Someone on tumblr requested a fanfic, and voila, this was created. I didn't want to make it a one-shot, because i'm the type of person who can't stop thinking about stories once I start.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Short and simple.
"You lied to me Rick!"
"Well you know wha? You lied to me too!"
"It's different!" she yelled, her face falling into her hands as she took a deep breath. She couldn't lose him, but she was just so angry. Her heart felt broken and her body felt heavy. She just wanted it to be over, but she knew he was just as angry as she was, and she couldn't stay angry with him. She couldn't let it be over.
"Wait!" she said as he stormed around her apartment, clutching his hands in frustration. "I was wrong Rick. It isn't different. We lied to protect each other, right?"
"I lied to protect you Kate" he said blatantly, "Smith said that if you didn't quit, you would get killed. I couldn't let that happen to you because I lo... You're my best friend Kate. I can't lose you."
"And you're mine Rick. I lied to you, but you need to understand. I thought that you would wait. I thought that you understood. I know that I should have told you sooner, and I regret not telling you, but I had to do it for us."
"For us?" he scoffed. "How?"
"If I hadn't lied… With how overwhelming everything was, I honestly believe that we wouldn't have worked out. We would not be here, now, together. After I got shot, the last thing that anyone needed was to be in a relationship with me. I knew then that I was in love with you Rick. But with all of my baggage with mom's murder and the shooting and everything, I didn't believe… I couldn't let myself believe that anyone actually loved me. We wouldn't have worked then. I would have been a notch in your bedpost, and you would have been one of mine. I would have screwed everything up."
Her head fell back into her hands and she sighed, tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. She wiped them away swiftly and looked back up at him.
Rick had moved closer, anger stull apparent in his eyes, though his heart was beginning to soften at the sight of her crying. "We would have worked Kate. Look, I think it's time for me to get going."
"No" she said firmly, wiping her eyes again.
"Yes Kate. This… Us… the lies… they're all too much. Goodbye Kate."
As he began for the door, she popped up from the couch and ran between him and his exit.
Kate didn't bother wiping the tears away as they fell down her face. "Rick, please" she begged. "Don't do this. Don't give up on us. I'm sorry. I am so, so very sorry. I forgive you for everything; the murder board, the lying, and the face that you have been as ass since that day in the interrogation room. Please, just don't give up on us."
Rick watched her for a moment, holding in a deep breath. "Kate, you know that I don't want to do this. But, I think that this is what is best for the both of us." He stepped up to her and pressed a soft kiss to her tear stained cheek and ran a hand over her arm, gently moving her out of his way.
"Until we meet again, Kate" he whispered in her ear.
She watched as he stepped out of her loft. The second the door clicked shut, she collapsed down onto her knees and let out a strangled so.
He was gone.
It was over.
One year passed.
She spent her days at the precinct, Tuesday afternoons in therapy, and nights in her apartment alone. Having her best friend disappear from her life hurt more than she could handle. She tried to hide her feelings, but it was difficult. At the precinct, she would plaster a smile on her face and pretend like everything was okay, delivering closure to families without her partner. Her friends, however, worried constantly about her health. Lanie and Esposito showed up regularly to make sure she ate, Ryan and Jenny brought their newborn baby boy around to spend time and cheer her up, and Jim was in and out weekly to make sure she was okay. It wasn't like her to have to be taken care of in such a matter, and it made her feel weak.
She hated it.
She hated feeling like her life was empty without him.
With the help of Rick's murder board, they had closed Johanna Beckett's case, but the closure Kate should have received was nothing as it should have been.
"Senator Harper, it's absolutely wonderful to see you" Kate smiled as she busted through his office door, her badge flashed at the guards who attempted to stop her.
"The please is all mine Detective… Beckett? I presume? I saw your picture a few years back… Something about a shooting? I do hope that you have fully recovered."
"I am fine Senator Harper. Thank you for your obviously fake concern for my well being" she smirked at the stunned man as she spoke.
"Well then… Detective, to what do I owe this great pleasure of having you invade my office?"
"You see, Senator Harper, I believe that you knew my mother."
"I highly doubt it Detective, but you may enlighten me."
"Johanna Beckett? The name ring a bell?"
His eyes widened and he shook his head, obviously lying. "Not familiar."
"Well Senator, this is where you and I will have some differences." Kate walked up and slipped her cuffs from her belt, slapping them around the Senators wrists.
"Senator Frank Harper, you're under arrest for murder." She read him his Miranda Rights as she drug him out of the room, doing nothing to hide the shameful Senator from the swarming paparazzi outside of his office.
Once he was in the care of Esposito and she was back in her squad car, it hit her.
She had finally caught the man who hired the hit on her mother. It was finally over.
Her head fell against the steering wheel as tears poured down her face. Though it was over, nothing felt, as it should have.
He was still gone.
Months had passed since the closing of her mother's case. The wall that she kept up finally crumbled, and she was starting to go out more, per orders of Lanie.
"Come on Kate! Girls night out!" Lanie called out as she walked into Kate's apartment. She was well past knocking, seeing as Kate wouldn't answer the door anyhow.
"Lanie, I just want to stay in tonight and watch a movie or something. Can't we do that?"
"Nope. Girl, you know better. Girl's night out means we go out. Clubbing, bars, dinner, dancing… Anything you want to do."
"Lay on the couch? Ooh! We could watch Casablanca."
"No" Lanie stated, pulling Kate off of the couch and pushing the resisting Detective toward her room. "Go put on something slutty and take your hair out of that ponytail. It's time to go out."
"I don't want to" Kate whined, groaning as Lanie pushed her into her room and threw a dress at her.
Ten minutes later, Kate walked out of her room, tight dress on, and heels in her hand.
"Fine, I'm ready to go out. Where are we going anyway?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
Kate sighed and slipped her heels on, grabbing her purse as she followed Lanie out the door. The last thing she wanted was to go to a loud club, but knowing Lanie, that was where they were headed. Much to Kate's dismay, she was right.
The club was loud and crowded with single men and women. Lanie was out and about on the dance floor, making her way through the crowd, talking to people she knew.
Kate was standing against the bar, bourbon in hand, counting down the time until she could leave. After her wild phase as a teen, the thought of going to a club was not appealing to her. She would much rather sit in her apartment with a good book, or at a bar like The Old Haunt with friends.
She leaned against the bar and swirled the bourbon in her glass, staring down at it carefully. As she stared down, she saw feet coming closer to her, and her head raised slowly, her eyes meeting those of a handsome blonde.
"Hello there" he said smoothly, stepping up beside her at the bar.
"Hi" she smiled, downing the rest of her bourbon. Talking to men that were not Rick Castle required alcohol.
"I'll take a jack and coke, and another of whatever this gorgeous woman is drinking."
"American Honey on the rocks" she nodded toward the bartender, before leaning against the bar, facing the blonde.
"So what brings you here?" he asked, sipping his drink.
"Friends, I suppose. How about yourself?"
"Same." He nodded his head toward a man out on the dance floor. "That's him. What's your name?"
"Kate" she said, holding her hand out to shake his. "And yourself?"
"Hunter" he smiled. "Care to dance?"
Kate sucked in a deep breath and looked down at her drink, contemplating his words. She could take the step and actually do something. It'd been a year since Rick left, and even before that she hadn't been in any sense of a relationship since Josh.
"Sure" she smiled, downing the alcohol once again, linking her arm with Hunters.
He did the same with his drink and drew her out into the center of the loud dance floor, circling his hand around her waist, his tall, strong body pressed up to hers.
They danced for about an hour before Lanie found them together.
A smile was spread wide across Lanie's face as she interrupted her friend. "Hey girl, you good!"
Kate smiled a little. Her smile said she was fine, but Lanie could tell by her eyes that she wanted to, and needed to leave.
"How about we get going?" Lanie suggested. She turned to the blonde and smiled, her hand wrapping around Kate's arm. "Sorry Mr. Handsome, I've gotta get my girl out of here." She smiled sarcastically and turned to draw Kate away, but Hunter grabbed her hand quickly.
"Wait" he said, pulling Kate in and crushing his lips to hers. Once he pulled away, he smiled and slipped a business card into Kate's hand. "Call me sometime" he yelled as the music got louder.
Kate nodded silently and turned, rushing behind Lanie to leave.
"How'd that go?" Lanie asked once they were in the cab. "Blondie was pretty hot."
"Yeah" Kate murmured, twirling the business card in her hands. She took a deep breath before looking over at Lanie, beginning to laugh. "Please never do that to me again."
"Deal" Lanie laughed.
The next morning, Kate woke up early and groaned, her hand coming to cover her eyes. The alcohol from the night before gave her a splitting hangover, and she felt like absolute shit.
She climbed out of bed and shuffled through her room, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and her NYPD hoodie. Realizing that she was out of coffee, she groaned again and pulled her flip-flops on.
Hangovers required coffee.
Big cups of coffee.
The fresh air hit her face as she took the long walk to her favorite coffee shop, thinking about the events of the night before.
She'd never admit it to Lanie, but going out actually did her some good. She didn't feel as sad as she normally did when she woke up. The therapy had helped, but she was still sad knowing that she had let her one and done slip out of her grasp.
Kate walked into the coffee shop and up to the counter.
"Grande skim latte two pumps sugar free vanilla" she rambled off, glancing over at the sandwich board. "And a breakfast sandwich."
She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, sitting in the corner of the coffee shop, playing on her phone, her mind drifting back to thoughts of Rick Castle.
"Now I'm going crazy… I actually hear his voice" she mumbled to herself as she cut the fruit flying across her phone screen. She wasn't looking up, until she heard his voice again.
"Yeah, I'll take a Grande black coffee."
She looked up as he turned and her eyes met his as her hand came flying up to cover her now trembling mouth.
"Kate Beckett?" he spoke, his voice breaking at the sight of her. "Oh shit."
Please review! I don't have a beta, so if there are any grammatical errors please let me know. Also, if you have suggestions on things that should go into the story or anything like that, please tell me.
Thank you to kathrynbeckett for the wonderful idea!