So I've been dying to post up a KHR fic but never really got a chance to until now!
I got this idea after reading a bunch of Mary Sue parodies (which some I found were really funny) and I decided to do my little own version of it –if you can turn something into a Sue, why not UN-Sue them? And so the birth of this story…
Experimental, since it's my first time trying my hand at something like this. Hopefully I was able to grasp the whole 'Mary Sue' concept right.
Obvious parody, ridiculous humour, and crack-filled. Enjoy to the EXTREME~
The Amazing Transformation Of A Sue
. . .
1. Unidentified Crashing Sue
It was yet another ordinary day…or was it?
A hard strike on the head sent Sawada Tsunayoshi, "Tsuna", flying across the room and waking up from his peaceful slumber. He winced in pain as he lay scrambled on the floor, and later on realized that there was a baby standing right in front of him, a menacing smirk forming on his lips as he clutched a large green mallet in one of his tiny hands. But Tsuna looked passed him ('cause you know, being hammered almost to the verge of death and being sent flying across the room was the ordinary way to wake up) and saw the clock instead.
Oh no! He was going to be late! Tsuna zoomed out of his room and out of the house, a slice of bread magically appearing in between his lips, and his clothes magically changing from his nightwear to his school uniform – 'cause, you know, that's the ordinary way to have breakfast and change clothes.
On the way, Tsuna had encountered his ever loyal 'right-hand man', Gokudera, greeting him with an optimistic "Good morning, tenth!" Tsuna smiled while another one of his friends, Yamamoto, tagged along as he came out from some corner of the street.
"Oi, Tsuna!" He beamed, swinging his bag to his back.
"I told you to keep your distance from the tenth!" Gokudera spat, taking out a few from the many dynamites he kept hidden under his blazer.
"Easy, Gokudera! We don't want to get in trouble!" Tsuna pleaded. Gokudera was quick to comply and discarded the dynamites by throwing it somewhere far away, which caused it to explode anyway and set fire to whichever sorry house he threw it at.
Tsuna sighed hopelessly.
Suddenly, in the middle of their talking/slash/bickering and walking, the most NOT so ordinary thing happened!
Out of the blue, blue and slightly cloudy sky was a thing! A thing that was falling rather rapidly towards them. It started out as small pointy end of a needle, but as it got nearer and came down faster, it started to become like a big ball of fire.
Tsuna started to panic.
Gokudera and Yamamoto were too engrossed in their sudden argument on which bread condiment tasted best (tomato sauce or wasabi) to even notice –wait, what?
It speeded its way even closer towards them, and while the other two seemed to be oblivious to what was happening, Tsuna was already saying his final prayers before meeting his doom.
When surprisingly – and much to Tsuna's relief, the thing that fell out from the sky didn't crash and kill him. But instead it ever so gently landed in front of them, like it hadn't been speeding by a hundred miles per second… like it had deified the laws of gravity. All fire seemed to have exhausted from it. As the wind blew the ashes from its top surface, it is revealed that it wasn't a ball at all! It was an oblong! And it was covered in pure white feathers that resembled the feathery wings of an angel.
To their utter surprise, it did seem to be an angel!
The wings opened gracefully and elegantly, spreading wide across Namimori to the other side of town. And between said wings was a dangerously bright light that would blind anyone in its path. Tsuna, Gokudera, and Yamamoto squinted their eyes at the sudden radiance. But they didn't fail to notice the angelic figure that stood before them.
From a motion of her long, slender arm, the pair of wings vanished in a twirl of gold and silver mist.
The boys stood there, mouth agape at the person/creature/whatever it was. She was very, very, very beautiful that with a goddess-like beauty of hers', earthly eyes are not worthy enough to set their gaze at her.
"Hello, earthly beings…" She greeted like the foreigner she was with her eight-octave high voice, and despite how seriously annoying it sounded, she was excused from it because of her wonderful charm, for she was allowed to be an airhead and be charming at the same time.
Her smile was worth a thousand miles to be seen. She bobbed her head to the side in a friendly manner, her stunning hair following the course of the movement the way perfect hair should.
Oh, but the perfectness of her hair could not be simply described as "strikingly impressive especially in beauty or excellence" (as said according to the dictionary), its whole essence had to be noticed too. The color was in the perfect remedy between virgin snow white (or was it dainty silver?) and fresh lilac, and it fell stylishly from her scalp to her butt, the ends curling like the gentle waves of an ocean.
"My name is Manami Xochiquetzal Qetesh Cliodhna Bastet Aphrodite Lada Oshun," she said. "And I have a problem…" Suddenly, her voice sounded forlorn and it now resembled the harmony of a choir of weeping angels singing a very sad song.
"With what just happened? It really does look you have a problem…" Gokudera stated arms across his chest as he raised an eyebrow at its oddity. "But this is amazing!" He exclaimed, interest boiling up inside of him as he further put his mind to it. "A newfound creature! You don't seem to be human at all!"
Tsuna snapped out a little while later when he realized that his socks were wet – and apparently from the small puddle of drool that came dripping from his open mouth. He disgustedly wiped the bottom of his lip with his sleeve.
"I'm not a creature," she replied, offended – hurt as if she had been shot to the heart. "My name is Manami Xochiquetzal Qete-"
"We heard you the first time!" Gokudera spat matter-of-factly, cutting her off.
"Good. Then please address me that way…" She said sounding satisfied that they were actually paying attention. They had to though since she was the center of attention after all.
"Manami Xo…asdfghjkl…" Yamamoto tried, but couldn't get the pronunciation quite right. "Your name is kinda hard to say! Any nicknames?" He asked, laughing sheepishly.
"Manami would be just fine." She informed. "Or any name which counterpart is beauty like the rest of my names!"
"Manami… So you said you had a problem?" Tsuna wondered as he looked at her.
"Ah yes!" She exclaimed clasping her hands together as if she momentarily forgot about it and remembered suddenly. "Alas, for one day I was merrily wandering around the heavens, when suddenly, without noticing I fell into a gaping hole in the clouds!" A spotlight from out of nowhere focused on her as she fell to the ground theatrically, raising a weary arm over her head. "…and I found my pretty little self here. I must get back from where I belong!"
A crowd of people from some random place started cheering, applauding, and calling out her ridiculously long name. "Encore! Encore!"
The girl stood up, smiling her award-winning smile, and thanked the audience as she curtsied and waved her hands and sent flying kisses. "Thank you, thank you. I love you all!"
"Uh… What was that?" Gokudera asked puzzled as he turned to the equally puzzled Tsuna. Tsuna shrugged.
There was silence as everything reverted back to the original scene. But the silence was soon breeched when Yamamoto's loud laugh sounded. "You're one funny person! And a great magician too! How'd you even manage to pull off stuff like that?" He said as he completely disregarded the abnormality that had just happened, thinking how it was all, you know, 'magic'.
"But… It wasn't magic!" The pretty girl convinced.
"You idiot!" Gokudera added after her, slapping the back of Yamamoto's head. "I'm pretty sure that this was no trick. I think I've read about this somewhere before…" Gokudera explained with scepticism, putting on his glasses and adjusting it just above the bridge of his nose.
"You know about this?" Tsuna had a curious expression. "Could it possibly be an UMA?" He asked.
"I'm not quite sure, tenth. This creature is way too…" Gokudera glanced at the girl.
She stood there innocently in her silky white dress that outlined her slimmer than a model and bustier than Betty Boop figure. Her hair was still beautiful. And her eyes… Her eyes were like windows to a different dimension, as if you'd lose your way by merely staring at them. They shined like a brilliant star, even more that they were in a magnificent shade of gold – it looked far more valuable than the element itself.
"Gokudera? Hey, Gokudera!" Tsuna shook the bedazzled Gokudera when he noticed that he'd stopped explaining in mid-sentence. "GOKUDERA!" He screamed this time, right in Gokudera's ear.
"Tenth! Yes! I'm here!" Gokudera sputtered after finally being able to snap from his trance. "Oh! As I was saying… this… species… is way too perfect to be an UMA."
"Then what could it be?" Yamamoto asked.
"We'll have to find out…"
"So that means you'll help me with my problem?" The girl, clearly not paying attention to the conversation, interrupted.
"We… we'll see what we can do…" Tsuna said, unsure of this decision. The girl smiled blissfully.
And so with the resolve to find out what she may be, the gang had set out to the public library to do some research. And hopefully wouldn't encounter a certain skylark as they made their way. After all, they were skipping class.
This was tons of fun to write so I hope you guys had enjoyed reading! Send me what you think. Love, hate, whether I should continue it or not. Constructive criticism. You know the drill.