Breakfast at Wayne Manor
A/N: One shot, post-reboot. This is my first attempt at any comic fic, and it just came to me in all its crazy confusingness. All mistakes are mine, I don't own anything, yadda yadda yadda. Enjoy!
Bruce Wayne, Gotham's playboy billionaire, stood gaping at the sight in front of him: all five of his children were working together in the kitchen, making breakfast. While it was not unheard of for any of the children to make their own breakfast, or, in Dick's case, Damian's as well, while Alfred was out of town, it was rare that all five were there at once, and even rarer still that they would be working together.
"Little D, get the toast," Dick called to his littlest brother from the stove where he appeared to be making pancakes.
The youngest of the Wayne brood grumbled something that sounded along the lines of one of the recently forbidden expletives and Cassie made sure to call her baby brother on it.
"Five dollars," she said, holding the newly christened "Swear Jar" out in front of the boy.
Jason chuckled from the French toast he had be placed in charge of as the littlest of them grudgingly placed three dollars in the mason jar, mumbling that he'd put the rest in later. Cassie replaced the jar in its spot on the counter, next to the elephant cookie jar that Dick had given to Alfred for Father's Day one year, before returning to the fruit salad that she had been preparing.
"Excuse me, lover," Selina said to Bruce as she walked around the normally stoic Dark Knight with some of Alfred's more colorful summer linens in her hand. Walking towards the kitchen's adjacent patio, she called back to him, "Get the dishes please" before disappearing behind the curtain that waved in the breeze from the glass door.
Dumbfounded, Bruce did as the cat burglar asked, taking the breakfast dishes from their proper place in the cabinet and placing them on a tray before picking it up and following the brunette out the door.
"What's going on?" he asked as he placed the tray on the patio dining table.
"The kids decided that they wanted to make breakfast and it's nice out, so we're eating out here."
"No, but, what-?" he gestured back to the kitchen where the sounds of Damian and Tim, who had been placed in charge of the drinks for this morning's meal, arguing floated out to the oldest of the adults.
"You mean, what are your kind and genteel children doing at home, at the same time, while you're home?" Bruce nodded, speechless, while Selina continued. "It seems there's this drug cartel the Outlaws are tracking, who met up with the dealers that Nightwing and the Robins were tracking, and Dick decided that it would be best if all involved stayed in one place. But since you don't like the superpowered heroes in your city, Kori and Roy went to visit the Birds and see what intel Barbara could get them."
Bruce just nodded slowly at her explanation. Tim was taking a much-needed break to recover from wounds that he had received while patrolling with the Titans, while Cassie, he knew, had returned from Hong Kong the previous afternoon, and Dick had suggested the day before that they both stay at the Manor and patrol together that night while Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, Gotham's current golden couple, attended a Wayne Foundation benefit that called for its chief benefactor to be present for the entire event.
Before Bruce could ask anything more, Titus, Damian's Great Dane, came bounding over to the couple with a dead ball clutched in his mouth. Selina laughed softly and picked up the ball that he had dropped at her feet before throwing it back for the dog to fetch again.
Turning back to Bruce, she assured him, "Don't think anything of it other than that your kids are all under the same roof and aren't trying to kill each other for once."
A crash sounded from the open door, with the cry of "Drake, you idiot, what the hell were you thinking?"
"Spoke too soon," Selina muttered as the two parental figures hurried to see what had broken and if they would need to act as referees, or worse.
Coming upon the scene, they discovered that the crash had been the Swearing Jar and that its contents were now scattered under the kitchen table. Jason was laughing between his younger brothers while Dick picked up the larger pieces of glass and Cassie used a broom and dust pan to pick up the smaller shards. Tim and Damian were glaring at one another over the mess and Jason.
Sighing, Bruce entered the fray and tried to mediate the argument while Selina kept Titus from entering the kitchen by throwing the ball once more, the dog galloping away to find his prize.
So much for a quiet breakfast.