Title: Simple Man

Pen name: FFLoverLaura

Characters: Bella and Sam

Rating: M


Summary: This is the story of a mother's love for her son. Written for AFlightForBobby Cause.

Warning: Heavy Angst

A/N: A special thanks goes out to JA Mash for pre-reading and making me the fuckawesome banner to go with it! (find it in my group) Love you wifey! And, a big thank you to my super awesome beta, texasbella. You complete me and put up with my stupid errors, thank you. Xoxo

Song that was the inspiration behind this fic is, Simple Man cover done by Shinedown. Here is the youtube video of my favorite version...

http:/ .com /watch?v=rgFQ6WmxdMs&ob=av2e just remove the spaces.



If there's one thing I would want my son to know, it would be that he is loved and cherished. That no matter what life may bring him, the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs; above all else, I wanted him to know how much he was loved.

Life hasn't been sunshine and roses, it rarely ever is. I have seen my own share of turmoil and heartbreak. But when you have a child, something changes inside of you.

Throughout Sam's childhood, I tried the best I could. Though I felt like a failure more often than not. Felt like giving up so many times and giving him to a family that would be better for him. That is how helpless I had come to feel. Being a single parent isn't easy; no one ever said it would be. I never imagined in my days of youth and seeing my parents so happily married, that one day I would bring a child into this world that would never know their father.

Samuel Kade Swan was born on a hot day in July, screaming and announcing his arrival into this world. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me, no matter what. It wasn't easy, but I managed to do the best that I could in order to provide him with the best that I could afford. He didn't have the best of the best, but he never once complained and always had a bright smile on his face when I would come home with toys from the local dollar store.

He was a simple little boy, but I couldn't help but wish and pray…to be able to give him the best. Every mother wants the best for their children, and when you aren't able to provide that? You feel like shit, you feel like a failure, you begin to question yourself.

Sam's father had passed away days after his birth. He never got to meet his biological father and it breaks my heart. Needless to say, I had to take on both paternal parts-mother and father. When Sam started going to school, he would often get into trouble. Sticking up for the littler kids, standing up against the bullies, but according to the school system he had anger issues and needed to be either put on medication or placed into counseling.

I was questioned many times by teachers and counselors on where Sam's father was, how our life at home was, et cetera. My son was sticking up for kids that didn't have the chance to do so themselves, and we were both being punished.

Sam came to be my best friend. We often talked about his days, why he did the things he did and how he felt about everything. We could talk about everything with each other, no judgments, just a mother and son talking about anything and everything.

I never did it to analyze my child. I wanted to get inside his head and help him to become the best person he could. Help him to make the best choices he could in his life. He was my whole world, and I would do anything in my power to help him achieve anything his little mind dreamt of. To be the best person he could, to always follow his heart, to never let the troubles in life get in the way, and that in the end, no matter what, I wanted him to be happy.

If I had only one thing to tell my son, I would tell him to be a simple man. Of course he knows what I mean whenever I say this to him. While growing up, every night I would sit beside him on his bed and read him a story. And every night, I would kiss his cheek; tell him I loved him and that no matter what may come, I wished for him to love with all his heart.

When he was a little younger, fourteen I think, he had asked me for a guitar. He wanted a way to be able to express his heart and feelings, the poor kid got his emotional side from me, but it made him cherish everything that much more. I saved all year and was able to purchase him exactly what he wanted. The smile on his face when he opened it that Christmas day will always have a place in my heart.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, Sam was seventeen years old.

And for five long years of chemo, radiation and treatments….Sam was always there, right by my side. Apparently, I had done something right.


Currently I am lying in my hospital bed at Seattle Grace Hospital, too weak to walk. Dr. Cullen had told us there wasn't much more they could do, the cancer was still progressing and was rapidly spreading. The treatments not working like they should be. They wanted me to be comfortable in my last days.

I sigh and look up when the door opens, and in walks my pride and joy.

I try and give him the biggest smile I can. "Hi baby."

"Hi mom, how are you doing today?" he asks, placing his guitar case on the couch across from my bed and sits down next to my bed, placing his big hand on my small, fragile one.

"I'm fine sweetheart, how are you?" I ask and rub my thumb against his knuckles. I hate seeing him so hurt and having to witness me going through all of this.

"Mom, everything's good. How are the treatments going?" he asks, looking at me with big brown eyes that are already shining with tears.

I take a deep breath, struggling to form the words I want to say to him. "Baby, we both know the treatments aren't helping." My bottom lip begins to tremble, my baby boy, I hate to see him so sad.

"Mommy," he begins, but his strangled sob breaks him from continuing as he rests his forehead against my hand as he squeezes mine so tightly. Even at twenty-three years old, my son still will call me mommy when he is hurting and it breaks my heart.

"Oh Sam," I breathe. "Please don't, I cannot stand seeing you hurting, baby."

"I know, I just…can't, it hurts so much," he sobs and kisses my hand.

"Sweetheart, I'm okay. Everything will be okay. You are going to do so many great things in your life and I will be shining down on you. I am so proud of you baby, so so proud."

"Can I play you something?" he whispers after his sobs have settled down. He sounds almost shy and I can't imagine why, he knows I love to hear him play.

My heart swarms with love. "Please, that would be wonderful baby. You know I love to hear you play."

He rises from his place by my side, opens his guitar case and pulls out his now outdated guitar. But he told me he would never part with it because I gave it to him. My heart melts again and the pride and joy I feel for my only son is…overwhelming.

Sam comes back to my side, placing the guitar strap around his shoulder and looks to me as he fiddles with the strings.

"I love you," he whispers, and then he looks down to his guitar, closes his eyes and begins to play.

My mama told me when I was young
Said sit beside me my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day
Oh, yeah it will

My breath hitches and I place a hand over my mouth. Sam had heard me listening and singing to this song years ago as I cooked dinner. He knew I loved the song and I would often sing it to him as we danced around the house. My baby boy learned how to play it for me…

Oh, take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there is a someone up above

He looks up to me and I can feel the passion in his words as he sings the lyrics perfectly. I don't even try to hide my tears as they pour down my cheeks…

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son if you can?
Then you can

He remembers. I can feel it. All those times I reminded him of the love and pride I felt for him, and my wishes for him to be a simple man, to love with all of his heart…

Don't get your lust from the rich man's gold
All that you need now is in your soul
And you can do this, oh baby if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

I remember the day, not to long ago when he told me he was in love. I could see it in his smile and feel it in his hug as he pulled me to him after he told me. Leah was everything he longed for in life; she was the nicest and most honest person I had ever met. I knew I was leaving Sam in good care with Leah…

And be a simple kind of man
And be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son if you can?
If you can

The love for a child is overwhelming. Capturing you and pushing your world upside down. No amount of money or luxuries in this world would ever be able to compete with a mother's love for her only son…

Oh, don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this, oh baby if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

Sam has turned into such an amazing young man and I just know he will be the best he possibly can. This is the moment of clarity and peace for me. Even in my short life, I know I at least was able to accomplish one thing…raising a headstrong and amazing man.

And be a simple kind of man
Be something you'll love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son if you can?
So baby be a simple, be a simple man
Oh, won't you do this for me son if you can?

As the last strings of the song end, he looks to me with tears pouring down his face. He hastily removes his guitar strap, sets it down on the floor and pulls me into the most wonderful hug. I can feel his love pouring from his heart into mine.

"I love you mom, so much. I hope I made you proud," he murmurs in my ear between his erratic breathes. I feel weak. My place on this earth has begun to diminish and I struggle to stay coherent, needing to tell him one last thing.

"You have made me so proud sweetheart. I will always love you. And don't ever forget, no matter what, you can do anything," I manage to say. I reach down and cup his cheek so that he is looking at me and once his eyes reach mine I kiss his forehead and lay back against the pillows.

"You are my greatest achievement," I whisper as the last breathe in my body leaves me and my eyes close. I hear him begin to sob as he clutches my hands to his face before darkness washes over me.

The End


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