Few days ago I published this story in Spanish. Then it hit me... why don't do so in English? There's currently a major progress in parts II and III so I hope they'll be soon uploaded. It is written in Bella's POV. AU, so don't get too angry if I don't really follow Twilight's canon. Thank you for reading. Enjoy!


Ironic

Part I: of how Bella Swan learned she should not drink and sing at the same time.


I never was one of those crazy, vampire obsessed girls. Don't take me wrong, I don't hate them either, but having to attend elementary school with a bunch of garlic hanging in my neck so I could avoid being attacked was enough trauma not to worship them.

I don't remember when the fight against vampires started, but I know that, one day to another, we knew they existed. It might not have been such a problem, if weren't because it was found that about one-eighth of the world's population had a diet based in blood. There was chaos and consternation everywhere. Many people couldn't believe we were infested with them. Then we had a horde of Volturi killing humans in self defense, until the UN and the vampires themselves came to an agreement. They will be allowed to live, in exchange for them to stop feeding on human blood, also forcing them, for their own safety, to move constantly.

It was this whole situation what eventually ended my parent's already beaten-up marriage. Renée became sort of activist for the vampire rights, while Charlie, a police officer, received-supposedly, at least-special training to defeat the mysterious creatures. I was, honestly, only worried that the garlic smell on my clothes wasn't too keen, until Charlie realized that the bulb did not help at all and delivered me from my smelly hangman.

After the divorce, I lived with my mother in Arizona, immersed in her constant demonstrations and talks. A lot of people believed it was because she, and therefore I, was a vampire hiding among the enemy, and I had to deal myself with the discrimination against a race in which I didn't belong. When peace came, however, things did not calmed down for us, and my mother and I were still bothered until she went on a trip with Phil, her new husband, time when I moved my residence to Forks, a small, humid town in the state of Washington.

The excessive amount of attention my arrival to town brought me was advantageous, at least because I didn't struggle to make friends. The picturesque group I belonged to kept me mildly entertained the first few months; unfortunately, by the time summer ended and we started high school, Forks was not enough for them, mainly for the boys, so we spent many afternoons wandering around town, with no direction.

Boredom took us a day to La Push. Last night I stayed awake talking with my mother, who was telling me Phil's latest adventures in baseball, so I was too tired to think straight and didn't hesitate a single second to drink when Tyler pulled out a bottle of Smirnoff of the rear of his van. Needless to say, I got high sooner than expected, and when Jessica began to rave and tell us her most recent vampire fantasies, I couldn't refrain and blurted all insults that occurred to me about the degenerated human race. I repeat, I do not hate them, but with all that alcohol on me, it was as if suddenly all the years being teased by them weighed on me. Jacob, an old childhood friend who had joined us that unlucky afternoon, did not seem very pleased with my obvious state of drunkenness, but seeing my spark on, something close to pride shone from the back of his eyes as he joined my disapproving comments with a few of his own.

"Flyiiiing shii-nyh ratsssssssss!" I remember how Jacob laughed uncontrollably at my failed musical improvisation. However, it would have been useful to realize that Mike was recording every second of my humiliating slip. The next day, while few looked at me with disgust or kind of sorry for me, most of high school was being very obvious while pointing at me and making fun of something I didn't know yet.

Someone showed me the video minutes before my biology class started, as if the hangover that plagued every part of my body wasn't enough. I felt like dying as I stumbled toward my place in the classroom. Mr. Molina tried to save me silencing the deafening laughter, but it wasn't long before himself rubbed at me the outrageous behavior I had shown the day before.

Fortunately, I could always count on Edward Cullen, the strange boy who seated next to me in the lab table. He gave me a look of disgust, but I didn't take the gesture as personal. That was the way he and his brothers saw the rest of us, O mortals, unworthy of talking with them. At least I could always rely on his lack of interest for my life.

Or so I thought, until, in a fit, he threw all of his belongings in his backpack and left the classroom without asking Mr. Molina for permission.

The video provided me of an undesired popularity. Shortly after Cullen's rebuff, Principal Jenkins sent someone asking for me. He lectured me during a very long time, in which I tried, unsuccessfully, to sink into the chair located in front of him. His words were not surprising, most of them mere quotes of the Treaties of Tuscany, where the clauses of human-vampire harmonious coexistence for the rest of eternity were established. No segregation, no persecution, no humiliation. I guess it didn't matter I was being brutally humiliated at that moment.

I thought the worst was over when Principal Jenkins ran out of words, though his eyes fell heavily on mine. That much I could take, Charlie made it all the time. But the absence of noise around us was lasting longer than I could bear, which made me believe that something should be filling the silence. Was I articulating a pathetic excuse of an apology, when someone knocked on the door. Jenkins allowed access to the person, and then I found the most frightening sight in front of me.

Charlie stood in the office's doorway. He had never been in agreement with the whole vampire dealio, but it was more than clear for him that the right thing-rather, the legal thing-was to recognize them as part of our society, and his face reflected the disappointment that my erratic actions caused him.

I was speechless. What could I tell my father at that time? Once again I tried to be swallowed by the leather chair, but the damn thing seemed to strive so I was at the mercy of his anger.

"She won't spend the night in jail," said Charlie. I couldn't help feeling privileged by my position as Chief Swan's daughter, but my excitement vanished as soon as he went on. "Remember what happened with Whitlock?"

Principal Jenkins nodded, slightly pleased. "Community service did a lot for him. His perspective was completely different after that."

"And so will be Miss Swan's," Charlie guaranteed.

I did not like that he referred to me as if I were a complete stranger, although I know it was his attempt to be objective. And boy, he was being so objective, I thought later, when he obliged me to stand up and handcuffed my hands behind my back. I'd thought I wouldn't be under arrest, and the idea of having to cross the school escorted by my father, under the amusing sight of my fellow school mates, did not excite me at all. I was glued to my spot for a few moments, thinking of my misfortune, until Charlie yanked me and forced me to walk.

"Come on, Bella," he said, so quietly that, even for just a second, I allowed myself to think he was not upset. "I have to take you with Alice."


And so it ends the first part. I really hope to read some feedback! I'd love to know what you think about this.