PSYCHE! Did you really think I would end it like that? NO! There must always be an epilogue! ^w^ Now, here is the true ending of Do You Like Shakespeare?, because I just couldn't stop writing until the end. Thank you all for reading!
Edward Elric... will you marry me?
"Holy shit..." Edward said wide-eyed as he gazed upon the outfit his younger brother held out for him. "No. You've got to be motherfucking kidding me. This was not a part of the deal."
"Come on, Edward..." Alphonse pleaded. "We were lucky enough that Envy's family actually put up the money for the wedding, and it is for Envy... so... please?"
"Can't we get something else here so I don't have to wear-"
"There's not enough time, Ed!"
"Isn't there an extra suit around here, somewhere?"
"No, I'm sorry, brother..." Al said defeatedly. "Come on, would you please do it? It's for Envy, you know?"
"No," the older blonde said indignantly. "I am not embarrassing myself like that in front of his and my entire set of family and friends. I am almost 25, now, I don't need-"
"Okay, what the hell is the problem here?" An angry female voice stormed in along with its owner, who just happened to be the one and only Winry. Her vibrant blue eyes rested on the garment in Alphonse's hands, and she immediately froze. "Oh. I see."
"Yeah, you see?" Edward repeated, frustrated. "I'm almost as tall as him now, it's not cute anymore!"
"Actually... it kinda is, Ed..." Winry admitted, failing to hold back her eruption of laughter. "Awww, come on! Do it for Envy! He'll love you to death!"
"He already loves me to death," Ed argued. "I'm not-"
"You idiots!" Came another female voice; now Lust walked into the room, looking quite out of place as she wore a beautifully black bridesmaid gown. "You've got less than ten minutes. Edward, suck it up and put it on. It's one day. Deal with it." Edward Elric shivered from the serious tone his his fiancé's sister's voice, and begrudgingly took the outfit out of his younger brother's hands.
"Just get out of here, and let me wallow in my own self-pity..." Lust smirked, and walked back out along with Al and Winry. Now alone, Ed looked down at the clothing his dearest Envy bought for him, and sighed. "To think I was done with this a long time ago..."
Envy anxiously adjusted his dark green tie in the mirror and fluffed out his longer-than-ever black hair, making sure he looked his best. He heard a knock on his dressing room door.
"Come in," he said, and the door swung open to reveal his brother Greed, all decked out in a classic tuxedo and ready for his younger brother's wedding. "Oh. Hey, Greed."
"You're looking very palm tree-like," the eldest Alighieri sibling joked; Envy groaned.
"Oi, weren't we done with that joke back in high school?" The black-haired man argued.
"Like hell we were," Greed teased. "Say, uh, did you see the wedding guy around? You know, the one that goes, 'Do you, Envy, take Edward as your lawfully wedded husband,' and stuff like that?" Envy chuckled.
"I didn't hire one," he said, turning around to face his older brother. "You're doing it."
"What? ME?" Greed exclaimed. "Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier? I would've worn my flame-patterned sleeveless tux instead of this boring old thing!"
"What pastor would speak at a wedding between two guys?" The younger of the two asked, bursting out into laughter. "Ed's brother is already the best man, so who else could you be? You'll be the one to wed me and my O'Chibi-san together~!"
"Is that even legal?" The older brother asked defeatedly.
"Probably not, but is gay marriage even legal?" Envy asked back. "You read all the stuff, we'll get the paperwork over with some other time." Greed still looked at him incredulously. "Please?"
"... geez, okay," the lanky man agreed. "How could I say no when my little brother is all dressed up and ready to be married to the love of his life?"
Outside the reception hall, every guest of the wedding sat in uniformly arranged chairs in great anticipation of the to-be-wed couple's arrival. Envy stood off to the side and looked out at the crowd: among the seated people were Lust, Gluttony, Izumi and Sig Curtis, Granny Pinako (who was miraculously still alive and kicking), Hohenheim, Paninya, and even Wrath, Pride and Sloth. Yet, as his violet eyes scanned the very last row, Envy saw that his father wasn't present. Who cares, he thought. I never expected him to come, anyways. I wouldn't even had invited him if it weren't for Ed. Suddenly, Greed called for the crowd to be silent, and gestured for Envy to come out and stand in his place; he did so, proudly donning his pitch black suit and deep green tie. Envy heard the entry music begin to play, and nervously watched for his gorgeous and absolutely adorable blonde Edward emerge.
"Get moving, you moron!" Winry and Alphonse whispered as loud as they could, pushing the shorter blonde towards the exit that led outside. "The music's already playing!"
"I'm too nervous!" Edward whispered back. "I can't do it! Not now! Not in this!"
"Edward Elric..." Winry said, spinning him around and staring right into his golden eyes. "You have dated Envy for how many years now?"
"... almost 10, I think."
"And you realize that's a ridiculously long time to be dating someone without getting married, right?"
"... your point?"
"You and Envy have waited long enough. You can do this, Edward," Winry said encouragingly.
"Absolutely!" Alphonse agreed; the fully-grown blonde man swallowed, and turned around once more to face the exit.
"I can do this..." he whispered.
"Get out there!" Suddenly, Al and Winry gave one final push, and Ed revealed himself to the entire wedding crowd. The thing he wore that he protested so much over was the most beautiful white wedding dress imaginable, complete with long lines of elaborate ruffles circling the skirt that went all the way to the ground. The torso section was a sleeveless bodice that was lined with delicately embroidered leaves, which, upon looking closely, looked a bit like palm tree leaves. Along the waistline was a large and bright red bow that tied together in the back that greatly contrasted with the dominantly pure white color of the dress, but made Edward look all the more gorgeous. It was like the dress had been made for him. Finally, a simple headdress with a shimmering gold veil covered the blonde's furiously blushing face as he walked down the aisle, keeping his golden eyes fixed on his beloved Envy, who was smiling like there was no tomorrow.
He actually wore it! Envy thought excitedly. As soon as Edward took his place beside him, the black-haired man ducked down, lifted up and veil and immediately planted a loving kiss on his lips in front of everyone at the wedding.
"Do we really need to go through all the wedding shit after that little move there?" Greed snickered, patting his younger brother on the back.
"At least go through the very last few things," Envy responded, smirking as Ed blushed to the same shade of red as the bow around his waist. "All that classic wedding stuff is mostly Christian anyways, and we're both sinners beyond belief, so who cares?" The audience of friends and family laughed. "Besides, I think my O'Chibi-san would like to get out of this dress as soon as he possibly could. For future reference, guys, this was all my idea; not his." The black-haired man wrapped an arm around his lover's waist reassuringly, and whispered into his ear, "You look absolutely gorgeous."
"A-As do y-you," Edward responded nervously.
"I love you more than anything, you know that, right?"
"And I love you, too, Envy." Ed grinned, staring into the eyes of the person he was going to spend his life with.
"Alright, so lemme see, where do I begin..." Greed said as he flipped through the wedding book in his hands. After a few seconds of this, he tossed the book behind him and clapped his hands together. "O-KAY! Does anyone have any problems with this marriage before these two lovebirds start making out here? Anyone at all, 'cause I'll kick their ass if they do." No one stood at first, but after a few moments, Envy's father appeared in the crowd. Envy stared at Father incredulously, his skin immediately beading up in sweat as to what the blonde man might say. The black-haired adult had little to nothing to do with his father since he graduated high school; now, he only feared what would happen next.
"What? You gotta problem now, Father?" Greed asked threateningly; Father only waved a hand to cool him down.
"I would just like to talk to my son before he marries the boy beside him," the man said. "Envy."
"Y-Yes?" Envy responded, unwittingly allowing his voice to become unsteady.
"Is this... truly what you need to be happy for the rest of your life?" Envy smiled down at his beloved blonde fiancé, then back at his father.
"Yeah, it is."
"Then... I might as well tell you now, that... Your mother never hated you before she died." Envy let out a silent gasp, and his violet eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "In fact... she loved you more than she ever loved me. I was... jealous of that love, and when she died, I easily took advantage of that, and... I lied to you when you asked about her. And, well..." Father fidgeted around, obviously unused to apologizing. "Well, I... I'm, erm..."
"Oh, just spit it out, you bigoted moron!" Izumi Curtis piped up irritatedly, glaring back at Envy's father.
"I'm sorry, Envy." That was it. That was the one thing that Envy wanted to hear from that man, all throughout his life. A single apology for all his stupidity. Well, not all of his stupidity. But a big part of it.
"I couldn't have said it better myself," Greed chimed in. "Now, if there are no more interruptions..." He glanced around once more; no interruptions came, only bright smiles at the loving couple. "Fantastic. Envy, do you take Edward Elric as your lawfully wedded wife-"
"I am not a girl..." Edward muttered irately.
"- In sickness and health, for better or for worse, blah blah blah, for as long as you both shall live?"
"Sure as hell I do," Envy said, the widest grin possible spread across his face.
"And, Edward... ah, what the hell," Greed gave up, grinning along with his younger brother. "You two are married! Envy, you may kiss the bri- husband, sorry."
"Gladly," Envy said, sweeping under Ed's feet, taking him into his arms and passionately kissing him for the first time in wedlock. Everyone around them applauded loudly, feeling incredibly happy for the two boys they watched grow up and grow close.
Finally, after all these years, Edward Elric and Envy Alighieri were together for-absolutely-ever.