Timing: post-season 3 end

Spoilers: seasons 1-3, so far mainly 3:20 and 3.21 (ITLD)

Disclaimer: Farscape is the property of the Jim Henson Company, Channel 9 and Hallmark Entertainment.

A/N: another 'Crais is alive' story. This is just the first chapter, but there's more coming.


Chapter 1: Awakenings

Voices in the darkness, suddenly there were voices in the darkness. He couldn't make out the words but he could hear them. Until now he hadn't realised that all he could hear was silence.

"Any change?" a gruff voice said from beside him, the words suddenly familiar to him.

A sigh came from his other side. "Still nothing." A musical voice, one that made him feel strangely calm and comforted. "Has any progress been made with the gunship?"

The gruff voice again. "Its systems have been overloaded, over 98% of the data stored has been lost and we can't pull it out of sleep mode either. It's in worse shape than this one."

"Will he wake up?"

He sensed movement around him. "I wish I could tell you." The voice softened. "We're trying."

"Did you find out who they are?" The music voice again.

"All the records are gone. We searched the entire ship and found nothing identifying either of them. But that ship is Peacekeeper, Carma and he was in Peacekeeper uniform when we found him."

Carma, that was what the musical voice was called.

"So what do we do if he wakes up?" Carma said. "And what do we do if he doesn't?"

Her questions weren't answered.

"I have great faith in you," the gruff voice said, with obvious affection. He sensed movement once more, and a few moments later heard a door closing.

Carma sat down by the bed and looked at her patient, still oblivious to his surroundings. She took his hand in hers and rested her elbow on the bedside as she looked into his face. "Live," she said. "And wake." There was no response.

He heard her.

Laying his hand back down she slowly got up and began, once again, to study the results of her scans. As she worked she softly began to sing a song unfamiliar to him. The voice first seemed to strengthen, but soon it began to fade into the darkness as the silence returned.


No voices, but no more silence. He could feel now, feel himself lying there. He tried to move his hand, but failed. He tried to move his mouth to form words, but failed. He focused all his attention on his eyes and slowly managed to open them. His vision was blurry at first, but it grew sharper. All he could see was a white ceiling above him. He couldn't move his head to see anywhere else. He was alone.

Struggling to control the panic that wanted to rise up in him at being paralysed, he focused on recovering movement. He had no way of knowing how long it was that he lay there, struggling to regain control over his limbs. He felt weak and vulnerable. At that moment the only thing he was certain of was that he didn't like feeling like that.

It wasn't until he tried to sit up that he realised he was locked into a medical stabiliser. There was nothing more he could do, except wait for someone to find him. He didn't even know if that someone would be a friend or a foe.

Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him, and then saw a face looking down at him. Blue eyes met his.

"You're awake," Carma said.

"Yes," he said, trying out his own voice. It sounded deeper than he had expected.

"Who are you?" she asked.

He strained to remember. Finally he found that there was only one answer he could give. "I do not know."

"What do you remember?"

"Nothing," he said, the panic threatening to rise up once again.

She unlocked him and helped him to sit up. She walked over to her workbench and came back with a mirror, which she gave to him. He brought it up so it was level with his face, wondering what he would see.

A face looked back at him. It had long, dark, wavy hair, a neat beard and dark eyes. It looked like a perfectly good face.

He just didn't know whose it was.

"Does that help?" Carma asked, sitting down beside him.

He turned to look at her. "I...do not know who that man is," he said. "And I do not know who you are."

"That part is because we have never met before," she said. "My name is Rayli Carma."

He looked at her properly now. She was Sebacean. She had hair down to her shoulders in a soft shade of brown, in direct contrast to her vivid eyes. Her skin was pale. He was sure that she was telling the truth, they had never met before. He would have remembered her, even if he couldn't remember himself.

"Is there anything that you can tell me about myself?" he asked, feeling awkward.

"We tried to find out who you were," she said, "but we found nothing. There isn't much that I can tell you. You are Sebacean, we found you in a Peacekeeper Captain's uniform on board a part-Peacekeeper, part-Leviathan gunship. The gunship was heavily damaged, all its systems were overloaded and its left starburst fin was missing. You were on the floor of the ship's command in a deep coma, with severe injuries to the back of your neck. There was so much debris in the wound you nearly died of metal poisoning, even after we got it all out."

He instinctively reached up to feel the back of his neck. It felt smooth, no sign of an injury or scar.

"How long have I been unconscious?" he asked uneasily.

She bit her lip. "It's been over two monens," she said, gently.

He ran the back of his hand over his forehead.

"I have no memory of any of this," he said. "I do not remember being a Peacekeeper, I do not remember owning a ship and I have no idea what could have happened to put me into a coma. I...do not even know my own name."

"I hope that your memory will return in time," she said. "Until then, I think I will call you Asan."

"Why Asan?"

"It was my brother's name," Carma said, "he died when we were children."

"It is very...disorienting...not to know who I am."

"Can you walk?" She asked suddenly.

He slowly got off the bed, his legs collapsed under him. "I does not seem so," he said, his pride hurting at being helpless.

She crouched down beside him and met his eyes. "You've made remarkable progress considering that a few hours ago you couldn't even move your head."

"You were watching me," he stated.

"Do you believe that I generally leave my patients unattended for that long? I thought you would appreciate having time to make progress by yourself. The rest will come, and soon."

"And what shall I do until then?" he asked.

"I'll find you a chair sled and we will go to visit your ship. Maybe that will help you to regain your memory."

He had to lean on her heavily to get back onto the bed. It only made him more determined to recover quickly. He could control his body, even if he couldn't control his mind.


"Why did you rescue me?" he asked, as they moved slowly along the corridor.

Carma smiled at him. "As a rule we like to keep away from outsiders. We do not allow visitors or trading parties to land. However we maintain constant long-range scans for distress calls and damaged ships, and these we do allow to land. We care for any survivors, repair their ships and send them on their way again. Leviathans in particular are considered to deserve our attention. Peacekeepers generally are not."

"And yet you say that the ship is part-Peacekeeper?"

"In design, but a Peacekeeper ship would have more than one crewmember. I hope that when your memory returns you will be able to explain it to us."

"And until then, what will happen to me?"

"You will stay with us and I will do whatever I can to help you," she said simply.

"Thank you," he said, gratefully.

"It's my job," she said, eyes twinkling.

"Of course," he replied, feeling awkward.

They moved on in silence, her walking, him on the floating chair sled. They turned a corner. "Here we are," she said, gesturing upwards. "Your ship."

He stared upwards at the huge black and red ship with its smooth lines and armoury. "That is my ship?" he said in amazement.

"Well I assume so," she said, smiling. "Although I suppose you could have stolen it."

"Can we go inside it?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard her last remark.

Carma signalled two of the technicians working on the ship to open the access doors. "I hope that seeing the inside may bring back some of your memories," she said.

He slowly manoeuvred himself inside with her following close behind. They made their way through corridors until they reached the command. The doors had been wedged open since the controls were no longer working. He looked around in wonder at the inside of the ship.

"Anything?" she asked.

He struggled to find the right words. "I...remember being here. It is...familiar to me, but I do not know why. I cannot tell you anything that has happened here."

"It's a good sign that you recognise the ship. For the rest I'm afraid that you'll just have to be patient."

He didn't answer.

"Would you like to stay here?" she asked.

"No," he said. "I would like to see some of where I am."

"Then I'll show you."


"Where are we going?"

"The lookout tower. You'll be able to see all over the city and beyond from up there. It's the best I can do for the moment. When you've fully recovered the use of your legs I'll take you on a tour of the city."

The pod they were in continued moving slowly upwards. Suddenly the blank walls dropped down below them and they were surrounded only by a transparent material that gave the illusion of no walls at all, only the floor below them. He slowly turned himself around, studying the city from all angles. Considering their obvious medical and technical expertise it was much less industrial than he had expected. He could see open spaces and plant life everywhere, dwellings of all shapes and sizes, huge lakes and rivers in every direction. Among them were the larger buildings that usually marked a city, but even their design was strange. Instead of the city being separate from the surrounding countryside, it seemed to be part of it. Buildings seemed to be fashioned from native wood and stone instead of artificial materials. Life here seemed to be as much in harmony with nature as it could be without compromising their level of technology. He'd never seen such a beautiful place.

"It is...beautiful," he said.

"I always wondered if I only thought that because it is my home," Carma said. "I'm glad to know that someone else thinks it is lovely too. It will be your home too for as long as you are recovering. If you look right down there," she said, gesturing to a small cluster of dwellings near a small wood, "you can see my house."

"Are you certain that you wish me to stay with you?"

"It is the accepted thing here," she said. "My duties as a care-giver do not end with medical treatment. I am responsible for your rehabilitation in its entirety. We find that it encourages high class care when a relationship is forged between carer and patient. I agreed to this when I became a carer, and Selon tolerates it admirably."

"Selon...is your husband?" he asked, strangely bothered by it.

"No," she said, "he is my father. I'm...not married. Being a carer usually leaves little time for other pursuits."

He nodded. "It must require a great deal of commitment."

She smiled. "So do most things that are really worth doing. ...Come on, I'll take you home."