Warning: Language. Alternate Universe. Cheesy humor. Mentions of Sex.
Pairings: Suzaku x Lelouch. All others that occur are either not important or short-lived.
Quick Note: This chapter is unedited!
VII: Who Are Becoming More
"Did anything happen between the two of you during the holiday?"
Cold amethyst eyes stared into a mirroring gaze. "Why is it that you're asking me this and does Suzaku know?" Lelouch really didn't have time for the petty insecurities of Suzaku's boyfriend yet here he sat, cornered in the library, his favorite novel nearly forgotten.
"He's irrelevant at the moment. I'm not having this conversation with him, I'm having it with you."
Lelouch took a moment to close his book and massage the bridge of his nose. They hadn't been back at the academy for a full week and Rolo was already annoying him. But Rolo was only one of many problems in his life at the moment. It'd be best if he quickly dealt with it and moved on accordingly or the boy would never let the issue go, at least where he was concerned.
"Fine. Let's talk this through but know that this will be the first, last, and only time that I deign to waste on account of you and your insecurities."
Rolo took a seat across from Lelouch, a frown marring his face. "Are you fucking Suzaku?" Blunt and straight to the point…
"Have you done other things with him?"
"No." Because Lelouch didn't count their accidental kiss as being anything more than that, an accident… or at least he tried not to.
Amethyst irises narrowed. "Does he want to?"
The prince scoffed. "No."
A dark brow quirked curiously as Lelouch stared at Rolo. Did he want to? That was a question he'd been wrestling with since the holiday (and their joke of a smooch) but Rolo didn't need to know that. Nor did Suzaku, who he'd been attempting to avoid alone time with as much as possible until he figured such a thing out for himself. "No."
"How do I know that you're not lying to me?"
Lelouch smirked at this as he leaned on the table, his head resting in his palm. "The same way that I know you're not screwing around behind Suzaku's back much as you did when you were coupled with Austin Cavalier or Gregory Vincent or even Michael Winston and really, I could go on."
Yes, he knew all about Rolo's dating history.
After he'd initially found out from Suzaku that they were all, essentially, played for fools by the little runt, Lelouch had decided that it was in his best interest to see what type of person his best friend had attached himself to. There was far more than met the eye when it came to Rolo and had they met under different circumstances, Lelouch was sure that they could have been friends of sorts. But they hadn't and thus Rolo meant absolutely nothing to him and was expendable. More so because he knew that Suzaku could do so much better.
Rolo's widened gaze thinned considerable as he regained his footing. "You must have a lot of time on your hands if you can dig up such ancient history." And then he smiled. "Or maybe you're jealous."
A humored laugh followed such a statement and once he calmed down, Lelouch studied Rolo's face. "Jealous? Of you? Let me assure you of one thing: I will never be jealous of someone like you." Though he was smiling, his tone was scathing. "I have and can have far more than you can even fathom with that tiny mind of yours. If at any time you ever have anything that I might just so want for myself, I can surely take it from you." And he wouldn't have to do much to fulfill that meager threat.
Even though Rolo had never seen this side of Lelouch, a side that was rather frightening considering the boy's gorgeously cruel smile and venomous gaze, he could remain relatively calm. He did have something that Lelouch didn't have and he knew without a doubt that he could keep it. "You say that with such confidence but let me tell you something: the only way you'll end up with Suzaku is if I let him go." He laughed at Lelouch's wavering expression before standing up and leaving the library.
He'd accomplished what he'd set out to do.
"Little bastard…" The mood to read was completely ruined and Lelouch couldn't find the energy to renew it. He buried his face in his arms and resisted the very childish urge to scream.
Suzaku, Suzaku, Suzaku… the name was rolling around in his mind on loop and it had been since the day their lips touched. Even the memory made his lips tingle. And Lelouch didn't understand it. Kisses were child's play and far paled in comparison to other things that he'd done. In retrospect, it hadn't been much a kiss to begin with (it held no real substance) and yet his mental cinema continued to play that particular scene on repeat as if it were an important or defining moment in his adolescent life.
Maybe it was…
It wasn't as though he were sexually stunted or prepubescent. He had his pick of women (and men if ever the need arose) in various classes, shapes, and forms. He had his harem (had utilized it quite a bit during the holiday). But one kiss –a mere touching of their lips was enough to slam his mind into a wall that it could overcome.
Lelouch was no stranger to desire.
He physically wanted Suzaku, his best friend, his comrade, his partner in crime, his other half… and it didn't make sense to him. After the years of jokes that flitted around about the essence of his and Suzaku's friendship, it seemed as though his body (at the very least) wanted to confirm the sexual aspect of those annoying taunts.
Their friendship had always been an odd one, this he knew. They were closer than normal male teenagers their age and they did things that normal teenage boys didn't regularly do, but Lelouch had always chalked it up to his being an eccentric prince that came from an eccentric family and Suzaku's being an only child with a heart of gold. Never would he have imagined that he'd be any type of attracted to the boy.
Yet he was.
And it was driving him mad.
Ever since he'd thought about the subject more thoroughly and he'd belatedly realized that he was sexually attracted to his lifelong friend it'd been harder to look, talk, or even pass by Suzaku without dirty thoughts of what if entering his mind. It was painful. Suzaku wasn't making things easier. Lelouch wasn't sure if it was due to the kiss or if his eyes had suddenly opened on account of the thoughts that followed but he'd become well aware of certain things. How much they touched, how they unintentionally tended to flirt with one another, or how they complemented each other in far too many ways for it to be simple coincidence.
Lelouch vaguely wondered if Suzaku noticed.
Or if his seemingly oblivious best friend was in the same state of peril as he.
Did Suzaku find him attractive? Had he ever?
Did he want to kiss him and see where else that would lead them?
Would such a thing ruin or strengthen their friendship?
Was Rolo a threat?
And was the boy right about Lelouch never having a chance?
Did Lelouch really want one?
Or did he just want to fuc-
"My god…" He muttered to himself as he ran a shaky hand through his thick hair.
His problem came in the form of questions and "what if" speculations that continuously circulated around his broad mind in rapid succession. Lelouch just wanted those queries and tangents to shut up. But the only way for that to happen would be to confront the source (i.e. Suzaku) and there was no way that he was going to do that. Not when he felt far too unresolved about his own opinions on the matter. He just needed some time to himself… away from Suzaku. If he didn't have to look or interact with the source of his problems then it would be far easier for him to sort himself out. When the time came for him to confront things, Lelouch would be ready.
Winter was a bitch.
It was cold, there was snow, snow was cold, and it tended to melt into clothes and make the wearers even colder than initially felt. Or numb. Which was exactly what Suzaku felt at the moment. But he welcomed the brief distraction from any actual pain that he could have felt were it not so bitterly frosty outside. His back was killing him, the right side of his face was pulsing, his hands had tiny annoying cuts on them, his jacket was pretty much a rag now, and he had on one shoe.
It all made him realize one thing: bigots were assholes.
It was easy to brush off the racism and the cruel jeers when he was around his friends or even alone for that matter. He could find solace in the fact that such a thing rarely ever resorted to forms of violence and that their ignorance significantly paled in comparison to the tolerance that he received regularly.
But on this night, they'd grown oddly bold and had cornered him after his regular late night swim. Being outnumbered five to one was really not a problem.
Suzaku could easily defend himself and he could have even maneuvered well enough to avoid the fight altogether, which he'd intended to do, but they were prepared for that. They had weapons. And that fucking metal pipe had got him right in the back…
Suzaku wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire ordeal but it would hurt and he was in no mood to bring himself more agony. Still… he was amused. They'd targeted him because he wasn't a Britannian and he tainted the school with his presence. They'd gone as far as to say that he had the masses brainwashed and with the closing of the swim season and the team's championship victory, he'd ingrained his taint in their school's history –no matter how minor. Honestly, people never had valid reasons for their prejudice.
To vent their frustrations about him being at their elite school, they'd sought to put him in his place in the form of a good ass kicking. But Suzaku too had some pent up frustrations that he had to vent and that was where the bulk of his problems arose. It was never a smart idea to fight on sheer emotion alone. Suzaku knew that he could've taken them all on and ended things relatively unscathed had his mind been entirely focused on the battle at hand.
But it wasn't.
Not in the least.
And he completely blamed Lelouch for his state of mental unrest.
Lelouch had avoided him like the plague for the last three weeks and it was weighing on him. If it were anyone else, Suzaku could have chalked it up to preparation for finals because people went into cram mode following the holiday but Lelouch wasn't one of those people. Ever. So he'd spent the last three weeks wondering and being bothered by the fact that his best friend was distancing himself from him and he felt helpless about it. He'd cornered the stubborn prince a few times but Lelouch was clever and flexible and always managed to evade him at the slightest fault in his concentration.
Suzaku frowned as he thought of why it was that his best friend chose to ignore him.
So they'd kissed during the break!
It was an awkward moment but that slight brush of their lips could barely even constitute as more than that. And they'd been placed in far more compromising situations that would warrant avoiding one another or acting awkward so really… Suzaku didn't understand. Then again, he had, perhaps, pushed Lelouch's buttons a bit over the course of their Thanksgiving break. He hadn't been able to help himself once he came to see how truly gorgeous Lelouch was when teased or in general really.
With the right touch or a carefully crafted sentence full of innuendo, his dear friend would redden before exploding with emotion. Aside from the teasing, however, Suzaku had noticed little things about the eleventh prince that made his shine superior to the sun's.
His unguarded smile was breathtaking.
His laugh was sensual.
His eyes were reminiscent of the gems he'd longed to capture when he was a child.
His hair matched the night sky.
His wisdom and intellect filled rooms.
His jokes were corny but endearing.
When he was mad it was cute.
When he was seething it was downright sexy.
And whenever Lelouch acknowledged him, it made Suzaku feel oddly complete. But that was nothing new, the feeling was simply stronger now that he'd recognized and came to terms with it.
Knowing all of that, Suzaku didn't think it too odd if he pushed the teasing a bit or if his touches lingered a little longer than usual or even if his lips lightly brushed Lelouch's ear on account of his whispering. Suzaku didn't consider it a bad thing to find his nearest and dearest friend attractive because it was an honest feeling. One that he hadn't intended to act on beyond his jaunts.
But then he'd had time to think. And that time had only served to point out that he was thoroughly attracted to his best friend.
Or perhaps enamored was the better term.
Lelouch had always been attractive, even Suzaku's child self had noticed such a thing (despite his thinking the prince was a princess). He simply hadn't thought more to Lelouch's beauty because (one) males weren't in his line of sight to claim as lovers until recently and (two) the serious possibility of having Lelouch beyond that of his best friend seemed so far out of reach.
Until that damned non-kiss.
A kiss that made Suzaku wonder what kind of expression the ever composed prince would have worn had they done more than the mere touching of their mouths. It was a kiss that his lips seemed to remember often, even now. And it was a kiss that had morphed his every innocent snapshot of a scantily clad Lelouch into wet-dream worthy material.
And dreams Suzaku did have.
He sighed, which drew out a staggering cough.
Again he blamed Lelouch.
Having such thoughts in his mind about his best friend… it was all so painful. He didn't understand where or when his admiration and platonic love for Lelouch had morphed into something more. Not only that, the one person that Suzaku could talk to about the potentials of such feelings had left him to himself for far too long and without explanation. And he was going through the pain of confusion alone and it just wasn't fair. Especially when Lelouch was usually the one who helped him to sort out such complex thoughts but he couldn't even call upon the prince to do that.
Suzaku wouldn't allow Lelouch to evade him anymore.
He was an injured man after all and the only place that he could go or would even think to go in his current state was to Lelouch's on-campus home. Suzaku's pride as a man wouldn't permit for anyone else to see him so beat down but it was comfortable enough to make room for Lelouch to see him as he was. They'd seen each other in worse conditions. Suzaku smiled fondly as he realized that he couldn't even imagine going to someone else. Not Gino, not Rolo, not Kallen… regretfully, no one but Lelouch would be able to mend his wounds and tend to his mental turmoil. Plus, it was fucking freezing and the Lamperouge home was the closest one to him.
Suzaku pulled out his battered cellphone and hit speed-dial number three, very curious to see if Lelouch would actually answer. The prince was doing a swell job of 'missing' his calls as of late.
"Zaku… it's late…"
He thanked the heavens for a sleepy Lelouch. "I know but I really need you to let me in."
"Let you in? Huh?" He could imagine Lelouch now wiping at his eyes and attempting to mentally collect himself.
The image was a cute one.
"I- I got into a bit of a fight and-"
"What?" No doubt, Lelouch was fully awake now. "Where are you?"
Suzaku sighed before a soft smile tugged at his lips. "On your front step but I don't have my key and-"
"I'm coming." The line went dead and no more than a minute later the door opened to reveal a bed frazzled Lelouch. "Fuck… look at you." He pulled Suzaku into the house and quickly closed the door behind them. He shivered as winters lingering chill wrapped around them but it was easy to ignore considering what stood before him.
Suzaku looked as though he'd been mugged.
Suzaku was torn between laughing at Lelouch's choice in words (it wasn't everyday that such crude language passed through those rosy lips) and hugging the prince on account of the concerned expression contorting his handsome face. "I don't look that bad." At least, he didn't feel like he looked that bad.
"You… how can you-" Lelouch frowned and took a deep breath. He didn't want to wake the house or cause a panic. He didn't want to panic. "Can you make it to my room on your own?"
Emerald irises gleamed with amusement. "I made it here on my own."
Lelouch wanted so badly to reply derisively but he would save it for later. "Fine. Meet me in my room and I'll return with supplies to fix you up."
"Alright." Suzaku smiled to himself as he moved past Lelouch.
"If you held still-"
"I imagine it does. What did you say happened again?"
Suzaku frowned. "I didn't really." Because he was still attempting to figure out an easy way to tell Lelouch that he'd been ambushed. His mind was also working out a way to calm Lelouch once he did reveal such information because, without a doubt, the prince would be out for blood.
"I see." Lelouch nodded absently before he paused in wrapping the bandage around Suzaku's bruised wrist. "Now's a better time than any to tell me."
It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a suggestion, it was a command. Suzaku knew this but… "Lu… my side." He mustered his most miserable groan. When Lelouch began to frantically peel off his shirt, Suzaku knew he'd succeeded in distracting him. It was awful to play the pity card but he didn't want to start anything, not when he'd made off better than they did.
Once Suzaku's shirt was removed, Lelouch took a moment to carefully observe the purpling tan flesh of his friends back and right side. He tentatively pressed his fingers to a particularly gruesome spot, his hand jerking back only when Suzaku hissed in pain. Amethyst irises darkened angrily. Lelouch wanted to know who had dared to lay their hands on Suzaku in such a fashion because he'd be sure to do everything in his power to make them suffer for it.
Whether Suzaku wanted him to or not.
Knowing Suzaku, he'd have to investigate the matter himself in order to find out anything meaningful. But that would only serve to make things worse. For all the time that it would take him to discover who it was that had harmed his best friend, his glorious mind would be working furiously to supply a proper punishment. The longer it took, the worse the punishment would be.
And as he patched Suzaku's wounds, his ire grew. He'd seen Suzaku fight on numerous occasions, whether it were for sport at the Kururugi dojo, at the palace for an event, or in the rare instances in which he'd had to defend himself. In all of those occasions, Suzaku was flawless and could leave a skirmish nearly unscathed. Lelouch never truly had to worry about the brunet (though he did so anyway). From the looks of things, Suzaku had either been outnumbered, surprised, or both.
Or maybe the bastards had used weapons…
Lelouch needed to know what happened.
With a sigh, he opened the medicinal ointment meant to aid in healing bruises before he cautiously began to rub it over the sickly coloring flesh of Suzaku's broad back. "Tell me what happened and you don't have to say names." For now. He would find out for himself come morning.
Suzaku shuddered. Between the cool ointment and Lelouch's warm fingers pushing softly against his aching back and side, it was hard to concentrate on much else. It was almost hypnotizing, the methodical rhythm that Lelouch had taken to using as he concentrated on kneading firm muscle so that it would properly absorb the salve. Suzaku's entire body was completely at Lelouch's mercy and he highly doubted that his friend knew it.
"I'd just walked out of the locker room and there were five guys waiting for me. They had some kind of…" Suzaku's thoughts faltered a bit as nimble fingers pushed against a particularly tender area. He bit back a moan and let his head fall forward.
Crimson colored Lelouch's ivory cheeks as he listened and watched Suzaku. "Sorry." He wasn't sure why he was apologizing but it was the first thing that came to mind.
Suzaku smiled. "No, you're doing great. Thank you." He sat up straight when he felt Lelouch begin to wrap the bandages around his torso. "Anyway, one of those assholes had a pipe or something and I was already frustrated about other things so this is what ended up happening. But, trust me, they look worse than I do." Well, three out of five of them did. There was only so much holding back that he could do before he'd snapped a bit.
It could have been worse.
Lelouch smiled to himself as he moved to kneel in front of Suzaku. "That still doesn't justify their cornering you in attempts to perpetuate their hate crimes." He tugged tightly on the bandage before securing it and pinning it down.
"Well… it was an annoying encounter but I can see a brighter side to all of this." A sly smirk pulled at Suzaku's lips.
Orchid eyes narrowed. "A brighter side?" Really, sometimes Lelouch didn't understand the boy in front of him.
With his bandaged hands, Suzaku grabbed Lelouch's wrists to make sure that the prince wouldn't attempt to flee. "You've been avoiding me, Lu."
Lelouch frowned at the accusation. "No I've been-"
"You're lying." Suzaku's lips quirked into a soft smile. "You've been avoiding me and I don't know why but I don't like it."
The frown on the prince's face deepened when he experimentally attempted to yank his wrists free but to no avail. "I'm sorry if it's seemed like I've been evasive as of late but I haven't. I've been busy. Now let me-"
"Not until you tell me the truth."
Suzaku shook his head, his emerald irises glowing in slight amusement. "When you lie, your left eye twitches slightly and you bite the inside of your cheek. Both of which you're doing now. Everyone else might buy that shit about you being busy and studying but I don't. I'm not everyone else and I know you better than all of them. You're avoiding me and I just want to know why." He easily tugged Lelouch closer. "Was it Rolo? Or did you decide that you're not comfortable with my sexual orientation? Or is it me? Are you not comfortable with who I-"
"Never." Lelouch's eyes were wide as he listened to Suzaku. Yes, he was avoiding Suzaku but it had nothing to do with any of that and he didn't- "You're not the reason I've been avoiding you alright. It's me. I needed some space to think some things over and I'm not proud of that but I didn't want to say anything to you or anyone until I figured it out for myself. Plus, I fully intended to speak with you during the Christmas party..." He cursed Suzaku for making him admit such a thing by hitting his weakness. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Lelouch despised it when Suzaku talked down about himself in anyway. More so when he was personally the cause of it.
A brown brow raised, "The Christmas party?" Four days from now and nearly month later was when Lelouch had planned to speak with him again... that was so like the prince. "Have you figured out anything so far?" Curious jade eyes watched Lelouch as his face softened and his cheeks took on a scarlet hue.
Lelouch opened and closed his mouth several times before he settled on the proper response. "I've figured out that being away from everyone to solve my problems works about as well as being with everyone."
Suzaku laughed at that before staring up into stubborn amethyst hued irises. "Hmm… then that means there's still a problem. So what is it?"
Lelouch frowned. Were he not constrained at the moment, he would have quite literally walked away from their current conversation but Suzaku had a nice grip on his wrists… "It's not important."
It was Suzaku's turn to frown. "It's important enough to keep you away from me for little over three weeks. So tell me. Maybe I can help."
"But you can't and were you capable of doing so, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Now unhand me and go to bed in the guest room." Lelouch tugged at his wrist and nearly growled when Suzaku simply pulled him closer as opposed to releasing him. He didn't want to hurt someone who was already injured but he would if it came down to it. "Seriously Suzaku-"
"No." Green eyes were hard and rimmed with defiance as Suzaku firmly held onto lithe wrist. Lelouch stood angrily between his parted legs and they were so close that Suzaku could feel the heat radiating from the prince's body. He could also smell a scent so very unique to Lelouch and it was intoxicating. "We've never had any secrets between us before and I don't see why we'd start that now. So what is it? Do you want me to guess?"
A scowl contorted Lelouch's face gorgeously as his gaze narrowed. "It's after midnight and I am in no mood for your games. You're in no condition to currently be playing these games with me, so do us both a favor and lets just-"
"Is it a family issue?"
"I want to go to bed."
Suzaku nodded. "Not a family issue then. Does it have something to do with university choices for next year?"
"I'm getting really pissed off."
Suzaku didn't doubt that but he really didn't care. "Wrong again huh… Are you seeing someone that you don't think I'd like?"
Lelouch paused for the slightest second but it was a second too long.
"You're seeing someone?" And Suzaku wasn't sure why but his heart sank at such an admission.
"No. I'm not seeing anyone least of all someone that you would never approve of, that I can swear to you. Now release me." Lelouch's blood rushed at the relieved look on Suzaku's handsome face and he felt his face flush.
This wasn't good.
He'd figured out what his problem was and it was now holding him captive but how could he tell Suzaku that he liked him beyond that of friendship? How could he tell his best friend that he yearned for him in a way that could potentially ruin everything they'd built? Lelouch had resolved himself to simply tuck such irrelevant feelings away because they were not worth anything if it meant sacrificing what he currently had.
This was what he hated so about all emotions ensnared in the trap that was falling in love and being enamored with another person.
They were so uncertain and such territory was terrifying to tread upon.
Most of all when they had to do with someone like Suzaku.
Someone who, if it all went wrong, he could never return things to the way they once were. They would never be able to go back to being just friends if they explored the foreign territory of being romantically involved.
And Lelouch couldn't have that because Suzaku meant just that much to him.
"Then you're interested in someone and it must be someone that we know…" At that, the prince's eyes widened and he stilled. Suzaku knew that he wasn't wrong and he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue with this line of questioning. But he was human and he was curious and he wanted to know why his best friend wanted to keep secrets.
And he wanted to know who the person was that was invoking such alien behavior in his best friend.
Suzaku's heart felt heavy.
"Drop it Suzaku." Lelouch was frantically attempting to pull himself away. He felt trapped. He felt cornered. He was angry for so easily giving himself away but it was hard to keep up his usual composure at this particular point in time.
That was the main reason why he'd taken a brief leave of absence from socializing. He'd needed that time away to practice being himself and nothing more than that because he couldn't very well act as though his feelings hadn't shifted. Not so soon. Lelouch needed time to adjust and had Suzaku just given him that then really, they wouldn't be where they currently were. It would have been far easier for him to brush Suzaku off and give a grand excuse for his behavior.
And they would've moved on.
"Is it Shirley?" Suzaku's grip on Lelouch's frail wrists was nearly bruising and though he didn't want to hurt Lelouch ever, he couldn't let him escape.
Not until he knew who it was that Lelouch was abandoning him for.
God, his heart hurt.
"No, no one."
"It's someone. Cee-Cee?"
Lelouch's heated gaze met emerald irises. He was at his wits end and nothing he was saying was deterring Suzaku from his onslaught of questions and accusations and- "It's you. It's you who I think about constantly as of late and you who's driving me mad with these thoughts and feelings that won't leave me alone. But I know. I already know that our friendship is worth far more than testing the shallow waters of a relationship so really-"
"Had you told me this from the beginning, we could've settled things right away because," Suzaku pulled at Lelouch until they were merely an inch apart. "I've been having the same problem." With that, he closed the distance between them.
Lelouch was completely still.
He was being kissed… by his best friend.
Kissed by his best friend.
It was soft and light, just a brush of lips, but it felt like so much more.
Lelouch's violet eyes slipped shut as an attentive mouth pressed closer to his and soon there was the caress of something rough and wet sliding across his lips. His body temperature skyrocketed as he cautiously parted his lips because this was new to him. All of it was new and equally as frightening considering he was standing at the edge of his bed kissing his best friend. Lelouch felt like he was being devoured as Suzaku expertly explored his warm mouth, their tongues and teeth in a heated clash as the previous conversation was very nearly forgotten.
Suzaku let go of thin wrist to grip slender hips as he pulled Lelouch down for better access. He relished in the feeling of hands smaller than his tangling in his hair to deepen the kiss and doing a fine job of it. How many nights had he dreamed about claiming Lelouch's mouth or doing far more than that? But to actually have the real thing surpassed every thought he'd ever held on the matter. Suzaku slid his hands up Lelouch's nightshirt, his fingers ghosting over silken skin before settling on the small of Lelouch's back. His mind was a whirlwind as he focused on tracing every contour of the pliant mouth beneath his command. It was hypnotizing and mind numbing to be tasting Lelouch in a way he'd never thought possible.
But what truly had his blood rapidly pulsing through his veins and moving southbound was Lelouch who was eagerly responding in turn and making small noises… Suzaku had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Lelouch at that very moment.
And they were only kissing.
But he wanted to do so much more- was prepared for it even.
Lelouch groaned low in his throat when Suzaku's mouth detached from his and began moving down his jaw, his throat… "Zaku… wait…" He didn't want to stop.
Not in the least bit.
But they had to.
This, all of it, wasn't natural to some degree and they had to be rational. Rational. Lelouch's mind was screaming for him to take logic into consideration whilst his body urged him to do the complete opposite. It was a tough battle.
Suzaku paused in his ministrations, his clouded gaze focused on the prince that he held in his arms. It was taking every ounce of control that he had but, because it was Lelouch who'd asked him to, he'd restrain himself. "What's wrong?" His voice was husky with arousal and just staring at Lelouch's flushed state set his nerves in a frenzy.
Lelouch shuddered and gripped strong shoulders beneath his hands. "We're best friends Suzaku… and this- it could all simply be the result of adrenaline." Dear god did he not want that to be the case but it was very probable.
They were worked up with emotion.
And they'd let that emotion conflict with logic, which could have led to where they were at current.
But Lelouch so hoped that that wasn't the case.
"S'not adrenaline and we could be better friends. Or more than friends." Suzaku didn't exactly know what he was saying but it felt right to say it.
It felt right to hold Lelouch close to him.
It felt right kissing and touching his best friend.
Whenever he was with Lelouch, always and without fail, everything just felt so right.
It always had.
So no, Suzaku wasn't mistaken. He wasn't being consumed by adrenaline and feeding in to his pent up emotions. He knew what he wanted. He knew to a degree what it was that he felt for Lelouch. Now was a better time than any to tell him. Even if it was terrifying and even with all of the risks involved… Suzaku had never been so sure about wanting to be with someone.
Lelouch frowned. "Do you know what you're saying? You're suggesting that we abandon our friendship, a friendship built and strengthened for over a decade to just jump into something like this on what seems like a-"
Suzaku shook his head, his gaze clearly amused. "You're so longwinded and you think too much…" He smiled before pushing a hand through Lelouch's hair. "We wouldn't have to abandon our friendship Lelouch. The best relationships, romantic and otherwise, are created from situations like this." He leaned forward, his forehead pressed to Lelouch's. "And let's face it, our friendship has never been a normal one."
Lelouch smiled at that. It was true and he'd pondered upon that particular subject profusely over the weeks in which Suzaku was absent from his side. "What if this doesn't work?" Because there was a chance, a very slim one in his opinion, that it could fail.
"What if it does?" Suzaku smiled when Lelouch's face scrunched.
"What about Rolo?"
"He broke up with me two weeks ago and I wasn't expecting that to go anywhere." Which was incredibly insensitive, Suzaku was sure, but it was the truth.
Purple eyes widened. "Why?" Lelouch would not serve as Suzaku's rebound.
"Because I couldn't stop thinking or talking about you."
At that, Lelouch smirked. He'd won despite Rolo's earlier threats. "How can you be so calm and rational about the prospect of us being a couple?"
"Because it's you and, this may sound horribly cheesy but, you make me feel complete."
Lelouch's lips quirked upwards as he stood, his hands still clutching broad shoulders. "You're right, that was awful." And then he leaned forward, his lips hovering over Suzaku's. "But my sentiments are the same."
And with that, their lips met again. It was quick, short, and simple but the feeling of being consumed was no different than if they were actually attempting to indulge in each others taste.
Lelouch moved away first, his heart racing in his chest. "Now that we've resolved this, can we go to bed?" Because he felt drained and Suzaku was still injured so sleep would do them both some good.
"Can I sleep in here?"
Lelouch raised an eyebrow curiously. "Where else would you sleep?"
"Earlier you tried to send me to the guest room."
"Earlier you were being annoying and I couldn't fathom sleeping in the same bed as you with all of my conflicting emotions."
Suzaku smirked as he pulled Lelouch to him, his hands trailing up the boy's sides to rest on thin hips. "And how does sleeping with me now change that?" He kissed a shirt clad stomach and enjoyed feeling Lelouch shudder beneath his touch.
Lelouch groaned because he'd never thought a day would come where someone would be kissing upon his stomach in such a fashion. He was a man and he didn't even know that he was sensitive there but- "I just want to sleep. As in laying down and reaching a state of REM. Nothing else." He wasn't quite ready to see where sex would lead them or how that would work. In fact, it was far too soon for them to be having sexual relations of any kind.
"We can do that." Because Suzaku knew that they had plenty of time to explore the new boundaries of their relationship.
A/N: Well... Things with Suzaku and Rolo kind of had an abrupt but very expected ending. Truth be told, their relationship ended the same way it started: as a mystery! I want to apologize in advance for that shaky time shift. There were two weeks that passed in between when Lu and Rolo spoke in the Library and when Suzaku went to Lu's house. By the time Suzaku and Lu do talk, it's Winter break. Sorry if that wasn't clear to anyone.
But... umm... yayyyyyyyyy for Suzaku and Lulu finally becoming something, right? Right.
I haven't even thought about who the first to know will be... most likely Nunnally and Sayoko. People seem to have a lot of interest in Gino (I love him too btw). I wish I could make him a more prominent character. Maybe he could be the first to know! He and Cee-Cee.
Anyway, all questions are certainly welcomed. And I'm sure there are many.
Unsigned Review Thanks Go To: Felicia, Madi and Guest! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing!
VV: Euphy is, sadly, a girl in love. And a wonderful character tool that, at the beginning of this story, helps to showcase Suzaku's interest and loyalty to Lelouch. That being said... I completely agree that her being so self-righteous in regards to being with Suzaku is ridiculous. The whoas of a teen in love (cuz she's 18). As for how she'll react, I don't think I've actually thought about that... hmm...
Oh, Lulu does have a harem. He's a prince! And everyone else is afforded a harem, thus, it only makes sense. His is small -like nine or ten people.
If you dug it, drop me a line. Otherwise, thanks for reading.