I was looking through the One Piece when I thought it'd be fun to do a One Piece x Saw crossover. I've tried to keep everyone in character and while some may think Jigsaw acts a bit OOC in this fic, he's still a murderous bastard, and seeing as there have never been anyone like Luffy and Zoro in the Saw movies, we don't really know how he'd respond to them.
This story takes place in our world, but with Zoro and Luffy still coming from the One Piece world (Maybe one day I'll write a fic where they come to our world - it'd be fun to see how they'd react to it). This is why the other characters are not aware of devil fruits, like what Luffy has and are also not aware of the kind of strength Zoro has.
The first thing Pirate Hunter Zoro noticed when he began to regain consciousness was the hardness of the floor he was sleeping on. Groaning he shuffled himself into another position without opening his eyes. He was quite used to waking up in uncomfortable positions – a price that had to be paid for taking spontaneous naps when and wherever he felt like.
"Ohh!" came an all too familiar voice "Looks like Zoro's awake!" shortly followed by a repetitious poking sensation in his cheek.
"Luffy, I'm sleeping. Go bother the cook." Zoro complained, still not opening his eyes.
"Can't, he's not here," Luffy said simply.
"What, has he gone to get more supplies?" Zoro asked, still with his eyes closed.
"Look you moron," came an unfamiliar voice, "how 'bout you open your eyes and take a look around, you're clearly not where you think you are."
Zoro opened his eyes to see himself, Luffy and three other people spaced around a grimy looking room.
"…This isn't the Sunny"
"It seems we've all been kidnapped" laughed Luffy, indicating to himself, Zoro and the three strangers. "Isn't that great?"
"What the heck are you on boy?" asked a middle aged man before Zoro could respond. "How the hell could this be great?"
"Bob's right. If you think this is great, how do we know that you're not the one who put us all in here?" demanded a young woman near the back of the room. The other two nodded in agreement, starting to look quite angry.
"Look," said Zoro before the confined people could get aggressive "We're not the ones who put you here. I have no idea who did or how we all got here."
"Then why the hell is he laughing?" a scared looking man with an employee name tag reading 'Joe' pointed at the still grinning Luffy.
"Cause when I find the guy who did this I'll kick the bastards ass" Luffy grinned.
"Look, not that I have any doubts about you 'kicking the bastards ass,'" said Bob sceptically "but I think you should be careful with what you say."
"Why's that?" asked the young woman.
"Because Carlie, we're being watched." Bob indicated towards a security camera set up in the corner.
"You mean someone just heard what the kid just said?" Joe asked.
"I don't think it really matters" answered Zoro "This guy had probably already made up his mind about what to do with us when he took us, so it probably doesn't matter whether he hears what Luffy says or not.
"Probably?" shrieked Carlie "You don't know that for sure!"
"Carlie's right," said Joe "this bastard could be on his way right now to kill us all because that idiot called him a bastard!"
"If you're worried about the kid calling him a bastard, I'm pretty sure you just did the same," Bob pointed out.
"Hahaha, you're a pretty funny guy," Luffy commented from near the security camera.
"I don't need to hear that from you!" Joe spat looking as though he would like to hit Luffy. "And what are you doing over there?"
"Just looking at these cool invisible Den Den Mushie's"
"Den Den what's- Oh I can't deal with this time wasting anymore," said Bob "Everyone, we'll work together, find an exit and escape before someone comes for us."
"Doors locked" said Zoro trying the door.
"No shit that was the first thing we tried– wait what are you doing?" Carlie said watching Zoro sit down against a wall "How can you possibly sleep now?"
"Already tried looking for an exit, can't find one." Zoro said dismissively "Maybe if I had my swords I'd cut down the door, but right now I'm tired"
"You can't be tired now! What if we're trapped here forever!" said Carlie almost hysterically.
"I think that'd be fun!" imputed Luffy "Imagine all the things we could do!"
"ARGH! I can't take anymore of this guy!" yelled Joe, swinging a few poorly aimed punches at a laughing Luffy.
"Look lets calm down," Bob reasoned. "regardless of whether or not we think it is exciting…" he flashed a glare at Luffy. "It is clear that we have been kidnapped. Maybe if we share with each other what we can last remember doing we'll find some common ground."
"Well I think they may have spiked one of my drinks," began Joe "seeing as how I can't remember anything after the first one"
"Oh! Oh! Same with me!" exclaimed Luffy "Only I fell asleep while eating my meat!"
"Luffy, you do that several times a week, as do most of your family. I don't think they did anything with your food. Though I think they might have messed with my drinks, I can only remember up till my 16th drink which~"
"Whatever!" said Bob "Like you'd be feeling fine up till you're 16th drink."
"Hey, I'm not asking you to believe me or anything," responded Zoro "I'm just telling you what happened … Hey," he added "you lot don't have bounties by any chance do you?"
"What? Of course I don't!" said Carlie "I'm not some common criminal."
"Just thought I'd put it out there." Zoro said as the others looked at him suspiciously.
"Hey what's that?" Bob said indicating towards a small dirty looking bag in the corner of the room.
"Maybe its meat!" said Luffy excitedly while Joe picked it up.
"It's a laptop" said Joe in surprise. Luffy looked disappointed.
"Quick, bring it here. It might have clues on how we can escape."
The laptop started up quickly and before long they found themselves taking part in what appeared to be a video conference with some sort of creepy looking doll. The doll began to speak, introducing itself as 'Jigsaw'. "Greetings" It spoke "I trust that you are all won~"
"Ohh!" exclaimed Luffy "Look Zoro! A talking toy!"
"Luffy talking toys are nothing to get excited about, we saw one in one of those big toy stores this place has. Remember?"
"Ah, you're ri~"
"Ahem" Jigsaw coughed to get their attention "I'm afraid you'll find I'm no mere toy. I'd also appreciate if you'd listen if you don't mind. After all you don't have a great deal of time left now do y~"
"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed practically jumping up and down with excitement "The toy responded to us! That's sooo cool!"
"Maybe he's some kind of Toy Fruit User?" Zoro suggested.
"Yeah I bet that's it!" said Luffy with stars in his eyes "That's awesome! Hey Toy Ossan!" he said redirecting his attention to the small screen. "Will you become one of my nakama? – ouch!" Luffy cried as Zoro thumbed him in the head.
"Are you forgetting who brought us here Luffy?
"But Zoro," Luffy whined "he's a toy oss~"
"Will you two shut up and listen!" snapped Joe "He might tell us how to get out of here."
"Anyways" Jigsaw continued "I'm sure you are wondering why it is that I have brought you all here," Jigsaw tried again before:
"Does it have something to do with your Toy Toy power?" Luffy questioned.
"Look kid, I'm not a toy. And I don't know about any 'Toy Fruit' either," Jigsaw said dryly.
"So do you crap?" Luffy asked simply.
"Always has to ask the crap question," Zoro muttered as the other inhabitants jaws dropped.
"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I crap, like I just told you I am not a toy!"
"Uh ha," Luffy said crossing his arms sounding thoroughly unconvinced.
"Now, enough nonsense" Jigsaw tried again. "I'm sure you're all wondering where you are. But I can tell you that the location is not important, what is imp~"
"Ohh! I know where we are!"
"Luffy he just said it's not important," groaned Zoro having got a good idea of what would be the next thing to come from his captain.
"He said it's not important because he doesn't want anyone guessing the truth…that we're all in a giant doll house!" Luffy ended drastically. Zoro laughed.
This was too much for the rooms several victims.
"How could you possibly arrive at that conclusion?" said Carlie who'd fallen to her knees, while Joe and Bob face palmed.
"It's the only thing that makes sense, where else would a living toy bring us?" said Luffy seriously.
"Oh friken hell!" said Jigsaw "You're not going to get over this doll thing while this puppet's here are you? Heh I never wanted to show my true face to the lot of you, but since I'll never get this finished if I keep using the puppet I spose I'll have to reveal myself. Though I suppose it won't matter too much seeing as soon you'll all be dead," as this was being said a man grabbed the puppet and threw it aside, taking its place on the screen. "Now maybe," he began "we can continue,"
Jigsaw went on to explain that the door to the entrance of the house would be unlocked in three hours time, "But unfortunately," he continued "you have two hours to live. Right now, you are breathing a deadly nerve agent which you've been breathing in since you arrived here."
"Oh well, that doesn't matter 'cause I'm immune to poison." said Luffy happily.
"That only benefits you, you moron." Zoro pointed out.
"What will it take to stop you from interrupting?" questioned Jigsaw "I've never had any victims who interrupt as much as you have, least of all with such stupid comments. This gas is really poisonous and you are not immune to it! Now stop with the pointless interruptions!" Jigsaw took a moment to calm himself and regain his composure. "Ok, those of you who are familiar with Tokyo subway attacks a few years back will off know the gasses devastating effects on the human body. It attacks the body's nervous system, leading to the bodies' organs failing and the affected human suffering a terribly painful death. The only way to ove~"
"Ahh, I see now," Luffy interrupted yet again, this time with his arms folded as he nodded his head "It's a mysterious gas."
"No! I just explained how it wor- Oh look I can't be bothered with you anymore. If you weren't going to die here today I'd seriously recommend you go check out your head or something, I've never seen anyone respond to my death threats by picking their nose!" Jigsaw said referring to Luffy's currently finger filled nostril. "Now," he added quickly before Luffy could add anything else, "the only way to overcome it and walk out that door, it is to find the antidote." Jigsaw went on to explain that the antidote to the poison was hidden in different locations throughout the house and that the only way to escape was to find and use said antidotes using clues he'd give them. "The clues you'll need to escape," he hinted "are scattered throughout the house."
"So what about you?" Zoro questioned. "If this gas is so poisonous won't you die too?"
Jigsaw chuckled "Well at least you're asking a sensible question this time," he stated. "I am in a air tight bunker located somewhere under the house, you're welcome to try and find me – though you'd probably agree that'd be a bad idea. Remember, X marks the spot of the clue. So, look carefully. Now there is one last thing I'll add before to make the game more interesting. I've decided to give wea~" Jigsaw stopped when his eyes landed upon a now sleeping Zoro. "Hey! Don't fall asleep while I'm answering your question!" he exclaimed "And this next part specifically involved you... Wake up!"
"Maybe he's already feeling the effects of the poison?" suggested Carlie as Joe shook Zoro.
"Nah, that can't be it," replied Bob looking concerned "I'm familiar with these gasses; they don't take effect in that short a time"
"Why'd you wake me?" Zoro grumbled while rubbing his eyes "I was just getting to sleep"
"How could you sleep at a time like this!?" asked Joe incredulously.
"His speech was boring" Zoro yawned.
"Look" fumed Jigsaw "I just want to finish what I have to say without you interrupting me," he pointed at Luffy "or you sleeping through it all" indicating towards Zoro. "As I was saying, I've decided to give weapons to only one of you. When I took this man, Zoro I also took the three swords he was carrying. He is only one man, and as one man could not use three swords simultaneously it may be beneficial to you to steal one of these swords. I don't need to remind you that the game you'll soon be undertaking is almost impossibly difficult and it's quite likely the only people to survive this and gain an antidote will be the ones who manage to gain a weapon." As several of the room's inhabitants made noises of disgust at the injustice of the new rule a small hole opened in the ceiling allowing the three katana to fall to the ground. Quicker than the other victims would have thought possible Zoro had moved over to the swords and claimed them before the others had the chance.
"Idiotic bastard," Zoro chuckled as he sheathed his swords "do you realise you've just lost?"
"I wouldn't count on that," Jigsaw responded "just because you have a few swords doesn't give you a quick escape. It's not like you can use them to cut through walls or anything – there are limits to what the human body can do."
"This guy really doesn't know who we are, hey Zoro?" Luffy grinned
"Well I can tell the rest of you this much," Jigsaw turned to the other victims "The two before you are pirates!" The three other victims looked over in shock as Zoro and Luffy nodded their confirmation of this fact. "And as I'm sure you're aware of the reputation pirates have for only looking out for themselves I know you'll also be aware of the fact that while they still have the swords you are at a serious disadvantage," He paused for a moment to his words sink in before continuing "The game will now begin."
"If we're supposed to search the house for the antidote how the hell do we get out of this room?" asked Bob.
"I suggest looking under the carpet," Jigsaw stated watching as Carlie checked under the grimy carpet, finding a small brass key. "Now that is taken care of you will be able to leave this room and begin the game – though I warn you, I don't expect that this'll be a game many – if any – of you will actually survive. So good luck."
"Ok!" called Luffy "See ya later toy ossan!"
"I'm not a toy oss- never mind, I need to find some aspirin..." Jigsaw muttered as the connection to the video was turned off.
"Well what now?" questioned Carlie after a long pause.
"Well clearly we take a sword of the pirate bastard!" Joe stated lunging at Zoro using splintered chair leg as a makeshift weapon. Zoro easily sidestepped and using the hilt of Wado Ichimonji bonked Joe in the head, knocking him to the ground.
"Look," said Zoro "I've got no intention to hand these swords over, but unlike the Toy bastard said I am completely willing to help you all get out of here, if of course you don't try nicking my swords."
Clearly not looking happy at this proposal Bob stated, "Well ok, seems we won't simply be able to take them off you at any rate. But what will we do now? I don't really like the idea of exiting through the door – it's too easy for it to be some kind of trap. But I really don't see any other option – unless of course someone has any other ideas?"
"I could cut a big hole in the roof of the house and we could climb out." Zoro suggested.
"I meant realistic ideas."
"I could punch a big hole in the roof of the house and we could climb out." Luffy proposed.
"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Whose ever heard of someone punching through a roof?"
"I've done it before," Luffy mumbled.
"That's it!" Joe said pulling himself off the ground "I am sick of hearing of your crap. Before today I'd never have believed that someone could be so carefree in such a serious situation." He took the key off Carlie and headed to the door "I don't care what the rest of you do, but I can't take another minute with this moron, I'm out." he turned the key and began to pull the door open.
A serious look suddenly crossed Luffy's face as the door began to swing open. "WAIT!" Luffy shouted jumping from the ground and running at a speed that Carlie wouldn't have thought possible. Luffy was still a meter away from Joe when the door swung fully open, triggering the gun that had been positioned at head height. Luffy stretched his arms to force Joe to the ground, just as the gun went off with a large BANG!
"Shit!" yelled Bob as Carlie screamed.
"Luffy!" Shouted Zoro as he watched, almost in slow motion as the bullet hit the centre of Luffy's face and continued to travel to the back of his head. However instead of it exiting the back of his head as would have happened with anyone else, it simply slowed, never puncturing Luffy's skin. The bullet momentarily reached the back of Luffy's head, pulling his rubber skin to a point before being flung back in the direction of the gun, with Luffy being sent flying in the opposite direction. "Luffy!" Zoro shouted again, leaping over to his captain "Are you ok?" his captain had been hit by plenty of bullets – and even cannons balls – before, but as far as Zoro was aware this was the first head shot Luffy had received.
"'Are you ok?'" repeated Bob, looking a nasty pale green colour "I'm sorry to say this to you boy, but you're friend got shot in the head. He's dea~"
"Oh, that startled me!" came Luffy's voice as the boy sat up, rubbing his face where the bullet had hit.
"Ah, good I thought you'd be ok" said Zoro, giving Luffy a hand up. "First time for a head shot?"
"Yeah." said Luffy dismissively "Hurt a bit more than a normal bullet, think it might bruise" Luffy grinned,"oh well," he then looked at the three other victims all of whom had fallen to their knees with jaws that were practically touching the ground. "What's with these guys?" He asked Zoro.
"Wh… what do…how can…" Bob tried
"What do you mean what's with these guys?" said Carlie, recovering first "What the hell are you?"
"Me?" questioned Luffy. "I'm a rubber man." he answered simply grabbing either side of his mouth, stretching it about half a meter apart to demonstrate.
"Not that it makes any sense," began Carlie "but does that mean you're immune to bullets too?"
"Being rubber saves me from all blunt attacks," Luffy answered simply.
"Right…" Bob responded "…but how did you… I mean it seems like you knew Joe would get hit by a bullet if he opened the door…"
"Oh I just used my Haki for that," Luffy responded simply "the Haki didn't kick in until Joe started opening the door, otherwise I would have said something sooner."
Luffy walked to the other side of the room leaving Bob with more questions than he'd originally had. "I didn't realise how serious the Toy Ossan was about killing everyone, that bastard."
"That kind of is the vibe I got from the video conference, particularly the part where he said 'I don't expect that this'll be a game many of you will actually survive.'" Carlie said sarcastically.
"We should get going," stated Bob "Come on everyone," he said cautiously peering out the door.
"Wait a sec," Luffy walked over to the security camera. He took a large breath of air, giving him the appearance of a beach ball "Oi! Toy Ossan!" Luffy bellowed, "I'm going to help these people escape and then Zoro and I will come and kick your ass!"
"Oi! Didn't you do enough to piss him off before!?" Bob demanded coming over to scald Luffy. "Do you really need to provoke him even more?"
"What's done is done," Luffy said happily "I'm just letting the guy know what's going to happen."
"You're impossible," Bob shook his head.
"Look, I really don't understand who or what you are," Joe began, finally getting over his shock enough to pull himself off the floor "but it seems that I owe you my life. Thank you, and sorry for calling you a moron before,"
"Ehh?" Luffy looked pleased as he happily marched from the room. "Don't mention it, it's no probl~"
"Luffy look out!" Zoro called as Luffy entered the next room, triggering a wire that sent a truck sized slab of concrete landing on Luffy, leaving only his legs sticking out.
"Well what do you know?" Bob observed as Luffy's legs flail and a muffled cry for help come from under the slab. "He really is immune to blunt attacks"
"He knew there are traps all over the place, yet he marched out there without taking any care at all, he really is a moron" Joe said hardly believing that anyone could be so reckless.
"How are we going to get him get him out?" asked Carlie before answering the question herself "Maybe he'll come out if we pull his legs?"
Bob and Joe grabbed a leg each in response and started to pull. "Hey! his legs really stretch!" Bob said watching as Luffy's legs continued to extend as they were pulled across the room.
"This is just bizarre" commented Carlie while Bob and Joe nodded in agreement.
"Well this is no good." Joe observed when they had got to the other side of the room. "There's no room to pull any further." He and Bob let go of the legs, watching as they sprang back to the concrete block.
"Well how do we get him out now?" questioned Carlie listening as Luffy's muffled voice began to whine about being stuck.
"I'll get him out," Zoro responded, biting onto his white katana while getting a firm grip on the other two "It's not like it's the first time I've had to get him out of this kind of situation."
"That concrete's pretty solid" observed Bob. "I don't think swords are going to help even if you are using thr~" Bob was cut short as he watched Zoro spring forward, cutting into the concrete as easily as a normal person would cut through butter.
"You're some kind of monster too!" Joe pointed an accusing finger at Zoro "How could you possibly cut through something so solid?"
"Hahaha!" came Luffy's voice as the future Pirate King extracted himself from the rubble. "Zoro, he just called you a monster!"
"You're the other person I was referring to," Joe said dryly to the grinning Luffy.
"Well we'd better get going," said Bob "if we just stay in this room that gas will get us."
"But you've seen the kind of traps are ahead," Carlie said, worry etched on her face. "and they'll only get worse the further we go in, like that Toy- I mean - Jigsaw guy said, it's not likely we're going to last very long – even if we do all help each other,"
"We'll just have to take that risk," stated Joe "as Bob said, waiting here will only do more harm than good," He started once more towards the rooms exit.
"Wait a moment," Zoro held a sword across the door's entrance, blocking the way out.
"What don't tell me you have decided to turn on us?" Joe demanded, raising his fists.
"No dork, I'm simply pointing out that what Carlie says is true. If you do take this exit you will most likely die,"
"Yeah I do realise that," grumbled Joe "but as we've already stated there is no other way out and I'm not just going to sit here until I ~"
"I do recall Luffy and I came up with a way we can all easily and somewhat safely escape this place."
"The roof is way above us!" exclaimed Joe, "We're probably not even on the final floor. I know the two of you are stupidly strong, but you're talking about cutting a house in half with a sword. It's not possible!"
"Luffy, how do you feel about showing these people what we can really do?" Zoro suggested once again readying his swords.
"I was just about to suggest the same thing" Luffy beamed, flexing his hands.
Zoro prepared his move holding one of his swords in his mouth while starting to rotate the other two blades rapidly. Luffy squatted down pushing his leg down, giving it a spiral effect, making steam emit from his now pinky coloured skin. The other occupants in the room cautiously backed into the far corner of the room.
"Santoryu Ogi: Sanzen Sekai!" shouted Zoro as Luffy called "Gomu Gomu no Jet Gatling Gun!"
The inhabitants on the room watched on in awe as torrent of energy was released from the swordsman, while the rubber boy's pinkish fists moved so quickly they were near invisible. This was accompanied by a large crashing noise as not just the roof, but the entire building started to fall apart.
By the time Luffy and Zoro ceased their attack on the building nothing much remained, save for a few hole filled walls. "Ahh, that was fun," Luffy sighed flexing his now normal length arms
"Nothing quite like bringing down a house," Zoro agreed while replacing his swords.
Joe shook his head as he, Bob and Carlie extracted themselves from the rubble, "I never would have thought people like you'd be possible."
"It's 'cause we're pirates!" Luffy explained. "Now let's get out of here before we die!" Luffy said gleefully before the other three could point out that being pirates had nothing to do with the abilities he and the swordsman had just demonstrated. "Gomu Gomu no…" Luffy began using his arms to grab everyone in the room, ignoring Zoro's protests of "No Luffy not again!" "Rocket!" using his legs he sent himself and everyone else rocketing up into the sky, completely collapsing what was left of the house. Luffy then slowed their decent by wrapping his leg around a nearby telegraph pole, bringing them to a slower stop - though still crashing them into the ground.
"Bloody hell - that's one hell of an ability" said Bob between large breaths.
"Though maybe next time you could warn us you're going to throw us into the air," suggested Carlie.
"Don't count on it." commented Zoro as Luffy laughed.
"So," said Joe looking back at the demolished house. "Do you think he's still in there?"
"What the puppet freak?" Zoro responded "He said he was in a bunker under it all."
"Do you think the bunker survived all that?"
"Don't know, I'm sure as hell not going to go find out." Bob scoffed.
"We could just ask him," Luffy said holding up the laptop.
"Why the hell did you bring that?"
Luffy shrugged his shoulders, "Something to remember this fun day by."
"Ok, whatever," said Joe "just bring it here." The laptop turned back on, redialling the last call it'd received.
The screen showed a partially demolished bunker room, with a man in the background running around in near panic, trying to decide on what he should fix first. "You?" he spat when he glanced his computer. "What the hell did you do? How the heck did you all make it out of the house?"
"Sliced." replied Zoro.
"Punched." responded Luffy.
"Do you have any idea the trouble you've caused?" Jigsaw fumed "You've completely destroyed my bunker, now I'm the one breathing in this stupid toxic gas!"
"Don't you have some kind of gas mask?" asked Zoro.
"I left it up in my car," Jigsaw mumbled.
"Wow, you're really stupid Toy Ossan" commented Luffy.
Jigsaw seemed not to heard as he muttered, "and I'll have to avoid also my traps once I've managed to free myself from this stupid room – they're not electronic for the most part, they work using tripwires and other such triggers, so I'll need to be really careful."
"We got caught by a guy like this?" Joe wondered aloud, half in disgust, half amusement.
"This is all your fault!" Jigsaw suddenly screeched pointing at Luffy and Zoro "If you'd only listened to what I said you would have tried to escape through the door, I'd be enjoying myself watching the lot of you die right now when instead it's me breathing in this stupid nerve gas."
"Not that I really care too much Toy Ossan," Luffy began "but if you're that worried about the gas, shouldn't you simply turn back into you're Puppet Form – then you wouldn't have to breath it in."
"For the last time!" raged Jigsaw "I am not a toy! I am simply a man! Nothing more nothing less!" he took a breath to calm himself. "Which clearly different from what the two of you can say. What the hell are you?"
Luffy tilted his head in confusion, "I thought you said you already know what we are, well you really are a bit of an idiot if you've already forgotten."
"We" said Zoro "Are pirates!"
Ok, now I have finally got around to editing the story. I originally wrote this story a few months ago on a procrastinating whim when the idea occurred to me while I was suppose to be writing an essay for uni. I wrote the story in a night, but felt a bit bad about wasting so much time, so I didn't worry about any author notes or editing it at all. Now that I have finally got around to editing it (as well as rewording parts of it) I hope the story will read better. If you see grammar mistakes let me know and I'll fix it.
Hope you enjoyed it!
Don't forget to review.
(In case you are wondering - yes I actually managed to finish the essay - and I actually managed to get a decent mark for it despite all my time spent procrastinating ;D)