Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight; I'm just poking fun at her characters.

This is a parody, written for fun, and not to be taken seriously. :)

I suppose it might be Twilight on crack. Hope you enjoy...


The Sky at Dusk

Chapter 1: In Which the Star-aligned Lovers Meet

Just because the stars in the sky can't be seen during the day doesn't mean they're not there, watching. Today, at high-noon, they're out and in alignment for our lovers. They watch the couple's journey into foreverness just as we do.

The powder-white clouds have staked their claim over the small and mystic town of Forks where the mist blows in and out and back in with the wind, setting a scene through a densely-treed forest that is either eerie or romantic, depending on who you're looking at.

There are secrets in this town that no one's ever heard of. The kind of secrets about love that will make Forks the most well-known and written about small town in America. Great-great grandparents will tell the tales of Forks to their great-great grandchildren, who will continue the tradition on and on through time, and as each tale is told, it will be like nobody's ever shared a similar story before.

Our secret begins with a girl and a boy who are meeting for the first time.

One is slight and plain and clumsy, while the other is tall and gorgeous and sure-footed. Upon their first look at each other across the crowded high school cafeteria, they make fast assumptions and hate each other, but for different reasons. The boy hates the girl because suddenly her scent brings out a side to him that desires nothing more than to inexplicably kill her. The girl hates the boy because he's looking at her with hate. But as they move closer and closer to one another, each one realizes the other holds a depth that was unnoticed before. The boy has a handsomeness never to be paralleled, and the girl has thoughts that hide from him - he must know what they are; nothing will stop him from figuring out her mind. Little does he know, her thoughts are all about him - every one. If she were to tell him this, he wouldn't believe her. He knows there is a never-to-be-revealed mystery about her because he can't read her mind.

They move closer, their feet carrying them slowly and carefully as if they're crossing the very clouds that linger over their town, and they might fall through.

She gives her bottom lip a bite. This is what she does when she gets nervous. Sometimes the lip-bite is accompanied with a blush that could put the beauty of pink roses to shame. Still, she knows she's plain.

On his next inhale, the boy decides that they're too close and runs away to protect her from himself. When he runs, he doesn't just run, he disappears. With toes pointed toward each other, the girl stands there feeling rejected, her head down, her lips trembling. Somewhere a red balloon is floating away on a breeze.

"He was the one," she says, but she isn't sure if she said it out loud or if she just thought it.

Several other boys who she can't tell apart seem to come from nowhere, surround her and try to cheer her up. They shout their names at her, but they're such common names that they aren't worth mentioning. These nameless boys give her more attention than she's ever received before. Girls are looking at her with envy in their hearts. But these boys circling her are not the boy she wants. This depresses her even more.

The handsome boy who ran away has vague brothers and sisters. They are not all biologically related, but they all happen to be out-of-this-world beautiful and carry the same recessive golden-eye gene. And while biology is a much fussed about subject in this town, nobody questions this phenomenon. (By the way, this might be the only time biology comes up in this story, and while it's true that it is a subject rather fussed about in Forks, if you're turning these pages to learn anything about science, you're reading the wrong story.)

Our plain girl shares vague glances and vague conversations with these brothers and sisters. It isn't important to know exactly what is spoken between them; the only important thing to know is that every conversation they share points to our handsome boy. There is one sister among them, though, who looks as though the Barbie doll might have been modeled after her - and later, the plain girl will realize that this is a real possible truth, as the beautiful girl is actually much older than the Barbie doll.

The beautiful blonde has hatred in her eyes, but only when she looks at the plain girl.

It isn't important to know the reason behind the blonde sister's glare, only that there is a reason. The rest of her brothers and her sister love her and fawn over her, and her burly boyfriend can't stop kissing her, so she probably isn't that bad. She might be in this story just to make everyone jealous and serve as a reasonable reason to hate beautiful people, or blondes. We'll let her go for now, but she might be back. That depends on if she has anything to offer our main couple. If she does, it will probably be drama. Isn't that what the most beautiful of all the beauties thrive off of?

Our plain girl, who doesn't really care about beauty at all, has recently confused beauty with perfection. But since she doesn't really care about beauty, she doesn't bother correcting her mistake.

It's several days before the handsome boy and the plain girl meet again. He surprises her as she stands in the cafeteria lunch line.

"I've wanted to kill you since the first moment I laid nose on you."

His voice is like satin against her skin; his scent is like jasmine and honey and warm baked cookies on a cold winter's day; his eyes are like gold pieces and hold the same riches, she's sure. He looks so pale and almost purple (which is one of her favorite colors) and pure, except that he's frowning, which brings a certain danger to his face that she wonders if she should think about. She does think about it, and it turns her on.

"You're so sexy-dangerous."

He smirks at her to prove she's right.

"And you're way too handsome to be bad. I bet you would only protect me like some guardian angel rather than kill me. And if you did happen to kill me, I know it would be an accident and you'd feel really badly about it." She smiles.

He loves her smile. He could plant a garden in her smile, sow it, tend to it, give it the sun, and pluck from it the most beautiful blooms ever before to grace the earth, and bring the petals to his nose, breathe in their scent until his smile matches hers, and others would grow gardens in his.

"We were made for each other," he says.

She gushes and sighs and plays with the ends of her hair - which shines like sun on steel, but is plain and straight and brown and falls to her waist.

"Maybe you should eat."

She's relieved that he's reminded her.

He fills up her lunch tray and they make their way through a crowd that might be there, but might not; this depends on if anyone has anything to say to them that would either cause them sheer pleasure, or the deepest deepness of despair.

Just so the author doesn't have to flesh out any more characters, she's going to give our couple a bubble to live in. Whenever they're together, it's only the two of them in their bubble. (That is unless someone outside the bubble has to move the plot along, but don't worry, nobody will interrupt our couple for long. There are several pockets in this story for each minor character to hide in until they're necessary. These pockets hold craft services that offer sandwiches, fizzy red drinks, gourmet desserts, and chess games, so the characters are always comfortable and entertained while they wait for their cue from the author.)

"Aren't you going to eat?" the girl asks the boy, sitting close enough to touch him, but not quite touching him. Their legs are so close, she notices. He notices how close they are, too, and he has to fight himself from either killing her or making love to her right there in the cafeteria. Keeping his hands and his teeth off of her is so hard he almost shakes. But because he's a vampire, he doesn't shake. Vampires are very still creatures, even if their insides are messy and ravenous for sex and murder.

"I don't eat."

She shrugs. He must be on a diet, even though it really doesn't appear necessary because his skin stretches so perfectly over his lean muscles that she wants to run her tongue along every crevice of his body. This thought makes her blush, which makes the beautiful boy next to her salivate.

"You're killing me," he says, and it sounds like he's holding his breath. Probably because it's so difficult to breathe around her naturally-plain-but-in-every-way-beautiful-to-him beauty.

He would agree. He notices no other girls now that she's come into his existence. It is this moment when he realizes that he will never kill her. How did she look so deep down into the deepest depths of a soul he's sure he doesn't even possess in order to know this about him, before he knew it himself?

"We're made for each other," he says again.

She smiles her smile and blushes her blush and sparkles her brown-eyed sparkle. She doesn't bite her lip, though - there are only so many adorable things she can do at once. She is human, after all.

He watches her eyes sparkle and thinks, I have sparkle, too. But perhaps it's too soon to reveal that.

"I don't think you're human. You're way too good looking and perfect," she says, biting into her apple, while confusing beauty with perfection once again. The crunching sound reminds the boy of the sound skin makes when he sinks his teeth into it. There is a sliver of guilt that snakes up his spine as he recalls the murders he's committed over the years of his monsterly existence. It isn't his fault, it's his vampyric nature. He broods for several moments, anyway.

She'll understand, he thinks.

Just about everyone he's ever killed has been bad, and deserving of it. He knows because he read it in their minds and nobody ever has a fleeting thought that is false or might change, unless it's necessary for his clairvoyant sister, Alice, to be fuzzy in foretelling the future. This may come up later, but we don't have need for it just yet. It might help to know now, though, that Alice has short spiked-out hair that could only possibly be cute on her, she's perky just like her nose, and she dances when she walks.

Our handsome boy remembers the one exception that proved the flaw in his telepathic abilities… There was this person he bit into who was reminiscing about the most horrible murders committed - the kind where body parts are cut up while the victim is alive and screaming. It wasn't until the last thought left the murderer's mind with the last beat of his heart, Now I'll never finish my book about serial killers, that the telepathic vampire realized his mistake.

I couldn't have known, the vampire with an ache in his nonexistent heart told himself then, his burgundy eyes glowering, the limp, dead body falling from his hands. After he screamed and thrashed and curled up into a fetal position all in the name of grief, he went back to his animal-blood-drinking family, where Carlisle, the vampire with a metaphorical heart that's bigger than most humans', was waiting for him with welcoming arms.

I couldn't have known, he tells himself now, his golden eyes glowering. And I did go back to Carlisle.

She'll understand.

With his lips pressed together, the handsome boy grins. "I'd like to hear more of your theories." Who doesn't like to hear others speaking wonderful things about him? There are many human characteristics that vampires don't possess, but an ego in need of stroking isn't one of them.

"I think you're some kind of god."

He shakes his head and frowns. It is a wonderful thing to hear, but simultaneously painful because he knows it isn't true. "I'm afraid I might be the bad guy." He despises this about himself, and frowns so hard his eyebrows are in danger of falling off.

A lengthy brooding is about to take place, but she interrupts him with a giggle that sounds like strumming harps from the Heavens.

His eyes meet hers.

She brings her hand to his face. Her fingers are warm and sticky with the apple's juices, but he barely gets the chance to feel anything with the way she yanks her hand back almost immediately. "So cold." It's said in a whisper and followed with a bottom-lip bite.

"Don't be afraid." He holds the partially eaten apple up to her mouth.

"Okay." She takes a bite, all the while looking into his eyes. They're turning black.


More to come. :)

This is looking to be about 6 chapters, all shortish in length. It's completed, for the most part, and will update quickly.