Disclaimer: Don't own, probably never will (though I can hope), and I am making no profit.

Summary: Wally plus hair dye plus stress makes a very angry Artemis. Silly one-shot based on a headcanon; rated T for strong language.

Rating: T for coarse language.

Pairing/s: Very very very minor Spitfire. Really, if you don't ship them it shouldn't get in the way unless you are extremely picky.

A/N: Aha. So...here you go. Something based off of a random little headcanon I have. With thanks to shadowsong123 on Tumblr for helping me with Vietnamese words; kyd-the-wykkyd on Tumblr for giving me a title and il-labirinto on Tumblr for...er, trying to come up with a title.

EDIT: Fixed a few typos, pointed out to me by Ninetailsjinx, and juggled a few sentences around so that it, hopefully, flows better.

Warning: Google Translate has been used extensively. Please feel free to point out where foreign dialogue is incorrect so that I can correct it.

Of Pink Hair and Spring Rolls


Artemis' scream echoed impressively through the halls and rooms of Mt. Justice – in the kitchen, M'gann squealed, the cake she'd been carefully levitating crashing to the floor in an explosion of vanilla glory, Zatanna leaping quickly out of range; in the living room, Conner suddenly yelled and clutched his sensitive, Kryptonian ears; Kaldur, distracted, misjudged a step, allowing Robin to sweep a leg beneath him and send him to the floor of the training room; Wally choked on his chicken leg, coughing and spluttering dramatically, clutching the edge of the kitchen tabletop.

Zatanna blinked. "...Wally, what did you do?"


Inexplicably, a tiny smirk began to curl the corners of Wally's lips. Zatanna narrowed her eyes at him and went to speak – but any words were lost the second Artemis stormed into the room.

Artemis was swaddled in a dressing gown, obviously having just stepped out of the Cave showers. Water dripped from her, pooling at her bare feet. Her expression was livid, eyes wide, teeth gritted, a vein throbbing at her temple. In her left hand, she clutched an open shampoo bottle; her right was clenched into a fist, the tendons standing out beneath the skin.

And her tangled, waist-length, damp hair was electric pink.

Zatanna's eyes popped out of her head, mouth hanging open. "Artemis, what the hell happened to your hair?"

"Ask him!" Artemis snapped, jabbing a finger at Wally, who promptly started to snigger behind his hand. "It's not funny!"

"What's not funny?" Robin entered the room, with Kaldur close on his heel. Robin glanced at Artemis - and cackled.

"I dunno, Arty," Wally teased, "I think pink hair suits you."

Artemis seethed. "This is your fault, Kid Idiot!"

"Hey, hey, Arty! Relax!" Wally held up his palms in a gesture of peace, his amused smirk becoming a nervous one and beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "I, uh...how do you even know it's me...?"

"Because it's written all over your smug little face, jackass!"

Snarling, Artemis raised the shampoo bottle and began to beat Wally repeatedly over the head with it.

"Ow, ow, OW!" Startled, Wally shielded his head with his arms. "I-it was just a joke! Honest! Artemis, that hurts!"

"I hope it hurt! How the hell'm I supposed to go to school like this, huh? Did you think of that? No! You're just -" Artemis tossed the bottle aside, gripping her fuschia hair at the scalp. "You – you lo dit!"

Wally blinked. "Er...I what?"

"You idiot! Chet tiet, Wally!" She stamped her bare foot emphatically. "Do you know how cứt my week has been? First with – with Jade rối tung với cuộc sống của tôi and mẹ là tức giận when I haven't done a single damned thing, no, I'm a model sinh viên but vẫn tìm thấy một cái gì đó để chỉ trích!"

The Team gaped, any humour having disappeared and been replaced with pure shock as Artemis spouted what sounded, to most of them, like a stream of nonsense.

"Um," Wally began to protest, "Artemis..."

"And now – này! You thang cho day đã đi làmthis!" She gripped her hair again, red-faced. "Tôi đã là the scholarship kid, but now - bây giờ họ sẽ làm cho niềm vui của tôi, bởi vì tóc của tôi là màu hồng! Do khon nang!"

With a final yell, Artemis turned on her heel and stormed out of the room and down the corridor. In the distance, they heard the decisive slam! of a door.

There was a beat of stunned silence.

"It...it'll wash out easy..." Wally mumbled weakly, eventually, a dazed look on his face.

"Uh...Wally?" M'gann piped up, peering concernedly. "Your...nose is bleeding..."

It took a moment for this to sink it; then Wally glanced down to find a spot of blood on his shirt. He cussed violently, flushing furiously as his hands flew to his face and he dashed out of the room.

Robin's laugh echoed behind him.


Edit: ...Holy shit guys. 0.o I log on after a single night's sleep to find 11 reviews! Thank you all! I'm so glad you liked it!

To the anon who didn't get the ending: Haha...try watching a few animes. ;D It'll make sense.

To "Loved your story": I'm glad you liked it, but I doubt I'll ever write up another part to this. Sorry. ^.^; This is a stand-alone oneshot.

A few of you requested translations, so here is Artemis's fragmented Vietnamese in English. Again, I used Google Translate and I suspect a few of these may be wrong. If they are, please point them out.

lo dit = asshole
chet tiet = damn
cứt = shit
rối tung với cuộc sống của tôi = messing with my life
mẹ là tức giận = mom being angry
sinh viên but cô vẫn tìm thấy một cái gì đó để chỉ trích = student but she still found something to criticize
này = this
thang cho day đã đi làm = son of a bitch had to do
tôi đã là = I was already
bây giờ họ sẽ làm cho niềm vui của tôi, bởi vì tóc của tôi là màu hồng = now they'll make fun of me because my hair is pink
do khon nang = bastard