My dream started out with me standing behind a large curtain in a palace. The curtain touched the floor and covered my feet, and it smelled like goat. I hope it wasn't made from the skin of my goat. Maybe the goat smell just came from my goat being nearby my sleeping chambers when I had this dream. The smell of goat was frequent throughout my dream. I smelled it in the castle, training field, and on the battlefield...
Now I'm getting slightly ahead of myself. I'll get to the training field and battlefield in time. Right now, I have to explain why I was behind that curtain.
The funny thing is, I don't know why I was behind that goat-smelling curtain to begin with. That's sort of a dream thing, you just accept things without question, and later when you're awake you wonder why you went along with something so unrealistic.
I don't want to think of that wondrous dream as impossible. It was a good dream, and I really hope that it was foreshadowing my future. That's sort of a lot to ask for, but I'm been wishing for that feeling of accomplishment, honor, and recognition my entire life.
In the dream I was listening America and England's conversation. I couldn't see them because the goat-smelling fabric I was hiding behind was far too thick. I'm not quite sure if I was actually hiding behind that curtain. I'm thinking that I was. But, I'm not sure why I would be hiding behind that curtain. It wasn't a world meeting I was listening to. So I'm not sure why I was so engaged in eavesdropping.
England was the first voice I heard. "With the way this war is going, it won't be long until I see the battles in my garden."
"Dude, that sounds like a total bummer," replied America's voice.
"It's a real shame. It took me days to get those pesky weeds out of my garden, and my roses have barely started growing." The sound of his voice suggested that he was frowning. "They're going to be trampled on and destroyed before I even get the chance to enjoy them."
"Well, I'm sorry that my bummed out leg can't be your flowers' hero." I peeped out from behind the curtain and noticed that America's leg was in bind. "This really sucks. This war could be over if the doctors just took these stupid bandages off."
England's face frowned. "Taking your cast off wouldn't help anything. Your leg will still be broken and useless until it heals."
"How did you break it?" I asked before I could stop myself from making my presence known.
I guess it was the dream that kept England from snapping at me for eavesdropping and being in a place that doesn't involve me, because England just smiled and laughed when he answered for America. "The idiot fell on his face."
"Hey, running for ice cream doesn't make me an idiot!" America protested.
I smiled and accepted the reason. I guess it was the dream that made America falling on his face and breaking his leg plausible.
America frowned at me, and then turned to back England. "I'm not sure why you're laughing at me. You got a much worse injury."
After America said this I noticed that England had bandages wrapped around his abdominal. I'm not sure if those were there before, or the dream just instantly added that minor detail. Whatever the reason, I accepted it to be plausible.
"Yes, but I got mine in battle unlike you," England spat as he took a seat in the chair next to America's bedside. "Sealand, would you like to sit down?"
That sounded way out of character for my jerk big brother. But, this was all a dream. And dreams can make jerks like England seem nicer. I hope England being more polite to me is something my dream foreshadows for my future.
I sat down in the chair adjacent to America's bed. I think that chair, like England's bandages, magically just appeared.
"How long has this war been going on?" My voice sounded too worried to be me. I think the dream was just putting words in my mouth, because I have little interest in war.
England sighed. "Twenty-five minutes."
"And thirty seconds," America added.
"That's dreadful," I said, "you would think that a war would be over after that much time."
"You would think," England repeated sadly.
Now let me remind you that this is all a dream. In a dream a war can last for twenty-five minutes and be considered a long time. That's perfectly plausible. America having a cast on his leg, that looks like they took over twenty-five minutes to put on, can also be seen as plausible. And England wearing bandages for a severe injury that he received, from a battle in this twenty-five minute war, can also be plausible.
"This totally sucks!" America exclaimed. "We're out of battle and about half of our soldiers are too. We need men if we want to win."
"I'll go into battle," I offered. "I can destroy Russia."
I'm not sure how I knew that this was a war against Russia. The dream just put words in my mouth again.
England frowned at my proposal. "You are but of youth, and he has been a man of war," he said quoting something ancient that I can't seem to remember reading somewhere.
England cut me off. "No, it's too dangerous, and you're too small."
"Russia isn't even letting Latvia fight for his side because he's too small," England stated. "You would be laughed at!"
"We would be laughed at!"
"I would be laughed at!" England sighed loudly. "Do you want me to become the laughing stock of Europe?"
"Ah, come on dude," America piped in. "We're about to hit rock bottom, or we already hit it. Let's just give the kid a shot."
"I don't think it's a good idea." England actually sounded concerned for my safety, or maybe it was just his pride he was worried about.
"Well, I think it's a brilliant idea." America smiled and stood up. I guess it was the dream that kept him from hurting himself with his broken leg. "Sealand, I'm going to be your teacher and teach you everything I know about fighting battles," he said to me.
England frowned and said, "Now I'm even more worried," before I could say anything.
"Relax dude. We're going to have this war in the bag!" America grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, before I had the chance to say anything.
He took me to an open field. I think the dream had a transition somewhere to make the walk to the field not happen. As soon we stepped on that field his cast disappeared, leaving behind no evidence that his cast was there to begin with. Since this was a dream, I found America's disappearing bandages, and ability to walk on a broken leg plausible.
"So, are you a spoon man or a fork man?" he asked holding a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other. The eating utensils seemed to have magically appeared in his hands.
He cut me off. "I think you're a spoon man. England's a spoon man, and you talk British like him."
"Huh?" He shoved a spoon in my hand, before I had the chance to question what he was saying. It was too heavy, and I ended up dropping it.
America frowned at this. "Try the fork."
He pushed a fork into my hands. Like the spoon I dropped it. "I guess I'm neither," I said after the fork hit the ground. "May I can use something simpler like a slingshot?"
I didn't suggest this, because I saw using an eating utensil as impractical for warfare. I suggested this because this dream liked to make fork and spoons heavy. I gladly accepted the use of eating utensils in warfare. This dream let me believe that it was plausible.
Sadly, this dream also made it impossible for me to carry a fork or spoon into battle. I could barely lift one for a second. If I wanted a weapon I could lift it would have to be a slingshot.
America didn't like the idea of me using a slingshot. "You'll be laughed at. And the Baltics would destroy you before you even reached Russia."
That line is sort of amusing to me now that I'm awake. This war was being fought with eating utensils, and America was telling me not to use a slingshot because I would be laughed at. It's so stupid sounding.
"I know this is a good idea," I said holding a slingshot that I don't remember picking up in the first place. Part of the dream thing.
America sighed and looked at my slingshot. "Okay, you can use your slingshot. But, it would make me feel better if you at least wore armor to battle."
I shook my head at his suggestion. "No, I don't like armor. It's too heavy and uncomfortable. Armor also likes to get really rusty under my pits."
I don't think that I ever actually wore knightly armor. Maybe I wore it for Halloween once. I don't know. I guess the dream was just putting words in my mouth again, because I don't think I ever wore armor that left a sweat stain under my arm.
Anyway, back to the dream. America didn't say anything else. It might just be that I forget part of the dream. I don't know, maybe the dream had some sort of transition. I think America would have least made that disgusting guffaw of his to my armor line.
Well, the next thing I knew I was standing on the battlefield with my slingshot without wearing any armor. I'm still not sure why I refused armor.
The ground smelled like goat, and Lithuania and Estonia were right in front of me laughing. They were blocking my path to Russia. And the dream made them appear very out of character.
Estonia put his spoon to my face. "Ha, they became that desperate for warriors," he said chuckling. He was certainty out of character, because in real life he doesn't sound like one of those people that hang out in front of gas stations.
I didn't say anything to his jest. I just stood my ground, and stared Estonia down. He moved his spoon away from my face. I'm glad he did, because I could still smell the Captain Crunch on it.
"You know, Lithuania?" Estonia turned to Lithuania. "I like this little guy. He has more spunk than Latvia."
Lithuania laughed and joined in. "Totally, maybe we should let him pass and complete his quest to our leader."
"Russia would destroy him," Estonia said grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Great entertainment." Lithuania smiled. "I even brought a camera to record his failure for the people of the Internet to see." A camera magically appeared in his hands.
They both stepped out of my way to allow me to pass. This had to be the stupidest war scene ever.
"Go on, little Sealand, break every bone in your little body and let what's left of you be turned to Jell-O," Lithuania said chucking, hitting record on his camera to film me walking away. "Jell-O is tasty!"
"I hope Russia doesn't pound you too hard," Estonia added, "little boy organs are hard to come by."
I didn't have time to be disturbed by what they just said, because the next thing I knew I was facing Russia. The dream made him appear larger than a giant. It was strange, because Russia didn't look that huge behind Lithuania and Estonia. The dream exaggerated his size. Russia might be tall in the real world, but he certainty isn't the size of two redwoods staked on top of each other.
"Well, well, well," Russia said laughing. "This is what America and England sent to face me?"
"Brace yourself," I said preparing my slingshot. "This is going to sting!"
My voice sounded really confident and cool, but it didn't move Russia at all. "Where's your spoon or fork? I can't believe America and England sent you into battle improperly-"
I cut him off. "Show me the money!"
I'm not joking; I actually said that to Russia. It really makes no sense. But, thinking about it now as I remember my dream I find it amusingly stupid.
Anyway, after I said my stupid line I fired my slingshot. The stone hit him right between the eyebrows causing him to tumble over like a falling domino. As he was falling his size was decreasing. By the time he hit the ground he was the size of a Lego man.
"You killed him!" I don't know whose voice said that. It sort of sounded like somebody wearing a Dark Vader voice changer.
England and America surrounded me. Neither of them was wearing a Dark Vader voice changer, so I'm not sure where that came from. They were cheering with excitement and admiration. I'm not sure how they got here from the palace so fast, and I'm not sure why they didn't have their bandages. I'm not sure where Lithuania and Estonia went. And I'm not sure what happened to Russia's Lego man size body, because that also just disappeared.
"You won the war!" America cheered putting a gold crown on our head. "I recognize you as a nation!"
I smiled pleased. It's not everyday that America puts a crown, that's not a Burger King crown, on your head. "It was nothing."
"Nothing? Don't be modest you ended our long forty minute war," America said hugging me. "I totally recognize you as a nation now!"
"Me too!" cheered England handing me a sash that said, "He is now a nation".
That's when I woke up in my bedchamber with my goat beside me. It made me sad to see that I didn't really have a crown or a sash. For a few seconds I had really believed that I had become a nation. I couldn't help but sigh as I sat up in my bed. "Don't worry," I told my goat as I rubbed his head. "I bet that dream was telling my future. We can only hope, can't we?"
For some reason I had a craving to write a David and Goliath parody. And, yes England did quote from the bible. I couldn't resist putting it in. Hope this wasn't too wordy. I think that I might have made Sealand sound a little beyond his years. And I'm kinda nervous that I'm the only one that found this funny.