It was two in the morning, and Derek Hale was lying on the full-size spring mattress on the floor that he called a bed. He tossed and turned in the grey sheets, but he couldn't seem to fall asleep; no, he had too much to think about. It had only been a little under two weeks since he had killed his uncle and become alpha of Beacon Hills, and things were going a little differently than he thought they would.
As soon as he became alpha, he became more powerful, but he also had many more needs and responsibilities. For a proper pack, there was an alpha, a number of betas, omegas, and most importantly, the alphas mate: the alpha female. Once a werewolf becomes alpha, his or her wolf automatically starts looking for its mate. A werewolf's mate is chosen to be the best fit for and by both its human and its wolf side. A mate can be freely chosen, but once the choice is made, it is final; mates are for life.
Derek's wolf side has chosen. Derek's human side is freaking out. In his defense, there's a lot to be freaking out over, like: A) who his wolf has chosen, B) that he actually agrees with who his wolf has chosen, and C) that he has no idea how to tell his mate that he is in fact his mate. So here he is, tangled in his sheets in the early morning, trying to figure out how to woo a hyperactive, talkative, hormonal teenage boy, because he and his wolf are apparently either psychotic or stupid enough to have chosen the one and only Stiles Stilinksi to be their mate.
Derek had been fond of Stiles since they had first met, which is more than he would like to admit, so it wasn't much of a surprise that when he became alpha, his wolf chose stiles as a mate almost immediately. Derek's human side was a bit more reluctant to choose; after all, the last time he had decided to have an actual relationship with someone, his whole family was burned alive. It's not that he feels responsible for his family's death, but some part of him knows that he was still an accessory to their murder, even if he was unaware of it at the time.
Don't get him wrong, Derek has been in some purely sexual relationships before –it's not like he was going to give up sex just because he had put his dating life on hiatus –but nothing more. It's not like he ever met any women (or men) who he wanted to have a relationship with anyway, though. When he was in New York, everyone that took an interest in him always seemed to be thinking some idiotic crap like 'oh, he has such a tortured soul, and I want to be the one to save him and bring him out of his darkness' which Derek found outrageous; he's not the love interest in a badly made teen drama, and he's not a helpless kicked puppy that needs coddling.
So, making the choice to pretty much choose the one person that he will spend the rest of his life with was pretty tough. And it's not like Derek had really taken the time to figure out exactly how he felt about Stiles; before his wolf chose the kid to be his mate, he never had much of a reason to. So, he had taken his sweet time to think, he took a worn and crumpled copy of his old 'wanted by police' poster (Stiles said he needed one as a memento), and wrote down a list of all things Stiles on the blank side.
Stiles is smart; much smarter than most people give him credit for
He has a problem with giving into impulse even when he knows it's not a smart one
He has severe ADHD which pretty much explains most of his behavior.
He never shuts up
He's one of the bravest people I know
Stiles is difficult
Stiles can challenge me in many more ways than one
He will stand up to me if he needs to, and he won't stop until he knows I've heard what he has to say.
Stiles knows that he's human and that if I felt like it, I could kill him in a matter of seconds, but he always goes through with speaking his mind(even if it is an ADHD impulse) and always comes back to do it again, even if he knows it will end in threats and possibly a minor injury.
After Derek looked over the list he had made quite a few times, he realized: 'huh...I'm in love with Stiles,' and made his choice in mate final.
That same night, Stiles is at his desk, swiveling in his computer chair, and trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with himself. He has pretty much gotten over the fact that werewolves exist, which, seriously, no sane person would get used to that this quickly, but no one has ever called Stiles sane –in fact, he's pretty damn sure he has been called various things that mean the exact opposite of sane. Stiles has pretty much demanded that Scott let him train him and teach him about is wolf, because somehow, Stiles knows how to be a better werewolf than his werewolf best friend; not that he would tell Scott that.
Scott isn't exactly the smartest of people –Stiles doesn't feel bad for thinking this because it's not an opinion, it's purely an observation –and the thing about stupid people is that they're too stupid to know that they're stupid. Not to say that Scott is stupid, he's just oblivious, and very, very ignorant. So, Stiles does the research, he figures out creative and effective training methods, and he helps Scott fill in the blanks. But the thing is, Stiles shouldn't have to fill in the blanks (again, it's not that he minds), Scott should get over the fact that there is no longer a cure, and go hug it out with his alpha. Not that Derek would actually hug anyone, much to Stiles' disappointment.
This brings him to the real reason he thinks he's gone off the deep end: Derek. You see, Stiles has this…thing for Derek. A very gay I-think-about-you-cumming-down-my-throat-when-I-masturbate kind of thing. Stiles honestly doesn't know why, and it freaks him the fuck out. Of course Derek has the sexiest, most god-like body that Stiles has ever seen, but Stiles is not gay. No, he has never thought this way about anyone of the male gender before, nor has he ever been attracted to one in any way –with the exception of Derek. Yeah, ok, Stiles can admit (to himself and ONLY himself) that he has been somewhat bi-curious.
He has found himself browsing some gay porn, but he has never found it to be something he can get off on. It's not that he thinks its gross, far from it, but he just doesn't find the guys in the video to be orgasm-worthy; what is orgasm-worthy is what they are doing. So, Stiles isn't attracted to men (besides Derek), but he IS attracted to the idea of gay sex. Especially gay sex acts that involve Derek Hale, he likes to think about those. But what really baffles Stiles is that he's not just attracted sexually. If it were only sexual attraction, he could have written it off as him being a horny teenager with raging hormones; but no, there just had to be feelings.
Stiles couldn't really tell what the feelings were at first; he had felt them before, or at least felt something similar, but not often, and not this strong. And then, to his complete and utter horror, Stiles realized: this is how he felt about Lydia Martin. And not only that, but he realized that he only felt this for Lydia –felt, as in past tense –and it feels stronger with Derek, which is nothing short of terrifying. Stiles is in love with Derek Hale. Derek Hale, Mr. Sour Wolf Alpha, who is super aggressive, broody, stoic, mysterious, and as far as Stiles can tell, not gay. And trust him, he already looked it up and there is no book called "How to Be in Gay One-Sided Love with a Broody Werewolf". He'll just have to write it himself. So does he tell Scott? No, he does not, because that would be both incredibly awkward, and completely mortifying. "Hey, Scott, old buddy –I'm in love with Derek. You know, your male alpha who you still sort of despise. Cool? Cool." Yeah, Stiles doesn't think so.