Standard disclaimer applies.
I'm in a silly mood, so you get this silly one-shot.
He swore the thing was staring at him.
And it was not happy.
Now Percy was all for Annabeth honoring her mother, but the miniature bust was too much. Not that he could tell his girlfriend that. Part of the whole sharing space with another person thing was accepting their habits and taste in decorating, with occasional input. Telling your girlfriend that you don't want her mother in your living room? Yeah, there was no way that conversation would go well.
He couldn't even figure out where she could have gotten it. It's not like you could just go to the nearest home decorating store and pick up your favorite gods' bust. And he knew she wouldn't have made that at camp. So someone either gave that to her, or she went and found it on her own.
There was no way she would get rid of it then.
For the last two weeks, it had sat on the end table, its disapproving look weighing on him when he played video games or ate on the couch. Home was supposed to be a relaxing, safe environment, and yet there was no getting away from the miniature bust of Athena. From where it sat, the bust had a full view of the living room and the kitchen. From no matter where he turned, those judging eyes could see him.
It was so bad that he couldn't even kiss Annabeth in front of the thing, let alone anything else. And that was wrong on so many levels.
Was he being paranoid?
Maybe a little bit. But in his defense, Athena really only grudgingly tolerated him since the Titan War, and of course she was still convinced that his fatal flaw was going to get a massive amount of people killed some day.
Percy wasn't sure if the gods could visit their statues, or in this case their miniature busts. It was one thing to know the godly side of your family could check in without you knowing whenever they wanted, but another to have a bust of one of them in your living room.
If Annabeth had noticed him avoiding the living room and kitchen the last couple of weeks, she hadn't commented on it.
But Percy thought he might have worked out a solution. This way he wouldn't have to get rid of the bust and offend Athena, and he could get his living room back, at least for a few hours. There would be risks to this gamble, among them Annabeth coming home early and noticing right away and not being happy and accusing him of dishonoring her mother, and Athena, divine wisdom goddess that she was, finding out and inflicting pain on him in some form or another. But it would be so worth it for a few hours without the creepy bust eyes on him. He waited until Annabeth was out for a few hours to put his plan in to action.
And wasn't it almost funny, that the first time he really planned something like this out it was against the bust of the goddess who always had a plan?
He carefully snuck up on the little Athena bust and popped a pair of Annabeth's sunglasses onto the bridge of her little white marble nose. It was really kind of amazing how satisfying that was, even if the sunglasses barely stayed on there. So what if her eyes weren't really hidden? He felt better.
The hours passed, and at some point Percy fell asleep on the couch. He didn't wake up until the key turned in the lock and Annabeth was suddenly there.
"Drooling on the couch?" Annabeth smiled.
He checked the cushion out of the corner of his eye. Nope.
She set her keys down and walked towards him. He was doing his very best not to stare at her mother's bust, but she was so close to it. Any moment she would notice the sunglasses, and she would dredge up the Poseidon vs. Athena thing. Not that she brought up the rivalry between their respective godly parents very often any more, but if there ever was a time for it, now would probably be it.
"So what'd you do while I was gone?"
"Oh, nothing much."
"Didn't fight any monsters?"
"Just the couch for the remote."
Percy was trying to mentally will Annabeth to go to another room, but it wasn't working. She dropped her bag and plopped down on the couch next to him with a sigh. Not good. He'd have to keep her distracted.
"Yes. I can't concentrate on anything today."
Percy hummed in agreement, thinking. She was tired, maybe she wouldn't notice anything.
"So you did some redecorating while I was gone, huh?"
She was staring straight ahead, watching some program she'd just flipped to on the History channel.
"The sunglasses. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?"
She turned to look at him, the corner of her mouth twitching.
"Uh…I thought the sun was in her eyes."
"And all that sun glinting off her could totally attract pigeons."
"Pigeons. In our apartment."
"These things happen. Seriously, you know statues are like magnets to them."
"Oh really? And the sunglasses help with that?"
Annabeth turned away with a smile.
"Your head really is full of kelp. But I guess I can move my mom's bust somewhere else if you're that bothered."
So his plans never turned out exactly as he planned them. But this outcome was better than Percy could have ever planned.
On a related note, I've had pigeons in my apartment before. It does happen. Review please :)