It was a beautiful day in Tethe'alla. Or was it Sylvarant? Does it even fucking matter? It's pretty much the same goddamn place.
In any case, Lloyd was strutting around town like he always did between 7-9AM humming and whipping those white cape thingies around like he owned the place. Then suddenly Colette.
"Lookit here Lloyd me and Raine made you a sandwich made from what we found in the mud!" she smeagled "isn't it tasty wasty?"
Lloyd's face remained happy and emotionless as it always does in cutscenes and he shouted with joy. "MY LOINS WILL HAPPY TO HAVE BE FED NOW!"
But then Zelos popped out of Sheena's cleavage holding a very tiny duck.
"This duck hold the key to the universe," he said all serious-like. The duck quacked. Then exploded. But from it's exploded feathers rose not other than bacon. A mass ton if it. From the bacon spawned Genis who had rainbow kendamas hanging from his ears.
"O HAY LLOYD" said the annoying little fuckwad everyone knows as Genis, "I was fapping to a picture of you and Zelos and Kratos making out. "
"Genis, you frog get out of that bacon" Lloyd said with passionate anger.
But then Sheena ate all the bacon in one bite. All at once. Because of her ninja powers or some shit. And she ate Genis! "That kid tasted like butt," she burped.
Zelos then jumped out of Sheena's massive boobies and twirled around in a circle. Colette made an frowny face and threw the sandwich at his head. Zelos caught the sandwich with his gorgeous gay red locks. "Cheeseburger," he smiled while his hair ate the sandwich.
There was a blue light and Kratos stood on Lloyds head. "My many belts have spoken," the belt-man Kratos said, "I love to make you smile smile smile. It fills my heart with sunshine all the while."
Raine exploded form the ground and screamed "RUINSSSSSSSSSSSSS" before digging back into the earth like a drunken mole.
Lloyd's spiky hair poked Kratos' foot and he deflated.
"ONWARD TWINKLESTICKS. TO THE MOON!" Presea yelled and she jumped on Noishe. Noishe meowed and farted off into the distance. Lloyd was sad.
"Aww man, there go my pancakes." He cried many manly tears of sadness.