Howdy! 'Tis me! The author! (Crazy right? xD) The only person in here that I own is Sarah. The rest belong to SuprSingr. And honestly, to understand most of these HA! fanfics, you have to check her out. And plus, she's an amazing writer and she comes up with strong, interesting and funny plots. I totally recommend her. Go check her out! After reading this of course. :3 Oh, and review! I'd like to know what you think about women equality and all of that jazz and what was thunk about this. I only just made it so it's eh.
ON WITH THE SHOW :D
"Hey." I smiled at my best friend as my parent's car pulled away. Philip Bob Craig Shortman had been in the middle of reading a book on his stoop when I pulled myself on to the seat next to him. I leaned in to glance at what he was reading. "Umm…"
"The 100 Truths As To Why Woman Are Evil: Volume 1." My eye brows rose as I looked at his seemingly two hundred page book that he was halfway through.
"Just got back from the store with it."
"Yeah." The book slammed closed and he looked at me solemnly. After a moment, his face broke out into a smile. "So, what do you want to do before we go to my grandparent's house?"
I dramatically sighed and my back fell against the concrete step. "Oh, woe is me! I do not know, Romeo." My eyes had wandered out to across the street into open land, when they flew back to his eyes with a smirk. "I wanna go inside."
He didn't say a word, but got up and traveled up the steps with me right behind him. The door opened and we passed across the threshold into his home. I could hear very feminine giggles coming from their living room. I paused and my head tilted as I slowly and silently pushed the door closed. Phil had made it half way up the stairs before he realized I wasn't there. His Royal Shortness turned and nearly glared at me. "What are you—?"
"Sh!" I hissed quickly and quietly trotted a few steps and gently tilted my head to glance stealthily into the room where the giggles were coming from.
The source of the noise was coming from the gorgeous Sophie Carpenter. Her silky dark hair hung around her shoulders and her sparkling hazel eyes were trained on her boyfriend, the infamous Zachary Shortman. The blonde was laughing along with her at some joke they shared.
From the floor, I saw Amanda turn and glare at them. Even though she's only seven, she sometimes could scare me. She was a perfect little girl on the outside, and a freakin' Hulk on the inside. After realizing glaring at them was to no avail, she turned back to her show. Ham, the football-headed normal one in the family, was hogging the popcorn which elicited a punch from the youngest blonde.
As I was watching the family's usual behavior, Phil came and stood by me in the doorway, making it obvious that I was there. "Dude." I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I stood up regular and joined him in the entrance.
"Don't 'dude' me. I was leading you up to my room when you disappeared to," He paused and glanced at his family with a disgusted look on his face and it also dusted his tone when he finished with, "here."
"Sounds sexual." I murmured vaguely with a slight snort. His eyes whipped over to mine in complete and utter shock. His crystal peridot eyes looked stricken but then soon hardened over when he punched my shoulder. Hard.
"Ow!" I gasped. Immediately, I right-hooked him and he emitted a similar noise as to what I made. Surprisingly, the only one who noticed us was Ham. The do-gooder that he was, immediately broke up our physical violence.
"Guys! Why don't you come over here and sit down." I turned then with my anger melting away and I basically skipped to sit down next to him. I plopped down beside him and looked around him to smile at 'manda, and then I sighed. With my eyes closed, I replayed that scene and winced. Sure, beat on the guy you're in love with; perfect Sarah!
I sensed Phil, who had sat down on my left, lean in closely and whisper into my ear, "What are we even watching?" His warm breath tickled my ear and my skin rose with goosebumps.
My eyes snapped open and I almost even jumped away from him and into Ham. "So, 'manda, what are we watching?" I asked in a rush and she didn't even respond for a moment. Then she reached her hand forward and hit guide.
"Wife Swap. Taylors and the Brazenwoods." I murmured, eyes flying across the screen. "Hm."
"We at the Taylor household believe that men belong outside and a woman's place is in the kitchen." A blonde, pretty southern woman was telling the camera with a smile.
"Bull!" I shouted as Amanda and even Sophie called out similar things. Sophie even went as far as to grab some popcorn from her bowl and chucked it at the TV. I glanced amusedly at her. Her legs were across Zach's and her eyes were knitted with concern.
"That is crap! Girls and boys are equal." I argued and the other girls agreed with me. Amanda, being the kid she is, stuck her tongue out at the TV that she muted.
"Well, yeah, I guess, but females are the ones who do all the housework." The oldest Shortman shrugged and then was slugged in the shoulder by his girl.
"I agree. Women are not as smart or as good or as strong as men are. It's a fact." Phil, my dear Phil stated as if it was nothing. I turned to him with betrayal clear in my eyes.
"You don't mean that, do you?" My voice was low and it trembled slightly as I matched gold eyes to green under my lashes.
All Phil did was stare at me for a moment and then swallow loudly. I could tell he was about to say something when Amanda and Soph were on their feet screaming at Zach who was angrily fighting back. In a blink of an eye, Phil was up there in the middle of it, arguing it out on his brother's side.
"You belong in the kitchen!"
"You're a chauvinistic, illiterate pig!"
"You're a prude!"
"Women are equal!"
"WOMAN!" Were only some of the insults the four of them tossed around. I think Phil even added in something about women making men into slaves…? I'm not sure.
I glanced at Ham beside me who was wincing and trying to watch the show. "So…." He looked over. "What's you're take on it."
"I'm not getting involved." I nodded at that. That was acceptable.
"Understood. But here's my question," The jock looked at me with a bit of interest and I tilted my head and pondered, "Where are your parents?"