A/N : Hey everyone! It's the un-famous author The Icing Addict returning to make more crackish, cross-over pairings and whatnot! Hahahah!
I've decided to write a Oerba Yun Fang x Hidan story because I feel like it, and because my friend's writing a fanfic, so I felt like joining.
I'm not sure if this'll just be one chapter or multiple chapters. It depends on the reviews I get. And whether I'll be seriously dedicated to this story. Because, well, I'm more of a drawer than a writer!
Anyway, to the story we go! Please enjoy.
WARNING: This is slightly AU, as some of the things that occur in this story would probably never happen in the real manga/anime/game. Also, this is pre-game, meaning the time Hidan and Fang meet up, Fang and Vanille haven't been through the War of Transgression. So no Lightning, Snow, Hope or Sazh.
"Hey Kakuzu, you fucker! When are going to be fucking there?" Hidan complained crudely.
"Shut up you twit! Just keep going, we'll be there!" Kakuzu retorted, as they kept jumping through the trees.
The mission the two "Zombie Brothers", as Kisame called the duo, were given was to do recon in this new world - and possibly dimension - called 'Gran Pulse'. The place sounded extremely foreign to the two Akatsuki members. But like Tobi said, "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page". Where Tobi got that saying, no one knew. Deidara supposed Tobi acquired some sort of "'Magical' Books of Sayings". This was pure sarcasm, no doubt.
After thirty minutes, forty-five seconds of continuous jumping through trees (and occasionally Hidan somehow jumping into a larger branch without really focusing), the two finally reached their soon-to-be destination, which happened to be a giant-ass purple portal.
"What the fuck is this bullshit?" Hidan stated.
"Probably the thing that'll get us to Gran Pulse." Kakuzu said flatly.
"Well let's go! I'm sick of jumping through these shitty trees!"
Kakuzu just sighed as his impatient Jashinist partner walked into the portal.
"I just hope to Kami that this won't take to long. Maybe I can grab some cash while I'm at it"
"Whew! Well, thats the last one for the day!" exclaimed a bronze skinned woman, while carrying the dead animal.
"Hooray! Now we'll have some more food for our village!" a red ponytailed girl said happily.
"Come on Vanille! Help me drag this Gorgonopsid"
The two young woman carried the Gorgonopsid back to their beloved village, Oerba.
"We're here, Hidan." Kakuzu stated.
"Holy fucking Jashin, it's HOT!" Hidan complained.
"Then take off the cloak, idiot. Just don't whine"
"Whoo hoo! Freedom from the cloak, and time to show of my sexy bod!" Hidan yelled to the heavens, as he literally ripped his cloak off. (A/n: Admit it, Hidan WOULD do this. xP)
'Dearest of Gods, help me now...'
Hidan, finally free of the dark robe he was forced to wear, ran off towards some happy Microchus, scythe and spear in hand. Kakuzu sighed once again, as he continued to follow his partner.
"Die you little shits!" Hidan cried as he stabbed the poor little Microchus.
The poor things cried out in pain as they were thrown into the air and then stabbed with the scythe. Hidan enjoyed his little deathly fiasco too much; as it was shown when the seedlings hit the ground, the Jashinist decided the stab the living daylights out of the poor things. Of course, this is what Hidan does for most of the time. Once Hidan was covered in Microchu blood, he cried out in victory.
"Are you done yet?" Kakuzu questioned impatiently.
"Yeah, I'm done you stupid bastard. Let's go and find more things to kill" Hidan stated as he began to run towards a group of Gremlins.
Kakuzu began to proceed, but spotted something shiny.
"Money...?" Kakuzu wondered. 'Better save it for later, just in case. Better safe than sorry, I suppose...'
After an hour and a half of killing Pulsian monsters, the duo began to tire out a bit. Just because they basically had eternal life didn't mean that they have eternal stamina. The Zombie Brothers sat beside some large rocks, taking in the heat.
"Geez, does the sun ever stop shining here?" Hidan complained.
"Probably not" Kakuzu answered, who by now has also removed his cloak and his mask.
Hidan spotted some Kaiser Behemoths and decided to kill them, mostly because he was starting to get hungry. Kakuzu decided to watch his partner. Maybe this battle would be entertaining.
The hungry Jashinist approached a behemoth carefully, not that it would matter if he got torn to bits, but just did it for the sake of catching his prey. The behemoth, however, took notice of Hidan right away, and began to charge at him.
"Aw fuck!" Hidan cursed, and began running. Kakuzu saw all of this, and began laughing insanely. He didn't think anything looked so ridiculously weird and hilarious.
As soon as Hidan reached a small lake, he jumped in. The monster saw this, but stopped at the edge of the lake (Behemoths are mighty and all, but I'm sure they can't swim). The Kaiser Behemoth gave up and turned around, deciding to look for other things to kill and eat. The Jashinist raised his head from the lake just a little bit to see where the behemoth was. Once the monster was a good distance away, Hidan slowly rose from the lake and charged at it. Hearing the footsteps, the Kaiser Behemoth turned around, only he turned around too late, as Hidan was already in mid-air and stabbed the creature in the back. The silver-haired man claimed the victory; he won.
"Haha! You stupid piece of shit! You think you could kill Hidan! HA! AS IF!" Hidan screamed in victory once again. The man stepped aside and began to cut the creature into large pieces, only to find out that the behemoth's eyes were still ... open and alert?
"What the fu-"
The great monster pushed Hidan off of it viciously and began to stand up. It pulled something from its head, which happened to be a giant razor-blade and roared a mighty roar.
"Oh COME ON. This time the Gods are seriously fucking with me" The silver-haired man complained.
He was about to prepare his scythe and spear and begin the battle when he heard a voice. And no, it wasn't Kakuzu's.
"HaaAAAAAAH!" A woman screamed, as she jumped up into the air, and punctured the monster's skull with her lance. The behemoth fell, and the woman retrieved her lance.
"Hey Vanille! We got more food! Call the people, we'll need more hands" She laughed.
Hidan stared at the woman, with confusion and with admiration. Confusion because he hasn't seen a women with such ability, and also because he's never been saved like that. But the silver-haired man stared at her with admiration (and lust) because (1) This woman was down-right gorgeous and (2) again, her prowess and ability. The young beauty finally took notice of the staring Hidan, and chuckled.
"Whaddaya staring at, mate?" the woman asked playfully.
Hidan didn't answer, for was too busy looking at the woman's gorgeous features.
"Probably you, miss" Kakuzu answered.
"And who are you, may I ask?"
"Kakuzu, and this is my um ... 'friend'" the tall man responded.
"Hm, interesting. I don't think I've ever seen you around. Well, my name's Fang" the Pulsian woman said.
"And I'm Vanille! Nice to meet you!" the red head exclaimed, grasping Kakuzu's large hand and shaking it.
"MY NAME'S HIDAN!" the Jashinist practically screamed, his face flushed.
Fang smirked at the response and helped him up, "So, where you guys from? From the look of it, it doesn't seem like you're around from here. Care to share?"
"It's kind of hard to explain. We're basically not from here. As in, this world" the tanned man stated.
"So your from Cocoon?"
"C-cocoon?" Hidan stuttered.
Vanille pointed to the giant, floating red planet. "That's Cocoon."
Kakuzu wasn't sure whether to lie or not, so he simply told the two Pulsian women that they were from another world/dimension, which he hoped they would believe him. Vanille believed him, mostly because the two men didn't seem dangerous; while Fang was a little skeptical. Fang the decided that the two men could either stay with them in Oerba or they could do whatever they wanted and Fang and Vanille and their clans would leave them alone. This time, Kakuzu pulled Hidan over away from the people so they could discuss what to do.
"I want to stay with the sexy bitch" Hidan stated.
"I can tell. But we really need to have a reason WHY we should stay with them..."
"Because the bitch's hot! I want to share her beauty with Jashin!"
"What the ... I'm not going to ask. Hm, we'll stay with them for the night, and then tell our leader our status" Kakuzu stated.
"Fuckin' fine" Hidan replied childishly, sticking out his tongue.
"Has it been decided?" Fang asked.
"Yes, we'll stay with you for a bit"
"Alright!" Fang turned to Vanille and the rest of the hunting group, "Looks like we're gonna have some guests in Oerba! Let's make them welcome, eh?"
Everyone agreed, as the Zombie duo and the Pulsian tribe marched all the way through the Mah'habara Subterra and Taejin's Tower and to home, Oerba.
A/N: Okay that was ... decent. I still thin I could do better. Please read and review! :)