A/N: Another chapter! Thank you to all those who have been reading the story. And thanks to those who have reviewed. The views are reviews are my sunshine when skies are grey ;) I'm sorry if the story is hard to follow and you have had to reread previous chapters, in my head the storyline is there so I know all the twists and turns and because I'm always rereading the chapters I can't tell if its confusing. It's just getting it typed and shared with my fellow people takes me time but please stick with it if you can tlc125!
Now on with the show! It's just Bella and Rosalie's POV in this chapter...Read and review!
Pink. Pink on my cheeks, bordering on fire truck red. Cupid's bow in the form of pink lips moving with a sexy sneer. Hot red fury in obsidian eyes like lava flowing from an erupted volcano. Right now I am looking at a visual delight, feasting upon visual ambrosia but sinking in to a spiral of select colours where all that exists is pink red, black and snow white.
As soon as the first words escape those lips I know that I'm gone. She could be calling me all the names under the sun but all I can focus on is the rich quality of that daze inducing voice. The slight tinkling and the occasional husk. The low tone, used to warn and instil fear does nothing of the sort but instead sends tingles down my spine, as though her voice is a lover's hand caressing my back and touching all the hidden sensitive spots which I didn't even know existed. The tingles turn to shivers of pleasure and I have to bite my lower lip and use every single ounce of will power I own to not whimper out loud in a class full of people.
She can tell that I'm not paying actual attention to her words, I'm taking them in, watching those lips move and form every vowel and every constant, the parted pout when she speaks words with an 'o' and the slight curvature of the corners of her mouth when mentioning the 's' sound, but the meaning of those words are not registering in this flabbergasted brain of mine which is stuck in a visual spiral of pinks, reds, blacks, whites and an audible spiral of tinkles and husks and low tones.
I don't know what gave it away to her. The wide eyed stare? The puppy like tilt of my head? The silence after her heated questions?
Whatever it is causes her to growl with frustration, give a final icy/hot glare, a few parting words and turn back around swiftly, her hair swishing and falling over her right shoulder and once again her angelic face is out of my line of sight.
I blink once. Twice. Thrice.
Oh no. I did not just act like I was ignoring her. Shit! Crap! Damnit!
I was handed a perfect opportunity basically on a wooden, pencil like platter to introduce myself apologise and then act suave, sophisticated and initiate my subtle seduction skills (which I now realise I possess none whatsoever, if my behaviour a moment ago is anything to go by.)
I groan audibly, which causes a few curious students to look back again, and face plant onto my desk. Where I remain for the remainder of the class. She doesn't look back once. Not even when she walks out the door when the class ends.
Stupid, awkward and idiotic Bella Swan.
I can smell and hear her making her way down the hallway after the first class ends. Every footstep she takes stands out from the others as though she's on a different walking frequency which I am attuned to. Every step causes the phantom beat of my heart, like the day in the garage to reoccur, so that it feels like a real live beating heart is residing within me. I grit my teeth and hold my breath trying to block out her alluring scent. I'm seated in my second class of the day and my control is already being challenged fiercely, not for the urge to bite her but the urge to just be close to her. Every time I get a whiff of that scent my vampire side screams and shakes against its cage to just ignore the stubbornness of this foolish being and just be near the source which makes it feel so so good.
I close my eyes and turn my head towards the window as the sound of her steps get nearer and the smell gets stronger.
Please don't be in this class. Please don't be in this class. Please don't be in this class, rolls around in my head like a mantra.
She takes a step into this class and I snap my eyes open. My body tenses as I fight the vampire side of me to stay in control and let me remain in this seat and not fly out of it and encircle that girl in my arms and keep her there for as long as I continue to exist.
She must have just stopped at the door because I hear no more footsteps and feel no more beats. Maybe she's not in this class.
"I know calculus is scary and all but you could at least go quiver in fear while being seated." Mrs Windsor says as she walks into class. I chance a quick glance from the corner of my eye and see that she is addressing the girl while the girl looks at her a bit dumbfounded.
She's kind of adorable.
The girl not Mrs. Windsor.
My body tenses further when I realise where my trail of thoughts are going.
Ignore her Rosalie!
"You must be Isabella, I am Mrs. Windsor, your teacher, now kindly take the seat behind Ms. Hale so that I may begin this fabulous class."
Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. Isabella. I feel my heart take a leap and get stuck in my throat at the name she says and now that name echoes around in my mind as a new mantra.
Wait she just said Ms. Hale.
Fuck. She's walking again and the beating sensation is back but with each closer step the beats are more forceful than the last. It feels almost as though I am suffering from palpitations. If I were human there would be sweating hands and panting breaths.
She walks past my chair and even though I am not breathing, her scent still attacks my senses. As I hear her take a seat I quickly turn to the front. Anything to help ease the distress she is causing me and the pleasure she is causing the vampire.
I am hyper aware of her sitting behind me, the breaths she is taking, the slightly accelerated beat of her heart, the small shuffles and rustles of her clothing. I can feel goosebumps rising on my arms and my body is still, no movement, just waiting for any small action she does...
A moment later I feel the smallest of pressures on my back but hear a resounding thwack.
I reflexively blink at the suddenness of the action.
Did she just have the nerve to throw something at me? I understand she is something special to my vampiric side but I am still Rosalie Hale. No one touches me without my permission. Not ever again.
Not even her.
I feel silent rage rush over me at an alarming speed. The frustrations of the vampire and my own confusion and frustrations seeping through and fuelling the anger even more. First she makes me feel things I've never experienced before, she makes me battle my vampiric side more harshly than I have ever fought it, control of blood lust doesn't even compare to what I've had to go through in the past 24 hours and she just threw something at me, completely disregarding the inner turmoil I have been enduring because of this...this...girl! This immature yesterday's child
I can feel my eyes turning darker and darker with every millisecond that passes. My jaw tenses further and I turn in my seat and face this human girl who somehow believes she has a get out of jail free card from the wrath of Rosalie Lillian Hale.
I fix the iciest and harshest glare I possess at her. Hot fury must be flashing in my eyes but the heat only increases the ice.
In the coldest and lowest tone I possess I speak the first words I have ever spoken to her.
"Are you that un-fond of your possessions that you feel the need to distribute them in the manner of a mid tantrum child?" The vampire in me snarls in protest for speaking to her in such a manner. Instead of sweetly and kindly communicating with her which apparently, according to the vampire, I should be doing, I am using the best intimidation and inferiority inducing skills which I have perfected over the years to insult her.
It hurts me. But it shouldn't. And I won't back off. Even if I wish that my tongue would catch fire after I finish speaking. Rosalie Hale does not back track for anyone and that just makes me angrier because for once the vampire wants me to stop. But I won't.
Isabella just looks at me with wide brown doe eyes as though I haven't even spoken. She tilts her head to one side and bites on her lower lip.
At enhanced vampire speed I glance down at those sin like lips just for a moment to appease the vampire. When the snarling in my inner mind quietens downs I rapidly look back up. I don't think she noticed where I was looking since it was too fast for the human eye but she was still doing that endearing puppy impersonation.
Noticing where my thoughts are headed for a second time I steel myself once more and try communicating with her again.
"Do you have a death wish or are you acting like an imbecile for recreational purposes? Because if that is the case then you have just met the person who will fulfil your desire for the first as for the latter I have no desire to be your 'play friend' but since you require someone to entertain the immaturity within you there are a many students here who can help you with that just not me. Now I recommend that you keep your belongings to yourself unless you want there to be severe consequences not just for your materialistic things but for you also. Understood?"
Half way through my little speech I grit my teeth when I notice she isn't even paying attention. She's still just looking at me the same way, as though she's looking right through me.
I growl in frustration and swiftly turn back around in my chair.
The air in this room is becoming saturated with her overwhelming fragrance.
She is sitting right behind me causing my vampire to go berserk.
And she has the most adorable expressions on that beautiful face of hers but she just ignored me.
Here I am fighting with myself over her and she doesn't even have the courtesy to answer me. To acknowledge, even with a slight nod of her head that I had addressed her.
Who the hell is this girl?
Am I the only one going insane here?
When the bell rings I rush out my seat quickly without a look back and leave the class.
I am still beating myself up about my stupid behaviour from earlier. I haven't seen Rosalie after that class and now it's lunch time. I'm feeling a bit glum and Angela has seemed to have noticed. She heard the little, erm, one sided conversation I had with Rosalie.
"Bella don't worry about it, Rosalie is like that with everyone, well except to her family. The rest of the student body calls her the Ice queen for a reason and you just found out why, personally. Just roll it off like water of a ducks back."
"Quack quack!" Ben decides give his input to the conversation and does a little duck impersonation by waddling in front of me and Angela.
I laugh at his antics but feel a slight spark of anger at the way Angela refers to Rosalie. I manage to diminish the spark as quick as it ignites and like Angela said roll it off like water of a ducks back. Ignoring the nicknames for Rosalie and the way I behaved earlier.
I believe in second chances and who knows I might be able to make amends when I see her again. Hopefully I'll make amends...Please let me make amends!
The three of us walk through the canteen doors and immediately I am hit with the image of a normal cafeteria, where a few people are taking a rather creepy interest in the new girl i.e. staring at me like they have never seen a stranger before. Move along people...just move along.
I pick up a tray and join the back of the queue like the good little lemming that I am. Why oh why do all government run institutes have the worst selection of food?
I grab a salad and a pot of yoghurt when it's my turn, pay at the till and follow Angela and Ben to the table where Jessica, Mike and Tyler are sitting.
"Sup guys?" Ben asks cheerfully as he's about to sit, placing a fry in his mouth while in mid action of sitting. The fries look as though they taste like cardboard and from the expression Ben makes after the first bite seems like that...yup they indeed taste like cardboard too.
"Hey guys, nothing much just the usual, oh! So Bella how's the day going so far?"
"It's good thanks, typical school day!"
Jessica seems content with that answer.
"Hey Bella, why did you move to Forks? I mean it's a small place, must seem suffocating when you've been living in Phoenix for most of your life?" Mike asks me while chewing his food.
"Gross Mikey, chew, swallow and then talk" Jessica scolds him and he gives her a sheepish smile while apologising.
I grin before answering. "My mom got remarried and Phil's really cool and all but I was kind of cramping their newlywed vibe, mom's wanted to travel the states for a long time and couldn't because of me so I said I'll stay with dad while she does something for herself for once."
"That's very mature of you Bella" Ben says while flicking a fry at me.
I blush while dodging the fry and throw back a lettuce leaf from my own plate. "I know dude, I was shocked myself."
The group carries on chattering amongst themselves asking me a few questions here and there.
"Hey did you hear that Lauren and Sam..." Jessica starts a new gossipy topic and I tune her out and look around the cafeteria trying to discreetly scope around for blonde haired beauties...table to my left...nope just a dude sitting by himself...table to the left of that table...cheerleaders...nope...nope...table at the far right corner of the room...porcelain like skin...super model looks...yup...yup the Cullens. Bingo.
Alice and Jasper are sitting facing towards me but seem to be in intense conversation with each other and sitting with her back towards me is the lady I have been searching for. She's cradling her head on her palm again, her elbow resting on the table but her other hand seems to be playing around with the food on her tray.
A small smile plays on my lips as I continue to look at her. Unconsciously I start to eat the poor excuse for a salad on my tray all the while my eyes are glued to her back. I slowly shovel the food into my mouth while paying no attention to the people around me and just zone into her.
After my like tenth bite the seat next to hers is scraped back and I am zoned back into my surroundings, well not my surroundings but her surroundings. A humungous dude takes the seat next to her. He has short black hair but damn he is built like a rock. Is he on steroids or what?
As if I have been forced into slow motion I see him put his arm around her shoulder, she turns her head towards him as he does the same. They seem to stare into each other's eyes for a long moment, it looks as though they are having a silent conversation where the understanding between the two is so deep that words are not needed. As though he has heard her silent speech he leans in towards her and she does the same. I feel small sharp pinches of pain start at the base of my heart and travel up towards the top. They meet halfway, my breath quickens, their lips connect and my heart breaks.
A sharp pain erupts from my chest; burning flames ignite in my wind pipe, all the way from my chest to my throat and the sensation causes a painful whimper to leave my lips. I drop my fork and clutch my chest and claw at my throat to try and lessen the pain. This dull aching pain that feels as though it is too much for one person. This pain is the combination of a thousand people suffering from the same ache but experienced by one. It is not something one person should feel. It is too much. Just like the pain when I first saw her. But that pain was bittersweet where it felt like my heart was swelling from the feelings it felt for her now the pain was tenfold because this grown heart is now breaking, ripping, shredding, crying . It is like I am being ripped from the inside, this heart wants to leave this confinement and bleed at her feet to show her and this cafeteria full of people the pain it is going through.
After the kiss he cradles her cheek and she leans into his palm. The intimate gesture between the two causes my eyes to well up. This heart is crying tears of blood and these eyes are crying too, leaving wet tracks down my cheek.
"Bella! You okay? Oh my god she's choking! Ben thump her back!" Jessica's voice rings in my ears. I break my stare on the...couple and look skywards all the while still banging on my chest with a closed fist. To the others it must seem as though I am choking. I must seem like such a freak. Faint the first day and choke on the next.
The longer I keep my eyes away from them the more the pain seems to lessen. When it is down to bearable level and Ben snaps out of his shock and thumps me hard on the back I gasp for air and luckily it enters my system.
I cough and splutter a few times. My breaths are heavy and I look around at the worried faces of my new acquaintances and the shocked faces of the other students in the cafeteria.
"I'm okay," I rasp out, while wiping the tears on my cheeks and under my eyes, "the carrot when down the wrong way, sorry guys." I get up quickly, picking up my half eaten tray of food while doing so.
"I'm just gonna go get myself, er, sorted. See you later." My voice is barely above a whisper and I hurriedly leave without looking back at the others or waiting for a reply.
I put the tray where it is has to go and storm out the cafeteria doors. As the doors shut behind me I full on sprint down the hallway trying to get away as fast as possible. I round the corner and luckily see a sign for the bathroom. Never slowing down I slam the door open and, thank my luck, the bathroom is empty. I lock the door and walk over to the sink. I stare at my reflection in the mirror all the while breaking down.
My eyes are red and puffy. I must have been crying while I ran. I didn't even notice. Every breath I take is heavy and ragged and my hand is still fisting the material of my shirt right above where my heart is situated.
She has someone. A six foot, muscled, male someone. How the hell can I even compare myself with that? That's the complete opposite of me! I take in a shuddering breath and try to sniff back the tears but they just won't stop.
The look in their eyes when they saw each other...the silent conversing...the comfort he was giving her...
I couldn't deny that she loved him nor could I deny that he loved her. The tenderness in that one simple action he did spoke volumes of their relationship.
Would I destroy that happiness? Would I even be given a chance to compete for her affections?
This was just a stupid teenage crush. I won't interfere in something which makes her happy. I want her happy and that display out there...that was her being happy.
I ignore the small voice that refers to this being more than just a stupid crush. The dreams. The fainting. The feelings. The heartbreak.
I ignore all of it and open the faucet, splash the cold water on my face and force myself to be composed. I bow my head and close my eyes while placing both hands on the counter. I will feel for her from a distance, but I won't let it be known. Hell I'll even try to stay away from her if need be...
No. I don't have the strength for that. I am merely human after all.
A small humourless laugh escapes from my mouth and it startles me. A human loves an angel. An angel loves...a rock?
A giggle escapes my mouth, this time from amusement (insanity must be finally settling in) and I look at my face in the mirror again. A smile evident on my face but the eyes...damn it, the eyes echoed the pain in this heart. I'll love from a distance and maybe try my hand at a friendship with her.
Yes. I'll be close to her; be her support system even, maybe it'll lessen the pain that is refusing to fully go away! Damnit!
I close my eyes and remember the little echo from my dream.
So close Bella, You're so close...But not close enough.
The rest of the day goes by fairly fast for me. I'm almost in a dream like state, just going through motions but never registering them.
The bell signalling the end of the day rings and I pack my stuff and make my way towards the car park.
I haven't seen her or her boyfriend since lunch which is a curse and a blessing. Angela and the others have been super nice though; they even brushed of my running of out of lunch saying that we're young and dramatic. Or as Ben put it shit happens, just go with the flow.
I'm nearly at my car when I see that Edward is standing next to it, his arms crossed against his chest. As he notices me noticing him (god that's confusing,) he uncrosses his arms and waves...
I walk over at an even pace and watch his mouth curve up into a small smile although his jaw is tensed so it looks more like a grimace.
When I reach him we stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before he seems to shake himself out of his stupor and extends his hand forward.
"I'm really sorry for my behaviour earlier, I wasn't feeling too good and didn't realise how strange I was acting...I'm Edward Cullen."
I shake his hand and notice the same coolness that was in Carlisle's handshake.
"It's cool, I get grouchy when I don't feel well too, Isabella Swan by the way"
"Thanks for understanding...the thing is I want to make it up to you for my behaviour earlier...I-I- er...-cough- was wondering if you would like to go out sometime, I'm asking in as a date... but if not! we could always go... as friends?"
Edward shuffles his feet looking quite uncomfortable as I tilt my head to the side to study him.
He is the opposite of Rosalie looks wise but personality wise they seem quite the same although his approach is much friendlier than how he was in biology and he seems less confident.
I contemplate his question. If we go on a date things could get messy with the whole 'I like your sister thing' and anyway there is no way I can date anyone yet. The pain is still fresh and it likes to remind me every time I think of her and feel a jolt shoot from my chest to my throat and feel my eyes threatening to well up.
As friends though...I could ask him things about Rosalie, or even find the opening to offer my friendship! We could be close! And who knows Edward might be cool too. So I'll have two buddies. Yay.
"We can hang out...as friends? I'm not ready to date yet, I'm still trying to settle in you see?"
I see his hopeful look deflate, crap, he wanted it to be a date! What if he says forget it?! I need a way to discreetly shuffle myself into Rosalie's life!
"Wait! We can go as friends...but if things go well...I might take you up on that date?" I shrug my shoulder to show my nonchalance about it all.
The small smile is back on Edward's face.
"That's great! Er-erm I mean cool...Can I have your number and we can arrange something for this weekend?"
I nod and hand him my phone, all the while grinning on the inside at the thought of being able to speak to Rosalie.
I feel a twinge of guilt. Here is her brother asking me out on a date while I'm thinking about his sister. I frown at the thought of being this sneaky person who is using someone for their own means. But a small wave of pain makes me remember why I'm doing this. I'm selfish. I'm human. I'm in pain.
I'm in love.
And all is fair in war...