The fountain of fair fortune: Hogwarts style

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Daphne Greengrass, Professor Minerva McGonagall, professor Rubeus Hagrid, Professor Vector, Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore; Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Order of Merlin, First Class, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Grand Sorcerer, leader of the light, and a few more titles that I've probably forgotten. Neither do I own The Tales of Beedle the Bard, or any other related materials. (Phew, try saying all this in one breath.)

Synopsis: Harry, Hermione, Daphne, and Luna star in Hogwarts's adaptation of this timeless wizarding classic.

Pairing: Harry/Hermione

Harry-Sir luckless

Hermione- Amata

Luna-Athelda

Daphne-Asha

Narrator- The Sorting Hat

It was a week before Christmas, and Hogwarts was abuzz. Today there was going to be some sort of announcement made by Dumbledore. As Harry, Hermione, and Ron sat in Gryffindor common room, they contemplated what it would be.

"Maybe Dumbledore will finally sack Snape!" said Ron.

Hermione scoffed. "If that were true, don't you think he would have done it already?"

Ron argued. "Maybe he wanted to make it a public spectacle! Let us all laugh as he walks out. I know that's what I would do if I was in charge."

Harry intervened, seeing the row before it happened. "I agree with Hermione; if Dumbledore was going to sack Snape, he'd have done it already. In fact, he probably would have done it years ago."

Hermione said, "In any case, we won't know until tonight, will we?"

"Guess not." Ron whispered; his mood dreary as his two friends ganged up on him.

That night in the great hall, headmaster Albus TooManyDamnNames Dumbledore stood up from his mighty throne to address his pupils. "Students, pupils, and Weasley Twins," he said, gazing at them all with a twinkling eye. "I have an announcement to make tonight.

"Many of you are born to magical families, and are therefore familiar with The Tales of Beedle the Bard I am sure." After Dumbledore said this many cheers rang throughout the hall. Indeed every single magical-born student had read of the book.

"Yes, well, I am pleased to say that for the first time in more than thirty years, Hogwarts, for its yuletide celebration will be doing a pantomime of a story from the book. How many students here have read The Fountain of Fair Fortune?"

Again all the magical-born students cheered. Harry and Hermione just sat there, whispering to one another. Harry had never read the book, but Hermione owned a beautiful copy that had been on display at Diagon alley that summer, and she said that they could read the book together. They looked back up to see Dumbledore had started talking again.

"Now, as you all know, we need actors for this play, so may I have Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, and Daphne Greengrass come up here please?"

Harry was stunned, so Hermione took him by the arm and led him up to the headmaster, while Daphne walked from Slytherin table, and Luna drifted over from Ravenclaw.

When they arrived in front of Dumbledore the headmaster smiled and said, "Good, thank you for volunteering to be our main characters in this story. Harry you will-"

Harry interrupted him. "Headmaster, I don't know what's going on, but I can't be a part of this, I can't even act!"

Dumbledore smiled. "Not to worry my dear boy, I'm sure Ms. Granger can help you. In fact…" he got a far-off look in his eye. "Yes, that might work. I was planning on…but she would make a better match." He turned back to the crowd. "I have decided the parts that our beloved volunteers will play!" he turned and pointed to Harry.

"Harry will play Sir Luckless!"

At this the crowd, along with Luna giggled. Daphne smirked, while Hermione smiled. Harry was clueless as he had never read the book before.

Dumbledore went on after everyone had settled down. "Luna will play the poor Lady Athelda!"

The Ravenclaws cheered while everyone else clapped.

"Daphne will play Lady Asha!" Slytherin cheered yet louder, but for some reason, Daphne sagged her shoulders, disappointed. Hermione however, grinned, knowing what was coming.

"And Hermione will play…Lady Amata!"

Gryffindor cheered louder than everyone, with the Weasley Twins yelling the loudest, cheering on for Harry and Hermione. Hermione blushed slightly, smiling. Harry was still utterly confused, but grinned a little when he saw how happy Hermione was at playing her role.

Dumbledore continued, "Now that we have our actor and actresses, I would like them to head to my office, along with professor McGonagall and professor Hagrid."

The named people left the great hall, heading up to Dumbledore's office. Once inside they sat comfortably while Dumbledore explained the professor's roles.

"Minerva, I am putting you in charge of constructing our stage. You know the story; I expect nothing less than exemplary props for our young hero and heroines. Ask professor Sprout for help with the vines."

Minerva McGonagall bowed her head slightly. "It shall be worthy of an Outstanding Grade headmaster."

Dumbledore nodded and turned to Hagrid. "Hagrid, I want a Flobberworm for the first challenge delivered to Minerva tomorrow; she will transfigure it to the proper size and you can keep train it to lick tears in time for the event."

Hagrid nodded. "Yeh can bet on it Dumbledore."

Dumbledore nodded and turned to the sorting hat. "Adrian, am I correct in thinking that you might want to narrate?"

The Sorting Hat, called Adrian, smiled widely and said, "Anything to get down from this infernal shelf headmaster."

Dumbledore smiled, and turned his attention back to his pupils. "Now," he said, "How many of you haven't read the story?"

Just Harry raised his hands, saying "I haven't even heard of it sir, but Hermione told me during you announcements that she and I would read it together tonight."

Dumbledore smiled. "Good! Well then, with all that done, off to bed with you four. We have only a week to practice for the play, and there is much to do. Now off you trot."

The group nodded, and left. Luna separated from them soon after, and went off to Ravenclaw tower, while Daphne went down to Slytherin. Hermione was silently wondering to herself about wardrobe while Harry read her copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. They continued like this all the way up to Gryffindor tower, where Hermione and Harry went up to the boy's dorm to discuss the story.

-A week later.

The students of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry were seated in the great hall, impatiently waiting for the curtains to rise. And indeed there were curtains. The area that usually held the head table was now hidden from view, and had been all of Christmas Eve. The students filed in at eight o'clock and waited patiently while teachers in funny Muggle outfits or extravagant robes walked through the great hall and stepped behind the curtains.

Finally, at nine o'clock sharp, the curtains rose, and clapping ensued as the Hogwarts staff, along with Harry, Hermione, Daphne and Luna walked out onto the stage from a side door. McGonagall walked out with a stool and the Sorting Hat, placing him down on the stool which was sitting off to the side, and took her place in the crowd.

After a few seconds, (and a flick of Minerva's wand) the dirt laid out in front of the stage crowd rose, shifting and sliding, until it resembled a hillside in the background, with professor vector (Who was sitting comfortably in a floating chair above the stage, hidden) illuminating the stage.

Then the Sorting hat spoke.

"The Fountain of Fair Fortune." It said.

"High on a hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune.

(Professor Vector directed a Lumos onto the fountain.)

"Once a year between the hours of sunrise and sunset on the longest day, a single unfortunate was given the chance to fight their way to the Fountain, bathe in its waters, and receive Fair Fortune forevermore."

"On the appointed day, hundreds of people traveled from all over the kingdom to reach the garden walls before dawn. Male and female, rich and poor, young and old, of magical means and without, they gathered in the darkness, each hoping that they would be the one to gain entrance to the garden."

"Three witches, each with her burden of woe, met on the outskirts of the crowd, and told one another their sorrows as they waited for sunrise."

At this, Vector lit up the back of the crowd, where Hermione, Luna, and Daphne stood. They each went through the motions, pretending that they were talking. They couldn't really talk, as their voices were magically magnified for their parts, so they couldn't have a regular conversation.

"The first, by name Asha, was sick of a malady no Healer could cure. She hoped that the Fountain would banish her symptoms and grant her a long and happy life."

Daphne was lit up, and indeed she looked sickly. This was mainly due to her having taken a watered down version of one of the Weasley Twins' Fever Fudge. It was enough to make her slightly feverish and sickly, but not enough to prevent her from playing her part.

"My name is Asha," she said. Though the book didn't have much dialogue in it, the four students and Dumbledore had decided to spice it up a bit, so added more lines than were in the original. "And I have an illness no one can cure. I hope that the Fountain can cure me."

"The second, by name Athelda, had been robbed of her home, her gold, and her wand by an evil sorcerer. She hoped that the Fountain might relieve her of powerlessness and poverty.

The light faded from above Daphne, and appeared over Luna, still wearing her radish earrings. To add on to the effect of being Athelda, the one who wanted money, Luna twirled a single Knut between her fingers as she stood in the crowd. "I am Athelda, and I was tricked by a sorcerer. Now all I have to my name is this single Knut, though I do hope that the fountain can give me more than a single Knut; two would be better, so that I might rub them together."

No one commented on the fact that Athelda wasn't supposed to have a wand, and Luna had hers still tuck behind her left ear. It was Luna after all.

The Sorting Hat went on. "The third, by name Amata, had been deserted by a man whom she loved dearly, and she thought her heart would never mend. She hoped that the Fountain would relieve her of her grief and longing."

Hermione was illuminated next, in a flowing dress, with her hair done back. She bowed to the crowd, and then stood with Daphne and Luna. "I am called Amata, and my heart was broken by a man I thought I loved. I hope that the Fountain can cure me of my grief."

"Pitying each other, the three women agreed that, should the chance befall them, they would unite and try to reach the Fountain together."

Luna said, "We three should help each other, if one gets chosen, grab hold of the others, so we all may have our problems solved."

"The sky was rent with the first ray of sun, and a chink in the wall opened. The crowd surged forward, each of them shrieking their claim for the Fountain's benison.

The small hill shifted in front of the crowd on stage; a huge wall rose up, and as professor vector shown light on it, parted slightly, as the teacher/actors as well as the three heroines rushed forward.

"Creepers from the garden beyond snaked through the pressing mass, and twisted themselves around the first witch, Asha."

As the Sorting hat said this, a plant from the school greenhouses rushed from behind the transfigured wall, snaking a vine around Daphne.

"She grasped the wrist of the second witch, Athelda, who seized tight upon the robes of the third witch, Amata."

This scene had been well practiced, and as Hermione/Amata was dragged through the crowd by Luna, who was held by Daphne, she caught hold of Harry, perfectly timing it so that he would be yanked off the pony he sat upon in the crowd.

"And Amata became caught upon the armor of a dismal-looking knight, who was seated on a bone-thin horse.

"The Creepers tugged the three witches through the chink in the wall, wand the knight was dragged off his steed after them."

The crowd of teachers screamed frustration at this, but died down to let the Sorting Hat continue, thankful that their part was over.

"The furious screams of the disappointed throng rose upon the morning air, then fell silent as the garden walls sealed once more."

The crowd of teachers walked off stage as the "Wall" sealed shut, then disappeared into the floor to make room for the next stage. As the audience watched, the stage shifted to show Hermione, Daphne, Luna, and Harry all standing in a small flower garden, miming talking to one another.

"Asha and Athelda were angry with Amata, who had accidentally brought along the knight."

"Only one can bathe in the Fountain!" said Daphne/Asha.

"It will be hard enough to decide which of us it will be, without adding another!" said Luna/Athelda.

The Sorting Hat said, "Now, Sir Luckless, as the knight was known in the land outside the walls, observed that these were witches, and, having no magic, nor any great skill at jousting or dueling with swords, nor anything that distinguished the non-magical man, was sure that he had no hope of beating the three women to the Fountain. He therefore declared his intention of withdrawing outside the walls again.

Harry said, "I see that you three are witches, and seeing as I cannot best you to the fountain, I shall withdraw from the garden."

"At this Amata became angry too.

"Faint heart!" Hermione said. "Draw your sword, knight, and help us reach our goal!"

Harry pulled out a sword, and fell into step behind Hermione as she followed Luna and Daphne across the stage, walking on an ever-moving floor while the hat talked.

"And so the three witches and the forlorn knight ventured forth into the enchanted garden, where rare herbs, fruit, and flowers grew in abundance on either side of the sunlit paths. They met no obstacle until they reached the foot of the hill on which the Fountain stood."

At these words, McGonagall made the ground in front of them rise, and a giant Flobberworm slithered out. She had increased its size, and Hagrid had expertly trained it to lick tears when they fell. He could be a great handler when he wanted to be.

"There, however, wrapped around the base of the hill, was a monstrous white Worm, bloated and blind. At their approach it turned a foul face upon them, and uttered the following words:

"Pay me the fruit of your pain." Everyone in the audience giggled as the recognized the voice. Who would have thought of Snape having a part in a play?

"Sir Luckless drew his sword and attempted to kill the beast, but his blade snapped. Then Athelda cast rocks at the Worm, while Asha and Amata essayed every spell that might subdue or entrance it, but the power of their wands was no more effective than their friend's stones or the knight's steel: The Worm would not let them pass."

Dumbledore was rather proud of his shield charm. It had broken Harry's sword, and repelled every one of Hermione's and Daphne's spells.

"The sun rose higher and higher in the sky, and Asha, despairing, began to weep."

The Flobberworm, sensing tears, rushed forward, even as the Sorting Hat said, "Then the great Worm placed its face upon hers and drank the tears from her cheeks. Its thirst assuaged, the Worm slithered aside, and vanished into a hole in the ground."

Harry, Hermione, Daphne, and Luna yelled in triumph as the giant Flobberworm slithered into the back of the stage, as McGonagall reworked the hill into a moving slope, though the audience couldn't see from their angle.

"Rejoicing at the Worm's disappearance, the three witches and the knight began to climb the hill, sure that they would reach the Fountain before noon.

"Halfway up the steep slope, however, they came across words cut into the ground before them:

Harry bent over in his armor, and read words the words that appeared in the dirt. "Pay me the fruit of you labors."

Harry took Luna's Knut in hand, waiting for the next line, before following them as the Sorting hat said them.

"Sir Luckless took out his only coin, and placed it upon the grassy hillside, but it rolled away and was lost. The three witches and the knight continued to climb, but though they walked for hours more, they advanced not a step; the summit came no nearer, and still the inscription lay in the earth before them.

"All were discouraged as the sun rose over their heads and began to sink toward the far horizon, but Athelda walked faster and harder than any of them, and exhorted the others to follow her example, though she moved no farther up the hill.

"Courage, friends, and do not yield!" cried Luna, as she wiped sweat from her forehead and threw it onto the inscription.

"As the drops fell glittering onto the earth, the inscription blocking their path vanished, and they found they were able to move upward once more.

Delighted by the removal of this second obstacle, they hurried toward the summit as fast as they could, until at last they glimpsed the Fountain, glittering like crystal in a bower of flowers and trees."

As the Sorting hat said these things, the "landscape" around the four changed and the group found themselves back down on stage, with dirt under their shoes, a real, flowing stream in front of them, and a massive Fountain on the other side of the stage.

"Before they could reach it, however, they came to a stream that ran around the hilltop, barring their way. In the depths of the clear water lay a smooth stone bearing the words:

Hermione stepped forward, and read aloud for the whole Great Hall to hear, "Pay me the treasure of your past."

Harry stepped forward as Hermione stepped back, and withdrew his shield, waiting for the Sorting Hat.

"Sir Luckless attempted to float across the stream on his shield, but it sank. The three witches pulled him from the water, then tried to leap the brook themselves, but it would not let them cross, and all the while the sun was sinking lower in the sky."

Hermione quickly cast drying charms on herself, Harry, Luna and Daphne before the hat could continue.

"So they fell to pondering the meaning of the stone's message, and Amata was the first to understand. Taking her wand, she drew from her mind all the happy memories of happy times she had spent with her vanished lover, and dropped them into the rushing waters. The stream swept them away, and stepping stones appeared, and the three witches and the knight were able to pass at last onto the summit of the hill."

In truth, Hermione was glad that she had been chosen to play Amata, simply because she got to get together with Harry, if only in a play. But now she was pondering if this was the headmasters plan all along, because he knew that she actually knew the spell to extract memories from her mind, while the others didn't. She would have to think on it later, though she was still secretly happy about the choice of memories she had decided to discard.

"The Fountain shimmered before them, set amidst herbs and flowers rarer and more beautiful than any they had yet seen. The sky burned ruby, and it was time to decide which of them would bathe."

Professor Vector cast a Lumos Maximus and put a glass of red wine that she had been drinking in front of her wand to get the ruby effect. Admittedly it was a little dark, but no one needed to know why.

"Before they could make their decision, however, frail Asha fell to the ground. Exhausted by their struggle to the summit, she was close to death."

Daphne made a spectacle of falling, true to her Slytherin housing, and said, "Do not try to help, I can feel it, my end is nigh."

"Her three friends would have carried her to the Fountain, but Asha was in mortal agony and begged them not to touch her."

As the Sorting Hat said these things, Harry and Hermione bent down next to Daphne, but true to the story, she let out a scarily-authentic scream, and said, "Please! Don't touch me, it hurts too much to move…"

"Then Athelda hastened to pick all those herbs she thought most helpful, and mixed them in Sir Luckless's gourd of water, and poured the potion into Asha's mouth."

Luna walked up, having picked a few mints from the garden, and while Harry poured the mint leaves into the gourd to feed to Daphne, popped a picked radish into her mouth.

"At once, Asha was able to stand. What was more, all symptoms of her dread malady had vanished."

"I am cured!" Daphne cried out, "I have no need of the Fountain, let Athelda bathe!"

"But Athelda was busy collecting more herbs in her apron."

"If I can cure this disease, I shall earn gold aplenty! Let Amata bathe!" said Luna, before she popped another radish.

"Sir Luckless bowed and gestured Amata toward the Fountain, but she shook her head. The stream had washed away all regret for her lover, and she saw now that he had been cruel and faithless, and that it was happiness enough to be rid of him."

"Good sir, you must bathe, as a reward for all your chivalry!" Hermione said, and watched as Harry nodded. She couldn't see his face through that damnable visor, but the nod told her that he was proud of them all for having done so well during the play.

"So the knight clanked forth in the last rays of the setting sun, and bathed in the Fountain of Fair Fortune, astonished that he was the chosen one of hundreds and giddy with his incredible luck.

"As the sun fell below the horizon, Sir Luckless emerged from the waters with the glory of his triumph upon him, and flung himself in his rusted armor at the feet of Amata, who was the kindest and most beautiful woman ha head ever beheld."

Harry emerged from the Fountain, and as the hat said it, knelt at Hermione's feet, taking his hand in hers and saying his lines, though they weren't in the book. "Amata," he said, "I am but a humbled knight, and I see that you are the most beautiful woman in the land. I ask you for your hand and your heart."

"Flushed with success, he begged for her hand and her heart, and Amata, no less delighted, realized that she had found a man worthy of them."

"Yes, Good Sir, you have both my hand, and heart, and they are yours forevermore." And in a tone so low, that not even her fellow actresses heard, Hermione whispered into Harry's ear, "both in this play, Sir Luckless, and in our real lives Harry. I'm yours."

Harry nodded, and held her hand as the Sorting hat finished off the play.

"The three witches and the knight set off down the hill together, arm in arm, and all four led long and happy lives, and none of them ever knew or suspected that the Fountain's waters carried no enchantment at all."

As the Sorting hat fell quiet, the Great hall erupted in applause, and as the stage returned to normal, Harry, holding hands with Hermione stepped forward, along with Luna and Daphne and took a bow, while the hat bent forward slightly. Dumbledore came out, along with the rest of the staff, while keeping the stars of the show at the front. He said, "Thank you, everyone, for letting us entertain you with the very first successful Hogwarts Christmas Pantomime play that we have ever hosted."

More applause.

"Yes," Dumbledore continued, "Thanks and applause are in order, but I would like to introduce you to each individual that you should applaud, if only to embarrass them more."

With that Dumbledore called everyone's names, including McGonagall, Hagrid, and Vector who floated down from above stage.

"With that concludes our evening play. The Feast is in half an hour, so that the Great Hall may be reconstructed, and our cast get into something more comfortable if the wish."

As everyone broke up, the quartet gathered around each other. Daphne asked, "Are any of you taking off these outfits tonight?"

Luna shook her head, "No, I don't think I will, I rather like my outfit."

Hermione agreed with Luna, "Yeah, I like my dress, I think I'll ask Harry to dance with me while I wear this and he wears his costume."

Harry took off his helmet, and smirked, "'Mione, if you want to dance, all you had to do was ask, you didn't have to dress fancy for me."

Hermione elbowed him slightly, but Luna beamed. "Oh, I Knew you would make a lovely couple!"

Daphne did a double-take, "Wait," she asked. "You two are together?"

Both Harry and Hermione nodded.

Daphne asked, "When?"

Hermione giggled, "About three second after Amata said yes to Sir Luckless."

Luna and Daphne cracked up, and went off to get refreshed before the feast. Harry turned to Hermione and said, "Did you orchestrate this whole thing with Dumbledore just to get me to go out with you?"

Hermione gave him an innocent look, one that he didn't buy for a heartbeat.

"The whole play? No." she said.

"But,"

She blushed, "I might have put a small compulsion charm on our headmaster as to the choosing of our roles."

Harry hugged her and started to slowly rock their bodies back and forth to a nonexistent tune, whilst being careful not to trod on her toes in his armored feet, and whispering in her ear, "You know, when I was sorted into Gryffindor, Adrian the Sorting Hat seriously considered putting me in Slytherin…"

Hermione smiled and whispered back, "Funny, it had the same problem with me."

Harry smiled. "I thought so."

A/N: ok, so this came to me while trying to write my other stories. I'm kind of in a funk, just can't get around to deciding where I want them to go, so I brought out my copy of The Tales Of Beedle The Bard, and read all the stories in it, along with the notes from Dumbles, and got it into my head, "What if they tried to do a pantomime again?" so I wrote it out, and it came alive in front of me. I do like doing little things like this when I'm in a pickle on my other works. Maybe I'll create a collection of one-shot-like stories that I see so many other authors doing. Funny thing is, I DO actually go through those, just to see what's on other author's minds. If you see an author with one of these, go through it, you might find an idea you love, or a really cute one-shot that you adore, but never would have seen otherwise.