The Doll's Master
Disclaimer: Don't own American McGee's Alice. It's owned by Spicy Horse and I shudder to say it...EA.
A/N: Inspired by a drabble I found on tumblr. The drabble was from wonderlandsheroine. Plus I want Ary to draw more AMR pron...
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
I don't remember my past, without my memories I can't distinguish my present, with no past and present, I can't determine my future.
Dr. Bumby is here. It's alright now. I don't need my painful memories, Dr. Bumby always gives me better ones. He gives me all the answers, he gives me comfort. He takes care of me, he loves me. He gave me a roof over my head, got rid of my memories, he made me a woman. For that I am grateful, I am no longer a broken child. I am a fixed woman...his woman.
My name is Alice, I know that much because he calls me that constantly during our lovemaking. He's so wonderful, he calls me his favorite out of all the children he fixed and sold. How he'll never sell me, how he doesn't like other men looking at me. I remember the constant fights he had with the other men who wanted to spend the night with me. He always turns them down even though they're willing to pay a handsome price. I'm grateful for that, so I please him whenever I have the chance. He seems to like it whenever I take the initiative.
He's such a wonderful lover, he's gentle but strong. He likes it rough, but I don't mind. It shows his passion for me. He says that I am the queen of his heart. Queen...heart. Queen of Hearts? Why does it sound familiar? I can't grasp it, it's so close but yet so far.
"Alice..." Dr. Bumby holds me close, "You know I love you, don't you?"
"I know doctor." My head rests on his chest.
"You love me, don't you Alice?" He tightens his hold on me.
"You know I do...Don't you?" Why is he afraid? I do love him...don't I?
He looks at me as if he's trying to unlock the answers from my soul.
"Show me, Alice. Show me how much you love me."
And I did.
Our room was large, much nicer than my old room. It holds a large bed, a private bathroom, and a spacious closet. Our dresser holds the toys he likes use, it was...different. But I prefer the real thing.
I like it when I have to take charge. I rarely have the chance to. It's nice to be able to go slow, I can just enjoy the feeling of him inside me. Even though most of the time, our lovemaking has been quite passionate. I don't care for the sore feeling I get that lasts for days. Though my lover seems always pleased with himself. We always start with the basics: kissing, the slow shedding of clothes, the caressing of sensitive skin. He loves it when I suck him off. Lightly licking the tip, only to swallow him whole. Up and down his shaft, gently massaging his bits, the light scraping of teeth. He hisses in pain, but I suck and lick the slit in silent apology. He tastes salty, it's strong, and bitter, but I can taste the faint sweetness. The taste suits him, it's the taste of a strong man. He holds my head firmly, but he doesn't thrust deep. He wants to see how much I want him, need him. He's close, I can feel him tightening his grip, a warning. I let go, kissing him deep, the taste of him still on my tongue.
The slow stretching of my insides was a pleasurable torture. He takes up all the space I have. But he makes me feel complete. I still, relishing the feeling of him inside me for a few moments. My lover is impatient, gripping my hips hard, he thrusts upward, reminding me of my duty. I gasp, but I hold my own and kiss him into compliance. "You want me to show you. Let me" I tell him. He relaxes his grip, "Don't tease, Alice. I don't like teasing." He kisses me hard before lying down on the bed. I comply to my master's wishes. Slow and steady is how I like it. To feel him throb deep inside, his eyes darken in lust, his strong hands on my hips gently guiding the speed. It feels like an eternity, it's just us. No delusions, no fantasy, no reality even. This is our own paradise. From slow and steady to fast and hard. I reached my peak before he did, clamping hard on him. I screamed his name as I see nothing but white. I faintly register the feeling of his seed spilling inside me, hot and sticky. I collapse on top of him, tired but satisfied.
He gently pulls me off him, I miss the feeling of him already. So I curl up beside him, head resting on his chest, lulled to sleep by the steady beating of his heart. All I remember is the feeling of his arms being wrapped around me as the dark oblivion takes me.
In another place, Wonderland is no longer wonderful. It's ruined and shattered beyond repair. Everything has been destroyed by the Infernal Train, and the Dollmaker has ruled over all its inhabitants. Alice is gone, she's nothing more than a doll. A possession of the Dollmaker now.
The Dollmaker is at the front of the train, occasionally making new dolls while saying his favorite rhyme. A mockery of a father soothing his children.
"The train is coming with its shiny cars.
With comfy seats and wheels of stars.
So hush my little ones, have no fear.
The man in the moon is the engineer."
Several piles of dolls were around him. Some with no memories of the past or future, those are just puppets to do his bidding. Some were those who defied him, they got broken beyond measure. The only use for them is to provide fuel for the train. And some were in the transition stage, not a doll but not a living being. He'll get to those eventually. But one doll stands out before the rest. His favorite one, his most prized doll. The one who fought him with all she had against his control. The one who came close to defeating him. She failed though, she screams and weeps at her failure. He would have felt a little sorry for the poor girl, but alas. The Dollmaker is a monster, with no feelings of remorse. He cares nothing for living creatures, only his dolls, silent and obedient. She's under his control now, she belongs to him and that was all that mattered.
He keeps her in a large glass display case. She's there for all to see, look but don't touch. She's such a fragile thing. Easily broken, his perfect doll. His beautiful living, breathing, doll. Soft porcelain skin, large green eyes, soft supple mouth. He doesn't want her broken, so he does his best to keep her safe. Handling her with the utmost care, he'll do anything to keep her safe. She is his and his alone to keep.
He takes out the life-sized doll out of her cage. Gently petting her hair and face. He's infatuated with his prize. The Dollmaker in love with his creation. Kissing her softly, taking care not to leave any marks. "My beautiful Alice...I'll keep you safe from harm. I will love you and keep you safe. You're in good hands now. You're mine...forever."
He tilts her head to see her face. The doll's eyes were emotionless and empty.
Sometimes when Dr. Bumby isn't around, I hear voices. Voices that frighten me. They cry and scream for me to save Wonderland. What is this Wonderland they speak of? I don't remember a Wonderland, I don't know any of them. Why are they asking for me for help? It feels familiar, but it hurts.
I'm having hallucinations, I see horrible things. A mangy cat with a sinister grin, he tells me that I am a fool and I should wake up from my disgusting dream. Dream? This isn't a dream, this is my reality, you're not real, I tell it. He would shake his head and leaves a parting shot before disappearing. I have a feeling he feels disappointed...
Then I meet the Queen of Hearts. She looks like a younger version of me...I think. She shows nothing but pure hatred towards me whenever she sees my face. All she does is screams at me at how I single-handily let Wonderland be destroyed by the Infernal Train and the Dollmaker. I grow tried of her ranting and her raving and I usually ignore her. Sometimes I hear her cry...
The voices, the hallucinations. They bring nothing but pain, but the pain doesn't last long. They all go away once my lover comes in the room and stays by my side. Even days after our lovemaking, they won't come close, as if the essence of my lover wards them off. I told Dr. Bumby about them once, he paled and holds me tight.
"Listen darling, they are nothing but harmful memories. Memories that have cost you happiness, memories that were the cause of your suffering. I don't like it when you have these delusions. It's all in your head. If you continue to go down this destructive path, you'll be sent back to the asylum! You don't want to go back to Rutledge, do you?"
Rutledge...I don't remember my time there. But I shudder from the thought of being at the asylum. I'm not mad, I'm not! I don't want to be away from my lover. I don't want to be among mad people. I'll be good!
"I'm not mad! I'm not!" I screamed at him. The thought of being declared insane terrifies me. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I cried.
He tightens his hold on me.
"Hush darling, I'll never send you back to that dreadful place. You're very important to me. You look like you need an extra session. Wait for me in our room." He brushes away my tears and kisses me. I sigh and relaxed in his arms. He leaves for a moment to check on the other children.
I'm alone in his office, that's when the voices come back.
But...the voices...it feels like I know them...
"Fire, Alice, Fire!" "Save yourself! Wake up Lizzie! Lizzie, open the door!" "The key, Lizzie, unlock the door. You'll burn!"
"Help us Alice! Save us, Alice! Don't leave us alone, Alice! Don't abandon us, Alice! Stay with us!"
"A locked room is little more than a cage. A prison by another name. I despise concealment of any kind."
Are they...my family? I don't have a family...but why do I know their names...?
It hurts! The voices in my head, it feels like my head is splitting. Dr. Bumby will make it better. He'll know what to do.
I walk into our room. I'm late for our next session...he'll make them go away. He always does...
...Now that I'm done. Please review! Flames are fed to the Jabborwocky. Seriously I need reviews for this. It helps the muses...Ary draw porn!