Don't ask about the name. Don't ask about the unusual summary. I just needed a depressing name for a major depressing story I'm planning for this to be. :) I really don't know how I got this idea.:P but I hope you enjoy this! :)

And this could be the most AUish story I've ever written. BTW, The beginning of this story. It's not because that confession of Sam at the end of 2.02. This was set after 1.22.

And don't take Dean's anger seriously. This is only for my story purposes and I mean come on! Watching your dad get shot by your brother? (Even Reluctantly) kinda does mess with your emotions.

Set: 1.22, Devil's Trap

Summary: AU. Sam shot his father when the YED possessed him. Now he's desperate to make it up to a broken and angry Dean. And his hurtful words and actions grows his desperation even more.

Chapter 1

Sam woke up one morning to the loud sounds of smashing. He jolted up and froze for a small second, wondering where the sound was coming from. He ran out of his room and down the stairs. He ran out to Bobby's salvage yard and found Dean, taking all his anger out on his most precious possession with an iron crowbar. The Impala.

He couldn't blame him though. It was too much to take in. Watching your own brother shoot their dad was a lot to watch. He blinked back tears as he remembered how he shot his own father with the Colt. Everything changed after that night about a few days ago. Dean would move away from his touch. He never looked at him the same, like the way he used to. He'd only look at him with anger and disgust, maybe even hatred. Like he was some sort of freak. He tried to make him open up once, but it all ended up with him yelling at him to stop pushing him and leave him alone.

It hurts a lot. It aches his heart to see how Dean looks at him. But he deserved it. He didn't know what to do, dad was yelling at him to shoot him. He panicked, he knew that if he let the yellow eyed demon go, it would've killed them all. It would've killed Dean.

God dad. I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do, If I would've had any other choice, I would've taken it.. But I didn't.

Sam blinked back his tears. He stared absent-mindedly at the now damaged Impala.

"You shoot me! You shoot me in the heart, son!" John yelled through his gritted teeth at his son as he held back the demon possessing him. Sam loaded the gun as he pointed it to his chest. "Do it now!"

"Sam, don't you do it.. don't you do it!" Dean said in a pained voice.

"Please, hurry! I can't hold him any longer!" John tried to convince his indecisive son.

Sam swallowed as he stole one glance at his brother. If he lets the demon go, It would kill his brother. He can't watch that happen in front of his own eyes. He looked back at his father who struggled to keep control of his body. His eyes teared up, his throat and chest going tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly and reluctantly pulled the trigger, flinching as it shot through the air and into his dad's heart. He put down his hand and stared at the bullet hole and the blood flowing out of his father's slowly going still chest.

Sam bit his lip and finally let the tears flow down his tan cheek. But he quickly wiped them away and looked over at Dean. Who stared wide-eyed in shock as he saw his own brother shoot his dad. Suddenly, he felt a volcano of rage bubbling inside of him along with a wave of sadness washing down on him. But his rage overshadowed his sadness as he pushed his brother away angrily when he tried to help him up.

"Don't touch me!" Dean yelled angrily at his guilty brother. He got up by the support of the wall, gritting his teeth as he did so. But failed as the injury stinged at the movement.

"Dean.." He whispered. He moved his trembling hand to grab hold of his injured brother's elbow but he yanked it away from him. "Stay the hell away from me!"

Sam swallowed down the growing lump inside his throat as he stared sadly and guiltily at his brother. "I.. I'll call Bobby." He said in a low cracking voice and received no reply in return.

Sam bit his lip guiltily. He knew how much dad meant to Dean, he was his idol, his role model. His hero.

And he took him away from him. He killed his father. His own dad. There wasn't a second that he didn't think about him and kept wondering. Could there have been any another choice?

Dean stopped hitting the Impala and breathed heavily.

Bobby ran out in the salvage yard. He stared questioningly at the ruined Impala. "What the hell?" He asked in a low voice in astonishment.

Sam sat on one of the kitchen chairs while Bobby cooked some food. They heard footsteps and found Dean walking to the table, grabbing one of the chairs and sitting down. He didn't look at his brother, just turned his eyes on Bobby.

"So, how's that car of yours goin'?" Bobby asked with a small smile.

Dean shrugged slightly. "Fine." He replied simply.

"Well, that's good then." Bobby said as he set three plates one the table filled with food. And sat down on the table.

Dean sighed heavily. "I.. Uh.. I think I'm just gonna go eat in my room." He took his plate and walked off upstairs to his room to eat alone.

Sam watched as Dean went upstairs. It was obvious he didn't wanna be in the same room as Sam. Did he really go that far? That Dean wouldn't even want him around anymore?

He tried to keep his tears at bay at the thought. Dean didn't want him around anymore. He couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him.

He felt a sudden desperation to make things right. He needed to make it up to him. But he wasn't sure if he could ever repay for what he did. He killed his dad. And now Dean hates him.

He stared down at the empty space on the floor. He was so lost in thoughts that when Bobby rested a hand on his shoulder. He startled and flinched.

"He didn't leave because of you, alright?" Bobby tried to reassure the young man. He said it like he actually red his mind. He squeezed his shoulder and smiled comfortingly. "Now eat." He forced.

Sam stared at the food. The thought of it only made him nauseous. He doesn't think he could handle a meal.

Dean walked downstairs and walked inside the kitchen. He put his plate in the sink and turned to Bobby. Who was trying to convince Sam to eat. "What a waste of food." He muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes. "I'm going off to work on my car. If you need me, I'll be at the salvage yard." He walked off

The fact was, he was only talking to Bobby. Dean really didn't want him around.

He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat. But he couldn't disappoint Bobby. Especially, since he's the only person left in this world who cares about him.

So he took the spoon and slowly started eating.

"Good." Bobby smiled and sighed as he got up. He heard footsteps behind him and just in time. He saw Sam walk out of the kitchen.

He followed him up worriedly and his concern grew even more for the kid as he watched Sam get on his knees in front of the toilet and starting throwing up all that he's eaten.

The kid was really guilty and completely stressed out.

Hey guys! Review please! :D love you all. Thank you for all your support.