THE DAY Remy Stopped Chasin' After Blondes

So, this is my first Romy one-shot. And I'm testing out a possible series of one shots arranged in order of events, episodes, etc. centered on the beloved Southern couple. Even though this is in Remy's POV, I didn't keep the accent in the narration as I didn't want to disappoint. Feel free to comment criticize or bash after reading.

DISCLAIMER: I'm too young to own the X-men. :(

REMY'S POV
I was a ladies' man long before my empathy manifested. If you asked mon frere about it, Henri would tell you about the time I accidentally hit Tante Mattie's special blueberry pie and sent it crashing to the floor yet still managed to convince Tante not to punish me. He would go on to add that I not only got out of that mess unscathed, I also got rewarded with an affectionate kiss to the cheek and a huge, gooey chocolate chip cookie.

You could say that that was when I realized the full extent, the full power of my…skills. And that started everything. I chased after everyone wearing a skirt and pants, and shorts and bikinis, as long as they were belle femmes. And what a bon time I had. They were all fawning over me the moment I opened my mouth.

This was especially fun when I was on a job. The femmes loved the accent. Just a simple utterance of a "Bonjour" was enough to send them all swooning. (And enough to buy me the time I needed to make quick getaways and snag a few wallets, along the way) Yes, I was a ladies' man and I loved every single moment of it.

Of course, while I was willing to flirt with every woman that passed my way, I still had preferences. None were quite as good as blondes. First, they were idiots and so easy to manipulate. And, of course, they were blondes. No other group of women had hair that shone like gold. A thief, as you may have guessed, loves all shiny things and I wasn't an exception.

It was probably why I had gotten into that mess with Bella Donna in the first place. I may or may not have had a crush on her and we may or may not have been a couple when we were 13. Her pere had caught us making out once and that had given him that horrible idea that we should (shudders) get married when we were of the right age.

I didn't let that stop me from actively pursuing other blondes. (And why would I?) Belle chased after other young, not-quite-as-charming-as-me men and I flirted and hooked up with several blue-eyed blond haired beauties.

Then came the wedding day, and the little issue where I send Julien into this 3 month long coma after he revealed his not so brotherly feelings towards Bella Donna and challenged me to a duel. I won, of course. Bella Donna was so pissed at this utter destruction of her perfect dream wedding that she decided to spite all of us by eloping with this bartender named Andre. And that was how I got out of marrying one crazy blond and living with another crazy blonde.

Well, this new crazy blonde is not so much a chick as he is a ferocious, Wolverine hating killing machine. He came with Master Buckethead to "recruit" me for his new team. I was so eager to just disappear for a while that I immediately jumped into the bandwagon.

The job wasn't so bad. We mostly had to stalk those X-kids. I was assigned to watch that anal leader of there, One Eye. He was obviously in love with that red head. I think her name is Jean. Anyways, he was so pathetic following her around. And he was really predictable too. I had his whole schedule memorized in a week and spent the rest of my time doing a few "jobs" here and there.

That was, until Buckethead caught on and told me to keep watching One Eye. Which brings me to where I am now. Sitting on a tree, watching him whine over how long it took some girl name Rogue to get there.

"Ahm here. Sheesh. Would ya cut a girl some slack? Kelly cornered me, okay?" The speaker, Rogue, I presume, proceeds to jump into the car and folds her arms across her chest, obviously annoyed. The car quickly leaves the school grounds yet I made no move to follow.

You see, for some unexplainable reason, my breath had caught in my throat and I felt dazed. Now, Remy Le Beau never feels dazed. The femmes are the ones that can't take their eyes of Remy not the other way around. But this femme, she was different. Her white bangs framed her delicate features and her green eyes were the most beautiful he had ever seen. Her lips (although they were in that awful shade of purple) formed a pout that spoke volumes about her annoyance yet added to her cuteness factor. If there was a belle femme, then that was her. If only she would stop wearing that gunk her face and- wait a minute. What am I even thinking about? She's an X-geek. And one of those goths who probably read those weird vampire stories -the real ones, mind you. Not those overly sappy romances disguised as vampire novels. Mercy read those disgusting things. Did I mention that goths were not my type?

With that, I finally decided that maybe I should head back to the base for now and go steal the firebug's lighters and hide them in Sabey's room again. Maybe that would keep my mind of that girl.


It didn't work. I heard the very satisfying sound of Sabertooth growling and Pyro screaming like a little girl hours ago. It was 1 AM in the morning and here I was, still thinking about that X-man that I was watching this afternoon. I glance at the file I had pilfered from Buckethead's table this afternoon and told myself that this was stupid. I finally give in and reach for the file that Magsy had of her that I barely looked at the last time. Her name was Rogue (I knew that much) and she was adopted by Mystique. Huh, poor girl. She originally lived in Caldecott, Mississippi. I knew it. She was from the South. I could identify that drawl anywhere. And what's this? She couldn't make skin contact with anyone because she could absorb my powers and also the memories/thoughts of the people she touched. A challenge. I love challenges.

And that sealed the deal for me. Rogue, the untouchable goth, was going wish she could touch by the end of this. Let's see who'd be dazed by then.

And that was the day Remy Le Beau stopped chasing after blondes to pursue to Green eyed Southern belle with white streaks on her hair.