A.N: I have loved Swan Queen, the people involved in the fandom, and the art that has been created by people with a mutual love of the show. I adore Regina Mills and Emma Swan, or at least the Regina and Emma we in SWEN believe them to be. Strong, proud, and dynamic women who are fun to write for. I love SWEN, I love Regina and Emma... I do not however love Once Upon a Time.
I recently took down some of my stories for Once and some for Glee that have languished without an update for months on end, due in large part to my lack of desire to write. I have received at least one comment now shaming me for my disenchantment with the show, done so as a guest so that I am forced to address it publicly. My issue with the show is compounded by guilt piled on people for not wanting to engage with the anger and vitriol Swan Queen endures on a daily basis. I love Swan Queen, but the anger in the fandom makes me physically uncomfortable. I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis and unfortunately my only recourse is to try and avoid that with causes me stress. It is seldom as effective as I would like it to be but I have learned that stressors need to be avoided.
The fact that I might be made to feel ashamed of my feelings is one of the examples of the abuse that is invasive in this fandom, even amongst SWEN. I make no excuses. I have stopped writing for Once Upon a Time for the foreseeable future. My reasons are my own and I do not need to offer excuses. If you liked my stories then I apologize for the lack of endings but I cannot and will not apologize for not immersing myself in a world that has proved damaging to my emotional health.
Fan fiction is written to fix the problems with Canon and to explore the unexplored. I could continue to write fan fiction for a show I have grown to hate, and perhaps I could even write well even though I was forcing it. I am choosing not to.
And to the 'Guest reviewer' who implied that this is some failing on my part; I have been made to feel worthless by people all my life, implying that my reasons for feeling as I do are wrong or invalid and so I have one thing more to say directly to you, fuck you.