This is my first attempt at writing my own fanfiction. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight or its characters, the plot is all mine.

I made a story banner on Flickr under my name: ifyouweremine


The two cold-stoned memorials haven't changed in five years; same names, same dates.

April 13th.

A day I'll never forget.

Should I feel guilty?

All the witness reports indicated that I did nothing wrong. The truck ran the stop light, striking our vehicle. I never remembered anything from the accident, and no one knew how I survived the crash. I was the sole survivor. Even the truck driver died. Some called it a miracle, and after seeing the pictures, I agreed. An angel had my back that night.

Had he lived, my dad would have pinned the blame on me somehow. And maybe it's his spirit who haunts my dreams, the cause of my nightmares. The tears I shed at the funeral weren't for him. To this day, I'm not sorry he's gone. He was a miserable bastard, and he never loved me or my mother the way a man should.

My mom was beautiful - inside and out. I still dream about her, and if I concentrate hard enough I swear I can hear her voice. I know it's crazy, but at times I even feel her with me. She truly cared about what I wanted out of life. I'll never understand why she stayed with my dad. They were complete opposites; positive and negative energies.

What do they think of me now?

I certainly didn't live up to the old man's standards. His ivy league fantasies died with him that night. He never cared about what I wanted, and nothing was ever good enough for him. Instead of praising my accomplishments, he only emphasized on improvements.

My mom encouraged me to follow my heart and my dreams. She understood why I wanted to help others as they had done for me. Everyone but my dad saw the potential I had with the career path I desired. He wanted a lawyer for a son, not a counselor or teacher.

After my parents were killed, I became emancipated. An inheritance provided financial support for myself, and I had good grades in school. My teachers and counselors spoke on my behalf, too. I was a good kid but losing my mom really fucked me up. I partied pretty hard for a while and was on a path of destruction when I was introduced to Coach Carlisle Cullen through my guidance counselor Mr. Jenks.

He showed me an alternative way to vent my anger and frustration through boxing. It took some time, and I almost gave up, but after a few months I began to see a different me. I ended up graduating high school on time. Afterwards, Coach Cullen offered me a position as an assistant coach, working with the younger fighters. Before long, I realized I'd found my calling.

Through Coach Cullen's son Emmett, I met my best friend Jasper Whitlock. The three of us became inseparable, like brothers. Until Rose Hale came into the picture. Emmett liked her, but she liked me. We dated a few times, but I couldn't commit to Rose. She and Emmett dated after that. But when the paternity test proved Rose's baby was mine, I was stuck, whether I liked it or not. I tried to make it work, I even married her. Rose and I were like oil and water, and it was my mom and dad all over again. I refused to bring up my daughter like that. Grace deserved better.

Emmett's sister Alice and Jasper finally convinced me that leaving Rose wasn't a complete failure. I had tried my best. Rose was a bitch and hard to please. She wanted to control everything - my friends, clothes, and even how my fucking hair was cut. She despised boxing and didn't understand why I spent so much time at the gym. Eventually, I'd had enough of her guilt trips and accusations that I cared more about the kids at the gym than my own daughter.

After eight months, we ended our marriage. I gave her everything she wanted - just to be out. In the end, I was granted visitation every other weekend and major holiday, plus six weeks for the summer. I also agreed to Rose's added clause of having no one of the opposite sex in the home during Grace's stays. Yes, it was a controlling bitch move on her part, but she had me by the balls. It was that or supervised visitations with my daughter, which I didn't want.

Three months later, Rose and Emmett married. She claimed he was a better man and knew how to satisfy her. We all know the truth though, Emmett worships her. He kisses her ass, and she loves it. It's fucking demented if you ask me, but to each their own. Rose is a good mom, I'll grant her that much, and Emmett treats Grace as his own. No issues there. Emmett, Rose and I are civil and tolerate one another for Grace's sake, but we're not as close as we once were.

Yes, I've made some bad decisions, yet I have no regrets. I've lived and learned from my mistakes.


The chilly wind sends shivers down my spine, bringing me to the present.

A bittersweet day for me, every year.

My mother's birthday. The day she died.

It's also Grace's birthday.

April 13th.

Grace has my mom's hazel eyes and her dimples.

A smile spreads over my face as I bend down to replace the old daffodils with fresh ones. I also lay a picture of Grace and I down next to them.

I softly whisper, "I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday."

My dad's grave is intentionally left bare like always.

As I walk back to my car, tranquility washes over me. I stop and close my eyes before rubbing my hand over the ink on my right arm.

I feel her with me.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

I'm working on chapter two and plan to have it ready soon. See ya then :)

**UPDATE 5/5**

There are a couple of things that I'd like to address in regards to Edward's situation.

First, I am NOT a lawyer and personally know NOTHING about divorces, except what people have told me of their experiences. THIS situation was written based off of real life events. I had a friend who implemented a similar clause in his divorce but declined her demand of supervised visitation in her home. If he had agreed to that, it would have been placed in there as well. The courts do not have to order supervised visits if both parties agree to it. This may vary from state to state, and/or country. I honestly have no clue, but it happened where I live.

Second, this is FICTION, but in the real world people get raked over by the court system all the time. If you think they don't and that the law goes according to the book 100% of the time, then you're living in a bubble. Divorce can be messy and more times than not, someone get's screwed.

A million thanks, again, to everyone reading. ~ Jenn