Just something I came up with, thinking about how Willow's addiction to magick in Season 6 is basically a symbol for drug abuse in real life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any of the show's characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Everything around her was cold. Wrapping the blanket tighter around her body, Willow wished the feeling would simply disappear, allowing her to feel the warmth that had always surrounded her. The room around her was quiet, with not a single sound carrying in from outside the window. Her eyes still shut, she tried to block out the thoughts of using magick to make herself feel better. Magick had been the thing that had driven Tara and Dawn away, and it was the single lack of that was causing her to feel so cold.

Forcing the urges out of her immediate thoughts, she tried to remember something, anything before she had even heard of magick, before she had even met Buffy. Images of broken yellow crayons, and past birthdays replaced the thoughts, momentarily making her smile before the urges started again, forcing their way to the forefront of her mind. Fighting them, the girl fought to put them away.

Everything in her body hurt from not using it. It was like a hunger, something that continued to grow inside of her, begging her to finally just give into said hunger and use the power that she was capable of wielding. She had used it countless times before, saving lives with it, protecting herself and her friends. She remembered using it to confront Adam and Glory, how simple everything had seemed to be back then, before Buffy had died and been resurrected. She had been so sure that her friend had been trapped in some distant Hell realm, suffering unknown amounts of torment and pain. The thought had kept her awake at night, haunting her dreams until she had been forced to do something to at least try to rescue the fallen Slayer.

That had been when things had begun to escalate quickly, the usage of Black Magick to bring her friend back from the dead, the hunger that had accompanied the first usage of it. Tara had been worried about her, had voiced her opinions of her usage of it, had even tried to stop her. And she had repaid the concern with using that same force to erase parts of her love's memory. That had been the final nail in the coffin that she had built around herself, the single thing that had driven her away. And now, she lay freezing underneath sheets where they had once laid, alone and suffering through the worst pain she had ever experienced.

She was alone and drowning, sinking in an ocean that she had filled in herself, with each and every spell that she had cast over the past two years only having added to it.

Opening her eyes, she found the world around her to still be quiet, filled only with the pain and cold that she had been experiencing since she had gone to sleep. It hurt not to use magick, but it hurt more to use it. All she had ever done with magick was hurt the ones she loved.