Choices. We make so many of them in the course of our lives. From what to have for breakfast and which suit to wear to trying for that promotion or asking her to marry you. So many made almost without thought and some you agonize over for weeks. You never really imagine that those daily choices could land you here. I mean sure in a profession such as ours you give it more thought than the average person in another career but truly believing it...that's another matter altogether.
To give in to the thoughts would paralyze you. Make you unable to get out of bed. Unable to walk out the door to work. Unable to do what we do every day tracking down the bad guys and bringing them to justice. If any of us sat down and really thought about the risks we take we'd never be able to function as a person let alone as a member of a team. Yet despite these unvoiced doubts we continue to do what we do knowing that no-one else will.
Unfortunately life is not like Sliding Doors. We don't get to live it more than once. We are not able to explore all the possibilities that are available to us every time we make a choice. Looking at me now some may ask if I should have made the choices I did. I can only tell you that I simply did what I felt was right at the time.
So here I am lying in a cold drawer waiting to talk to the medical examiner. His name is Dr Donald Mallard but his colleagues call him Ducky. I learned this the first time we met.