Joker laughed deliriously as they tore across the large open field toward the plane, far enough away from the center of the farm that was probably going to be swarming with authorities soon. After they reached it, he began a thorough inspection and Harley's relieved expression changed to one of growing concern. Suddenly there were a million reasons she could think of that this plane had no chance in helping them get home, chief of which was who was going to fly it.
None of these thoughts seemed of concern to Joker though as he directed Harley to see if there were any tanks of gas in the barn. Harley kept her concerns quiet for the time being and did as he asked, returning with two containers of gasoline. The Joker placed them both in the floor of the back seat.
"Up you go," he instructed happily, pointing to the cracked leather seat.
"Uh…," she hesitated, not sure how to continue.
"What now?" he sighed. "We need to get this show on the road. In case you've forgotten, I just killed someone."
Harley shifted her feet nervously, before realizing the best way to broach her reservations. "Can we play doctor/patient?" she pleaded.
"What? Now?" he asked in disbelief. He did enjoy that game from time to time though and couldn't help but be curious as to why she'd want to play now of all times. He shrugged and lay down in the grass as though it were a sofa. "This is going to have to be a quick game though," he warned.
"I know," she chimed before putting on her professional face and clearing her throat. "Now, Mr. Joker-"
He stifled a laugh. "You haven't called me that in years," he giggled.
She gave him an annoyed look. "You aren't playing right."
"Right, right," he agreed and tried to put on a more solemn expression, before indicating she should proceed.
"You're a man that has accomplished many things," she began.
"This is true," he nodded.
"That is a feat more rare than most people think. Everyone sets goals for themselves but few actually succeed in reaching them. Most have their goals either unmet or changed due to various circumstances in their lives," she explained. "But not you."
"I'm nothing if not determined, doc," he congratulated himself.
She struggled to keep a straight face at the old moniker as he had done earlier, managing to do so before she continued. "But have you ever considered the ramifications associated with success? One could easily become cocky."
"You make it sound like confidence is a bad thing," he retorted. "It's one of my best features."
"Ah, but what about over confidence?" she rebutted. "What if it gets to the extreme that one begins to believe they can do things they really are incapable of doing?"
He considered this for a moment as he tried to figure out what he'd want to do that he'd be incapable of and didn't come up with anything. "Like what?"
"Like fly a plane," she answered meekly, hugging her legs to her chest, having instantly reverted to her former self upon uttering the words.
Joker propped himself up on his elbows, regarding her. "Is that what this is all about?"
She nodded furiously.
"Do you want to go home or not?" he asked.
She nodded again.
"Then get in the damn plane," he finished.
She nervously did as he asked and he quickly took the pilot's seat in front of her. Not having the keys, he took a panel off the dash and set to hot-wiring the engine. When it began to hum, he smiled triumphantly and turned to face Harley, expecting the same expression. Unfortunately, the vibration of the vehicle only seemed to make her all the more anxious as she realized that actual flight was really going to happen.
He gave her a disgruntled look, but she didn't see it. Her eyes were fixated on the ground as though she knew this was her last opportunity to seek its safety and was considering her options. Several ideas on how to handle the situation flashed through his mind before he settled on the one that was going to cause him the least amount of grief in the long run.
"Harley," he called out over the loud hum of the engine.
"What?" she answered, still staring at the ground.
"Look at me," he ordered.
Slowly, she looked away from the safe spot she had chosen. He pointed at his eyes and she leaned into them intently.
"I've done this before," he assured her.
"Really?" she sang out and enthusiastically embraced him around the neck in relief.
"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go home," she heard him breathe into her ear. She released him and found her anxiousness had turned to excitement as they took off.
The flight had been mostly without incident, despite the fact that the small craft wasn't intended for such long distances. The biggest issues were stopping to fill up with gas, during which time he'd have to find a clearing large enough to land. There was a point when they were tapped out and had to travel some distance on foot to find a place to replenish their tanks.
These obstacles made the trip take longer than it should have, but finally they found themselves nearing Gotham. Originally, they were just desperate to reach the city and didn't really care what happened to them afterward. However, as they neared their destination, the option of remaining free became chief in Joker's mind.
He quickly decided to avoid the airport altogether. The problem then became where exactly could he land. It was much easier in rural areas to find an out of the way, cleared spot large enough for landing an aircraft. Urban areas, unfortunately, weren't made for that sort of thing.
Fate was deciding to smile on him that day as he spied a large green patch below, not too far outside the city, which he felt would do the job. He could sense Harley's growing anticipation behind him as he began his descent.
Harley cheered wildly after they finally landed and dove to the ground. She lay flat against it, literally hugging the earth beneath her. "I missed you Gotham!" she declared joyously.
"I'm sure she missed us too," he replied to her approvingly, before taking in his immediate surroundings. "Who the hell would need a yard this big?"
Harley looked up and found that she was, indeed, laying in a very large yard surrounding a mansion in front of her. The front door open and a balding man in a suit stepped out, no doubt alerted by the sound of the plane's landing.
"Hey, Jeeves!" Joker called out over the long distance. "Call us a cab! We've had a long day!"
"I don't think he's going to do it," Harley said, after the man darted back inside.
"Probably not," Joker sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"I don't mind walking," Harley returned. "Now that I'm home, I don't mind anything."
After a brief stroll down the front driveway, they were met with a pair of large gates that enclosed the lavish home. Despite being ready to scale the stone wall or shoot the keypad, the gates opened for them automatically and they began their hike home.
Behind them, the large gates, each encrusted with a W, swung shut with only a brief creaking sound.
Batman had rushed home, with Robin right behind him, after the urgent call he'd received while attempting to track down the head of a smuggling operation. What he had been told was nonsensical, but he knew better than to question Alfred of all people. They spared a brief few moments after returning to change into plainclothes, though Tim was up the stairs barefoot, in just a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans, before Bruce had even removed all of his armor.
"There, Master Bruce, just like I told you," Alfred pointed, after leading them to the front lawn. The three of them walked together towards the plane, only a few feet from the front drive.
"You're sure it was them?" he asked after reaching the aircraft, finding the situation surreal.
"I hadn't considered that it could have been another clown accompanied by a blonde that decided to land a plane in our front yard," Alfred answered dryly.
"Yeah, but…they didn't try anything?" Tim asked, while rapidly typing the tail number into his smart phone, the glow from the screen lighting up his face in the darkness.
"They seemed quite eager to leave the premises," Alfred verified.
Bruce stood silently. It was one of the few times he felt absolutely stumped.
"HA!" Tim sang out victoriously. "I told you!" He turned his phone toward his partner so that he could read where the plane was registered. "Alabama!"
"None of this makes any sense," Bruce replied matter-of-factly. He hated dealing with the clown, because one could so rarely make sense out of anything. Other criminals were easy: you collected the evidence and put it together until it made a clear picture. Now he was going to spend the next few weeks trying to determine what, if anything, all this meant.
"Perhaps some hot tea, sir," Alfred offered, sensing his frustration.
"Yes," he agreed. "And call someone to get this out of my yard."
It was the wee hours of the morning and they were feeling rather energized, despite the exhaustion of their recent ordeal. Not only had they made it home, but they had made it home and were still free to enjoy themselves. This feeling of euphoria only intensified as they found themselves on familiar streets.
"Now that you're home, what are you going to do first, Puddin'?" Harley asked excitedly, taking a moment to lovingly pat a lamppost.
"I'm going to Panda King and ordering my usual," he answered, immediately thinking of his favorite Chinese spot.
"I'm going to shower!" Harley chimed in. "Indoor plumbing!"
"I'm going to get new shoes!" he replied, indicating his ruined ones.
"I'm going to crank the A/C all the way up and no one can tell me I can't!" she continued.
"I'm going to gut that guy over there!" he added excitedly, pointing to a homeless man sitting in an alley. He wasn't exactly discreet in his proclamation though, and the future victim took off quickly. "Well…now I'm not because I'm just too damn tired to chase him down."
Harley laughed at that and he quickly joined her as they neared their current hideout. As they entered, their giddiness subsided and they knew what would really be the first thing they'd do. Without words, they both headed toward their bed and collapsed on it. It was one of the rare times Joker was quite sure his insomnia would not be getting the best of him.
"Do you know what we need now?" Harley murmured as they both drifted off.
"What?" he mumbled back.