Dear Readers,

This is my first-ever fan fic!

I came up with this on the fly, after laughing about the Doctor and River. What a ridiculous pair!

I sincerely hope you get a good laugh out of this. Please review!


What in the Name of Sanity?

"Where is he?" The Doctor scanned the crowd, one hand shielding his eyes, the other adjusting his bright red fez. The park was busy. He looked back at River Song, his friend and companion.

"Where d'you think he is? He said he would m- Hey! There he is!" The Doctor waved at the red-headed informant. As the man turned, his eyes widened and fear showed plain on his face. He turned and ran at top speed away from the Doctor and River, jacket flailing in the wind.

"Hey! Come back!" The Doctor, not wanting to lose sight of the fleeing man, ran in hot pursuit through the milling masses of people in the park. Luckily, his tall frame and the man's flame-colored hair made the job easier. The man looked over his shoulder and, seeing the Doctor dashing after him, made him put on an extra burst of speed. River, keeping pace whith her lanky friend, commented that anyone who knew his true identity would run, especially if they saw him wearing that ridiculous fez.

The man realized he could not outrun the pair. He turned onto a side street, whereupon he began leaping over fences and running through backyards to evade his hunters. The Doctor's long thin frame made it easy for him to bound over fences; his shorter companion, on the other hand, had to pull herself over the barriers. River stopped at the fifth wall and shook her head; this could take awhile. The Doctor was making good progress. Leaping over fences was hard work, of course, but he was accustomed to high-speed chases such as this. The Doctor was looking ahead of him, past a white-washed picket fence and across towards the still-fleeing man, as he leaped up and over. Taking two steps across the yard he promptly tripped on an Adidas football. His momentum sent him flying directly into a clothesline.

River Song came huffing over the fence, and stopped short at the sight that hit her eyes with the grace of a catapulted bear; there sat the Doctor, futilely attempting to remove a pair of checked briefs from his cranium.

"What in the Name of Sanity do you have on your Head!" The Doctor, at last freeing his face looked at her with surprise, briefs still clinging to the crown of his head.

"Boxers. I wear boxers now, boxers are co- actually I take that back. I like my fez better."