Bad Mentors!

Yep, it's the Mentor's turn to get sprayed. No-one guessed it. XD I'm unpredictable, then!

Well, here's the final chapter of 'Bad Team!'. I hope I got the characters of the mentors down – none of them (even Batman) have really been there in the actual show that much, so I've been forced to rely on my fellow fanfiction writers to get the general gist of how they should behave. As you can figure, that's not a very reliable way. The only mentor I'm happy with is Flash, although I think Batman went okay. So, sorry about that.

On with the story!

(Almost forgot – I don't own YJ. Now it's on with the story.)

Robin fell upon the bench in exhaustion. "Is this necessary?" He gasped, gulping down water.

"Yes." Batman said coolly. "Up."

"Come on, Bruce." Dick complained, standing up. "I get less of a workout on actual missions."

"So you will be prepared for them."

"I haven't slept in two days. Come on, just let me go to bed, please." Robin pleaded.

"If you were to be captured or on a longer mission, do you believe that the fight would pause long enough for you to sleep?"

"If I were to get attacked tomorrow at school though I'd be practically useless fighting back." Robin volleyed back.

"Defeat three more robots and then you may go to bed." Bruce said calmly, spinning around and walking back to the Bat-Computer.

"Three? Come on Bruce, I'm exhausted. Please just let me go to sleep." Dick pleaded.

"Do you want me to move it up to four?"

"No, but…"

"Then begin training." Batman began typing on the computer.

Robin sent a glower at the back of his mentor's head.

Without thinking about it the Boy Wonder walked up to the Dark Knight. In a second he pulled his spray-bottle out. "Bad Mentor!" He snapped, spraying him.

Batman turned around in his chair, more confused than anything else. "…What?"

"Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor!" Robin snapped, spraying Batman again.

Bruce just sat there, stunned at first. "Dick, what?" He said finally.

"Bad Mentor!" Robin snapped, spraying him.

Batman stared for a second longer. "Go do your training exercise."

"Fine. Bad Mentor!" Robin snapped again, spraying him one last time before walking off to the training dojo.

Bruce just blinked and turned back to the computer.

How long has he been carrying a spray-bottle around with him? And for that matter – why?


"You didn't."

"I did." Robin told Wally casually, pulling a biscuit out of the container someone had put in the fridge.

M'gann cocked her head to the side, holding a book she was studying in front of her. "And what did he say?"

"He told me to do my training exercises."

"That's it?" Wally said incredulously.

Robin shrugged, playing with his sunglasses. "We were both tired and I think he was kinda in shock at first."

"You know, you're probably the only person on the entire planet who would dare do that." Artemis told him, looking down at her homework.

"Actually, the Joker would probably think it would be funny if it ever occurred to him." Robin shrugged nonchalantly. "He'd probably use acid or Joker Venom or something though."

"Let me rephrase that. You are probably the only marginally sane person on the entire planet who would dare spray Batman with water." She said, writing in the answer on her homework.

"Probably." The Dark Squire agreed. "Didn't even mean to do it. Blame it on lack of sleep and lots and lots of brain fog."

"And what did you say?" Conner asked. "Bad Mentor, was it?"


Artemis shrugged. "I would have loved to see his face. From a safe distance of course."

"Why don't you take a night off?" Ollie asked casually, tapping his 'niece' on the shoulder. "Go home, catch up on your homework and maybe even get a good night's sleep."

"I live in the bad part of Gotham. It's hard to sleep a full night." Artemis shrugged, shooting another three arrows in rapid succession. All of them hit into the bullseye.

"Then spend the night at the cave." Ollie suggested. "Anyway, no petty criminal should be able to give you nightmares."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Artemis asked her mentor, glancing up from the target range even as she sent another volley of arrows.

"No, I just think you could use a break from all this." Green Arrow shook his head.

"I'm fine." Another three arrows thudded into the target, taking with them the last of her quiver. Artemis walked down and began to pull each arrow out, sliding them back into her quiver.

"You sure?"

"Why do you want me gone, GA?" Artemis said without even looking at him. "Dinah coming over?"

"No, it's not that…"

Artemis sent a glower at him. "If you want me gone, fine. At least have the decency to say so."

"No, I don't, it's just that…"

Artemis had had enough. She reached for her quiver and reached for the little pocket sown onto the inside, pulling the spray-bottle out as she did so.

"What's that?"

"Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor!" Artemis sprayed the elder archer.

"What? Artemis, what the heck?" Green Arrow stepped back, crashed into a trolley and hit the ground. He raised a hand to defend himself while lying on his back.

"Bad Mentor!" Artemis sprayed him again. "At least be honest."


With a flick of her hair Artemis spun on her heel and walked out of the training gym, clicking buttons into the zeta-tube. She teleported away.

Ollie was still lying on the ground, frozen and confused. "Huh?"


"Really? Artemis did it too? Seriously?"

"Artemis did what?" Barry asked casually, glancing over at his wife.

Wally was on the phone with Robin. "I bet he was!"

Robin said something that the two adults couldn't quite make out.

"If I get a chance I will, but there isn't that much to do it for…" Wally said.

"I have no idea." Iris answered, shrugging.

The Flash's phone rang. He glanced at it.

"Kid, we've got a bank robbery."

"Oh, okay. Just a sec." The younger speedster said to his uncle. "Gotta go Rob. See ya tomorrow at the cave." He hung up, then sped off to get changed.

Milliseconds later Wally West had transformed into Kid Flash, Fastest Boy Alive. He and his uncle raced off, arriving at the bank in record time.

"So who are you, exactly?" Flash asked, leaning against a wall.

"Must be new." Kid Flash shrugged.

The thieves in question were three girls in their early twenties. One was dressed entirely in purple, one was in green and the other was light blue.

The girls jumped. Purple pulled out a gun (painted purple with sparkles glued on). "Stay back, heroes." She snapped, her voice shaking.

"Definitely amateurs." Flash said calmly.

"Look, Flash and Flash Boy, just stay back and we w-won't hurt you." Green stuttered, pulling a green gun out of her beehive.

"It's Kid Flash! Seriously!" Wally snapped.

"KF, do you want to handle this or should I?" Barry smirked.

"Sure." Wally said, still glowering at Green.

There was a blur of yellow and red and suddenly the three would-be-bank-robbers were tied up together, coloured guns at their feet.

"You know, sometimes it's nice just to have an easy one." Kid Flash commented lightly to his uncle. "One where we just can defeat them in seconds."

"Seconds can be pretty long for us, though." Barry pointed out, shrugging as the police loaded the thieves into the vans.

"Yeah, but still. It's nice."

"I know what you mean… why have you got the green gun?"


"Oh no you don't. There is no way I am letting you take home a gun. If you must have a souvenir, then pick something else." Flash folded his arms.

"Aaw." Wally slumped his shoulders but took the point.

He flashed forwards, and by the time he was back the man taking the other two guns for evidence was holding the third and Kid Flash was holding a purple glove.

"Hey! That's mine!" Purple shouted, looking at her bare hand in shock.


"Better." Flash agreed.

Flash zoomed off, and Kid Flash began to follow him.

But he didn't look where he was going. His feet tripped on the sidewalk and he stumbled at super-speed, crashing into the wall of the bank.

He fell backwards, leaving a little Kid-Flash shaped dent behind him in the brick.

Everyone stared at the junior hero lying on the ground as he moaned and sat up.

Flash was suddenly back again. "KF, why the… huh?"

"Hi." Wally mumbled. He held his nose, which was bleeding heavily. "I fink I broke by dose." He muttered.

"You ran into the wall?" Flash bent over, cracking up. "Seriously KF?"

"If's noth phunny." Kid Flash protested, blood covering his yellow gloves.

"Yes it is." Barry howled with laughter, doubled over and clutching his sides.

Around them the civilians were all looking confused as to how to act. A couple were moving back from Kid Flash's murderous expression.

"Bad Menfor!" He ran up and sprayed the Scarlet Speedster.

"Wha…?" Barry blinked, looking up from being doubled over, caught by surprise. "KF?"

"Bad Menfor! Bad Menfor!" Wally repeated, spraying him again while holding onto his face.

Now the civilians really didn't know what to do. So they did what anyone does when they see people doing something this weird and reached for their camera phones.

"Bad Menfor!"

"Seriously, stop it." Barry grabbed the spray bottle. "Okay, KF? Stop it."

Wally nodded and Barry let him go. "Bad Menfor." He said one last time, then zoomed off.

Flash glanced around at all the civilians staring in astonishment. "That was as surprising for me as it was for you." He told them, then vanished in a blur of red.


"Thank you for taking me here Uncle J'onn." M'gann said, smiling at her uncle.

Both Martians had shape shifted into human form and were currently in England. To be precise, they were in London, sight-seeing.

J'onn had seen his niece was intrigued with the idea of London and was studying it independently, so as a surprise (which hadn't been easy to keep, seeing as they were both mind-readers) he had taken her there.

"Not a problem, Megan." J'onn smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder. "How about we go up and see the inside of Big Ben?"

"Big Ben? Oh, Hello Megan", She hit her head, "That's the big clock, right?"


"Then I'd love to go inside Big Ben!"

A few minutes later the two Martians had discovered that regular tourists weren't allowed up to the higher parts of Big Ben as it was a part of Parliament. So they flew up in camouflage mode, using J'onn's ability to phase through matter.

"Oh, wow!" Any doubts M'gann had had about technically breaking the law were diminished by the view as they hovered around the ceiling.

"Careful. Don't get too close to the edge." J'onn warned.

M'gann might have been hanging around Artemis too much, because she had to bite back any sarcasm springing to her lips. "Uncle J'onn, I can fly." M'gann tried to sound as respectful as she could as she smiled at him. "I'm sure that I'll be fine."

"You don't want to be seen, though."

"I can also camouflage myself." M'gann pointed out.

"Yes, but still…"

M'gann rolled her eyes but stepped backwards from the edge. Hey, if it made her uncle happy…

By the end of the day, her patience was being tested though.

J'onn had made her check all her food to be sure it was safe, had pulled her out of the way of traffic three times, taken her away from the guards who she was trying to make talk, and insisted on accompanying her everywhere. He had even camouflaged himself and waited in the bathroom for her, though thankfully not in the cubicle.

It wasn't until he said that the London Eye was too 'dangerous' that she snapped.

"Uncle J'onn, has something happened recently?" M'gann asked him, folding her arms.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, this is getting ridiculous. It's nice and all, but you're being really overprotective."

"I just want you to be safe…"

I can fly. M'gann told him telepathically, raising an eyebrow (something she had learned from her friends). Even if the London Eye did crash, than I'm sure I would be safe.

J'onn sighed. "Excellent point…"

"Uncle J'onn, what is it?"

The elder Martian sighed. A few days ago, there was a children's hospital explosion. I could see… there was…

M'gann winced as she saw blurred memories of bodies. I see. She said softly.

And so… I was worried for you…

"I understand, Uncle J'onn." M'gann said, placing a hand on his arm. "But I'm not helpless. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Megan."

M'gann grinned at him impishly. "Can I go on the London Eye now, Uncle John?"



"No. You have to-"

M'gann rolled her eyes and reached for her sprayer. "Bad Mentor!" She sprayed him.

J'onn took a step back. "M'gann…"

"Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor! Bad Mentor!" M'gann said firmly, spraying her uncle. "Don't be so overprotective. Bad Mentor!"

J'onn stared in amazement, then pushed the spray bottle away. "M'gann…" He said slowly. "What was that?"

"It was to see if I could get you to realise that I am not helpless." M'gann gave a wry smile. "Bad Mentor!"

J'onn was staring at her for a full three seconds, and then he chuckled. "I presume this is something you picked up from your team?"

"Yes…" M'gann said sheepishly, sliding her spray-bottle back into a pocket.

Her uncle smiled. "Okay. I admit that I was overreacting. I just don't want to lose you."

"I get it. Can I go on the London Eye?"


"Bad Mentor!"

"Okay, okay." J'onn laughed. "You can go on the London Eye."

"Yay!" M'gann hugged him, then dragged him into the line.


"My king, it might be… better if we do not stay here." Kaldur said respectfully.

Aquaman looked at him as the two Atlanteans kept themselves afloat underwater. "Okay. What do you propose we do, Kaldur'ahm?"

"Talk to them?" Kaldur suggested, looking above the water.

The paparazzi were walking around, holding cameras and talking to each other. They were waiting for the two Atlanteans to come out.

"We cannot accomplish anything waiting here." Kaldur continued. "The league would definitely not be impressed if we were to hurt civilians, and my friends on the team have told me that the 'press' can wait a very long time. There is no exit from here, so our only option would be to talk to them."

"Yes, but…" Aquaman hesitated, looking up.

The Atlanteans had both leaped into the water before realising that the lake was actually rather small and did not connect to the ocean. It was also hemmed in by trees very thickly – the only way out was where the press were waiting.

"Tell me, my king, what is it about this plan that you dislike?"

"I don't like the press." Aquaman protested.

"Neither do I, however it appears to be an unavoidable fact that we have to see them. Robin said that even Batman has had to deal with them on occasion."

"Wait, really?"

Aqualad shrugged. "Well, they've landed near the reporters, who have then caught photos and asked questions that for the large part both Batman and Robin ignore."

"Okay then. But…"

"My king, would you like me to go on ahead myself and tell the press that you are… indisposed? Perhaps I could tell them you are injured…"

"Yes, please do." Orin nodded.

Aqualad tried hard not to roll his eyes. "Okay then, my king." He began to swim upwards.

Hydrokinetically, he sent a splash of water towards the Atlantean king. "Bad Mentor." He muttered softly.

"What was that, Kaldur'ahm?" Aquaman asked, not noticing the spray of water.

"I did not say anything, my king." Aqualad answered, stepping out of the water.


Cameras flashed and hit him. The Atlantean automatically took a step backwards and tried not to flinch. "Yes?"

A barrage of questions hit him.

"Where is your mentor?"

"You have a form of super-strength, is that correct?"

"What do you have to say about the rumours that the Atlantean's ability to talk to fish takes away their free will and basically forces them to do your bidding?"

"Is it true that you and Green Arrow's protégé Artemis are dating?"

"One at a time, please!" Kaldur shouted. The reporters stilled. "My king is currently… unavailable. Atlantean strength is above human strength. Talking to fish does not necessarily mean they have to do what we ask, they just understand what we are asking. And lastly, Artemis and I are certainly not dating."

"But what of the reports that the two of you were together on a date at a carnival?"

In reality, they had all been there. They'd split into groups of two, and Artemis and Kaldur had been together. They'd had the bad luck to get photographed while surveying the corrupt businessman.

"Completely unfounded."

"And what about…"

"What do you have to say on…"

"There are rumours of…"

Aqualad paused, spun on his heel and jumped back into the water. "I apologise, my king. You were correct – staying here is probably the best course of action." He told Aquaman.

Orin nodded. "Can you call Miss Martian and ask her to pick us up in the bio-ship?"

Kaldur nodded. "Okay." He pressed a button on his comm. unit. "M'gann? It's Kaldur. Can I ask for a favour?"

Two hours later the bio-ship soared underwater. The camouflage turned off as the door opened. Both Atlanteans swam in quickly.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem." M'gann said, turning the camouflage back on again as they floated up. "Umm, you do know that you're on the news, right?"

"Yes." Kaldur sighed. "The press are surprisingly…" He searched for a word. "Scary."


"You need to talk to him." Black Canary folded her arms as she looked at the Man of Steel.

"Talk to who?"

"You know very well who. Conner just wants you to pay attention to him. He's a capable young man and he doesn't need you around all the time. But he does need you to see him once or twice, and he does need you to see him as a person."

Superman winced. "I… I do see him as…"

"Then let him know that."

"I… I don't know how… I can't…"

"You can, and you will."

"Look, I know I need to, but… I'll… I can't just… I don't…"

Dinah had had enough.

Reaching into her boot, she pulled out the object that had been uncomfortably pressing against her foot for the past hour.

"Bad Mentor." She said coolly, spraying the Man of Steel in the face.

Superman stared at her in shock. "What?"

"You are officially a terrible father to Conner, and an even worse mentor."

"I'm not his fath-"

"You're closer to it than anyone else is. And you're both a terrible father and an even worse mentor. Bad Mentor." She sprayed him again.

"I don't… Dinah, what the heck?" The Man of Steel stepped back from her. "What's gotten into you?"

"Obviously traditional methods of making you wake up to Superboy aren't working. So, I figured I'd take a leaf from the kids' book." Black Canary shrugged, and then sprayed him one last time. "Bad Mentor."

Then the blonde heroine smirked and walked away.

Superman stared after her and shook his head in confusion. He slowly turned around and walked the opposite way.

"Oh, Batman." Dinah stopped as she saw the Dark Knight working on a computer in the Monitor Womb.

Batman glanced up from his work. "Black Canary."

"Could you return this to Robin? I borrowed it from him." She handed him the spray-bottle.

"Uh, sure." Batman took it and placed it on the ground next to him, turning back to his work.

"Thanks." Dinah nodded, and then left.

Batman generally knew a lot of things about his team-mates, and he liked it that way. On this occasion, however, he figured that for once he didn't want to know. Ignorance is bliss after all.


"Um, Wally, you didn't happen to do 'Bad Mentor' to Flash, did you?" M'gann asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Wally asked, eating a spoonful of ice-cream.

"You might want to see this, then."

Wally was next to her in a blur. "See wh – huh?"

On the news, there was a film of him, blood pouring from his nose. "Bad Menfor! Bad Menfor!" On-screen-Kid Flash snapped, spraying the Flash. Flash reached forwards and caught the spray-bottle.

"This is going to be fun to try and explain…" Robin smirked, looking over at his best friend.

Artemis walked in, pulling her hair out of her face. "Hey guys, guess what." She grinned.

"What?" M'gann looked up from the T.V.

"Superman's teaching Conner how to turn his super-hearing on and off."

"What?" Robin spun around so fast his neck cracked. "Ow." He winced. "But seriously, he's finally helping Conner?"

"I know!" Artemis grinned. "It's beyond time."

"Definitely." Wally agreed, muting the television.

"It is good of Superman to accept some responsibility." Kaldur nodded agreement.

"I wonder what happened to change his mind?" M'gann asked.

"That might have been the thing with Black Canary…" Robin mused.

"What 'thing'?" Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"Well, a few days ago she asked me about what the whole spraying thing was, and so I answered and I ended up telling her about when I sprayed Batman… and then she asked to borrow my spray so she could try and get some sense into Superman."

Wally smirked. "Awesome."

"Definitely." Robin agreed. "By the way, M'gann, have you sprayed J'onn yet?"

"Yes." M'gann gave an almost guilty smile. "He was being a little overprotective, so I…" She shrugged. "In fairness, Uncle J'onn was good about it."

"What about you, Kaldur?" Artemis asked, putting ice-cream into a bowl.

"Hey, that's mine!" Wally protested.

"Deal with it, Baywatch." Artemis said with a smirk.

"Technically, I suppose I did…" Kaldur said after a second. "But we were both still underwater, I didn't use the spray-bottle and my king did not notice. And he was in the right on this particular instance on what should be the best course of action."

"Still counts." Robin shrugged. "Barely, but it's the most you're gonna do."

"You know, it's amazing what you can do with a little spray bottle." Wally mused, taking a bite of his ice-cream while looking at his spray bottle. "I mean, we managed to fix all sorts of things."

"Reckon it would work on a villain?" Conner asked, thinking aloud.

The entire team went still and looked at each other.

The bioship landed in the cave and the team crawled out, battered and bleeding. Kaldur was almost unconscious and all but being carried by Conner.

Batman and Flash had been waiting for them. Without hesitation they moved forwards to help. "What happened?" Bruce demanded.

Wally gave a bloody smile, trying to support a limping Artemis. "Turns out that spray bottles can only do so much." He admitted through a mouthful of blood.

Robin and M'gann moved out of the ship last, supporting each other. "Hey…" Robin said weakly, one arm seeping red and hanging limply.

"Let's get you all to the med-ward." Bruce said, catching his adoptive son before he collapsed.


About half an hour later the teens were in the med-ward. Kaldur had woken up and was helping bandage Robin's arm. Conner was dabbing at the blood on M'gann's forehead. Artemis's leg was supported on pillows and right now she was looking for the cause of blood in Wally's mouth.

"What happened?" Batman asked, looking over the team.

"Uh…" Robin said guiltily. "Remember that whole thing with the spray bottles?"

"Yes…" Flash said slowly.

"Well, it turns out that supervillains don't appreciate being sprayed and told that they were 'Bad Bad-Guys'."

"You… tried that on villains?" The Flash repeated, eyes widening.

"Hey, it might have worked!" Artemis protested, looking up from Wally's mouth.

"No, it couldn't have." Batman sent a glower at the team.

"What were you thinking?" Flash demanded, folding his arms.

"Uh… that it worked on us?" Robin winced as Kaldur let go of his arm. "We figured what was the worst that could happen?"

The two adults sent glowers that made the team cringe. "I believe you have understood by now exactly what the worse was that could happen." Batman growled.

"Yes, Batman." Robin agreed, nodding. "We totally understand."

"Don't worry. We're not doing that again." Wally said, wiping blood from his mouth with a tissue.

"The villains shattered the spray-bottles." Conner added.

Flash glanced at Batman. "Is it wrong if I'm relieved about that?"


"Just checking."

So, it's finally done! Hope it lived up to your expectations!

And just cause I've rated it as 'complete' doesn't mean you don't need to keep reviewing! Reviews are awesome!