture he makes shirks that wall away. Bringing me coffee, offering me a smile when he knows I am sad. Being there for me even when I tell him to leave me alone because he knows I need him. Staying away or getting someone else to help me when he knows he can't. The wall is so small now, I am ready to jump over it. I wanted to get to a point in my life where I don't have one foot out the door in a relationship. I was waiting to tell him when I have both feet permanently planted on the floor, inside his loft, the door behind me closed and locked. I was waiting to finally be the woman he needs, he deserves."
Beckett looked around her apartment, where had she put her keys.
"Martha is he there. I am coming over. Where are my dam keys?" she mumbled to herself.
Beckett picked up a few pillows on the couch and threw them to the floor. Nope not there. She turned around looking for her jacket.
Beckett ran to her kitchen had she let them on her counter.
"I don't care Martha I am coming over. I will sit outside your door until he agrees to listen to me."
Nope, not on the counter. Beckett ran to her door and then turned around trying to retrace her steps when she had come in today.
Step, step, step, stop, bedroom. She had gone into her bedroom, she had been busting to pee.
"I'll make a scene if I have to. I have to fix this now Martha. He needs to know I love him."
As she ran to her bedroom her phone now at her side Becket heard Martha yell through the phone yet again.
There was something strange about the woman's voice, it didn't sound like a woman at all. It was also unusual for Martha to call her Beckett. As she scanned her bedroom for her keys Beckett brought the phone back to her ear.
"No Beckett it's me."
Beckett's eyes widened.
Martha had put her son on the phone; oh she could kiss the woman right now.
"Castle, I have to explain what you heard. Please you have to listen to me. As soon as I find my keys I am heading over to your place."
Beckett started tearing the covers off her bed. Where were her stupid keys?
"Don't bother about finding the keys Beckett."
Beckett stopped ransacking her room and her bottom lip began to quiver.
"No please Castle you have to let me explain."
She heard him laugh, he was laughing at her?
"No Beckett I am already on my way to see you. The Ferrari isn't impounded so I should be there as soon as I can."
"Your coming here?" she asked shocked. Beckett sat on her bed stunned for the second time that evening. "Did Martha tell you what I told her?"
"No I was listening in. Mother was sick of me moping around the loft. So she called you and put it on loud speaker. I tried to stop her; I didn't think it was right listen in on a private conversation, especially when you didn't know. It got me into trouble last time."
It all started to make sense. The noise in the background had been Castle obviously trying stop his mother.
"So you heard everything I said, both times?"
"I heard you have watched Honey I shrunk the kids?"
Beckett smiled oh how she had missed his wacky sense of humour.
"Castle," she warned jovially.
"Yes I heard everything."
Beckett took a deep breath at least she knew where she stood.
"And! Do you believe me? Do you understand why I lied to you?"
She heard him sigh which through a phone was a good indication it was a big sigh.
"I do get it, I am not happy about it, but I get it. I was stunned by your admission, I believed it, but stunned too. I think it's time we talked to each other face to face which is why I am coming to see you."
A thought suddenly hit Beckett he was coming here. There were pillows and a wayward jacket throw all over her lounge and she was in daggy stained work out clothes and sweaty.
"Ahh how long until you get here."
"Ten minutes, five if you agree to help me out of a few speeding fines."
Her face was a juxtaposition of opposites, she was roiling her eyes but she was also smiling.
"I was working out earlier. I want to take a shower before you get here."
"Wait for me; I'll be there in two minutes"
Beckett laughed; this was what she had to look forward to. Castle taking her words and spinning them into something sexual or funny. Life would never be boring that's for sure.
"What? Oh come on Beckett, you can't just tell me your going to have a shower while I am driving. My mind will be focused on imagining that and not on the road."
Good point, it's not like she actually thought he was going to jump in the shower with her, at least not at first.
"Can I tell you something else that might make you lose your focus?"
She heard him laugh. "I am not sure if I can take much more but yeah go ahead."
"I love you"
She was nervous when all she hard was silence. Well at least it was better than hearing the sound of crunching metal.
"I love you too Kate."
Kate, he called her Kate, like he had when he first told her.
"Well I better get off the phone, let you drive." Beckett started walking towards her bathroom trying to strip off her clothes with one hand.
"What you better do is get in the shower. Our heart to heart talks while you were dying and while I am listening through glass aren't exactly the best way to go about it."
This caused Beckett to laugh. He was right there history wasn't great, they needed to do this right.
"Ok, I'll be quick and when you get here we are going to sit down and discuss everything."
She heard him sigh again. "Yes, Everything."
Now I know Martha has been annoying some of us this season, ie pushing Castle to date other woman, telling Castle Beckett may never be ready, but I think it's because she is using subtext to get her son to act on his feelings. I thought it was in her nature to butt in and do something sneaky to get our favourite couple together.
Hey so what do you think. I know I know you are probably wondering what I am doing writing one shots when our favourite couple are left hanging in Ain't No Mountain High Enough. I am sorry but blame the show, it's inspiring me to write so many other things. I'll do you a deal, you give me lots of beautiful reviews for this story and if you haven't already read it, go check out my other new one shot DSB. And ill get up another chapter of Aint No Mountain up as soon as possible. Seriously your reviews make my fingers type faster. : )
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