Hope Springs Eternal Contest
Number of Prompt Chosen: 26
Title: No Regrets In Forbidden Love
Word Count: 11,895
Pairing: Edward and Bella
Summary: After an accident that changes Edward and Bella's lives forever they are thrown together years later by unexplainable forces and begin a secret love affair.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters. No copyright infringement intended.
I slipped out my bedroom window late at night and ran through the darkness. On the other side of my fence it was even darker from the cover of trees. Nothing was visible once you stepped into the forest. I knew where I was going, though. I had run through these trees so many times in the last few months I could do it blindfolded. I only had to run about a half mile before I reached the old logging road where I would meet my boyfriend Edward, who would be waiting for me like he always was.
Edward was that one guy in school everyone wanted but no one admits to. He was what every girl fantasized about. He was tall and strong. He had the most beautiful tresses of auburn hair, a strong jaw and perfect skin, large and protective arms and hands, piercing green eyes, and the most kissable, plump lips I'd ever seen on anyone. The problem was he had the reputation as the bad boy of our town, which really wasn't him at all. I was probably the only person who truly knew him for who he was. He'd never even done anything to get the reputation as a bad boy. He got the reputation because of one incident, which he had no control over and inexplicably changed both of our lives forever.
When I reached him, he gently cupped my face with his hands before leaning in to kiss me. Every single time he kissed me I felt as if I was flying. I was beyond in love with him. I was irrevocably his for as long as he wanted me and I hoped that would be for a long time to come.
"Let's get to the truck and warm you up," he whispered against my lips. I nodded my head, still barely able to breathe and unable to think of anything but his lips on mine. He slipped his hand into mine to pull me towards the truck. He opened the door and helped me in before climbing in next to me. I sat as close to him in the seat as I could and rested my head against his shoulder while he started up the roaring engine of the truck and turned on the heater.
Edward and I had known each other most of our lives. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten and since we lived in a small town in Washington we knew every detail about each other's lives even if we didn't want it to be known. Edward and I had successfully kept our relationship a secret from everyone. Not even our closest friends knew until recently.
The reason for keeping our relationship a secret and possibly what ultimately brought us together is something that happened five years ago. I was twelve years old and my mom was driving me home from my dance class in Port Angeles late at night. Edward and his dad were driving towards Port Angeles. Edward's dad was an alcoholic and he was apparently on his way to the liquor store. The problem was he was already drunk and had Edward in the back seat of the car. His dad crossed that middle line and hit my mom and I head on. My mom died instantly while both Edward and I ended up in the hospital with some serious injuries. Edward's dad walked away with barely a scratch. My dad, being the chief of police of our small town, had him arrested immediately and made sure he got the maximum time in jail for what he did. My dad, Charlie, was never the same after my mom died. I pretty much became invisible to him and had to take on the role of taking care of the house. I knew he loved me but it wasn't the same. He wasn't the father I had before my mom died.
The one thing I did know was I was supposed to hate Edward because he was connected to the man who killed my mom. In a way I think my dad blamed Edward just as much as he blamed his father. It didn't matter that Edward was only twelve years old when it happened and had no control over what his dad did. My dad spent every waking moment, or what seemed like it, in an attempt to pin something on Edward and send him away like he did Edward's father. I honestly think my dad would have been happy if Edward was sent somewhere else to live and never had to see him again, but he had nowhere else to go. Doctor and Mrs. Cullen took him in to their home and let him live with them since his dad was in jail and he didn't have a mother. Supposedly his mother left him when he was just a baby. My dad had some resentment towards the Cullen's because of this as well. Charlie just couldn't seem to let things go.
From the time I was twelve years old and got out of the hospital only to have to go to my mom's funeral, I have avoided Edward at all costs. We didn't associate at school, we didn't have mutual friends, and we made sure we weren't ever near each other for any reason. It wasn't until recently when all of that changed.
For the first time in years, we had a class together. It wasn't a big deal until our biology teacher started drawing names out of a bowl for lab partners. Just my luck, I was partnered with Edward. My friend Angela tried to convince me to talk to the teacher and change partners. I was sure, just like she was that Mr. Banner would understand and let me switch with someone. But I decided to be the better person and deal with it. I could get through my last semester of high school being partnered with someone I didn't care for.
At first, our working relationship was very strained and difficult. We didn't communicate very well on assignments and quite often we either didn't get it done or we would end up doing most of the work on our own instead of together. It worked at first until Mr. Banner realized we weren't working as a team and our work was often opposite from the other. We were warned to work on the labs as a team or we would have points deducted from our grade. We ultimately started working better together and after a while we got used to each other and were able to get through our work.
Things changed when we were assigned a rather large assignment which was supposed to be a weeklong assignment with lots of research and constant communication. It was strange how one day we could barely get along but then suddenly we were laughing and joking around in class. I knew somehow something between us had changed. I wasn't so nervous around him. I actually looked forward to going to biology so I could see him. I felt comfortable enough around him that without even realizing it I wasn't hiding something I'd hid from most people since the accident. While working on our assignment one day I reached out my hand and laid it flat against the paper. I didn't realize what I had done until I looked over at Edward and his eyes were focused on my pinky finger. As a result of the accident, I lost the tip of my pinky. Somehow it was cut off just above the first knuckle. I had always hid it in some way. Either I kept my fingers tucked into my palm or I pulled my sleeve down over my hands to cover it. Even though I knew people saw it from time to time, I still hid it and pretended like people didn't know. It made it easier. When I pulled my hand back and hid my deformed pinky finger from him, I also stopped talking to him. I was nervous again and had all those same fears and anxieties of being near him come up. After a few minutes of not talking, Edward flipped his notebook to a clean page and scribbled something on it before pushing it towards me. I looked down at the paper and read what he wrote. I have scars too, Bella. You don't have to hide from me. I faked a smile and went back to working on our project. We really didn't talk much more for the rest of the class.
A few days later things went back to normal, as normal as could be. Since we had so much left to do on our project, Edward asked if I'd be able to come over to his house after school so we could finish it. My first thought was to ask him if he was crazy. There was absolutely no way I was going to be able to go to his house without my dad finding out and probably showing up with a shotgun in his hand. After begging me to think about it I finally agreed, but we had to find a way to do it so no one saw. That was the first time I snuck out of my house and ran through the woods to get to the old logger's road. My dad was still at work the first time I snuck off to see Edward and the Cullen's were gone when we got back to his house as well. We went to his room and tried to focus on our biology work but after a while we pretty much just started joking around and talking about ourselves and our lives. It was the first time I really got to know Edward for who he was and not just what I was supposed to know about him. He was actually a very caring and a totally misunderstood guy.
At one point while we were joking around about the best and worst features kids at school had, he reached out for my hand and rubbed his thumb across my deformed pinky finger. My heart was racing from the insecurity I felt from him looking at it and touching it. I'd never let anyone touch that hand, let alone my pinky.
"You know what your best feature is?" he asked, holding my hand in his and continuing to rub his finger across my nub. "Your hands." He held my hand out in front of me so I could see what he was talking about. I rolled my eyes and tried to pull my hand away but he wouldn't let me. "I'm serious, Bella. Your hands are beautiful." He continued to caress my hand in his and twist our fingers together. "This is what will connect us forever and reminds me everyday why I can't ever love you. Why, no matter how much I want to kiss you, I can't."
His words stunned me. I didn't know what to say or how to react. I had no idea whether he was being serious or playing some sort of trick on me. How could he love me and what did my deformed hand have to do with it?
He dropped my hand and leaned back against the headboard with a frustrated look on his face. His forehead was scrunched together and his jaw was clenched shut. He turned his head towards the window like he was searching for something important in the tree by his house. We sat in complete silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Many times I considered just getting up and walking out the door to go home. I also considered asking him if he was serious about what he said or trying to break the tension with some sort of stupid joke just so we could get past whatever was going on and bring the focus back on our biology project.
In a split second I did something I never thought I would ever do or even considered doing. I crawled across his bed on my hands and knees and pressed my lips against his. He was just as shocked as I was by what I did because he jerked his head away from me and stared at me with wide, confused eyes. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there on all fours, nearly straddling his lap and stared back. I waited for some sort of reaction from him. I assumed he would either push me away and tell me I was crazy, or he'd laugh at me and tell me he was just joking and thought it was funny how I actually believed what he said. I prepared myself for both reactions. Just as I started to pull back and prepare myself to bolt out the door, he leaned forward and twisted his hand in my hair to grab my head and pulled me towards him. His lips once again touched mine and pulled my bottom lip between his. I had no idea what I was doing since I'd never kissed anyone. My first kiss was definitely not supposed to be with Edward either. But in that moment, I didn't care. I let him hold me close to him while we made out. He laid me across his bed, hovering over me and continued to kiss me and lifted my shirt to rub his hand across my stomach and just below my breasts. I had no idea what we were doing would lead, but something inside of me wanted everything. I pulled his black t-shirt over his head and ran my fingers against his warm skin, noticing the scars on his chest and stomach. He had more scars than I did. Right along his collarbone was a rather large scar. I ran my finger across the scar before leaning up to place gentle kisses on it. I heard his breath hitch and nearly moan when the tip of my tongue touched his skin.
"Bella, we have to stop. This is wrong," he whispered through gritted teeth. I fell back against the bed and looked up at him with disappointment. I started to question if this was his plan all along. Was he just using me or playing some hurtful joke on me? I waited for the rejection I knew would come. Ever since the accident no boy had ever had interest in me. I assumed it was because of the deformed finger and the few scars I still had on my face. I was damaged and quite honestly, I think people were afraid of my dad. If he could put a guy in jail and make Edward's everyday life a living hell for no reason, he could probably do much worse to a guy who ever tried anything with me. I hated being the daughter of a police chief in a small town.
"Okay," I said, beginning to sit up on the bed and pull my shirt back down. "I understand." I heard him let out a frustrated breath when he sat up on the other side of the bed. While I gathered up my books and my coat, Edward put his shirt back on and searched for his shoes. We didn't say anything while we walked out to his truck and headed back towards the old logger's road. I had to put my hood over my head and scrunch down in the seat so people that passed us in their cars couldn't see me. Edward was rigid and kept sighing heavily during the drive. Many times I thought he was going to say something but he never did.
He pulled up along the side of the gravel road next to the trees and turned off the engine. I sat there for a few seconds longer wondering if he would say something. When he didn't, I huffed frustratingly and undid the seatbelt, grabbing for my backpack. Just as I was reaching for the door handle he finally spoke.
"Bella, wait!" I stopped and sat back against the seat. He reached for my hand and linked our fingers together while turning his body towards me. I stayed motionless and stared straight ahead. I was afraid if I looked at him I would give in to him again. "You know why this won't work, right? Your dad hates me because of who my dad is and what happened when we were twelve. I'm surprised you don't hate me too. Actually, I think you did, but now I'm not so sure." He paused for a moment, looking down at my hand in his and running his thumb across my knuckles. "Why did you kiss me?" I turned my head so I could see him better just as he raised his eyes towards mine.
"I… I… don't know," I stammered. "I guess I thought it was a good idea after what you said."
"I meant it," he admitted. "Regardless of how cheesy it might have been." He nervously chuckled at what he said and ducked his head.
"If you meant it, why did you reject me?" I asked.
"I didn't reject you, Bella. Believe me; I would have liked nothing better than to stay in my room with you in my arms all night. You are all I seem to think about anymore. I don't know what happened or why it happened, but I'm falling in love with you. I know I can't though. Your dad would kill me. I'd end up in prison right next to my own father if he had his way. He's been trying to pin just about everything that happens in this town on me for the last five years. He's had everyone turn against me for absolutely no reason other than a grudge. I can't even walk down the hallway at school without a teacher questioning where I'm going or what I'm doing. What we did today, by sneaking off to my house and even just sitting here with you right now is extremely risky."
"I know what the risks are. I know my dad has been a little crazy since my mom died. But I still don't get why you rejected me in your room while we were making out. I can understand if we were at school or on the sidewalk and people saw us, but we were in your room with no one around. Why did you stop? Was I a bad kisser? Did I do something wrong? When I was kissing your scar did it hurt?" I questioned.
All he did was laugh and shake his head in disbelief. "That's what you thought?" He took a deep breath and glanced around the deserted road before tucking his hand behind my head and pulling towards him. He gently kissed me and sucked my bottom lip between his. When he pulled away he placed his forehead against mine and looked me straight in the eye. "You are not a bad kisser. This day has been the most incredible day of my life. But the main reason I had to stop us was because Esme was going to be home and I didn't want her to catch us. Plus, I'm sure your dad is going to be home soon and I assume he's expecting you to be at home when he gets there. I don't want to get either of us in trouble. It's the last thing I want to do."
I smiled and leaned into him for another kiss. After understanding why he stopped us I felt better. "So, where does this leave us?" I wondered. I liked Edward and I knew he liked me too. It was just impossible to have a relationship with him in our circumstances. We were doomed before we even started.
Edward pulled away from me and placed both of his hands on the wheel in front of him. He gripped the steering wheel so tight I thought he might break it. "Bella, why can't you understand, it's never going to work. Your dad will never accept me into your life in any way. I'm actually surprised we're still lab partners at school. I figured he'd be in the principal's office demanding a switch within days of finding out."
"He doesn't know. I never told him," I explained. Edward once again turned his head towards me almost smirking at my response. I scooted across the seat closer to him and placed my hand on his leg. "We can make it work, Edward. We can sneak around like we did today. No one has to know."
"Why would you want to do that for me?" he asked.
I smiled and blushed at his question. "I thought it was rather obvious. Attacking you with kisses earlier wasn't enough to prove I like you?"
He huffed and shook his head like he wasn't sure. "What happens if we get caught? Your dad would be furious at not only me but you too. I can't put you at risk of getting hurt."
"My dad won't hurt me," I assured. "Yeah, he'll be mad but he'll get over it."
"Like he got over what happened almost six years ago?" Edward asked making me realize if my dad ever did find out it wasn't going to be a simple punishment. I could ultimately destroy both of our lives. "I'm not saying I don't want to be with you, Bella. Believe me when I say it's all I want, but I think it would be best if we let it go and not try to cause anymore turmoil for any of us. It doesn't make sense for us to be together. No one would ever understand it or accept it. We just need to go on with our lives as if today never happened."
I let out a frustrated sigh knowing he was probably right. We had to let it go. I nodded my head and tried to keep the tears at bay. He reached down and squeezed my hand before bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on the tip of my deformed pinky finger. I pulled my hand free from his hand and reached for the door handle. I hopped out and grabbed my backpack off the floorboard, looking back at him one last time. The expression on his face was torn as if he was fighting really hard not to pull me back into the truck with him. I almost wished he would have. I shut the door and started my way through the woods towards my house. A few yards into the trees I heard Edward's truck start up and the sound of him pulling away. I cried all the way home thinking about how unfair it was that we couldn't be together. It's true that I did hate Edward at one time, but that was before I knew him. I was told to hate him. I was told to blame him for my mother's death. I was made to believe he was a bad guy. But things change. I decided I needed to find a way to convince my dad that Edward was not a bad guy. If he could just take a moment to get to know him, I was sure he would see the same person I saw. He would see someone who is caring, loving, smart, and funny. He wouldn't see the monster my dad portrayed him as.
Unfortunately trying to convince my dad of anything, especially when it came to Edward, was impossible. Just the mere mention of Edward's name at dinner made my dad livid. He started asking me if Edward was harassing me at school or if he said something to upset me. I kept insisting it was nothing like that and it was actually the opposite but my dad wouldn't hear it. All he could see was Edward as his father. He lost his appetite and stormed off for the night saying he needed to take a drive. I texted Edward and warned him what happened, just in case my dad decided to show up at the Cullen house looking for him. Edward never responded back so I didn't know if anything happened. I waited up in bed for my dad to come home. He didn't get back until after midnight and he went straight to bed.
The next day at school I searched all over trying to find Edward and make sure he was okay. I saw him standing by his locker and he glanced towards me for a split second. Just knowing he was at school set my mind at ease that nothing happened. I couldn't wait to get to biology class so I could find out for sure.
I sat down next to Edward at our lab station. He was busy scribbling something in his notebook and ignoring my presence. I stared at him and even elbowed him slightly to get his attention. He slid the notebook across the table towards me so I could read what he wrote. Everything is fine. Your dad did show up at my house but all he did was park outside of it for a few hours. He didn't do anything so stop worrying.
I grabbed a pen and scribbled a message back. Why didn't you text me back to let me know this?
He pulled the notebook back towards him and wrote a response. Because Carlisle and Esme monitor my phone calls and texts. If they see an unfamiliar phone number I'm texting back and forth with they'll get suspicious. It won't take them long before they figure out it's you. How are we going to explain that?
After reading his answer, I felt guilty for texting him. I should have left it alone. Sorry.
After his last message, he turned the paper over to a fresh page in his notebook and focused his attention on our teacher who was beginning to talk. Mr. Banner informed us we would be watching a video presentation for class so we all needed to put our things away and pay attention. The video started and Mr. Banner flipped the lights off. I leaned forward, resting my chin on my hands while Edward lounged back in his chair. I could feel his eyes on me. I could sense he wanted to touch me. After a few minutes into the film, I inconspicuously leaned back in my seat as well and let my hand hang to the side. Only a few seconds went by before Edward dropped his hand next to mine. Our hands brushed against each other very discreetly until we somehow linked pinkies. We stayed connected in the smallest way possible until the movie was over. I quickly released my pinky from his and leaned forward in my chair when the lights came back on. Mr. Banner passed out a short assignment paper about the video for us to do at the end of class. I didn't pay much attention to the video but most of the questions were fairly simple to answer. Suddenly while I was writing in the last answer on the paper, the notebook slid across the table towards me and I read what it said. Meet me tonight? I smiled and scribbled back a yes with a number for the time just as the bell rang. Despite our promise of letting what was going on between us go and forgetting anything ever happened, we just couldn't. I wanted to be with Edward.
Later that night after I knew my dad would be passed out on the couch watching TV, I snuck out my window and into the forest. That was the first of many times I snuck out to see Edward. I decided to defy everything my father had told me and everything he believed in to follow my heart. Edward wasn't just a silly little crush. He was the one person who could truly make me laugh. I could fake a smile and even a laugh after my mom died, but he could make it real. He made me feel whole after feeling empty for so long. I felt normal again and not broken.
Edward and I couldn't deny what we were feeling so we decided to keep it a secret. We came up with this entire way of communicating with looks and symbols. We would spend almost every night along the logging road either making out or just talking. I told him every single deep dark secret I ever had and he did the same. He told me about his dad and how he would drink growing up. They never got along and if his dad didn't have alcohol he'd get mad at Edward for it and beat him. He tried to accuse Edward of stealing his alcohol and drinking it himself even as a little boy. The hardest thing for Edward to admit was that when his dad was arrested and sent to prison he was happy. Edward was sure I'd be upset and probably hate him knowing that the reason for his happiness was what ultimately destroyed mine. But in some strange way I understood what he meant and just loved him more for being honest with me.
When Edward and I started having sex, it was probably the most awkward thing either of us had ever done. It wasn't awkward in the sense that we weren't comfortable with each other. We had done just about everything else but have sex. I wanted to and I was sure he did too but we never went that far just in case something bad happened. I was always terrified of getting pregnant. How exactly would we explain that to my dad? I knew my dad would charge him with rape so fast and probably have everyone convinced he had, even though it wasn't true. The awkward part was buying the condoms.
When we finally decided to go through with it, Edward went to the local store to buy condoms. He was so nervous about it since it was a small town and everyone talked. I went with him… sort of. He told me when he planned to be at the store so I conveniently showed up at the same time. I needed to get a few things like milk and bread anyway, so I did my shopping and kept a close eye out for Edward. He looked so nervous walking up the register with a box of condoms in his hands. Of course, Jessica Stanley had to be the one at the register. She was in our grade and always had a thing for Edward. Her parents would kill her if they ever knew, like most parents in our town would, but that didn't ever stop her from flirting with him and trying to get into his pants. Edward walked up to the register with his basket and placed it on the stand. Inside he had a bag of chips, a soda, a pack of gum, a sports illustrated magazine, and the box of condoms. I listened from a short distance away as Jessica chatted with him and talked about graduation, which was coming up in a few short weeks. She even asked him about prom and whether he was planning to go. When she pulled out the box of condoms, I saw her conniving smile and her fluttery eyelashes. She had the audacity to ask him who he planned to use the condoms with. Then she went on to tell him if he needed a willing participant to use them with she was available. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked up to the register and slammed my basket of stuff down behind Edward. I think he even jumped when he saw me being so bold as to walk up behind him and glare at Jessica out of jealousy. I knew Edward wasn't interested in her and was probably wishing she would shut up so he could get out of the store. But I hated hearing the way she talked to him. Jessica was pleasant enough and said hi to me while she finished up with Edward's purchase, but I still continued to glare at her. Once Edward finished paying, he quickly grabbed his bag and took off in his truck. I stayed behind and paid for my things while Jessica went on and on about how Edward must be hiding a girlfriend. She wondered who it was and started naming off girls in our school he might be hooking up with. I finally told her I had no interest in who Edward was with and didn't want to talk about it anymore. She stuck her nose in the air and let out a persnickety hum while ringing up the rest of my purchases.
Later that night, when I snuck out to see Edward, he still had the horrified look on his face from earlier when he was at the store. He was sure rumors were going to spread about him buying the condoms and he wondered what people would say. I tried to calm him down and reassure him it didn't matter what people thought. But for Edward, what people thought of him was an everyday issue. He was judged, usually harshly, by everything he did.
"Edward, it'll be fine. Jessica is a bitch and everyone knows that. Whatever rumors she spreads will blow over in a few days and no one will think anything different of you," I said, trying to encourage him to let it go.
"I just don't want you dragged into the drama in any way. Just the mere fact you were there while I was buying them will bring you into the mix of the rumors. Now every single move I make is going to be watched. I won't even be able to discreetly look in your direction without someone noticing."
"We'll just have to be even more careful for a while. In a few weeks we'll be out of there anyway. Graduation is just a few weeks away."
"And what then?" he asked. "You'll head off to college and who knows where I'll end up. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I'm in jail for something stupid."
"You can come with me," I offered. "I'm going to the University of Texas. No one will know us there and we can live our lives the way we want to."
"Until your dad comes to visit or finds out I followed you to the same place," Edward argued.
"We won't tell him." I scooted across the seat and curled up next to him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close. "Stop being so negative. We can get through this and be happy like we have done so far. Nothing is going to change."
"What happens if I want to ask you to marry me? How do I go to your dad and ask him for his daughter's hand in marriage? How do we go about telling him you're planning to marry the son of the man who killed your mother?" he wondered.
I was stunned by his questions because I'd never actually thought about him asking me to marry him. "Are you asking me to marry you?" I asked.
"Not right now but it something I have considered for the future," he explained. "But then I realize it's not even a possibility."
"Anything is possible," I assured. "We'll be fine." I sat up on my knees and smiled at him, biting my lip in a playful gesture. I didn't want to talk about all the negative aspects of our relationship. I wanted us both to be happy and enjoy each other. He reached out his hand and cupped my face as I leaned forward to kiss him. My hands roamed across his chest and down to his jeans. I unbuttoned his pants and pulled his shirt up over his head. He gave me a crooked smile when he realized what I was doing. His hands reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me towards him. I removed my shirt while he unhooked the clasp of my bra. Within seconds I was drifting into an ecstasy filled frenzy of his lips and tongue against my skin. He moaned as he sucked on my breasts which made the sensation even sweeter. I reached down and grabbed his hard cock in my hands and pumped up and down, making him shake with excitement. I'd given him plenty of hand jobs and even a few blow jobs, but tonight it was different. We were going to make love. He was going to be inside of me and make us connected in an even deeper way than we already were. This was another life changing moment for both of us. Filled with anticipation and need for each other, Edward quickly removed the rest of his clothing and slipped on the condom. I did the same by removing my pants and panties, sitting completely exposed in front of him. He leaned towards me and kissed me gently on the lips, whispering he loved me. I curled my arms around his neck and laid down across the seat of his truck, opening up my legs for him. I thought I would be nervous about losing my virginity and the fear of it hurting, but I wasn't. I knew I loved Edward and there was never a reason to fear anything when I was with him. While Edward continued to kiss my lips and my neck, he carefully hovered above me waiting for that perfect moment. It was difficult to find the perfect position for both of us in the confined surrounding of the truck, but we did. Slowly, Edward pushed inside of me and let out a strangled groan. I felt the sudden heat of shock when he was all the way in me but it wasn't painful, just uncomfortable. Edward rocked our bodies back and forth and moaned loudly all the while. My breathing was heavy and erratic while he slid in and out of me over and over again. At first it was uncomfortable but as he kept whispering close to my ear how much he loved me and how good I feel. I closed my eyes and let myself just feel and not think. Suddenly, with him being inside of me had an all new sensation. It was pure bliss. My moans began to match his as the pleasure started to overtake my entire body and fill me with a sensation I'd never experienced. It was totally different than the times he'd went down on me. This new sensation was magical. I wanted it to last forever. As I hit my peak of ecstasy, my back arched, my legs shook and tightened around him, and I let out the loudest cry ever. I probably sounded like a wolf howling at the moon if someone had heard me. Edward grunted a few more times before pushing even deeper inside of me and slowing his pace. I looked up at his face and watched as the muscles in his forehead and neck tensed. His jaw tightened and his eyes clenched shut. I smiled and rubbed my hand across his cheek, easing the tension away and soothing him back from his orgasm.
"Oh my God," he whispered over and over again while he continued to hover over me. He focused his eyes on my face and smiled down at me before leaning in to kiss me again. "Wow!" He leaned back and sat up on the seat, still reveling in the orgasm he just had. "I never knew it could feel like that. I mean, I know what an orgasm feels like from hand jobs and blow jobs, but being inside of the person I love was the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced."
I smiled and pulled myself up into the seat, curling into his side and rubbing my hand across his thigh.
"I love you," I whispered. He kissed me on the top of my head and held me close to his warm body.
"I love you, too. And you're right, we'll make it work if we want it bad enough," he said. I smiled against his chest and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment of happiness and peace we had together.
A few hours later, I got dressed and made my back through the woods until I reached my house. I couldn't sleep when I got home. I was still so happy and exhilarated. I couldn't keep the apparent grin off my face. Even the next day when I got to school I had the perpetual smile plastered across my face. My friend, Angela, noticed and questioned what I was so happy about. Of course I couldn't tell her so I played dumb like I had no idea what she was talking about. I found myself biting my lip all day trying to hide the smile. I passed Edward in the hallway a few times throughout the day and even he was struggling to keep a straight face. We had to be extra careful not to make eye contact since, like we figured would happen, Jessica started spreading rumors about Edward having a secret girlfriend. I don't think anyone would have even assumed it was me. I listened to the gossip being spread through the school about Edward buying condoms and everyone taking a guess about who the girl was. One girl even went as far to question if it was a girl at all. I almost felt like slapping her, but I didn't.
Like I suspected, after a few days Jessica's rumors faded away and people forgot about it. Everyone was searching for some sort of clue from Edward's body language or the way he looked at people, but he was really good at hiding his thoughts and emotions. No one ever guessed it was me, even though I was pretty much the only girl he ever talked to when we were in biology class. I guess the thought of Edward and I together was the last possible thing on everyone's minds. It worked out great because we could still keep our relationship a secret and Edward didn't have that fear of me being hurt from the rumors.
I continued to sneak out almost every night to see Edward and we continued to make love in his truck almost every time we saw each other. We were truly happy being with each other, and I planned to be with him for as long as he wanted me.
One night after sneaking out and making love to Edward, we were sitting in the truck wrapped around each other and I could tell Edward was upset about something.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I've just been thinking a lot about our future," he replied.
"What about it?"
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair while looking away. "Tonight is prom."
"So?" I said, not getting the big deal.
"So, it's something we'll never have. I've never taken you on an official date. I've never been able to tell anyone how much you mean to me. I just wonder if that's ever going to be a possibility for us. Will we ever be accepted by anyone? Will our entire lives be hidden? I don't want to hide anymore. I'm tired of pretending like I don't care about you. I'm tired of walking down the hall and having to turn my head away so I don't look at you. But at the same time I know there's no way around it."
"Edward, I don't care about prom or even going out on dates. Those things aren't important to me. I actually prefer to have you all to myself rather than share you with other girls who like to gawk at you. If you want to make our relationship public I'll follow you, though. I don't like hiding either and I wish I could tell people how wonderful you are and how much you mean to me. But our relationship has never been easy. We've always known this wasn't going to be perfect. But it never stopped us from trying and making it work. If we go public, it's just another obstacle we have to endure and can get through." The thought of going public was terrifying especially where my dad was concerned, but in a way Edward was right. We needed to come clean if we ever wanted anything more in our relationship. Like he had mentioned before, if we ever did decide to get married it's not something we could do suddenly.
"I've been e-mailing back and forth with this manufacturing company in Texas close to the college you plan to go to. I've told them I'm looking for a job doing anything and they've said they'd be willing to give me a trial shot."
"Why are they so willing to give you a job?" I asked.
He huffed and put his head down. "I went and saw my dad in prison the other day. I need to admit that I did tell him about you. He's changed a lot since he's not drinking anymore. I'm not saying I want to have much to do with him but I just felt like I needed to go see him so he knew where I ended up in life. He said he was proud of me, which is the first time I've ever heard him say anything nice to me. I told him about possibly going to Texas where you were going but I was nervous about it since I didn't know anyone there and would have to find a job. Turns out he used to live in Texas long before my mom had me and he knows people down there. He gave me the name of a guy and told me to get in touch with him," he explained. "I wasn't going to at first but I decided to give it a shot. I called and talked to the guy telling him who I was. He felt bad for me so he said he'd give me a job on a trial basis. I still have to get there and do some paperwork and some training before they'll hire me but it's a start."
"You're really going to come with me?" I asked, giddy with excitement.
He nodded his head. "I can't imagine being separated from you. It's the only thing that makes any sense to me. However, I do want your dad to know before we leave. I want us to go together. I don't want to sneak off and follow you down."
The thought of telling my dad was gut-wrenching. I knew he wouldn't understand. But, Edward was right. He needed to know. I was eighteen and could legally make my own decisions. If I wanted to leave with Edward, I had every right to do so. I nodded my head and promised him we would tell my dad soon. I started to gather up my stuff just as it started to rain outside. I had to take the trail home in the rain before so it wasn't a big deal, but Edward begged me to stay a little longer to see if it let up a little. I gave in with a smile and curled up next to him while listening to the rain come down. Edward drew soothing circles along my arm as we talked about going to Texas and being able to go out in public without the fear of ridicule. He seemed excited about the probability of a job. Here in Forks no one was willing to hire him even for a part time minimum wage job. This move was going to change things for the both of us.
Neither of us realized we had fallen asleep until the next morning when we were awoken by the sunlight. Panic rushed through me. If my dad discovered I wasn't home, he was going to be furious. I quickly started to gather my stuff up and throw my coat back on. Edward opened his door and helped me out. He took my hand and started to walk me towards the trees when we both suddenly stopped. Standing in front of us along the side of the road was my dad and three other cops. My dad looked upset and disappointed. Edward quickly let go of my hand and took a step forward to stand in front of me in a protective stance.
"Get in the car, Bella," my dad shouted.
"Dad," I began, already crying.
"Now!" he yelled, cutting me off and refusing to listen to anything I had to say. One of the other cops came over and began to usher me away from Edward.
"It's not her fault. I asked her to come," Edward defended.
"Yes, it is your fault. It's your fault my wife is gone and it's your fault my daughter's a slut," I could hear my dad saying. I was put into the back of the police car and left to watch as my dad continued to yell and scream at Edward. Edward just stood there and took it with his head hanging down. I could almost see the tears dropping from his eyes. I screamed when I saw my dad punch Edward in the stomach and slam him against the side of the truck with his hand around his throat. I tried to get out of the car but the doors wouldn't open from the inside. I screamed as loud as I could, begging my dad to stop. My dad continued to hit him and yell at him until Edward was nothing but a heap on the ground. Finally, one of the other officers pulled my dad off of him. In that moment, I hated my dad. I didn't want anything to do with him ever again. The second I could get out of the police car I was leaving and never looking back.
My dad walked towards the car and got into the driver's seat. I didn't say a word to him. I just continued to cry. My dad sped off down the gravel road, flinging loose gravel at Edward who still laid on the ground.
"How could you, Bella. How the fuck did that messed up asshole manipulate you into sneaking off to see him?" Charlie asked. I didn't answer. I couldn't even look at my dad let alone have a conversation with him. He wouldn't understand anyway. "Is this how you respect your mother and even me, by sneaking off with the boy who killed your mother?"
"He didn't kill her," I shouted through my sobs. "He didn't have anything to do with it, Dad. He was just as much a victim as you and I were. Do you honestly think he willingly got into that car with his dad and intentionally set out to hurt someone? He was just a kid, Dad. He didn't have any control over what happened. The only reason you hate him is because he reminds you of the man who did kill her. One of these days you're going to have to move on and let it go. Holding a grudge against Edward and using your power to make Edward's life a living hell is not going to make mom come back. It's not going to make any of this any better. Mom's gone, Dad."
"I don't want you anywhere near that boy ever again, do you hear me?" he shouted, not listening to a word I was saying.
"I'm eighteen. I can do what I want. As much as you might hate it, I love Edward. Nothing you say or do will ever change that."
He grumbled under his breath and hit his fist against the steering wheel. "Damn it, Bella. You'll do as I say and that's final."
"I will do as I please," I argued back. "I'm leaving for college in just a couple weeks and I don't ever plan on coming back here. I don't ever want to see you again once I'm gone."
He laughed like he was amused by my comment. "How do you plan on paying for school? Did you forget that I'm the one paying that bill? No, I don't think you'll be going anywhere. I obviously can't trust you to make smart choices so you are not ready for college. When I decide you're ready, then we'll talk."
"What are you planning to do, keep me prisoner?" I asked.
"If that's what it takes to keep you away from that boy, yes."
"I hate you," I shouted.
When we pulled into our driveway, my dad stepped out and opened my door. I was just about to make a run for it but he grabbed my arm as tight as he could and dragged me into the house. He pulled me into my room and threw me down on my bed. I continued to cry while he paced my bedroom floor.
"A few days away from him will make you realize what a bad choice you made. I don't want him manipulating you any further. He's going to jail and we'll press charges against him for rape," my dad explained.
"He didn't rape me, Dad. I'll never admit in any court that he did either."
"You will do as I say," he shouted. "If you ever want to go to college you will do this."
I wiped my tears away from my eyes and took a deep breath before standing up and walking towards my dad. I looked directly into his face and clenched my fists together. "I'd rather die," I threatened. "Keep me locked up as long as you want. I'm not ever going to testify against Edward or stop loving him." My dad glared at me and for a split second I almost thought he was going to hit me when he raised his hand. He had never hit me before and he stopped himself before he did if he was tempted to. Instead, he let out a frustrated breath and left my room, slamming my door behind him.
I paced my floor and screamed into my pillow a few times. I even threw a few things at my door because I was so angry. Then I cried for the rest of the day. My dad nailed my window shut so I couldn't sneak out anymore and even went as far as unhinging my bedroom door. I couldn't believe how he was treating me. I was legally an adult and shouldn't be locked up like an animal just because I fell in love with someone he didn't approve of.
I called Edward's cell phone continuously with no answer. I knew he didn't like me calling his cell but since we didn't need to hide anymore, there was no reason not to. I even called the Cullen house but again there was no answer. When my dad saw what I was doing he took my phone away. My entire world was falling apart.
The next day at school rumors were already swirling about what happened to Edward. I found him standing by his locker trying to hide his face from the onlookers. I didn't care what people thought anymore. I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind. He sighed in relief and held my hand, which was placed on his chest, when he felt my presence. I could hear just about everyone around us stop in their tracks and gasp at what they saw. Edward turned in my arms and pulled me against his chest, burying his face in my hair. I let tears of anger and pain and even joy fall from my eyes and stain Edward's shirt.
"I'm sorry," I cried.
"It's okay, Bella. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." He pulled away and held my face in his hands looking me over. For the first time I saw what happened to him. There was a large bruise across his face where I'm sure he hit the gravel when he fell. He also had some cuts on his lip and just above his eye. There were some red marks on his neck where my dad held him against the truck and hit him in the stomach. I looked over him with sadness and began to cry again while I examined every single mark he had. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. It's just a few scratches. I've had worse, you know?" He laughed as if it was a joke, but when I didn't laugh or smile he went back to seriousness. "Are you okay? Did anything happen to you? He didn't hurt you did he?"
I shook my head. "No, he just nailed my window shut and took my bedroom door off the hinges. I'm pretty much a prisoner at the moment. I'm surprised he even let me come to school knowing you were here."
"I don't know if he knows I'm here. I was in jail last night and released early this morning. I should have gone home to rest, but I had to see you to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine. I'm just worried about you."
"I'm fine, too. Please don't worry about me."
"Edward," Mr. Greene, our principal, called from a few feet away. We both turned to look at him. "I need to see you in my office." I looked back up into Edward's face and gave him an encouraging smile. He smiled back and kissed me on the forehead before pulling away and following Mr. Greene down the hall.
When I turned around, I noticed all the shocked people staring at me with their mouths hanging open. Jessica was probably the most stunned out of all of them. She started shouting about how fucked up this situation was and there was no possible way it was true. I just rolled my eyes and walked away from the crowd. I didn't want to answer questions or see anyone. Instead, I hid in the bathroom until the bell rang and I had to go to class. People continued to stare at me all day long but I ignored them all. Even when Angela came to me and started questioning me about what was going on I just told her I didn't want to talk about it. All I really wanted to do was find Edward and figure out what was going on.
When I went to biology Edward was sitting in his seat. It was the first time I'd seen him since the morning when Mr. Greene pulled him into his office. I ran across the room and sat down next to him throwing my arms around his neck. He grimaced and pulled my arms away. I felt horrible since I was sure I probably hurt him.
"What happened with Mr. Greene? I asked.
He shook his head and looked down at the desk. "I was just told to stay away from you. Charlie was in early this morning and asked the principal to make sure I stayed away from you. I'm being escorted to and from every classroom and I have to eat lunch in the office. Your dad said I raped you so he wants to keep us separated as much as possible."
"But you didn't," I shouted, making everyone in the classroom turn their heads towards us. Edward's body went rigid with everyone's eyes suddenly on us. I straightened in my chair and pulled out my notebook to write him a note. I scribbled the words down and slid the notebook towards him. We'll get through this. We can do anything if we stick together. He shook his head in disbelief and furrowed his eyebrows. My heart sank at the thought of possibly losing him. Maybe all this was too much for him to handle. Tomorrow will be better. We just have to ride it out and wait for things to change. Once again he shook his head and grabbed the notebook to write something back. I never got to read it though, because seconds later Mr. Greene came into the classroom and asked for me to come with him. I reached for Edward's hand and linked my pinky finger around his before standing up. "It'll get better, I promise."
I followed Mr. Greene out into the hall and waited for him to tell me whatever it was he was planning to say. "You are being transferred to a different classroom," he informed.
"What?" I asked shocked by what he was telling me. "There's only two weeks left of school. How can I be transferred to a different classroom?"
"Mr. Banner will give you your assignments beforehand and you will report to Mrs. Donavan's classroom to do the work. She doesn't have a class during this period so she will supervise and help you with anything you need help with."
I laughed and my eyes stung with tears. "In other words she's my babysitter. Does it not matter that I'm eighteen and can legally make decisions for myself?"
"You may be eighteen but there are still rules you have to follow while you're in school," he corrected.
"You know, just because my dad comes in here and starts using his power to force you to do things, does not mean any of you can keep Edward and I apart. We'll find a way to be together somehow. Once we're done with school, we're out of here."
"Bella, we're just trying to protect you. Edward is being accused of some very serious charges. It's not something we're willing to take a chance with."
"False charges," I corrected. "He's being accused of false charges. There is no truth to anything he's being accused of."
"Either way, we have guidelines we have to follow in this type of situation. Now, please come with me." I followed Mr. Greene into Mrs. Donavan's classroom and sat down at a desk. He handed me a piece of paper with my assignment written on it and talked to Mrs. Donavan for a moment. I got out my textbook and did my work silently. After I was done, I wrote a letter to Edward. I didn't know how I would get it to him, but I'd find a way. I told him I loved him and that I'd always love him no matter what. I reminded him of our plan to leave as soon as we graduated. I still had every intention of going through with it regardless if I went to college there or not. My only goal was to get away from this town and be with Edward.
At the end of the day I handed Angela the note and begged her to give it to Edward for me. She was hesitant at first but eventually agreed to do it if I promised to tell her everything. I told her I would as soon as I could.
When I walked outside to head home my dad was sitting right out front in his police car. I rolled my eyes and huffed at seeing him. He got out once he saw me and told me to get in the car. People were staring once again at the scene. I tried to walk past him and ignore his orders but he stopped me by grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the car. He warned me not to make a scene if I didn't want to get Edward in any more trouble than he already was. I hated how my father had so much power in this small town and could pretty much do and say whatever he wanted. I got in the car and went home with him. I was once again trapped at home with no way of escaping.
For the next couple weeks this was what my life consisted of. I was escorted to and from school by my dad. I was separated from Edward by the school staff. My only contact with him was between Angela. I sent him notes every day and Angela somehow got them to him. He never sent any responses back though. I knew deep down he was giving up hope of us being together. He was giving up all together. I could feel it and see it in his face even though I barely saw him.
I finished my finals at school and everyone started to prepare for graduation. Graduation to me felt like a death sentence instead of something to celebrate. Graduating meant the possibility of never seeing Edward or getting out of this town. My dad probably had plans of sending me to some sort of convent or something so I couldn't ever see Edward again.
On the last day of school, which really was just our day of cleaning out our lockers and saying goodbye to our friends, I finally got a letter from Edward. Angela carried it to me with a huge smile on her face. When I told her about Edward and mine's relationship, she thought it was extremely romantic. She was a sucker for a good forbidden love story and since it was real, she thought it was even better. I tore the letter open and read what Edward had to say.
Please forgive me for not responding sooner. I've been under close supervision from everyone around me and haven't had a chance to respond. I hope you haven't given up on me. I still love you with all my heart, and I'm willing to do anything to be with you. The charges against me have been dropped because of lack of evidence and because you won't testify against me. I'm planning to run away tonight after the graduation rehearsal we're supposed to attend. Carlisle and Esme have agreed to let me drive myself there since they both have to work tonight, so afterwards I'm not going home. I'll be waiting in the usual spot for as long as it takes until you can find a way out to come with me. Please come with me.
I love you,
I smiled and sighed in relief. I nodded my head as if I was silently answering his letter. I planned to meet him and leave for good. I didn't know how I was going to get past my dad, but I'd find a way somehow.
I went home after school and discreetly packed my backpack with a few clothes and a couple keepsakes like pictures of my mom. My dad escorted me to the school for the graduation rehearsal later that night and was once again he was there when we were done. He took me out to dinner to celebrate but I barely said two words to him. He tried to coerce me to talk to him and he kept insisting what he was doing was for my own good. I gave him the cold shoulder all night and spent my time in my room writing him a goodbye letter. I told him what he did was wrong. How he treated me and Edward was wrong. I tried to explain I wasn't trying to hurt him in any way. I just needed him to trust me and accept my decisions. I knew what I was doing and didn't regret my decision. I begged him not to follow me. I told him he needed to get over his grudge for Edward and see the real person he is. I explained how Edward and I started our relationship and why I loved him so much. I even told him there was no reason to pay for college if he didn't want to because I'd rather have my freedom. I begged him to realize how he was losing me, just like he lost mom, because of his grudge. I wanted him to see the wrong in what he was doing and realize how much he was hurting me by his actions. I promised him if he could accept Edward in my life I would still continue to have a father daughter relationship with him. But if he couldn't, I'd understand and he would need to understand why I would choose Edward over him. The last thing I told him was that despite everything I still loved him and didn't want to hate him anymore.
I left the letter on my bed and grabbed my backpack out of my closet along with my thick coat. I slipped my shoes on and waited until I could hear my dad snoring in his bedroom. The one good thing about not having a door on my room was there was no chance he would hear my door creak when I opened it. As quietly as I possibly could I walked down the hall, avoiding any spots I knew creaked when stepped on and slipped out the backdoor. I took the familiar path through the darkness towards my future.
I made it through the last few trees before making out the familiar red of Edward's old truck parked along the dirt road. He heard me coming and ran the short distance into the trees to meet me. When we saw each other, we both smiled and threw our arms around each other like we hadn't seen each other in years. In a way I almost felt like we hadn't seen each other in years.
"Are you alright?" Edward asked. I nodded my head and smiled up at him. He smirked and his eyes twinkled from the moonlight hitting them, which made me weak in the knees.
He took my backpack from me and held my hand as we walked the short distance to his truck. He helped me in and threw my backpack in the seat next us. I sat as close to him as I could, never wanting to be parted from him again. Edward started up his truck and put it into gear. Before driving away, he turned towards me with questioning eyes. "Are you sure? There's no turning back. I don't want you to have any regrets."
I shook my head and smiled up at him. "No regrets. I've never been more positive of anything in my life." He smiled proudly and kissed me on the lips before taking his foot off the brake and heading down the gravel road.
Once we were safely on the highway, Edward pulled my hand into his lap and linked our fingers together. I glanced up at him in the darkness and saw a pleasant smile across his face. I knew that smile. He was happy, which was a rarity for both of us up until a few months ago. Now, being with each other and facing the unknown together, we could both be happy. I didn't care where we ended up or what happened in the future. All I knew was I planned to be with Edward forever. He was my happiness and all we needed to make it through this messed up world was each other.
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