Broken Down And Built Back Up
Chapter Twelve: Hospital Stay Part 2
DISCLAIMER: I do not own in any shape or form "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber or anything else that has a recognizable owner.
NOTE: There is a lot of hurt/comfort in this chapter, but there is also a lot of Kick fluff, so hold on to your seats. This chapter is really long and I've been working on it for like six weeks, so I'd really appreciate if you reviewed. Enjoy the ride! =).
"Do you want me to call a nurse? What exactly hurts?"
"My neck and face."
"I'm going to get a nurse," I said and turned, but Kim grabbed my arm before I could get too far.
"No," she said. "Don't go. Please."
"Are you sure?" She nodded. "Well, if you don't want me to get the nurse, I'll have to fix you up myself."
"What? What do you mean?"
"You trust me?" Another nod. "Well, sit up."
When she did, I attacked her face and neck with light kisses.
"Do you feel better now?" I asked her, rested my chin on her shoulder and gave her cheek a butterfly kiss. I wish I could do this and so much more a lot more often.
I turned around and wrapped my arms around Jack's torso. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed. The hickeys on my neck and my swollen cheek had really been bothering me, and then he comes along and everything's better. That's just the kind of guy he is.
"Thank you, Jack," I said as Jack held me tightly. "And I really mean it. If it wasn't for you, those guys would have gotten away with hurting me, and I feel better already."
"So I take it my remedy worked?" he asked in an amusing tone.
I laughed, but tried to cover it up by hiding my face in his shoulder.
I smirked to myself and said, "Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't."
"Oh, really? Is that so?"
He pulled my face away from his chest so that he could see my face, and gave my cheek a big kiss, which made me blush deeply.
I was going to say something, but the door opened.
I rotated my torso, still in Jack's arms to see Cody standing there with an expression on his features that I couldn't quite decipher.
"Ah, I see you guys are busy, so, I'm just going to leave."
He was about to leave, but I spoke up.
"It's okay, Cody," I said. "What did you come here for anyways?"
"I-Okay, I came to apologize to you, and since Jack's here, I want to apologize to him too. I know I stepped out of line yesterday and it's my fault you got into...trouble. I'm sorry. I never meant to go that far, man."
I nodded and assumed Jack forgave him too because he got closer and opened his arms for a hug. I raised an eyebrow at him as Jack let me go.
"Wha'da you say?" Cody said. "Brand new start?"
I nodded and hugged him. His hug was pretty welcoming and warm, but the fact that he was sniffing my hair made things awkward and weird even.
"Cody?" I asked, seeing as it lasted longer than a normal hug would take. "Codyyyyyy?"
"Cody!" Jack yelled behind me.
Cody released me and shook his head.
"Sorry. I think I spaced out," he said.
After that, Cody and Jack shook hands and shared a bro hug, which I found pretty funny since Jack had a weird expression on his face.
Cody turned to leave, and when he got to the door, he looked back, his eyes lingering on my stomach for a minute.
When he was out, I turned to Jack and asked, "Is my stomach really that much bigger?"
"I, uh, you're not fat, you're just, well, you are pregnant with twins. Two. That ought to take more space, especially when you're half-way through the process."
I laughed at his stutter and nervousness, and said, "True. True"
A minute later my doctor came in to run some exams on me.
Jack and I were talking when his mom entered my room.
"Jack, do you think you could let me talk to Kim alone?"
He got up from the bed and walked away.
When the door was about to close I yelled, "Are you gonna come back?"
He yelled over his shoulder, "As long as you stay Kim-beautiful."
I knit my eyebrows in confusion, blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I wonder if I misheard him, or Jack just changed his mind about what be was going to say.
"Kim, how're you doing?" Jennifer asked me and sat down in the bed in front of me.
"Good, I guess. I don't know why I'm still here though."
"Jack asked your doctor to run a couple extra tests on you to make sure you were okay."
"Is that what's taking so long?"
"Yeah. Look, I was really worried about you yesterday and took the liberty to call your parents," I tensed up, but relaxed when she continued, "but neither of them answered. I don't know what's going on inside you. I don't know what you're feeling or thinking, but if you need to talk to somebody, I'm here for you. I realize I haven't quite...shown you or communicated to you what I think about you. I think you're an amazing, strong, beautiful young woman. I don't think I would have been able to go on living like you have. At first, I admit that I was a little reluctant to letting you stay at my home because I thought that you were going to be a bad influence on my family. Jack has told me a lot about you and one of the things I picked up on was that you were popular and a cheerleader. I thought that-"
"-that I was one of the brainless blonde cheerleaders?" I asked, giggling afterwards.
"Not...brainless. I thought that it'd gone to your head. Remember I saw you on TV? You seemed snotty. Living with you under my roof I've seen that you're not that sort of person. You're good for my son, and I like that about you, Kim. You make him smile even when you're not there. Having you at home has only made him happier, and as a mother, that's all you can ask for your child. To have him be happy no matter what. All I'm asking for you to do in return is to not hurt him."
"I don't plan on hurting him any time soon, but what if comes down to me having to hurt him in order to keep him safe? He got in a fight with his cousin over me. How is that right? I don't want him to risk anything for me. Not his family, not his friends, not anything. Him and your family have already done a lot for me, and I don't want to...to make him choose or something. What then?"
Before Jennifer could answer, the door burst open, making my heart go wild with adrenaline for a second.
"Somebody came to see you," Cody said as he walked through the door of my hospital room.
"Who?" I asked
Seriously, besides Jack and his family nobody else knew I was here. Could it have been that my brother had somehow found out? Was it his friends?
Cody shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. Just some guys. "
He left the room as somebody else came through the door and said, "Wow, Kim, I didn't think the next time I got to see you you'd be in a hospital bed, and in such a state."
My eyes went wide and I covered my stomach with a blanket as the guys came through the door.
I was speechless. My heart was pounding away like crazy and it felt like it was climbing up to my throat.
Rudy came into the room followed by the rest of the Wasabi team.
"Well, I'm going to let you talk calmly with your friends," Jennifer said and patted my knee. "Just remember that if that does happen, come talk to me. Or an adult. And if you don't feel like doing that, then just tell him the truth, okay? Honesty is always the best way to go, even when...even when it'll hurt someone's feelings. Just tell him the truth."
I nodded and watched her leave. Every step closer to the door that she took, the more I wanted to scream out for her to stay, to not leave me alone with this people who now felt like distant family members to me instead of like the brothers I thought of them as. Every step closer she took towards the door, the more my heart accelerated.
When the door clattered behind her loudly, I felt my heart jump to my throat.
There was an awkward silence that surrounded us. I draped my blanket tighter around my middle, trying to hide my baby bump (or was it babies bump?).
"Okay," Eddie said in a soft, but serious tone, "I know it's been a while since we all saw you, Kim, but it doesn't have to be awkward. We just wanted to make sure you were alright. Are you?"
"Well, I, uh, I really do miss you guys being around. The reason I'm here isn't really pretty, and I understand if you want to...to never speak to me or have contact with me again. Guys, I have to tell you the truth, and even if you decide that you don't want to stand by my side, just know that you'll always be my friends and family. The truth is," I casted my eyes downward, trying to relive the pressure of the moment, "the truth is that I'm p-"
I looked up when the door was thrown open so hard I thought it might fly off its hinges.
Jack put something down that I couldn't see, then came into my room and looked around, then landed on me.
He said, "Geesh, I'm gone for a little while and you throw a party."
My mouth opened involuntarily, but nothing came out of it.
"So? Wat'cha up to?" Jack asked.
"Kim was about to tell us something, weren't you, Kim?" Rudy said.
Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, yeah?" I replied, unsure. "I..." I couldn't seem to get the words out.
I swallowed and said, "Jack, can you tell them for me please?"
I put my legs up to my chest and hugged them to me as much as I could with my four-month-old bump. I tried to get more comfortable, but I couldn't since my knees were blocked by my baby bump. That's one of the many things I'm starting to hate about being pregnant. I'm becoming bigger and bigger every day and soon enough it's going to look like I stuffed a giant basketball beneath my shirt.
Jack put his hand on my shoulder before he started to talk.
"Kim, do you want me to tell them everything?" he asked me.
I pursed my lips and shook my head, then whispered, "Not in detail."
"Okay, well, for a long time now Kim's been having...issues. Before I go on, I want you to listen to everything I have to say before you go on and judge Kim. It's not her fault she's here and she needs our complete support. If at one time or another you decide it's too much for you, then all I could ask of you is that this stays between us."
Everyone's eyes where on me and they were silently asking me if I was okay.
I put my head on top of my knees and shut my eyes tightly as my breath starts coming out in short breaths. Jack rubbed my back and starts talking again.
"Kim's parents seem to never be around, and her brother's her legal guardian, buttttt... he doesn't take care of her like he should. Certain things happened in which Kimmy's well-being was endangered and we decided that it would be better for her if she moved. I don't know how to say this, but...Kim's pregnant."
Someone must have looked at him funny or something because he said, "And FYI, guys, I didn't get her pregnant."
I blushed like crazy even though nobody could see it.
There was a period of silence long enough for all the blood in my cheeks to leave my face and a while longer.
I raised my head right back up and looked at the faces of my friends.
They were definitely thinking through what I had just said and they didn't have any shows of disgust on their faces. Hopefully their opinion about me wouldn't change that much. I didn't want them to think I was weak, helpless and slutty-that would just break my heart.
"Kim," Rudy finally said, "friends built each other up, they don't tear each other down. I've said it before and I mean it. We'll always support each other. Right, guys?"
The boys all replied with different forms of agreement.
I smiled at them and was engulfed in a group hug.
Once we stopped hugging I looked away and wiped away the tears that had forced the way out of my eyes.
"So?" Milton said.
"So," Jerry said.
"Is anybody gonna say more than 'so'?" I asked them, then laughed at how weird my voice sounded.
"What's the baby's gender?" Milton asked.
"Well, you see..." I glanced at Jack, then continued, having found the strength in him that I needed to finish. "You see, there are actually two babies instead of one."
There were various reactions from the guys. Some gasps were heard and questions were thrown my way.
"What do you mean two?" Rudy asked.
"I mean," I said, "I'm going to have twins. I know most of the things you'll probably ask me, so I'm just going to answer them all at once. I'm still not sure if I'm going to give them up or not...it all depends on the fact of when my parents turn up and their reaction to it. Hopefully, I'll be able to do what's right. Their father is not up for discussion. The only thing you need to know is that you don't know him, so you don't have to worry about that...Um, I don't know their genders yet. I-I don't think I want to find out until they're born...I like surprises. Anyhow, do you have anything else you want me to answer?"
"Kim, two babies is a lot of work for just you," Rudy said. "Is the father going to help?" I shook my head, scared of even the thought of telling Aaron. "Maybe he could, you know, help you out, so that you can have a little time for yourself once in a while?"
I shook my head.
"I didn't tell their father I was pregnant. I don't want him to find out-"
"Kim, he might want to take care of you alongside your kids."
I saw Jack shake his head out of the corner of my eye. I glanced at him.
He was the only one standing beside me aside from Rudy since Jerry, Eddie and Milton were sitting down in the couches on the corner of the room.
"That's not possible," I said.
Rudy was about to say something when Jack interrupted him. He had been quiet for a while.
"Rudy, please listen to what we have to say. The guy you're telling Kim to go find will hurt her. He already has. He's a jerk that deserves nothing short of death-"
"Jack," I said.
He looked at me and continued.
"Let me finish, Kim. He deserves nothing short of death in jail."
I continued with what he was saying.
"If their father found out about them he would want to kill them," I said sadly. My eyes were full of tears I was trying to hold back.
I turned to Jack and buried my face in his chest as he held me. My life was so depressing at times.
Somebody came into my room and touched my shoulder, that person's hand freezing cold.
I lifted my head from Jack's chest after I composed myself.
"Ms. Crawford," the nurse said, "we need you to move to another room so that your doctor can run a scan on the fetuses."
"Can my friends come?" I asked in a small voice.
"Yes. If that's what you want."
"Yo, Kim, what if you gave birth to puppies?" Jerry said, laughing. "That'd be hilarious, yo!"
I narrowed my eyes at him and kept my face emotionless, then turned back to the nurse.
I shook my head and said, "Maybe not so. Maybe I'm better off going in by myself."
The nurse nodded and backed out of the room, bringing back with her a wheel chair.
I rolled my eyes and got ready to be treated like a sick baby. Sure, I was pregnant with babies and I had had an attempt of rape, but I didn't need a wheel chair for Pete's sake.
I threw the blanket off of me and made an attempt to stand up, but I was stopped by the pain in my back. I stopped and touched my back, as if it would make it go away. The truth was that it hurt much more than I was letting on. I could still feel the rocks and the bare ground that dug itself into my back. Behind my lids I saw what had happened to me last night and what could have happened if Jack hadn't shown up.
I sucked in a deep breath and stopped straining myself.
"Are you okay?" the nurse asked. "I could get somebody to come help you if you want."
I opened my mouth, but nothing actually came out of it.
"You know what?" Jack said, addressing the nurse. "I'll do it, if that's alright with you."
The nurse nodded and brought the wheel chair closer to my hospital bed.
Jack turned to me and silently asked me if it was okay for him to get me into the wheel chair. I nodded. He put an arm beneath my arm pits and one under my knees, then lifted me up as if I were weightless. When I was in the wheel chair he whispered, "Are you okay?"
I nodded again, unable to say anything because my back still hurt.
Jack turned towards the guys and said, "Jerry, don't push it."
"But…" Jerry said, "she just got so bi-"
"Shut up, Jerry," Milton said.
I turned and glared at Jerry, then said, "Thanks, Milton."
He nodded and I was taken out of my hospital room, on my way to yet another one. Great life to have, eh?
Rudy and I waited for Kim outside of the ultrasound room she was in.
"Soooooo," Rudy said.
"So?" I said.
"Kim's, uh, looking different."
"Yep," I replied calmly.
"Okay, Jack, I know there's something you're not telling me, so just come out with it will you?" Rudy said, yelling out the last part.
I looked at him weirdly and raised an eyebrow.
"Rudy, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm okay. I just can't take not knowing something, okay?"
"Rudy, stop shouting, okay?"
"I will if you tell me what's going on. I'm freaking out here, Jack, just tell me."
"What do you want me to tell you exactly?" I asked, confused.
"What's going on with Kim? What is she not telling me?"
I stared at him, analyzing what he was saying.
Finally, I said, "It's not my place to tell you what you want to hear."
For the next couple minutes Rudy bothered me until I cracked.
"Okay, you know what? I'll tell you the same thing we said before," I said, dropping my voice down to a whisper. "Kim's been having a really hard time because her brother hits her and he's the one responsible for her pregnancy, okay? She wakes up screaming at night, terrified of what he might do to her and what he's already done to her. She's scared senseless and she has a mix of emotions going on inside her, and she doesn't need you or anybody else to make her feel any more confused than she already is, you hear me? You're my sensei and I trust you. Don't let Kim know what I've told you, 'kay, Rudy? Don't hint at what you know that she doesn't know you know, and don't tell anyone. Got it?"
"You mean her brother…?" Rudy trailed off, looking slightly sick.
"Yeah, her brother…her brother's the one that got her pregnant," I said, feeling like I was betraying Kim's trust yet again.
Rudy turned and jogged to the nearest trash can, where he threw up.
I shut my eyes and hoped that Kim would just tell everyone at one point what had really happened, or that Rudy really kept everything inside and didn't say a word about what we talked about.
After a little while, Rudy came back, his face full of sweat, or water-I didn't know which. Right after, the door I was leaning on opened, startling me.
Kim came out, smiling. She was still on the wheel chair and was being wheeled out by her nurse.
Rudy and I followed them back to Kim's previous room. Before we got in, I made sure to whisper to Rudy, "Let's keep what I said between us, 'kay? Don't mention anything else to be about Kim's pregnancy or anything. I don't want Kim to worry. I'm dead serious, Rudy."
He nodded and said, "You got it, Jack."
I smiled and went inside Kim's hospital room, seeing the basket I'd purchased covered my black leather jacket.
After hours of tests and not-so-good hospital food, I was free to go home. I was happy about that, yet disturbed. In a hospital, you knew exactly what to expect, even if you didn't like it, but going back to Jack's home meant that I was going to go back to being on my own, not knowing where the heck my life was headed.
"Kim?" Jack asked as he stuck his head into my hospital bedroom. "Are you okay? Do you need any help?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I said and zipped up my sweater. Jack's mother had gone back home and gotten me clothes.
"Oh! I almost forgot to give you something," Jack said in an excited tone.
I looked at him curiously.
"What? You forgot to give me something?" I asked quietly, dumbfounded.
I searched my mind, trying to figure out what he might mean.
"Yep," he said and took his leather jacket off of something, then picked it up.
Once I was able to see it, I saw that it was mostly covered by colorful wrapping. What he was holding was a small basket. He handed it to me and touched the back of his neck.
"I was going to give it to you earlier, so that it cheered you up, but then the guys came in and the plan got screwed up."
I smiled at him, touched by his gesture.
"Thank you so much, Jack." I laughed and said, "I think you spend more time on getting gifts for your friends than in getting stuff for yourself."
Jack looked away, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong.
Moments later he was snapped out of his trance and smirked before he looked at me again and motioned to the wheel chair in the entrance of the room.
"Come on, Miss. Kimmy Kimberly Crawford; are you ready to go home?"
I giggled and reluctantly made my way over to the wheel chair and sat down. I wasn't fond of the thing-it made me feel useless.
He picked up the backpack I'd forgotten on the bed and made his way behind me, where he wheeled me out of the room.
The chair stopped for a second and Jack leaned down and whispered near my ear, "You can open it, you know."
I felt a shiver go through me and I smiled as he led me down the hall. I carefully, but quickly opened the package, tearing off the wrapper in the process.
I peeked inside and saw something I didn't expect: a cute, light brown teddy bear.
He was the size of a two-year-old child and was wearing a hoody that was purple and white yoga pants. Beside him was a box full of chocolate.
A loud sound escaped my lips and the few people that were in the hallway looked at me with that 'shut it' look on their faces.
Once we were out of the area and on the elevator down, Jack said, "From that, I take it you really hated it or really loved it."
I smiled and said, "Neither. I loved it too much to put words on it. I really really really REALLY loved it. I think it's the best gift ever. Thank you, Jack."
I tried to give him a one-armed hug, but in the end, he just wrapped his arms around my neck from behind, like one of those stuffed monkeys you win at a carnival.
Yeah...maybe the wheel chair wasn't really necessary, but heck, if it meant Jack would hug me from more often behind, then I'm all in.
"There's one more thing," Jack said.
"What is it?" I asked excitedly.
"Well, you can see it when we get home or in the car. You'll make too much of a mess if you take it out of the, uh, thingy."
"What thingy? The basket?"
"Yep. Underneath the hoody."
I wanted to start jumping up and down out of happiness-you know, if I still could with a growing baby bump.
Five minutes later we were in front of Jennifer's mini van. I was being carried bridal style by Jack. It was kind of awkward for me since he'd never carrier me when I was feeling perfectly fine and capable of walking.
"Jack, you know I'm perfectly able to walk," I said, though he already knew that.
"Oh, I know, Kim. Trust me, I know."
He opened the back door and sat me down on the empty seat. On the other side of me was Cody and Jaymee was in between us.
I chatted with Jaymee about light, childish things, then remembered that Jack had said there was something more to the bear.
I took him out of the basket with difficulty, then brushed off the little colored papers off of his fur.
I slowly raise up the hoodie up his body slowly, gasping when I saw what was beneath the hoodie. I completely took off his hoodie and smiled widely when I saw his outfit. He was wearing a cute little gi.
"This is so awesome, Jack. I love it."
"I thought you would. I mean, we all do karate."
I smiled widely then looked back down at the bear and hugged him to me. He was so perfect and soft-you just couldn't help but do so.
A week or two passed by since Kim's almost-rape and she seemed to go back to being pretty much her normal self most of the time. Sometimes she would just stare off into space, deep in though, or there would be a moment in the day in which she just looked incredibly sad, and all I wanted to do was hold her closer and tell her it was okay, but I held off.
She still had nightmares, though they seemed to be decreasing. She still came to me for comfort at night, either going to my room or calling out for me in her sleep. As horrible as it seemed to be to like the fact that she had nightmares, I secretly loved that she always seemed to end up in my arms. I didn't like that she was tormented in her sleeping hours-I wish I had the power to make it go away, but I would never ever wish for the closeness that I now had with Kim to go away. It was one of the main things I loved the most about being alive.
She was my baby girl, and I wish that I could claim her as mine, yet she didn't make a move and I wasn't going to force myself on her. The one time I'd called her that had been a slip-up as I was half-asleep. Thankfully, she hadn't brought it up in our conversations. Kim had probably forgotten about it.
I opened the door and slumped against it, tired. I headed toward the kitchen, where I was going to put down the grocery bags, when I heard the music and her voice singing along with it. I peered into the kitchen, then when I saw that she had her back to me, chopping things next to the stove.
She was cooking dinner. Wow. I didn't know she could cook.
The song changed and she put the volume up, moving her hips along to the rhythm of the song while she made dinner.
"If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go
I could take you places you ain't ever been before
Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know
I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow
Swag, swag, swag on you
Chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue
I don't know about me, but I know about you
So say hello to falsetto in three, two, swag..."
I grinned as her tank top rose up, showing white flesh. She was wearing jean short shorts, a hot pink tank top and a jeans vest.
I felt like I was under her spell. Everywhere she moved, everywhere she went, my eyes followed her, knowing it was wrong to watch her, but unable to stop doing so. She was just so sexy, especially the way she seemed to still be so innocent and pure after all that had happened to her, unaware that I was looking at her. And her voice-well, her voice was just so sweet and smooth that it felt like no matter what she sung it could never sound bad or dirty just because it was coming out of her mouth.
My grandfather stood beside me, mirroring my pose-upper body leaning on the entrance to the kitchen, arms crossed over my chest-and said, "You sure do love her, don't you? She's beautiful."
I didn't tear my eyes away from her, still smiling from ear to ear and said, "Yes."
A moment later, what had just happened sunk in.
I shook my head and tore my eyes away from Kim and stammered out, "I, uh, what? No. She's my best friend. Yeah, just...no."
I looked away, embarrassed. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole just so I wouldn't have to go through this. The pains of being a teenager.
"You know, Jack-" my grandfather was interrupted by Kim.
"I know I'm making dinner and everything tonight," Kim said, "but can one of you help me? I'm getting overwhelmed by it."
I raised my hand slowly as my grandfather continued to stare at me meaningfully.
"I will, ma'am," I said in a respectful-sounding way.
She giggled and waved me to come over, then greeted my grandfather, calling him "Mr. Jackson," which just felt so weird. I hadn't really heard anybody call him that before. Usually they call him by his last name.
Kim showed me what she needed help with, then continued singing, but softly this time. My mother and sister came along and completed the task of putting groceries away.
"...If was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go
Keep you on my arm girl you'd never be alone
I can be a gentleman, anything you want
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, never let you go..."
"Why are you listening to Ricky Weaver?" I asked when the song was over and another one started.
"'Cuz," she said, "while he may be an ass, I still like some of his particular songs."
Kim then continued singing in a calm manner and making dinner.
I stopped for a second what I was doing, and stared at her, a smile shaping my lips.
My mother and I were walking down the stairs at midnight when I heard a sob.
I glanced at my mom to see if she had heard it too.
"Mom can you go get that snack you were talking about while I go check on Kim?"
She nodded and left me alone at the bottom of the staircase. My mom and I had been having one of those mother-son moments in which you talk things out and remember why your mom is and always will be the best.
I heard the sob again and headed to the living room, where the soft glow of an iPad was the only light illuminating the room.
On screen there were people in the distance, strangers to me. At first it was fuzzy, but then the camera adjusted on a younger version of Kim.
Kim was sitting on the couch, her back to me, facing the screen of her iPad. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and her body was shaking with each sob.
I watched the video from behind Kim quietly, hoping she wouldn't turn around and see me watching.
In the video, Kim and a guy with dirty blonde hair and fair skin were arguing about something that I couldn't quite make out. The guy was talking behind the camera for most of the time, but showed up on camera towards the end. They fought for a while, back and forth, back and forth, but at the end, Kim kissed the guy's cheek-my heart started to hurt-and he whined, "Ki-iiiiiiim! Now I can't put this online! I can't have my baby sis kissing me. It's...it's...it's embarrassing," the Kim on camera laughed and hugged the guy as the screen went black.
Kim touched her cheeks, wiping away years, I assume.
I was in shock. The guy I'd just seen on screen was probably Kim's brother. The very one who had raped her, made her pregnant and had the decency to put up missing person posters.
It couldn't be, but I knew it had to be, unless it was the wrong person. He'd looked around fifteen or sixteen, and even though it he seemed a bit mischievous, he looked innocent. He looked like any guy our age would. Though he seemed to care for his sister was brotherly love, not lust like I'd imagined.
When I was at the dojo and when I wanted to get my anger out, I tried to picture his face and beat him up countless times, over and over again. I imagined a guy that looked like one of those stupid wanna be bad boys with dark hair, black leather jackets and a look that said "I'm going to treat you like you're lower than me just so that I can feel like I have power and am better than you." In the end, though, I realized that what I'd been beating up hadn't been him, but a punching dummy or punching bag.
Once I composed myself and backed up a good distance away from her, I whispered, "Hey, Kimmy. You okay?"
She turned to me and turned off her iPad, leaving me us in almost darkness. She must have realized it because she turned it back on.
"Yeah, yeah," she said, as if she were dismissing me. "I'm fine. What are you doing here?"
I put everything inside my head aside and chuckled, then said, "Well, let's see, this is my house, so I guess I should be asking you what you're doing down here."
When she looked away and didn't answer, I felt my (sort of) happy, cheerful vibe go away.
I sat down next to her and grabbed a hold of her hand. After a while of silence, I cleared my throat.
"I, er…do you miss your brother?" I asked her.
I swear, those words were absolutely not the ones I'd planned on letting out.
She looked at me in shock, opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. She squeezed my hand and looked away.
"I don't miss having him be drunk around me," she said softly, "but I do miss having him around. He might have been a pain the butt before, but he was my brother and I loved him just the way he was. He was really fun to be around." She turned to face me and I noticed the small pout that was shaping her lips.
"Kim, would you like milk or something to help you sleep?" my mother said a few feet away from us.
Kim looked up and shook her head.
"No, thank you, Jennifer. Thanks, but no thanks."
"You sure? I know you don't get much sleep."
"I'm sure. Thank you, Jennifer. For everything, I mean."
My mom nodded and left, calling over her shoulder, "Jack, your cookies and milk are already out. Hurry up, tomorrow you have school."
Kim released my hand and pulled her legs up to her chest again, hiding her face in them. Something about it made me think she was being cold.
I kissed the top of her head and got up.
"Goodnight," I whispered. You know where I'll be if you need me."
It was dark. He pushed himself harder into me, the scene blinked out, and he was hitting me like he'd never had before—with brutal force. Before, he had done things with his hands, like bruising me just by touching me too brusquelyon a spot, but in this dream he was hitting me with his belt and kicking me. It went back and forth between being brutally raped and being hit.
My eyes fluttered slowly before opening.
Somebody above me was shaking me by the shoulders. The room was dimly lit and all I could make out was that the person above me was a male. Aaron? Wasn't he tired of taking advantage of me? Of abusing his own little sister?
"Get away from me!" a girl's high voice said. I thought it was someone else, but a couple seconds later realized that it was my own. "Get off of me, Aaron! Please! I'll do anything," my voice became pleading. "Please, Aaron, please! No more! I'll be your slave and clean your room and do whatever you want me to do, just don't touch me! Don't touch me! Please! You've done enough!"
Somebody turned on the light and I realized that the person that was above me was Jack.
He let go of me and turned to his grandfather, who had a bow staff in his hand. He had his hand on the light switch. Jack looked back at me, and then walked over to his grandfather, who he talked to with ease.
I sat up and cried quietly. Something caught my eye and I glanced down at my iPad. Of course. That's why I was down here, in the living room and not in my room.
"…No, I didn't do anything to her…She only had a nightmare…" Jack said.
I only heard fragments and pieces of their conversation, but couldn't really piece much of what they were saying together.
The couch shifted beside me. I didn't move. I knew it was Jack.
"I'm sorry for scaring you, Kim," he whispered sounding awkward.
I didn't look up from my hands. I was too embarrassed to.
"It's not your fault, Jack," I said.
"I know I messed up, Kim," he said. "How could I make it up to you?"
He was looking away and I took it as my chance to climb into his lap without having to make eye contact with him. I hesitated before burying my face into his neck and wrapping my arms around him. Jack froze for a minute, then wrapped his arms around me.
Damn, this boy's my angel, my hero, my best friend and pretty much everything in between.
I softly kissed the side of his neck that was nearest to me, and said, "Just be you, Jack. That's enough for me."
He brushed his fingers through my hair, which after a while, made me start to feel sleepy. I tried to fight it off, but I just couldn't. He was Jack for heck's sake and he just had this calming effect on me.
"Just go to sleep, Kim," he whispered. "Do you want me to take you to your room or mine?"
I nodded as well as I could, which wasn't very nice to do since my head felt so heavy.
Jack laughed (how did he have the strength to do that at this hour?) and asked me, "Mine or yours?"
"Yours," I said, but it ended it up sounding like 'yos.'
"'Kay. I just need you to do one more thing before you go to sleep." Pause. "Clench your legs around me when I get you up."
I almost woke up when I heard that, but didn't have time to because I was too busy clenching my legs around Jack's waist as he lifted me up.
This has been like my longest chapter ever at 7,000+, so I'm pretty happy. I think I balanced out the fluff and the hurt/comfort well, but what do you think?
Just so you know, I will update Baby Boy next, but I haven't started writing the next chapter yet. Anyhow, I have been pretty busy with school, so if I don't update as often as I used to, blame it on school (I attend school till 4, get home at 5 and on top of that I just tried out for the school play). Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed reading this because it's taken me FOREVER to write it.
To my readers, but especially for my REVIEWERS:
~Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me that you have taken the time.
~Please write more than just "update please". It can be one line or two, but I'd like to see something like "I lik an _" or "I hat an _" (fill in the blanks).
~You will get an awesometastic sneak peek to the next chapter and if you like my story, Baby Boy, and you want a sneak peek for that too, let me know what your thoughts are!
~I didn't have time to edit the end of this, so if you find mistakes please tell me in a review!