Tuesday, July 17, 4:17 pm
"Ellie ... it's Morgan ... sob ... it's bad ... car acci ... gasp ... come quick."
"Morgan, Morgan ... what are you saying?"
"Chuck ... sob ... bad ... come home Ellie."
'Okay, Morgan. I'm calling Mom and we will be there asap."
Tuesday, July 17, 11:52 am
Chuck never saw it coming. He didn't see much these days actually. Now the pain was so deep and all encompassing. It's not like in the movies where everything moves in slow motion, he thought. But the noise was overwhelming, the physical pain was incredible, all on top of the constant pain in his heart. All he could do was yell: "Saaaarrrrrrrraaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Friday, February 17, 5:30 pm
The one magical kiss hadn't worked. As much as Chuck willed it and Sarah wanted it, it didn't work. And when it was over they both knew this was the end.
Sarah looked down and away as tears caressed her cheeks and she could taste their saltiness. Chuck continued to look at her, this love of his life, and felt his heart dying.
"Chuck," Sarah said softly, "I have to go. Please know I want nothing more than to feel the love we knew but I have to go find myself before I can hope to find the love. I do trust you but..." And she stood and walked away.
"Sarah ... Sarah! I Love You. And I always will ... always. Please come back to me ... Sarah." But Chuck knew it was too late.
Friday, July 6, 3:30 pm
Through General Beckman Sarah rejoined the CIA about a month after leaving Burbank and returned to The Farm. She wanted ... no needed ... a complete refresher course to bring her back to the mentality it takes to be a great spy. This was the life she knew and could only see herself returning to it fully committed. Colonel Casey said she had gone soft so she needed to get back to the strong, confident agent she had been before. Sixteen weeks of gruelling physical training, weapons qualifying and general spy craft left Sarah drained but ready to go back in the field.
"Agent Bartowski..." General Beckman said.
"General, if you don't mind I would prefer to be called Agent Walker."
"As you wish ... Agent Walker. You have completed your refresher training and are ready to rejoin active duty. You have surpassed even your own original record-setting scores and ratings in all phases of your training. Welcome back."
"Thank you, General."
"However ... Sarah ... I am still concerned about you. I know you are physically in top form but I'm speaking to you, not as General Beckman, but as Diane. You have suffered a great loss after so much time learning to be more than just a great spy. You grew from an efficient, well-trained spy to all that plus a woman with feelings, emotions and love. Unlike many of us, you were able to be both; and now much of that is gone."
"General, I am..."
"No, Sarah, you need to take some time off. Go visit your mother or father, or the rest of your family. Go to the beach, go to Paris, do something to get your head and heart on the same page. Make sure you have completely come to terms with your situation. This can not be something that will come to haunt you in the field. Please, Sarah, as your friend ... you know your mind ... but do you know your heart?"
"General Beckman, while I appreciate your concern, I think I have reached a level of stability and calm necessary to be the agent you want. Do I wish things were different, that I could remember the last five years? Of course. But I need to move on. My memories are gone ... destroyed ... and I need to get back to the job I am uniquely qualified to do."
"Nevertheless, Agent Walker, I am not renewing your status for the rest of the month. That's an order!" Softer, as a friend again, Beckman continued, "Travel ... relax ... reconnect. Then if you still feel the same, come back and I will welcome you."
The ever vigilant Agent Sarah Walker did not miss the look from the General going to her left hand where she still wore her engagement and wedding rings. "Good luck, Sarah. Take care of yourself."
Friday, February 17, 6:50 pm
Chuck stood on the beach and watched her until she drove away. Tears still ran down his cheeks and the pain in his gut was forcing him to breathe hard and put his hands on his knees. His love ... his one and only love ... had just walked out of his life and he was powerless to stop her. He offered her all that he is and ever could be but it didn't seem to be enough. She had once asked him to trust her and he did. That trust had grown, not only in him, but in Sarah as well. From handler/asset, to friendship and ultimately, to love. "Damn you, Quinn! Damn you, CIA!, Damn you all to hell that you would give me so much and then take it away in an instant."
Somehow Chuck found himself back at Echo Park but he couldn't enter the apartment. He just stood outside staring at the door. Morgan and Alex had been watching him for nearly an hour, desperately trying to think of something they could do for their friend. Finally Morgan went outside and quietly led Chuck into their apartment. There was nothing to say so the two old, dear friends sat quietly in their pain and need.
Friday, June 8, 4:18 pm
The zombies Chuck and Morgan used to joyously shoot down in their video games had nothing on Chuck. In fact, if real, they would probably be more active and emotional than Chuck. He was becoming just a shell. Sitting for hours staring at a blank TV; eating only if someone brought food to him; talking only when directly asked a question. He never even talked to Ellie or his Mom on the telephone anymore. Casey came by a couple of times, mostly to see Alex, but always to visit with Chuck. He was amazed each time how much skinnier and more gaunt Chuck was.
"Morgan, when was the last time Chuck actually did anything at all?" Casey asked on his most recent visit. "I'm going over there and kick his butt!"
Alex stopped him at the door with a look only a father and daughter could understand.
Morgan came to stand with them. "He goes to the beach once or twice each week but then just sits in the same place every time and stares out at the ocean with tears running down his cheeks. That's it ... even sizzling shrimp doesn't stir him anymore. No video games, no nothing. What should I do, Casey? He can't continue this way."
Casey's grunt was not of anger but one of concern but he, too, didn't know what to say to Chuck. Chuck had just been a moron to babysit when they first met. And Walker was a pain in the ass with her 'superior than thou' CIA attitude. But through all the missions and trials, the three had forged a bond based on the goodness in Chuck. Yes, both Casey and Sarah had gone a little soft because of this three-way friendship. And there developed a mutual respect, even friendship, between the two spies. There was no doubt these were the two best operatives he had ever worked with. Casey was truly happy for Chuck and Sarah when they married and it pained Casey to the core to see them apart.
His door opened and Chuck emerged into the courtyard. "Bartowski! Hey, Moron!" Casey yelled at him as he pushed out the door to intercept Chuck. "How big a moron are you anyway? You LET her walk away knowing she was injured and vulnerable? I never thought I would see you pull a stunt like this!"
"Hello to you too, Casey" was all Chuck said and tried to keep walking.
"Ungh... Well, if you don't care about Walker anymore how about your best friend? Or your sister? Or mother? You're hurting them as much as Sarah is hurting need to suck it up bubba and get back to life. Get back to finding Sarah and make your miserable life worth something!"
Chuck stopped walking and looked at Casey while softly turning his wedding ring around and around. Looking down and in a quiet voice only Casey could hear he whispered, "I don't know where she is. We both know if she doesn't want to be found, there is nothing either of us can do."
"Bartowski, how did you find Sarah and Shaw in Paris? Because you are very smart and a helluva spy. Get back in the game!"
"No." And Chuck walked out of the courtyard.