"This is insane!" I yelled at Dash McCafferty.
He was taking my side against Noelle, and I didn't even know why. He said it was because Thomas was his friend and he knew I would never do anything to hurt him.
"I know," he said.
"I never wrote that letter," I swore.
The letter the cops showed me wasn't mine. The writing was the same, but I had never ever written it. It was all a plan to make me fall: and this was a solid proof against me. Plus, people didn't believe the dark side of Ariana so they were taking her side. Maybe because being a Billings girl was helping her. But I had Dash, and it was enough. I had Constance and Josh too. Greg also. He thought Ariana was a freak so he'd bet on her. I was so being out of my mind right now. Nothing was going the way I wanted. And now my belly started to grow, and I couldn't hide it anymore.
"I need to eat," I said.
Dash looked at me, "Your stomach looks like it is more than full," he teased. I stopped moving and looked at him, not liking his joke for one single second. If he had seen it, anyone could. He must have seen panic in my eyes because he came near to me. His eyes were full of worry. "What is it?" he asked.
I let myself drop on a chair. I faced Dash. I had to tell someone. Now, I couldn't have the abortion anymore. It had been a week, and it was too late. I had to have the baby. Anyway, I didn't want to let the baby go. It was the last thing that I had left from Thomas.
"Tell me, Reed..." Dash slowly insisted.
"I... I'm pregnant," I whispered.
Dash looked at me, surprised, "Pregnant? From Thomas?"
"Who do you think?" I said, slowly. His look was being sorry and nice. "Everyone will yell at me, they'll say I am a slut and ... I can't handle this."
"If someone can it's you," he said. "I will be supporting you. I don't know what Thomas would've done, but I knew he would have support you."
"That's what he said. The day he went missing, he was supposed to come with me to the clinic so I could have the abortion. But now... I don't want it anymore. It's like... Thomas left me a gift. I can't refuse it," I told Dash.
He nodded. "I understand." And I was pretty sure he really did understood. I had found a friend in Dash I never expected to find. It surprised me a bit. I never had thought we could ever be friends. But now we were and it was deeper than this. I had talked to Josh as well. He still liked me, but I wasn't sure I was ready to date my lover's roommate. In fact I just wasn't ready at all for anyone. And I wasn't sure I'd ever be.
"Everything will be okay," Dash said. And it sounded like a promise ... like a promise he couldn't keep.
"I hope you are right," I sighed, "or I'll be in the worst nightmare ever."
"Don't worry. I'll help ya," he promised.
"Help me? You kidding? You can't help me with this. Do I need to remind you it ain't your baby?" I remembered him.
"I know it ain't mine," he said with a little smile, "but I can help, I'm your friend, Reed."
I sighed. I was overwhelmed. Everything happened too fast. I didn't plan on having a baby at 15. Neither did I plan the death of my boyfriend. Nothing was planned. And I felt screwed. I didn't look at Dash anymore. Was I really about to replace Thomas's role as a nobody for my kid? I couldn't do this. Plus, the cops hadn't found out yet who was the body even if they were pretty sure it was Thomas. So there was still hope it wasn't. Maybe he was alive somewhere, dying under pressure. Maybe having a girlfriend pregnant was too much for him. But he had sounded enthusiasm when I had told him. Maybe he had changed his mind. Yeah that was a lot of suppositions. But I didn't wanna believe he was dead. Deep inside of me I believed he was still there, sneaking around, waiting for the good moment to show up.
"Thank you," I told Dash. He was being really nice to me which I couldn't even appreciate.
He smiled. "Anytime."
"How am I supposed to tell anyone?" I wondered.
"Tell Noelle, and everyone will know," Dash suggested.
"Yeah, she will humiliate me in front of the entire school at lunch," I added, sarcastic.
He laughed, "I am sure you can take her down too."
"I don't have their power and their sense of replies, and people don't like me like they like her," I argued.
"I trust you. You can do it. You better tell them before they find out because it'll be even worse," he hardly recommended.
I nodded. He was right. But I just couldn't do this. I couldn't wait for Noelle to gossip about me. I wasn't ready for this. Not after hearing her talking against me the entire week about how I killed my boyfriend.
I got up and said, "I should probably get going."
Dash looked at me. "Yeah, I'll catch up with you later."
I left. I barely talked to Constance when she tried to. She knew I was being through a hard time. Sure. I was crying all night long and I wasn't smiling anymore. I felt so broke. But there was still hope and that was what was killing me the most. Hoping he wasn't dead, hoping he was still alive. That he was just messing around with my head. And my heart. But I knew he would never hurt me this much. He might, but he would never ever do it like this. He would never have left me. He just couldn't.
Dinner time had came. I had to get to the cafeteria. I took a deep breathe, and I walked to it. When I got inside, every eye of the room was looking at me. They all were. I stared back at them, breaking my old habits. I saw some looks going down to my belly. I couldn't hide it anymore, and brighter people might have already noticed. I waited a while. I sat at a lonely table since no one wanted to eat with me. I waited ten minutes. I saw Dash and Josh coming in. They saw me, but I told them to go away. What I needed to do was something I had to do on my own.
When I got the feeling everyone was in here, I stood up on the table and told everyone the truth, "I bet some of you already noticed, and yes it is true. I am pregnant. And yes, before you ask it's Thomas's. And no, I ain't gonna get an abortion. You can judge me, I don't care. I just can't let what Thomas left me leave, too," I said.
Everyone was still staring when I left the room. A thing I noticed was Josh and Ariana's killer look.
Ruby-Ashley: Thank you so much! The books are actually soooo good! I haven't read them all yet, but that's mostly because I was so in love with Thomas and he's gone. I shall read them all. Did you read them all?