I'm basing this off the G.I. Joe movie (the cartoon one, obviously) where Beach Head tells Jinx she's a bad-luck lady. Where did that come from? Read on and find out!
Beach Head paced in front of his new troops, looking them over carefully. They were a mismatched bunch, but that wasn't anything unusual. G.I. Joe only employed the best of the best, and sometimes, the best were an odd-looking lot.
There was only one female among the six recruits. She stood stiffly to attention, a small Asian woman made even smaller by the huge ex-basketball player by her side. Beach Head stopped and gave her a good-looking over. She stared straight ahead, not even twitching.
On the sidelines, Ripcord nudged Scarlett. "Hey. Bets on how long it'll take them to get through their very first obstacle course?"
On his other side, Clutch grinned. "My money's on the MP with the dog getting the best time. Those guys come tough."
"I'll put a twenty on the woman," Lady Jaye piped up, right on cue. Scarlett stared straight ahead, her long training in intelligence helping her keep a smooth face.
The men reacted strongly. "Are you kidding?" Ripcord demanded. "She's smaller than you are, Jaye!"
"Are you saying that she's a woman so she can't do it?" Scarlett demanded.
"What? No!" Ripcord cast a terrified look at Clutch. Clutch shrugged and stepped to the side, putting the pilot between him and Scarlett. He hadn't even said anything, but he just knew that if this conversation continued, there would be a boot heading towards his head before too much longer.
"Yeah, they're saying she can't do it 'cause one of her specialties is finance clerk," Cover Girl supplied.
The men hadn't actually known that, but it certainly strengthened their resolve.
"Ok, that's it!" Scarlett declared finally. "Let's settle this like mature adults. ACE! GET OVER HERE! WE NEED TO PLACE A BET!"
Ace trotted over, pulling out a notebook. "I'm here, I'm here. Who, what, how many?"
"Twenty on the woman getting the best time," Jaye declared.
"Jaye, you're going to lose your money," Cover Girl said patiently.
"Alright, that's it. Fifty on the woman."
"Fifty," Scarlett agreed.
The men looked at each other. "I'll put a fifty on the MP," Ripcord said finally.
"I'll put a fifty on Falcon," Clutch supplied.
"Falcon? Isn't that–"
"Yeah. Nothing like sibling rivalry to make you go faster, right?"
Ace dutifully jotted down their names and amounts. Scarlett and Lady Jaye grinned at one another, then Lady Jaye flicked her eyes over Scarlett's shoulder. Scarlett turned, in time to kiss Snake Eyes on the cheek.
"Hey, Snakes. Want to place a bet on Sergeant Arashikage?"
*There are people who are dumb enough to be against her?*
Scarlett smiled. "Oh yeah. The boys didn't seem to think she'd do very well, so we decided to settle our differences in a peaceful manner by gambling. Jaye and I have a fifty on Kimi coming first."
"Kimi?" Clutch repeated. "You know her, Snakes?"
Snake Eyes laughed softly. *Yes. I know her very well.*
The high-pitched whistle cut through their conversation, and as one, the Joes turned to watch the recruits tackle their first obstacle course.
The first obstacle was a climbing wall. The Asian woman hit it at full speed, and didn't slow down a jot as she scaled it. Ripcord's eyes widened. Snake Eyes nodded in approval at her technique.
The wall was followed by a tire run. The MP and the basketball player caught up to her there: quick as she was, her legs were significantly shorter. She kept level with them through the hurdles and the wire crawl, then pulled ahead when it came to the rope climb. This was a series of tall poles, with miniscule platforms, linked by varying numbers of rope, rope bridges and commando lines.
The woman Scarlett had called Kimi climbed the first pole in five seconds flat, and proceeded to move through the rest of them faster than anyone Ripcord had ever seen except… of course… Snake Eyes.
The light-bulb clicked on with a certain amount of despondency. "She's a ninja, isn't she?" Ripcord sighed.
"The term is kunoichi." Scarlett sounded way too smug.
"We got played, didn't we?" Clutch sighed.
*Like a ping-pong table.* Snake Eyes clapped him on the shoulder as the three women began laughing.
"You did well," Jaye told Cover Girl.
"Learned from the best," Cover Girl grinned back with a bow.
"Snakes, man, you could have warned us that she wasn't really a finance clerk!" Ripcord protested.
*She is. That's her second specialty. Her first is intelligence. She always did do well at maths in school.*
"Damnit. Can I pay you later, ladies?"
"Not too much later. We might have stuff to buy, after all."
"We might not be out of the running yet," Clutch announced, perking up. "Look, the MP is catching her up!"
Kimi and the MP were both onto the second-to-last obstacle, a huge net. The MP was indeed catching up as they scaled the net, with the man called Falcon tailing them. The recruits had apparently cottoned onto the competition, because their faces were pure determination.
"GO KIMI!" Scarlett yelled. Cover Girl cheered and whooped.
"Beach is going to chew you out if you keep using her first name," Ripcord warned.
"Her last name is Arashikage," Jaye snickered, "Try saying that five times fast."
"That's not even how it's pronounced," Scarlett sighed.
"How do you pronounce it?"
"Well, Snake tells me I've got it wrong anyway, so I'm not the one to ask." She waved her hand. "Anyway, we've already told Beach to give her a codename sooner rather than later."
"She's almost at the top!" Cover Girl interrupted.
"So's the MP!" Clutch nudged Ripcord. "Imagine if we actually got our money back, buddy!"
The MP reached the top of the net at the same time as the Asian woman, but as he attempted to swing himself over the top, he lost his grip and fell backwards down the side of the net he had just climbed. Falcon, who had been right behind him on the net, looked up in surprise, just in time to try to catch his companion. Unfortunately, he seemed to forget that he was, in fact, standing on a vertical climbing net.
Every single human being present, from the recruits still on the course, to the Joes standing on the sides, to Kimi Arashikage, watching from the top of the net, winced as the two men slammed into the ground.
Clutch covered his eyes and sighed. "We'll pay you ladies later."
*Bad luck,* Snake Eyes signed sympathetically.
"Yeah," Ripcord agreed. "Bad luck."