WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FAN FICTION CONTAINS THE INSANITY OF A THREE IN THE MORNING FACEBOOK CHAT CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO OF THE CRAZIEST PEOPLE IN THE EASTERN U.S.. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
"OWWWWWW HOLY CRAP THAT HURT!" Chewy shouted after Stormie stepped on his toe while wearing stilettos (she was wearing stilettos, not him [that would just disturbing]).
"Ummm, were you wearing red socks…" Stormie asked, looking at his feet.
"Do you have a first aid kit?"
"Can you feel your big toe?"
"'Cause there's like a ton of blood coming from it…"
Slowly, Chewy looked down and saw that there was, in fact, a pool of blood at his feet, "Holy [CENCORED]!"
Wincing at the foul language Stormie awkwardly said, "I'll, uh… call a doctor… and change shoes…"
"DOCTOR … MEDIC!" Chewy shouted, "Yay!"
"Why are you yaying…" Stormie looked up from her half tied Chucks to see another pair of the same shoes. In fact, it was an entire Doctor.
"Well, the only thing I'm concerned about now is the amount of insanity in this room…" Stormie said.
"It's the perfect amount!" the Doctor said with a smile.
"Perfect is so mainstream…" Stormie said, hearing the sound of a TARDIS materializing behind her.
"Oh, hello!" a fez-wearing Doctor said, poping his head out of his time machine.
"Oh, God, paradox," Chewy mumbled.
"We'll be fine," the Eleventh said, fully emerging from his TARDIS, "There's still… twenty-four hoursuntil we have to part ways before the universe explodes."
Stormie giggled crazily at the thought of universal implosion. Chewy, however, laughed insanely at another thought, "Hehehe, Doctor?"
"Yeah?" Ten and Eleven said at the same time and then looked at one another awkwardly. "No, he was talking to me. No, it was me. I said it was-"
"Both of you shut up!" Stormie shouted.
"Um, I meant Ten…" Chewy said.
"Told you!" Ten said triumphantly.
"Doctor, do you currently have a companion?" Chewy asked, smirking.
"I've got three…" Eleven muttered, earning himself a suspender snap and a "Hush" from Stormie.
Chewy's smirk turned into a creepy smile. "Can I come with you?"
"I don't know, sure," Ten responded nonchalantly.
"You know," the Eleventh chimed in, "with two Doctors, the Dark Lord of All, and this Wookie, I'm sure we can build some sort of wibbly wobbly timey whimey thingy to keep the universe safe from a major paradox…"
"YES!" Stormie shouted.
"I already have an idea," Chewy said mischievously.
Knowing her friend, Stormie told him "No, we cannot put two sonic screwdrivers together."
"No, not that," He said.
"Then let us hear this idea."
"We go back to the time when the Master took over and he used the TARDIS to make a paradox machine, take the plans, and build a new one."
"That's crazy!" Stormie said, "But it just might work… Right, Doctor?"
"Yes," the Tenth said in perfect harmony with the Eleventh, "I'm pretty sure she meant-"
"Don't even go there, boys." Stormie warned.
"Send Eleven to do it." Chewy said.
"Yeah, one Ten is bad enough, we don't need two…" Eleven said.
"Oi!" said Ten.
"Boys!" Stormie shouted. Chewy glared at the Eleventh. No one insults his favorite Doctor.
"When I say 'boys', that goes for all three of you." Stormie warned again.
Chewy looked at his friend then walked over to his Doctor's TARDIS and leaned on it.
"Okay, get going, Doctor," the Tenth said casually with his hands in his pockets.
"What? Are you too scared?" Stormie taunted.
"Please don't start with that…" the Eleventh said.
"I don't get it…" Chewy said as a Cyberman walked in, "Oh, hi, Jimmy."
"I thought I killed you!" Stormie said, "With love!"
At that point the Eleventh couldn't help but ask "Of all things, why would you name a Cyberman Jimmy?"
"Fine then" Ten exasperated if no one else is going to protect the universe…" He went into his TARDIS "… Leave it to Ten…"
"Because I can." Chewy said. "Let's go, Jimmy." The boy and his Cyber friend followed Ten.
"Come on, we're gonna miss all the fun!" Stormie said, grabbing the Eleventh's hand and pulling him into Ten's TARDIS. Chewy sighed.
"Why the sigh?" Stormie asked, "I'm not missing out on this!"
"Okay…" Chewy said sadly.
"I don't suppose you mind if I steal my former catchphrase?" the Eleventh asked his last form.
Ten smirked "On the count of three-"
"Allons-y!" Stormie shouted and started hitting what were seemingly random switches. Meanwhile, Chewy was walking around muttering to himself about Time Lord tech..
"I think I just flew the TARDIS," Stormie said with a satisfied smile.
"No, we can't have landed, it didn't make the noise." Eleven protested.
"You know the huuung-chooo huuuuungg-choooong."
"It's not supposed to make that noise, you leave the breaks on."
"Well, I love that noise. It's a brilliant noise."
"And that's why the TARDIS always breaks, 'cause you leave the breaks on." Chewy said, walking over to the door.
"I have been leaving the breaks on for 700 years," Eleven said as if it were a perfectly fine reason.
Stormie just shock her head and sighed as she walked to the doors as well, "Boys and their toys…"
Ten grabbed his coat and Eleven straightened his bow tie and the four time travelers left the TARDIS.
Chewy looked around and giggled insanely as Stormie boasted. "I told you I could fly her!"
"Never said you couldn't…" the Eleventh muttered.
"Oh, but we were thinking it…" the Tenth muttered.
Meanwhile, Chewy had already found the paradox machine plans, "It's like you forgot the mission."
"You'd figure the Master would keep those in a more secure place…" Stormie noted.
"They were, but I blew it up with TNT," Chewy said casually.
"But then wouldn't the plans be destroyed too?"
"Don't break the fourth wall." Eleven warned.
"No more questions." Stormie stated, "Now for leaving. Do not want that creep finding us…"
"Too late!" the Master said, sauntering in.
"What the hell?" Chewy exclaimed.
"Stupid irony." Stormie grumbled. Quickly the four time travelers scrambled back into the TARDIS.
"Wait what just happened?" the Master pondered, "There was no story that I know of! Wait I just broke the fourth wall… NOOOOOO!"
MEANWHILE BACK IN THE TARDIS
Stormie was upset. "I can't believe he broke the fourth wall before I did…"
But the Doctor had more to worry about. "Plans, plans, plans… Simple plans. Can't believe we didn't figure this out on our own!" Eleven exclaimed.
"There wouldn't be a story line if we did…" Ten said. Stormie twitched.
"Stormie," Chewy said. "how is this happening? I surely thought that you would break the fourth wall first."
"Am I… losing my edge…?" Stormie slapped herself, "No! That will never happen! Curse you, AlternativeChick!"
"Okay…" Chewy backed away slowly from his crazy friend and began piloting the TARDIS. "Weeeeeeee, this is fun!"
"Take off the breaks!" Stormie shouted.
Eleven said to Ten "It's strange how we haven't said much…"
"Great we've all broken it now…" Ten complained.
Chewy laughed mentally and took off the breaks, allowing the TARDIS to fly through the time vortex, missing their destination, "Yay! No hands!"
"You nerf!" Stormie shouted, "We're gonna land in the 80's!"
"I thought you liked 80's music…" Eleven reminded her.
"Yeah… Aim for '87!"
Sadly, the speed was getting to Ten's head. "Weeeee! Chewy, this is so much fun!"
"Never thought I agree with a Wookie…" Eleven said, joining in their 'fun'.
"I know!" Chewy said, stopping the TARDIS in the 1880's. "Oops, I missed it…"
"Okay, Eleven," Ten said, "We really need to fix the paradox machine before something happens."
"Yeah…" the Eleventh agreed.
"But exactly where are we getting a flux capacitor in the 1880's?" Stormie asked.
"Chewy, take us to 2012." Ten ordered.
"Yes, sir." Chewy said, doing as his favorite Doctor said.
"Wow," Stormie said, "woulda thought you had one in your pocket, Ten…"
"Of course" he said, pulling one from his coat pocket.
"I love this," Chewy said, "Okay, let's build this paradox machine before we all die."
"Woo, no death!" Stormie cheered.
"Okay," Eleven said, "Nineteen hours before things get really very not good… Let's get cracking!"
Chewy took out his iPod and put on his headphones, playing loud rock music. In a matter of minutes, the paradox machine was finished. "DONE!"
"What…" Ten gaped.
"Woulda been a lot faster with electronic music…" Stormie noted.
"I'll have to send that to the Shadow Proclamation Universe Records Book…" Eleven said, making sure to remember the exact timing.
"Ever heard of a montage?" Chewy said, pocketing his iPod.
"Electronic is good for montages." Stormie said.
"She has a point there…" Eleven agreed.
"Wait," Ten said, "Eleven, can you tell me how I die?"
"Wouldn't this story like completely break the fourth wall?" Chewy asked.
"He will knock four times…" Eleven said ominously, "Oh and RTD left."
"And the fourth wall has officially been reduced to pebbles," Stormie announced.
"Hang on, I just realized something…" Chewy said, "We never fixed my toe…"